Chapter 2: Chapter 1: The Suicidal Immortal

I got caught again. Of course you got caught, you irresponsible piece of shit. They call me the legendary Eight The Infinite, what a joke. I got drunk and caught by these idiots. I looked at one of my captors as she repeatedly smashed her head against a tree laughing hysterically. AAAACHH my head hurts.

Okay okay, maybe I can work with these lunatics. What was the name of their clan again? The hierarchy of something, the hierarchy of? What was it you drunk imbecile, think! The hierarchy o-f paaaain. Hierarchy of pain, HO?! My heart started racing.

Traumatic memories surfed up without any warning. Their name was something something of Ash, I didn't remember. However, I did remember very vividly when their leader decided I was a demon and needed to be sacrificed to the fire god. I could still feel the pain of burning alive for weeks. It was hard to breathe now. That's not good, I'm panicking.

If they didn't gag me right away, maybe I could have convinced them to kill me to confirm I'm really the immortal from the wanted poster. My looks are not that distinct after all. That way I will be free, and maybe try to run for it. Damn, if nothing else those morons know how to tie a person. I couldn't even move a bit.

Just as I started to imagine what kind of torture awaited me, a knight in shining armor suddenly appeared. Well, now that he stepped closer his shiny armor looked way less impressive. This man was covered in trash and metal scraps, his face was masked by a big helmet that looks like a bucket. Actually, it might just have been a bucket with holes for the eyes. At least his weapons looked impressive. A big metal kite shield full of scratches from previous battles in one hand. In the other hand, a mace covered in dried blood. This guy can definitely take these losers, but what would he do with me afterward? Is the real question. Probably turn me in for the bounty just like these guys, and I have a smaller chance of escape with him. My panic intensified.

My captors prepared for battle. Three against one, although all they had was rusty machetes. The bucket man took a defensive stance. As I looked at him again in comparison to my captors, it was clear to see that he was massive in size. My money is on the metal giant.

The smallest of my captors, the one they called Worm, opened his mouth. "You look built for violence, why won't you join us? If you help us take this immortal to our boss, we will pay you handso-"

With one surprisingly quick movement, the giant hit Worm in the head with his mace. When the mace made contact sparks of electricity burst out of it. Worm hit the ground, shaking uncontrollably for a couple of seconds. His nose didn't resemble a nose anymore, and he bled quietly on the ground. The other two charged with excitement on their faces. With one hand the giant blocked one of the machetes. With the other hand, he smashed one of the captors in the chest, making loud sounds of bones cracking and electricity. This time the one hit was still conscious somehow. He started laughing uncontrollably. Ignoring him, the giant shield bashed the last woman standing. The last woman standing stood no more as she hit the floor. Without hesitation, the giant smashed her head with one powerful attack.

A good fighter and well equipped, there is no way I'm escaping this guy. As I wondered what cruel fate awaited me, the giant got close to me. Without saying a word he retrieved a sharp-looking dagger from his belt. Is he going to kill me to check if I'm truly immortal? I closed my eyes preparing for the pain of death I'm so familiar with. Instead of pain, I felt the rope around me getting less tight. Is he freeing me? I opened my eyes. Am I missing something? I looked at my free hands still quite in shock.

The silent giant finally spoke, catching me completely off guard. "My name is Bucket," he said in a deep yet friendly voice. "Your name is 8, right?"

I didn't reply.

Looking at my even more shocked face, Bucket laughed. "Did you expect me to have a more glorious name?"

His laugh was quite contagious, I couldn't stop myself from laughing as well. "I guess I did," I said in a friendly voice. Focus! This man is dangerous, getting me to let my guard down so easily. Is he really letting me go? Is he mad? I got up and Bucket offered me a handshake. I slowly moved away from him and got close to one of the lunatics. Miraculously he was still alive, babbling about the glorious pain he felt. Bucket turned his head towards me. I am sure that if I removed that bucket-shaped helmet of his, I will find a very confused face.

