Chapter 89: DID YOU GET HURT?

Carrie asked Sarah, "Since you seem to like kids, why not have one?"

Sarah shook her head, "We are not going to have a baby until we have a stable life."

"Why? Does your husband not want one?"

Sarah shook her head again, "No, he wants to have a baby, but I think it's too early." Sarah didn't have the sense of security needed to bring a child into their marriage. She didn't know how long their marriage would last and didn't want to bring a baby into the mix. After all, if they ended up divorced, her baby would have no father. She had experienced this feeling and didn't want her child to grow up without his or her dad.

From her words, Carrie knew that Sarah wasn't confident in her marriage, and asked. "Sarah, tell me what happened between you and your husband. We have known each other for so many years if there really is something you can tell me. Maybe I can give you some advice."

Sarah started to feel more comfortable talking about her real feeling with Carrie and thought she didn't need the truth about her actual living conditions. But she still felt too embarrassed to say anything. After all, it was her issue between her and Charles. So, she was still hesitating to talk.

"Why? Can't you talk? Are you afraid of him?" Carrie enquired with a concerned voice.

Sarah shook her head and replied, "No, I just get a little irritated. Perhaps I overthink, and it seems we are not right for each other."

"Why do you say that?" Carrie insisted.

"I feel very insecure about my future. You know it is difficult for me to trust others; after all, I went through in my childhood. And Charles had his own issues while growing up, and seems to be lacking security, too.

"We got married, but it's hard for us to believe in each other. In the beginning, everything was okay. After all, we loved each other, but our insecurities have become a fatal poison in our relationship after some time. We both can't trust each other and end up hurting one another."

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Carrie noticed her mood had gone down too far, and asked, "What happened recently? Did you get hurt?"

Sarah nodded, "Actually, I was not the only victim. He also got hurt. I don't know how to explain it, it's complicated and a long story."

Thinking for a while, she resumed, "Right, I can stay married with Charles for his father's sake. But the concept of a perfect match is so deep-rooted in his mother's mind, and she is looking down upon my background. She had made much trouble for us even before we got married, but we got married despite her opposition.

"After we got married, she still disagrees and always creates trouble and tries to destroy our relationship, even taking advantage of Charles's old mistresses and his adopted sister to ruin our relationship. I don't know what she did secretly, but we both lost trust in each other after several events. He accused me of engaging in love affairs with other men and framing his sister while I doubted that he was still in love with his adopted sister. We fought and didn't talk to each other for a while."

Carrie held her hand and comforted her. "I thought something serious happened, it was just a fight, right? Newlyweds always face issues in the beginning. You just need time to adapt to each other's character and figure out how to deal with each other in everyday living situations. After a while, you will find that it's easy to fight, it becomes normal. After a while, you will start treating each other differently, with more respect and consideration towards each other's feelings, and all will turn out well."

"No… I don't think so…"

"Yes, I have been down the road too. You don't know how serious we fought at first, even triggering domestic violence. He smashed things, and so did I. We shocked our whole family, and I ran out of my house many times, to a point where I wanted to commit suicide. But he finally found me back and apologized, and we made up again. Everything can be settled. Going through rough patches at times is okay. We are okay now. We earn enough money to bring up our kids, and we fight here and there. Besides, Charles apologized to you, right?"

Sarah was reluctant to admit it, but he did. She nodded slightly and said, "He apologized to me the next day, and I didn't fight with him again. He made his concession and played up to me. If I still make a fuss about it, it would be narrow-minded of me."

"That's right. Your husband comes from a rich family and is used to the feeling of superiority, but he did apologize to you. It shows that he really cares about you. Your marriage didn't end there, and if you can apologize and care about each other, that's all that matters. It would be best if you were considerate. Learn to forgive, and everything will be fine. After a few years, you will look back at it and see that it wasn't such a big deal."

Sarah seemed to be comforted. Carrie seemed reasonable and experienced, but she couldn't get rid of the strange feeling. "Maybe you're right. But I can feel that we lack security. It is hard for us to trust each other, which shows that our marriage is on edge. This is the first time to have such a big fight, and we can forgive each other, but if his mother keeps creating troubles for us, I don't know how many times we can forgive each other.

"Some scars stay in our hearts, and I think it's impossible to go back to being happy like we were before, even after apologizing to each other. I feel so tired when dealing with his mother and sister. I didn't expect his sister to be double-faced, and it is hard to always keep my guard up against her.. Why do I have to complicate my life for a man? Why?" Sarah questioned.

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