“So I can’t pretend like nothing happened, and my wolf had that reaction.” I shrugged. “I have to know this, Michael. I’d rather hear it from you than ask Sasha.”
Michael looked at me hesitantly with his brown eyes, and I looked back at him with determined eyes.
“Okay,” Michael muttered. He put his hand on his hair and grabbed it twice. “She’s a friend of mine.”
Friend? Joanna’s passion for Michael wasn’t like Sasha’s. Her actions were too passionate.
I took a deep breath and asked the question lingering in my mind for a long time.
“An ex-girlfriend?”
Michael looked at me stiffly without nodding or shaking his head.
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I quietly waited for his answer. As he said, if he wanted me to be honest with him, he should also be honest with me. It was mutual. As his mate, I thought I deserved to get an honest answer from Michael.
There was another long silence, and I saw Michael nod slowly.
I stuck my fork into the green pepper on my plate, and for a long time, I couldn’t get it right, and the metal fork and the china screeched against each other.
I imagined this outcome, but I still felt bad seeing Michael admit it.
At the same time, more thoughts came to my mind.
What was Michael and Joanna’s past like? Michael and I met by accident. If I hadn’t gone to the party, and if Michael hadn’t met me, would he have never found out that I was his mate?
Then, after Michael left, I would have been stuck with Robert, and would Michael have been with Joanna?
Were Michael and I really the Moon Goddess’ fated mate? If there were another possibility that could have kept us apart, then there would have been another possibility that would have kept us apart in the future.
I’d always had a sense of confusion about the mate relationship. It seemed solid and fragile, and perhaps the contradiction itself was its charm.
Michael had been hesitant to tell me. He knew that he couldn’t hide it from me. So what was he hesitating about?
What kind of history did he have with Joanna? Did he not want me to interfere with his past? Of course, I had no intention of pursuing his past; I respected him. It was normal.
I was just worried that Michael would compare their intimate past to the present; would he get bored with me at some point and think about his ex-girlfriend?
A million questions popped into my head, but I couldn’t get a word out.
I didn’t want to seem petty or jealous, but I did care that this woman had been in Michael’s life and had clearly left a deep mark.
Michael stood up and put his arms around me from behind, but I didn’t respond.
He put his chin gently on my forehead and said, “She and I are all in the past. You’re the only person in my heart right now.”
Michael’s words didn’t give me much comfort. My heart told me I should trust Michael and let go of his past.
But now I could not do it. Perhaps because of the transformation into a royal Lycan, I now had a strong possessive desire for Michael that I had never had before. I wanted to make Joanna disappear completely, never to appear in front of Michael again.
The sudden image of me cutting Joanna’s throat startled me.
I was not a violent person. On the contrary, I hated all forms of violence and power, which was the source of my initial conflict with Michael.
Even in high school, when I learned that my mate, Robert, marked Alison and had inflicted a fatal blow on my body, I had never thought of killing him. At most, I wanted to end my own life.
But now, something in my blood had changed.
“Why is she here?”
I felt the voice coming out of my throat didn’t even belong to me. It sounded strange.
“I don’t know.” Michael touched my shoulder and said, “My journey is not a secret. Even the royal Lycan family might know. And she always appears and disappears. Sometimes she appears suddenly, and sometimes she leaves suddenly.”
“You mean that you have always been bed partners. You had sex with fate and then are separated by fate. Now she thinks it’s the same, but you don’t want to do it anymore, do you?” I didn’t think I’d be able to say that to Michael, but I felt my heart throb.