Ignoring him I squatted so I could loot the last surviving lunatic. A wanted poster of me. "Wanted alive or alive." That's not funny, how did they capture my likeness so accurately anyways? Let's see what else. a really bad drawing of an orgy involving many animals, aaaaand AHH Metal teeth. I guess that's their currency. I held up the sack of metal teeth in the direction of Bucket. "I would like to introduce myself but first, I think these guys owe us some drinks".

"YOu deFinIteLy eaRneD IT, I nEEEEEver cAmE so haRd in My lIf-"

With one swift kick, I finished off the deviant In more ways than one, to my disgust. How the fuck did he even stay erect after losing so much blood? Bucket started laughing and with how contagious his laughter is, I started laughing as well.

"Before we get those well-earned drinks we have to get rid of the bodies," said Bucket in a calm voice after the laughter died down. Without missing a beat Bucket smashed the ground with his mace. He strapped a little device to his mace and flipped a little switch on it. A hole big enough to fit a body in it opened in the ground.

I carefully got close to the edge of the hole. Amazing, it's a portal. A drop into some kind of forest. This kind of technology is super rare. In fact, it's one of a kind these days. "Bucket where did you get such rare technology? And where does this portal leads anyways?"

"Killed the previous owner. The portal leads to an anomalous forest beyond the Darklands. An hour in here is days or maybe even months in the forest."

Fascinating, so if a lumberjack cuts trees in there for a month and sends the lumber here, he can effectively produce tons of lumber in hours. Using this thing for body disposal is like using a dragon to light your candles. Shut up, you stupid hypocrite! Yesterday I was too lazy to eat so I killed myself and went back to bed.

I quietly helped Bucket with the bodies. After we finished Bucket started walking towards the bushes. Does he have to pee or something? If that's the case, why not pee into the portal as a last fuck you to these lunatics? Bucket kneeled near the bushes, retrieving some sort of small animal out of them. Wait no, this is a little girl with a hat made out of a fox.

"Next time let me Fight too! I'm so little the bad guys won't see me and I will stab them with my knife." Said the little girl, enthusiastically stabbing the air with the little knife made of bone.

Bucket laughed loudly "You say that, yet I can feel you shaking with fear." The little girl turned red as a tomato. "Don't feel ashamed, when I was your age I was afraid too." Said Bucket in a reassuring voice. "Don't worry, I will train you and you will grow brave and strong." The little girl smiled, then she turned her gaze to me and the smile disappeared.

Quickly I took out my wanted poster and folded it into a bird. The look of Suspicion on her face turned into a look of amazement.

"WhOoo Can you teach me how to do that?"

"Sure but I have to know your name first"

"My name is Lucy," she said with a smile. "What is your name?"

Lucy huh? I only read about names like this one in old books. "I am the glorious 8 the infinite, master of useless facts and a pretty good cook." I even cooked my own meat into a delicious treat on a couple of desperate occasions, but she doesn't need to know that.

"So, where do we go to get drinks?" asked Bucket.

"Just follow me," I replied cheerfully. To a place that will show me if I can really trust you.

"And so the three began to walk. First through the land where the dead can talk. Then came the Screaming Sea, which is not as bad as the Burning Tree. And now they face the greatest place, for they arrived at the Great Desert of Narration."

"No one but you calls it that, this Desert is quite small and your narration is quite dull."

"Said 8 in a pitiful voice. For it is clear to everyone here that 8 is quite intimidated by the narrator's beautiful voice," said the narrator in a smug voice. "Wait don't go! It's very lonely here, I need you near. "

"See? Quite small," I said in a smug voice.

"Indeed, you're quite a good navigator," said bucket.

"I told you I didn't need a map, I may be super old but my mind is still sharp." If I wasn't Immortal anyways this skill would have saved me more times than any other. This broken world is full of places with reality-bending rules. I wonder, which place is the worst I have encountered over the years? Doesn't matter. Worse or better, nowhere felt really safe except the secret library. Yet even there I was just rotting slowly.

"You look deep in thought," noticed Bucket.

"Yes, just thinking about my next move after we reached the tavern," I lied.

"Ammm I think there is something wrong with my eyes," said Lucy in a worried voice.

"Don't worry little Lucy, your eyes are fine," I said in a comforting voice. "The closer we get to the Good Old Times tavern, the fewer colors we will see. The effect is not permanent, so it should be fine."

