Chapter 184: You Said You Want To Be Alone

Guan Xian did not even wait for her to go. He just left her in the cold lobby as if they never knew each other before. 

Xia Sha wanted to call him a cruel man, but she does realize that she is more destructive than that sweet man. It's not in her place to complain about him. 

Xia Sha pushed him away, again and again, when the only thing that Guan Xian does is fighting for them. It's the right decision for him to walk away from her. 

Xia Sha is dragging Guan Xian down. 

And she grows up surrounded by toxic people. Subconsciously or not, Xia Sha knew she tended to be the same type of person as a person as the people in her environment. 

Watching Guan Xian disappear between the night pained Xia Sha heart. But somehow, she could manage to return to her place without crying. 

Somehow Xia Sha could pretend that nothing happens before and spend the night with the girls. 

Somehow Ruan Jing Tian pretended nothing happen as he opens the beer can. 

Somehow Xia Sha could force a smile out from her lips when Zheng Shuang make a joke about Xiao Yu. 

Somehow it does not rip her heart when Xiao Ni talked about Guan Xian. 

Somehow she could send them off with a smile the very next morning. 

There are too many somehow that Xia Sha could not differentiate the reality with images on her mind anymore. She did not realize how fake and yet- strong she is until now. 

Xia Sha lives her life as she would regularly do. 

She takes a shower and takes her book after lunch. She tried to immerse herself inside the book, but her eyes keep darting at the phone on her lap. 

Xia Sha keeps repeating her weird cycle before she had enough. She throws her book away and picks her phone up. She looked at a specific profile picture of the man and wrote a sentence of words with her trembling hand. 

Xia Sha: "I'm sorry, I should not say that last night. Can we talk?"

She pressed the send button with a heart almost bursting.

Only to get an instant reply from the application service. 

This user hasn't added you as a friend, or you've got blocked :). 

"!!!"

It's so unexpected that Xia Sha let out a loud gasp from her lung. Her eyes widen, perfectly formed a 360-degree circle. She wrinkles her nose and puts down her phone carelessly. 

"He blocks me?" she asked herself, looking in disbelief as she stares at her phone on the side table. Her chest is moving up and down as she indecisively takes her phone for the second time. 

Her slender finger moves its way to another contact on her friend list. Without any hesitation, Xia Sha clicked on Xiao Ni's beautiful profile picture. Without a breathing pause, she sends her the screenshot she just took. 

She sucked her lower lips and regretted her impulsive action as soon as Xiao Ni read her message. Xia Sha wanted to bury herself inside a hole when 'Xiao Ni is typing' written on the top of the chat. 

She unsent the picture right away, even though she knew it wouldn't change anything. 

Xiao Ni: HAHAHA!

Xiao Ni: HE DARES TO CALL ME PETTY WHEN HE FREAKING BLOCK HIS GIRLFRIEND AFTER A FIGHT!

Xiao Ni: Lols. Didn't you two make up last night?

Xiao Ni: Wait! I'll talk to him!

Xia Sha: No! Don't talk to him. 

Xia Sha: I am sending you a message as my friend.

Xiao Ni: Oke, Fine. So what do you want to say to him? I could help your middle guy. 

Xiao Ni: No worries. 

Xiao Ni: Free charge for you! 

Xia Sha read Xiao Ni's text and her brain suddenly went blank. Right, what should she said now? 

Initially, she wanted to apologize and talk to him. But after chatting with Xiao Ni, she realized that she had nothing to talk about with Guan Xian. 

Apologize? 

Well, Xia Sha needs to do that, but she could not fulfill Guan Xian's demands to be in a relationship right now. And she knew the problem did not lay on Guan Xian. It's on her. 

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The problem is always on her. 

The insecurities and trust issues inside her subconscious mind are limited her options. Xia Sha did not believe that she could be in a relationship that lasted for a long time. But every time she saw Guan Xian, they got reminded of their commitment. 

She is so selfish and coward like that. 

