Chapter 14: 5.3

The lonely old courtier once shed tears of regret and grievance,

His unfilial offspring would feel sad because of their ignorance.

The boundless waves might remind him of the life in exile.[1]

It was nighttime and Kouzhu was serving Dingquan in the warm pavilion. While helping Dingquan to loosen his hair, she said softly as she combed him carefully, “I asked her again today, but she still said the same thing.” 

Seeing Dingquan’s sullen expression, as if he wasn’t paying attention, she lowered her head to his ear and asked, “Your Highness?” 

Dingquan hmm-ed, feeling bored inside. He looked at her in the mirror and saw her snow-white tender arm wrapped around his raven hair. The black appeared blacker and the white whiter. It was indescribably charming and enchanting. He couldn’t help reaching out to touch her arm. 

Kouzhu giggled, wrapped her arms around his neck, and pressed her face against his hair. He felt so loved, yet he still had nothing to say, so she instead called in a low voice, “Your Highness.”

When he decided to enter the palace again, the Double Third Festival[2] had passed. In the capital roads, his one-horse shay swept past the willows and the scintillating peach blossoms. The new spring colours were already here. 

The new minister of rites, He Daoran, had long received the imperial edict to assume the office of the East Chamberlain. An imperial decree was issued at the same time as the imperial edict, advising the crown prince to regard cultivating virtue as of utmost importance, to rectify oneself, and begin anew. It was customary for the country and the dynasty to use the Book of Rites as well as the East Chamberlain to benefit both the family and the country. 

As he was paying a visit to the emperor in Qingyuan Hall, the emperor glanced at Dingquan kneeling below, and said, “I have read your memorial, and I only hope that what you think in your heart is like what is written on it.” 

Dingquan answered in a low voice, “Yes.” He spoke no more. 

Seeing him motionless for a long time, the emperor felt his temper rise again. “What?” 

But Dingquan just turned his face away, and quietly pulled his sleeve to wipe the corner of his eyes.

The emperor just then realised that there were tears on his face, which he had never seen before. He was slightly surprised, “Did I say something wrong to you?” 

Dingquan covered behind his sleeves and wept, but refused to answer. 

The emperor also just let him weep. After a long time, he heard him say choked up in sobs, “A son lacks virtue, his mother died early, and now he is worried about leaving his father and losing his father’s love. My rebellious words back then at the pavilion were really embarrassing. I said that out of anxiety. Dad, please be understanding and forgive me.” His voice was originally limpid and bright, but at the moment he was crying and complaining, his voice was clear and crisp like jade knocking on ice, showing his true emotions. 

The emperor seemed rather moved by hearing this. He personally went to help him up. Dingquan took two steps on his knees, and immediately hugged the emperor’s legs. He buried his head in them and sobbed incessantly. 

The emperor couldn’t bear him seeing like this. He stretched out his hand and patted him on the shoulder, saying, “I’m also responsible for it, so after some thought, I appointed a new teacher for you. He Daoran is a great scholar, he will do a better job aiding you — I hope you are not mad at me.” 

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Dingquan cried, “Thank you Dad for your kindness. If Dad thinks so, I’m willing to even die without a burial place.” 

The emperor pulled him up and comforted him with some kind words. Only then did Dingquan’s tears slowly stop, and he apologised, “I lost my manners.” 

Just then, Wang Shen came up and took Dingquan down to wash his face and take care of his appearance. 

Dingquan came back to salute the emperor and asked for a decree, “Before leaving the palace, I still wish to go to the Inner Palace to pay my respects.” 

The emperor acceded and watched him go out.

Dingquan resigned from the Inner Palace after lunch. He walked out of the palace gate and stepped on the one-horse shay. He glanced at the dragons representing wealth on both sides of the road and lowered the curtain. He straightened the guan on his head, and coldly ordered, “Go back to the West Mansion.”

At night when the emperor was staying in the Inner Palace, and the empress herself was taking off his outer robe as they chatted and laughed, “The crown prince visited me today, and talked a lot more than usual. He begged me to admonish Your Majesty to stop worrying.” 

The emperor sneered, “He also cried for a long while at my place today.” 

The empress thought about it, then carefully advised, “The crown prince is still young, so Your Majesty can just teach him a lesson. He is a motherless child so he worries a whole lot more than others. If Your Majesty treats him like this, he will feel sad, and wouldn’t that make him overly sensitive?” 

The emperor snorted, “Him? Sad? He was raised by me, do I not know what he’s thinking?” 

The empress wondered, “What do you mean, Your Majesty?” 

Suddenly, the emperor swung his hand and entered the courtroom. From a distance, his words could be heard, “He’s up to no good, that wretch!”[3]

Outside the hall, the moon reached midheaven. The moonlight looked like silver on white silk. The east wind blew through the night, but throughout the whole palace, everything was still as cool as water.

 

TN Notes

↲1	From Northern and Southern Dynasty, Jiang Yan’s The Ode to Resentment (恨赋).
↲2	A festival celebrated on the third day of the third month to ward off evil spirits and natural disasters.
↲3	其心可诛 means having a sinister/malevolent heart, his heart is worth killing (more of a lit meaning). It could also be translated as “His heart be damned”.

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