"Are there any other anomalous effects to the tavern?" asked Bucket.

"Of course. When you get close enough to the tavern you will start to feel like everyone you see is an old friend, even a complete stranger. You will also feel this kind of pleasant, kind of sad nostalgic feeling," I answered. "I'm guessing that is the reason it's still up and running. This anomaly seems to pacify almost everyone, the tavern owner is an exception to that rule. He is probably the grumpiest old man I have ever seen, and I have literally lived for hundreds of years." Maybe even longer, I don't really remember anymore. It definitely feels more like thousands. Stop feeling sorry for yourself you piece of shit. Well, why not? haa? I suddenly remembered the feeling of drowning for what felt like forever at the bottom of a lake. Stop that! Standing and brooding about it won't help. Complaining about complaining won't help either, shut up y- Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Are you okay? You have been quiet all of a sudden"

I jumped backward uncontrollably, my heart started racing. I wanted to run.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," said Bucket.

Relax, you're not really in danger. It's just a false alarm. I took a deep breath and focused on what I can hear. I can hear the wind. I can also hear the sounds of birds in the distance. I focused on the feeling of the wind on my skin, then on my breath again. I was still a bit shaken up but definitely more relaxed. "I'm okay, just please don't touch me."

"Don't worry, Bucket may look scary but he won't hurt you," said Lucy.

Adorable, I felt much better and gave Lucy a smile. "You're right, thank you." We kept walking and the only colors left were variations of black and white. "We must be close. I feel a lot calmer and that makes me nervous. It might seem nice at first however it's a trap. You can easily get addicted to the feeling of calm and nostalgia and just stay here forever. They start to rot inside and out over the years. Consumed by sweet memories of the past." At least the ones that don't die or disappear. For all I know the old man might be feeding new guests with the corpses of the old.

"I feel so relaxed, I can see the appeal," said Bucket.

"Luckily if you have a strong enough goal outside it might be strong enough to convince you to leave."

"AAMmmm Mister 8? I don't feel any different," said Lucy scratching her head.

"It doesn't seem to affect children, so it makes sense." I wonder at which age the effect starts. Maybe it is not a matter of age, maybe you have to have a certain amount of experiences in life before it starts affecting you. These kinds of things make me curious.

We could start to see the tavern now and a torrent of nostalgic memories flooded my mind. I remembered playing cards with an assassin and his target. I remembered spending the night with a cute nun. I remembered a warlord crying on my shoulder rambling about horrific actions carried by his name, and I remembered forgiving him. This place left strong memories. Yet there is one thing I must remember, I can't stay here. It's an escape just like the Secret Library, my future here is doomed. This effect may be dangerous, but I can use it to see if Bucket is really on my side.

We got to the entrance of the tavern by now. It looks quite generic, a wooden and brick building with a chimney. It looked old, with moss growing in every crack and vegetation growing everywhere freely. It looked abandoned yet it felt like home. I opened the door and even the annoying squeaking it made felt somehow relaxing.

"Welcome back brother." Said a half-drunk inquisitor.

"I'm glad to be back old friend," I said without even thinking to this complete stranger. From his purple and black robe, I knew he was an inquisitor of the old brotherhood. The last time I met such Inquisitor, he wasn't sure if I was a saint to be worshipped or a demon to be tortured. Those fanatics always jump to extremes. On the other hand, their idea of rebuilding God might not be so bad. No! This is the effect of the tavern speaking. God may have kept the world stable but he was also a terrible tyrant.

Okay, focus dumbass! We sat near the bar. Bucket helped Lucy up because the barstool was too tall for her. This place does have its own Magic, a slaver drinking with his slaves, heretics laughing with religious fanatics and mercenaries giving free drinks to total strangers. Bucket took off his helmet. His skin was dark except for a couple of scars on his nose and left cheek. His eyes were warm and brown and his head was completely bald. His face matches his voice, strong yet warm. looks can be deceiving, let's see who he really is. "So, what's your poison?" I asked Bucket in a friendly tone.

"Hmmmm, it has been a while since I drank whiskey," answered bucket.