Especially after knowing the truth about her parents, she suddenly full of doubts about everything and every situation. Don't forget Meng Ran and loads of her enemy. Sometimes Xia Sha felt so tired that she wanted to give up on this life.

She never seems right in terms of judging human character, and Guan Xian excels in her valuation. What if-

What if she got it wrong again?

She couldn't even understand her parents that she knew for her whole lifetime. How can she be right about Guan Xian? 

Xia Sha lost inside her thoughts for quite some time. She only realized Xiao Ni is waiting for her answer when Xiao Ni send another text. She picked up her phone hesitantly and read the new message.

XN: Well, whatever it is, can you help me today?

Xiao Ni: I need to find a wedding gown :(

Xiao Ni: I'm getting married. If you forgot.

Xiao Ni: Xia Sha?

Xiao Ni: Hello???

Xiao Ni: Anybody home?

Xiao Ni: Sister in law! Where are you?

Xiao Ni: *Angry gif*

Xiao Ni: Hey! Are you alright?!

The worried lines on Xia Sha's face slowly disappear. A smile started to rise on her lips. She types her reply without even thinking. 

Xia Sha: Sure! I'll wait for you in the lobby later ^^

So Xia Sha waited for Xiao Ni in the lobby, wearing a comfortable dress and casual sneakers. The style she wears today is a 180-degree different from the 'Businesswoman Xia Sha' the images that she builds for herself. 

She also did not draw the heavy lines of eyeliner on her eyelids. Instead, she wears minimal makeup with pair of sunglasses. 

Xia Sha is ready to help Guan Xiao Ni find her dream wedding dress. But Xiao Ni never appears in the lobby. No matter how long Xia Sha wanted to wait. 

But Guan Xian does.

He is wearing the same series of sunglasses Xia Sha wears right now and a dark blue hoodie. He looks too casual for the CEO of Guan Corporation. Nevertheless, he could never hide his aura and handsome face. 

Xia Sha notices him right away as he steps out from his black Maybach. A frown appears on Xia Sha's face almost instantly. She grabs her phone and turns her body in an attempt to ignore Guan Xian.

-And history always repeats itself.

Xia Sha should have known Guan Xian could always catch up and caught her with his long legs. It felt like a deja vu how gentle he grabs her wrist. The only difference that tells Xia Sha that she is living reality right now is how Guan Xian pulls her without saying anything.

The ever chatty Guan Xian even give up communicating with her. 

So she ends up in the same car with Guan Xian. Again. And he is still giving Xia Sha a cold shoulder. Guan Xian did not even bother to steal glances at her. Guan Xian is just doing his job, driving as if Xia Sha is not sitting next to him. 

It's suffocating. But Xia Sha realized that is what she wanted in the first place. Guan Xian only granted her wishes. She should deal with the situation and the pain. 

'Xia Sha, it's okay. You only need to ride this car so you could support Xiao Ni afterward. You cannot cry! It is what you wanted. You asked for this, so you need to bear the consequences? Okay?" She chanted on her mind like a madwoman. 

Xia Sha is so busy helping herself to get over the situation. She did not realize Guan Xian had driven far away from the boutique Xiao Ni mention in the chat. It's only until Guan Xian stopped the car and a great view of the sea welcomed her eyes, Xia Sha realized something amiss. 

"Where are we?" Xia Sha forgot her pride and looked over to Guan Xian. 

Guan Xian raised his eyebrow slightly and pointed at the ship right in front of their car. Xia Sha closes her eyelids, trying to rearrange her question so she could get the proper answer. 

"I meant, what are we doing here?" Xia Sha pressed her lips into a worried line. 

Guan Xian, who seems disinterested the whole ride, suddenly shows a little interest on his face when he sees worries on Xia Sha's face. A soft smirk appears on his lips as he stares deeply into Xia Sha's soul. 

"You said you want to be alone. I'm going to giving you the right amount of space for you to think. Your present is there," Guan Xian grins, pointing at the ship as he tilted his head. 

Xia Sha suddenly regrets her decisions when she sees those lines of a devilish smirk.

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