When Alex and I first left the house, the sun was so bright I could barely open my eyes. Then, at some point, the sky began to darken.
Black clouds gradually covered the sky. The air became moist, and the pressure became so low that it felt like the whole sky was going to fall on me. It was so heavy I could barely breathe. The wind became violent, and the branches and leaves of the surrounding trees rustled.
I looked at Robert standing in front of me, and all the tension and joy I had felt along the way was gone. My mood was as gloomy as the sky.
I had imagined that Robert would be the one who would be with me for the rest of my life.
He would provide a place for my heart to rest, and I would be happy and at peace. But he destroyed me with his own hands and tore my heart to shreds with his hypocrisy, self-righteousness, and hubris. I had to pick them up piece by piece and sew them myself, but they would never be the same again.
Many nights after learning of his betrayal, I would close my eyes and see Robert’s various faces. He was full of life, he was full of energy, he was full of glory, but most of all, he was cold, he was contemptuous of me, and he was having sex with someone else. No matter the image, it would bring me the same pain.
He was good to me in the illusions, but it was torture in reality. When the illusion tortured me, it almost drove me crazy.
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I couldn’t help but imagine him with that b*tch, again and again. He would bite that b*tch’s neck, and that b*tch would pant under him. My wolf, Mia, became weak in my imagination again and again, and I didn’t want to think about it, but I couldn’t stop. The same scene kept appearing in my mind, affecting my emotions.
In my worst moments, I even thought about ending my life.
I was so close. So close to doing it.
I was already standing on a nearby hill, just below a cliff. I was sitting on the cliff’s edge, feeling the breeze and the gentle moonlight.
I thought that if I jumped, I would be free.
People say that before you die, you will see a slide show, and death will take you back to everything you’ve been through in your life.
Before I took that irrevocable step, I thought of my parents. They loved me so much, and for all the years I was growing up, they gave me everything they had, regardless of what it took. How painful would it be for them for me to leave like that?
Then, I thought of Robert. Why should I die because of a terrible person like Robert? A person like him wasn’t worth it. Would he shed a tear upon my death? Would he feel a little guilty about it?
A person’s death doesn’t bring any punishment to the person they hate, but it can break the heart of the person they love the most.
From the moment I walked down the cliff, I already felt like a new person.
The next day, I told my parents that I had decided to go on a trip and wanted to be a new person.
I promised myself that I would never again think of such a weak method as suicide. If I still couldn’t forget Robert, then I would hate him.
The first part of my journey was to hold on to my hatred for Robert. I swore I would come to him in a new light and make him regret his actions.
I would come to him proudly and confidently. He thought I was a plain, weak, ignorant, unworthy wolf, and I would prove him wrong.
But the further I went, the more I realized that hating Robert became less important.
I didn’t live a better life because of him. I did it for myself. I enjoyed being healthy and energetic and embracing the sunshine of life every day.
But, perhaps this indifferent attitude provoked Robert’s arrogant self-esteem.
For him, I, whom he had once tossed aside like a broken shoe, dared to ignore him. He wouldn’t accept it and would chase me around like a rabid dog chasing food.
For me, the darned truth was that I couldn’t resist being physically attracted to Robert, even though I already hated him to the core. My heart would race when I saw him, and I would find it hard to push him away when he made physical contact with me.
Obviously, the mate vibe we had at the time gave him the wrong impression that I was just playing hard-to-get with him.
The more I rejected him, the more he wouldn’t give up.
Even after I had officially rejected him and chosen to be with Michael, he insisted on coming here.
Did he think he had a chance with me?
In that case, I had to admit; he had an incredible amount of confidence.