"What about you little lady?"

"I d-don't know, I am a bit scared," said Lucy, looking at one of the slavers.

"Don't worry Lucy, you're safe with us," said bucket with confidence.

"No one will hurt you here anyway, look!" I turned to the person sitting to my left, a shirtless muscular man with an eye patch and lots of scars. "Would you hypothetically kill this girl for a million teeth?"

I pointed at Lucy.

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"No way. I would never hurt her, she's is like family," said the man with conviction.

"See? You're completely safe." Seems like my demonstration worked. "Here, let me order you orange juice."

"What is an ornenge?"

"Don't worry you'll love it!" it's the best orange juice I have ever tasted, feels like I have been drinking it ever since I was a child. "Hey old man, we are ready to order," I said, signaling the tavern owner.

"Ahch You again, what do you want?" said the owner in an annoyed voice.

His skin was pale and even when his face was neutral it looked like he wants to kill you for daring to exist on the same planet as he. I still felt warm towards him because of the anomaly of course. "One glass of your best whiskey, one glass of vodka mixed with lemon juice and one glass of orange juice." The old man turned around to prepare the order without saying a word. "Sooooo, Bucket?"

"Yes?"

"Why did you trust me to lead us here?"

Bucket laughed and answered "I didn't trust you. You see, I had a map all along and I know the realm of the hierarchy pretty well." The old man brought the drinks and Bucket paused to take a sip from his drink. "It was a test to see if you would lead us in the way of dangerous anomalies."

Not just strong, but clever as well.

"Why did you save me anyways?" I took a sip from my drink as well.

"No particular reason, helping people is just what I do."

"A true knight of the old world, protecting the helpless and punishing the evil," I said in a grandiose voice.

Bucket laughs And Lucy looks at him with admiration in her eyes. "It's not that grandiose. Seeing people hurt hurts me too. But more than that, helping people gives me personally a feeling of purpose. It's a win-win situation."

"You're weird, but a good kind of weird," I said with a smile.

"I will take that as a compliment." Bucket smiled back. "I think you'll be a good ally on my journey, you have to escape the hierarchy and I too may have to find a safer place now that I have Lucy to protect. " Said Bucket in a more serious tone.

"I can't leave."

"What?! Oh O, you mean you literally can't leave, because of some spell or som-"

I laughed. "No, no. I can leave I just won't." I took another long sip and continued. "There is someone here that can give me something I've been wanting for years and I won't leave without getting it." Won't leave after as well because I will be dead.

"You know what they'll do to you, what could ever be worth the risk?"

"Death, complete, final, irreversible death." Bucket stayed quiet and I explained myself. "My life is like drowning. Actually, for a couple of weeks my life was literally drowning when I pissed off the wrong guys, though that is beside the point. Every now and then I get my head above the water just for a bit and then it's back to the depths," I said in a tired voice. "My legs do get stronger so I get fresh air a bit more often and my lung capacity is getting better as well yet it took years and I'm still drowning most of the time, I'm tired of struggling." I know I should feel sad or angry maybe, but I just feel empty and tired.

All of a sudden Lucy started to cry. Shit, I forgot she was listening as well. "I'm sorry Lucy I didn't mean to make you sad," I said with a beat of panic in my voice. But all of a sudden I started to feel sad as well. Am I feeding my own sadness through her? And then I started to cry. Why? I don't remember the last time I ever cried, and for the longest time, I didn't even think I can cry. Is that the effect of the tavern? Or the alcohol? Or Lucy? Stop questioning it just let it happen. I'm connected with my pain and it's overwhelming. After a couple of minutes, the crying stopped. I felt so relieved, I guess I needed that more than I ever could have known. There is also fear that I shared too much. I don't know, there was too much here to digest.

Bucket helped Lucy calm down and bought us both napkins.

I petted Lucy's head, and said "Thank you."

"For what, crying?" said Lucy in confusion.

"I may not personally know your pain, but I do hope that you will find a personal purpose to your long life before you find the thing that can end you. When you're not just surviving but truly living the pain becomes bearable," said Bucket.

