“Well, that’s it.” I let out a long sigh of relief after I had told everyone everything.
I felt a lot better just by telling it to another person. It was as if someone else had taken half the burden off my shoulders, not just me.
I thought sharing my relationship problems with my parents would be awkward. Still, my mother was a good listener, not interrupting me or making biased comments about my actions.
It made me feel respected and understood, and it was one of the hardest things I could get from Michael.
“Michael always says it’s not the right time. It’s not the right time. When is the right time for him to do it, then? Do I have to wait until he has marked someone else like Robert did before I’m forced to quit?” I complained.
My mother took my hand and touched the back of my hand to comfort me.
I looked into her eyes. Her expression was calm. She picked up a teacup and looked at me. “Do you think now is the right time?”
“What?” I didn’t understand what my mother meant. “Of course, I want him to mark me. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be in conflict.”
My mother sighed softly. “Have you ever thought about why you want Michael to mark you? If Joanna hadn’t appeared, would you have insisted that Michael mark you?”
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My mother’s question stumped me. Before Kate and I went to the Ancient Wood Pack, I had never thought about wanting Michael to mark me. I wanted to be unrestrained.
I still didn’t want to be entirely under Michael’s control. I was not his captive bird. I should have my blue sky.
But the Ancient Wood Pack experience made me realize Michael’s importance. From the moment I saw Michael at the Ancient Wood Pack, I had consented that Michael could mark me. As long as he asked, I would not refuse his request.
I was silent for a moment before I replied, “I will allow him to mark me.”
“The word you use is ‘allow’,” my mother pointed out.
“Because I love him,” I whispered.
It was precisely because I loved Michael that I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. This desire required too many factors to work together, so I developed more desires. From love came sorrow, and from love came terror. These worries and terrors form a distorted version of myself.
But besides these, did I want to be marked by Michael?
What I had been pursuing was not Michael’s mark but Michael’s love for me.
Because Michael had not been able to satisfy me with a mark, I had more persistent thoughts about being marked.
After I returned from the Ancient Wood Pack, I asked Michael to mark me out of guilt. He did not agree because of my state of health back then. When I was healthier, I did not ask to be marked, either.
It wasn’t until Joanna came along that I felt a sense of crisis and wanted to prove to her. What she said in the kitchen became a catalyst for my actions, and I fought with Michael because I was afraid he would never tempt me into being marked.
All I wanted in the first place was Michael’s love because Joanna was a threat to my being marked.
In fact, Michael had already given it to me.
He had been patient with my transition tantrums and took me on dates, and he wasn’t angry when I ruined everything. The first thing he did every day when he got back was to kiss me, and we would stay together all night.
Instead of punishing me by releasing his beast, he chose to go out in the cold instead of throwing a tantrum at me out of the blue.
All these actions showed that the person he loved was me, but I was greedily asking for more.
“It seems that you have figured it out.” My mother observed my expression and said, “Cecily, my child. Mate is a gift from the Moon Goddess. You have to believe in your mate.
“I can see that you already have feelings for him. Although he left a bad impression on your father and me the last time, I can also see that his eyes are always filled with you. I’m familiar with that look. Your father looked at me the same way when he was younger.”
I looked at my mother in surprise. She hadn’t told me much about the time she and my father were in a relationship.
My mother looked at me and smiled. “Baby, when you’re with Lycan Prince of the royal family, you’ll face greater challenges than an ordinary person.
“But none of these challenges will be a reason for you to be apart. If you don’t get together one day, the only reason is that you don’t love him or he doesn’t love you. Anything else you should face together.”