Chapter 53: Chapter 53: Rememberance

"Jiejie, would Moonlight Pagoda ever pledge allegiance to the Xiluo Tribe?"

Li Yingshan lowered her head. "I will keep my sect out of this war. When one side comes out on top, Moonlight Pagoda will consider cooperating with the ruling family. Be it the Chen family or the Huyan family."

Li Feifei crossed her arms and hmphed. "Jiejie has already stuck her neck out for the Xiluo Tribe. The Xiluo Tribe can protect you much better than those weak Chens."

"A-Li, if it wasn't for Chen Chengxian, I would be dead. Your Jiejie would have failed her promise to the Chieftain and Chieftess."

"Xu Yingshan, what all are you hiding from me?"

Li Yingshan's head shot up. She gaped at Xu Haoran. He strode inside.

"You never told me you had a nominal daughter. You also failed to mention that she was the Crown Princess of the Xiluo Tribe. So what else are you hiding from me?"

She stammered. "I- I didn't tell you about A-Li because of her identity. It was to keep her safe, Hero Xu. The only ones in Moonlight Pagoda who know about her are Miao Chuntao and Han Shaolei. Even Priestess and my Elders doesn't know."

"But is there anything else you're keeping from me?"

She shook her head. "No."

"Xu Yingshan, please don't lie to me again."

"There's nothing else."

Although it pained her to lie to him, she knew that if she revealed her lack of internal force, he would drag her back to Longxin City faster than she could protest. She needed to stay at Moonlight Pagoda while Emperor Mingzhi had to deal with the Xiluo Tribe. If she left, who else could keep an eye on things as well as her?

"I will only give you one last chance. Is there anything else, Madam Xu?"

She winced at the title. Biting her lip, Li Yingshan hesitated.

Finally, she shared, "Chen Kai's mother was a member of Cloudless Night Sect. Many of Cloudless Night Sect's involvements were because of him. My father did send assassins after me, but Chen Kai's men killed them. They're the ones who poisoned me with Fury Black Poison. He's also the one who killed my sisters with the Nether Blades. Just before he stabbed me, he admitted it all. Although he wasn't the public leader of Cloudless Night Sect, he controlled the sect. The Sect Leader obeyed him. Everything that befell me was all within his plan. I was always nothing more than his puppet. And when he feared my power and influence enough, he tried everything to get rid of me."

Xu Haoran's hands clenched tightly. "If you hadn't already killed him, I wouldn't hesitate to. You've suffered so much because of him. It's not right. It's not fair."

"Life's not fair, Hero Xu. There are ups and downs. Perhaps I've suffered a little more than others, but that's also because I have raised my status more than others could ever dream of. I once was a Young Lady of the Li family. I am an Elite of the Jianghu. I am the Goddess of Moonlight Pagoda."

"You also could be Empress."

Confusion flickered across her eyes. "What?"

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"Aren't you tempted? Such power within your hands? Empress of Imperial China. Why stay with a simple Hero of the Jianghu when you could be the wife of the Emperor himself?" he asked bitterly.

She leapt to her feet, shaking her head. "As much as I don't understand our marriage, we are still married. Yes, I could divorce. But that would stain my reputation further. I'm already the disgraced Third Young Lady of the Li family who got disowned. Martial artists everywhere are criticizing you for having married me. But now that the world thinks I'm dead, isn't your standing much better? The only problem is, is that I'm not dead. We're still married. If I divorced you, you'd be praised for finally ridding yourself of me. But I'd be torn down even more than I already am."

"So you're staying married to me for your own benefit?"

She replied carefully, "Not just mine. If I divorced you and chose to marry Emperor Mingzhi, what would happen? I would bring such heavy baggage to the Imperial Harem. How could I let that happen? Plus... I consider Emperor Mingzhi a friend. But only a friend. I don't have romantic feelings for him."

"Do you have romantic feelings for anyone?"

Li Yingshan blinked before saying, "Once. In the time that our relationship was good, I fell in love with you. But after I chose to go my own way, I knew you'd never forgive me for staying in politics. So I figured you'd divorce me. When I almost died, I thought it was for the best. You'd move on and forget about me. And then... we had our falling out. I couldn't gauge your feelings after that. All I felt was your anger."

Xu Haoran walked forward and grabbed her chin. "Do you love me now?"

"I- I don't know."

He sighed. "Xu Yingshan, I know I've not been the best husband. But I'll be better. I'll make it up to you."

She looked away. "How? Haven't things been too rocky between us? Before I went to Luoyang, we were happy. I don't think things can return to the way they were though."

"Why not? Why can't we have what we had before?"

"Longxin City isn't where I'm needed. Headquarters is. I need to be here. Especially if the Xiluo Tribe makes a big move. Until there is peace, the Goddess of Moonlight Pagoda will not abandon her disciples."

"Are you sure you won't go back?"

"I didn't say I never would again, I just mean for now. If you want to go back, I understand. You belong in the Jianghu. Moonlight Pagoda no longer belongs to just the Jianghu, but also to the throne. You've never wanted to be involved in political skirmishes. Since I made a promise to Huyan Weili and his wife, I'm already dragged into this war. As much as I wish to remain neutral, I know that Moonlight Pagoda will be forced to take a side eventually. Take my advice, Hero Xu. Go back to Longxin City and forget about me. We will live separate lives, and if one day, you meet someone else and want to marry her, then I will cooperate and sign the divorce papers."

"I will never marry anyone else," Xu Haoran stated, determined.

"Why?" Li Yingshan wondered. "Our marriage was arranged."

"Dummy," he murmured. "You don't remember, do you?"

"Remember what?"

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