"I'm skeptical, but let's toast to that!" I said loudly while raising my glass. The other two and a bunch of strangers as well joined me. After a bit more drinking I said goodbye and went to my room. It was already prepaid for a week ahead. As I went upstairs I saw someone passed out near my room. I quickly hopped over him and opened the door.

My room had a warm feeling to it, mostly because of my infinite lantern that lit the room with warm yellow light. I took a look at my things. A short sword made out of metal from the old days, sharp enough to even cut through Bucket's armor. Plenty of bombs, poisons and other chemical weapons. My makeshift alchemy set, with all sorts of rare chemicals. A short crossbow with many different types of tranquilizer darts. My diaries and books and last but not least, a big bag to help me carry all this shit. In any other place, all of those things would be stolen already. Well, my things are fine, time to check myself.

I looked in the mirror. I was wearing dirty clothes I stole from one of the lunatics. It was Dirty with blood, or at least I was hoping it was only blood. It was hard to tell when everything is black and white. I should probably change out of those. My short brown hair was messy and my plain face was burnt from the sun.

Suddenly a blurry shape appeared behind me in the mirror out of thin air. Something hit me in the neck and my head rolled off my body. All I could see was my decapitated body and after a minute or so everything went dark. I opened my eyes, seeing my previous body beneath me and my killer to my right. The familiar pain of death broke the tavern's hold on me. I tried to kick my killer in the knee with enough force to break both our legs, but he was faster than me. He kicked me so hard I hit the wall breaking my back. I felt a sharp pain at first as I hit the wall. The rest of the pain didn't consciously get to me, the feeling of fear and helplessness took center stage. For the first time, I got the chance to take a good look at my attacker.

He was a bit shorter than me, although much more muscular. In fact, he was so muscular he doesn't look human anymore. He was wearing nothing but tattered black short pants. His body was covered in brands mostly in the shape of animals. Even though he looked like a hardened warrior he didn't have even one scar on his body. He was holding two black metal axes one in each hand. They look elegant and didn't fit his tribal look. He had a wild black beard. His eyes looked full of hate, they looked like the eyes of a predator more than those of a human. They had an unnatural venomous green color. It felt like he is trying to set me on fire with his gaze alone. His hair was as wild as his beard.

The killer squatted so our eye level would equal. My terror intensified. Should I scream for help? I have a feeling that the killer would just kill everyone in this tavern single-handedly if I do that. Even Bucket could not match this guy's quickness and strength.

"I'm here to offer you a partnership of sorts," said the killer in a calm controlled voice. I didn't expect him to sound like that at all. His voice was kind of soft and relaxed, not wild like his appearance.

"W-Well, killing m m me and breaking my back, is not a good start t-to ou-our partnership," I said in a voice exposing too much of my fear.

"Needed to confirm you are who you say you are. With what I am willing to offer, you will forgive my aggression soon enough. Do you see the brands on my body?" He paused for a second, then continued with the same calm emotionless voice. "Each one represents one exceptionally challenging target I killed. Help me and I shall add a new brand to mark your death." He said, putting a smile on his face that only made him look even more intimidating. Is he the person I'm looking for?

"Are you t-the one with the power to kill me?" I asked half skeptical, half hopeful.

"No, but I know where to find them. I am working on dismembering the hierarchy of pain one limb at a time. Soon enough I will reach the head, the person you're looking for is there. Help me with my goal and I will make them kill you when we reach the top."

How convenient for him that our goals are perfectly aligned. For now, I must humor him, he may say I have a choice though it doesn't feel like it. Besides he might be useful yet. "So, what is my role in this partnership?"

"Bait."

"Right, the payment for capturing me would eventually get the attention of some key figures of the hierarchy."

"Indeed. I want to kill them and you don't want to get captured by them, working together is a win-win situation."

I tried to get up however my body won't respond. All at once, I was reconnected to my physical pain. Right, I forgot I was broken. "Do me a favor partner and kill me again," I said in an exaggerated friendly tone.

He nodded, cutting my head again with one swift swing.

As I woke up in a new body again, I took a look in the mirror. I too often forget that I'm Resurrected naked. Opening my closet, I took out an elegant black suit with hints of gold. That will do nicely, at least until it is inevitably destroyed by blood.

"I already know your name, it is only fair that I should tell you that I'm Hunter," said the Killer, this time with a hint of pride in his voice.

I picked up my sword. "Let's go Hunter I need another drink." As we went outside my room I asked "How did you pop out of nowhere inside my room? Some teleportation magic? Maybe anomalous invisibility powers?"

"I can turn invisible if I stand still enough," he answered. "Now it's my turn. Say I bury you in a box, where will you wake up after suffocating to death?" he asked smiling, which made the question seem even more ominous.

"I would resurrect inside the ground suffocating to death over and over until someone digs me out." That was a lie, in truth, I would have resurrected in the closest place devoid enough of solid matter for my body to appear there. If I was lucky it would have been above ground, if I was not it would have been inside a nearby cave or underground lake.

As soon as we got downstairs without any warning, Hunter throws his axe. Moments before the axe hits the tavern owner it is blocked by the head of one of the regulars of the tavern. The regular fell with blood gushing from his head and the whole tavern went silent.

The tavern owner clapped one time. From his hands vibrated a powerful sharp sound and the room froze. I couldn't even blink, completely paralyzed.

"Betraying the hierarchy, trying to hunt me. You really are as simple-minded as you look, Hunter," said the tavern owner while walking slowly toward us. He took a bottle from one of the tavern's patrons, breaking it on one of the tables so now it was sharp. When the owner got close enough Hunter hit him in the chest with one swift axe swing. The owner fell to his knees, blood splashing from his wound and a shocked expression on his face.

"HoOoW-wwW??" asked the owner in pain and terror.

"Your anomalous effect never really worked on me. I just pretended it did in our meetings," explained Hunter coldly. With his left hand, he grabbed the owner by the neck. With his right hand, he pulled his axe out of the owner's chest with a gush of blood and screams from the owner. The owner in one last attempt to gain control, stabbed Hunter several times with the broken bottle. However, Hunter just tightened his grip. With many vicious swings Hunter butchered the owner's face and head. Slowly time started to flow again, the world regained its colors. Hunter released his grip and the owner fell on what's left of his face making a loud Splat sound. Without the effect of the tavern, the scene now seemed a lot more gruesome.

Before the shit hits the fan I ran to Hunter and told him," The big man in the armor and the little girl near him are with me." He turned to me and noded. I unsheathed my sword as the tavern turned to chaos. A slave choked his owner with his own chain. Another slave got stabbed repeatedly by an old man in a cloak. Other people tried to run for the exit, bumping into each other. One drunk clumsily came towards me with a chair in his hands.

Before I got the chance to attack a bottle hit him in the head and he fell on his back. I started going towards Bucket then I felt a stab in my back. Without hesitation, I turned around ready with a swing of my sword. The arm that attacked me got cut off, its previous owner recoiling back in pain. I kicked the girl who attacked me and turned around.

Bucket already had several defeated enemies at his feet. He opened his portal behind him so no one could sneak up on him. Lucy was hiding behind him, safe and sound. It seems no one else was foolish enough to challenge him. I fought my way in their direction and finally reached them.

"You made quite a dangerous friend there," said Bucket, looking at Hunter dismembering a couple of mercenaries with ease.

"He's not my friend, he is my guardian angel," I said sarcastically. As I looked at Hunter I noticed that his wounds from the battle were healed without even leaving a scar. Seems like he is anomalous in more ways than one.

"What's an angel?"

"Superhumans who served the Old God," I answered in a serious tone this time. I remembered reading an old book that claimed that a couple of angels helped humanity kill god. But it was written by priests of the Old God, not the most honest source. I remembered also reading about angels who massacred entire cities single-handedly. Maybe Hunter really is an angel. By now the fighting started to come down, with Hunter finishing off the last ones to offer resistance.

With the excitement of the battle dying down, I started to feel the pain of the thing stuck in my back. I took it out only to find out it was only a fork. I laughed. If only something so simple could actually kill me. The fight was all over by now. So many dead, many others wounded and the air was polluted by the smell of fresh blood. What a mess.

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