Chapter 81: 80. Dreamed

I found myself standing in the darkness atop a rocky windswept hill.

There was just the tiniest crescent of the waning moon in the sky, which didn't offer much in the way of illumination. Most of the light came from the stars, and from the pixies that were flitting around the perimeter of the flattened hilltop.

Despite the darkness it only took a moment for me to recognize the place.

I was back at Duma Dé. I could even make out the remains of two men not far from where I stood. Men who had worked for Eileen Ceallaigh, and who had been killed by her magic after her spells failed to destroy me.

I was fairly certain this was a dream, for a couple reasons. First off, Duma Dé was some forty leagues away from castle Brádaigh and I knew the teleport spell wasn't usable over that range. And second, I'd been naked when I went to bed but now I was fully dressed.

That and the fact that the outfit I was wearing was clothes I'd left back on Earth. It was my favourite dark grey leggings, an oversized pink top, and a pair of running shoes.

The third clue that fit firmly in the dream category was the wind. I could hear it, and I could see it pulling at the small weeds and tufts of grass, but I couldn't feel it. It wasn't blowing across my skin, or tugging at my clothes or hair. I didn't feel cold or even cool, I was comfortable.

On the other hand, this seemed way more real and vivid than any dream I'd experienced before, and I was after all on a magical world inhabited by magical beings. So even if I was pretty sure it was a dream, I wasn't entirely positive.

I glanced around, but I appeared to be alone here. I tried to avoid looking at the two bodies, I hated that reminder. It also troubled me that they'd been left here, that neither Eileen or her men had bothered to come up and give them some kind of proper burial.

The one guy was mostly still intact, though after three years there wasn't much left but bones inside his chain and plate armour. All that was left of the other one was some bleached scraps of bone and twisted pieces of metal.

I didn't want to be disrespectful and just turn my back on them though, so I said a quiet prayer for their souls, apologized for the part I played in their deaths, and wished that they might find peace.

As soon as I finished, a woman's voice behind me said "Hello Tegan."

I jumped and spun around.

My eyes were wide and my heart was pounding as I found myself standing before two women, both a couple paces away from me. I'd never seen them before, not even pictures, but as soon as I laid eyes on them I knew who they were.

On the left was an older woman. Elderly even. She looked like a grandmother. In human terms she'd have been about eighty. In fae terms she was somewhere at or beyond twelve-hundred. She would have stood tall in her youth, probably as tall as Kelly and Keira, but now her back was hunched slightly with age. Even so she stood several inches taller than myself. Her hair was thin and mostly silver though it held a faint memory of violet, faded to more of a pale lavender tone. It hung down to her shoulders, and seemed as unaffected by the wind as I was.

Her eyes were still bright and sharp, and unmistakably aqua blue. And despite her age she was dressed in what looked like travel wear, or perhaps she was dressed for combat. Her dark leather jacket had metal bands riveted to it, placed along her arms and over the vulnerable spots on her torso. She also wore a belt, from which hung both a sword and a dagger.

The woman on the right was younger. She looked perhaps fifty-five to human eyes, but I knew she was a little over nine hundred. She was shorter than her mother by a couple inches, and stood some two or three inches taller than myself. Her hair was cut short, and still held its violet colour, albeit slightly faded. She too had bright aqua-blue eyes.

She was dressed in an outfit that reminded me of captain Siobhan, with black boots and trousers, and a military-style jacket in the Brádaigh livery. Her jacket lacked any rank or insignia however. Like the older woman, she too wore a belt equipped with sword and dagger.

Beyond the hair and eyes, the family resemblance was there in the two women. I could see my mother's nose, cheeks, and chin reflected in both of them.

As I looked back and forth between them, I figured this was probably the clincher for my 'this is a dream' theory. After all, both my grandmother and great-grandmother died before I was born, so it seemed highly unlikely they were actually standing before me ontop of Duma Dé.

Dream or not, I was still nervous. I did my best to hide it though. I braced myself then greeted them.

"Lady Taralynn, Lady Aisling. I'm honoured. I uh, didn't expect to ever meet you two."

Both smiled slightly and my grandmother replied "It is nice to finally meet you as well, Tegan." Her voice was strong, but there was also a warmth to it. Despite my unease about the whole situation, I got the feeling I had nothing to fear from her.

After that we all kind of stood there for a few moments in awkward silence. Eventually I figured they were waiting for me to initiate the conversation.

"Why am I here? Why are you two here?"

Taralynn replied, "It's been nearly three years since you last stood on this spot. Before the Gods and Goddesses, before friend and foe, you declared yourself to be my great-granddaughter, Tegan Vale of Clann Brádaigh. In a way, this is where your journey truly began."

Her voice was thin with age. Like Aisling though, there was still authority, still a hardness in her voice to match the sharpness in her eyes. She might have looked like a grandmother, but she was definitely the Taralynn of legend.

I thought about her words for a moment then asked, "Is this also where my journey ends? Is that why I'm here now?"

Aisling smiled, "No Tegan. You're here because you are at a crossroads. You face many choices, many paths lay open to you."

"Your mother is right that King Cathal's interest in you will only grow," Taralynn stated. "He was already curious. Once he reads Colm Mac Cionaoith's report, he will have plans for you."

"King Cathal has a son, whom the king will want you to wed," Aisling added. "That would elevate Clann Brádaigh well beyond anything either my mother or myself could have ever hoped to achieve."

Taralynn fixed her eyes on mine as she said "And it would mean that one day Tegan, you would be queen of all the realm."

I didn't bother to hide my scowl. "I'll say this right here atop Duma Dé, before the Gods and Goddesses, and to my ancestors faces."

My voice was hard and my tone firm as I stated loudly, "I will not. Marry. A man!"

Before either could respond I added, "Even if the king offered me his daughter instead, I'd decline. I don't want to be a queen. Right now I'm not even sure I want to be a countess. Honestly I'd like for Maeve to live a very long, very happy life, and she can keep the job as long as she wants it."

My eyes flicked back and forth between the two older women. I was ready for the anger, ready to be berated, ready for the condescending comments. I wasn't prepared for the calm looks on their faces or the faint smiles on their lips.

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Instead of arguing or trying to enlighten me on the error of my ways, Aisling simply asked "What then do you want?"

"What ambitions do you have?" Taralynn asked.

I took a deep breath then sighed. "I want people to be happy. I want peace. I want Maeve and Connor to be reunited, and let that be the last of the strife and hardship the two of them must endure. Maybe they'll even have another child or two, if they wish it."

I continued, "I want my human parents to both find peace and happiness in their own endeavours. I don't yet know what my human mom wants, but once she tells me I'll do everything I can to help her achieve it. I already know what my dad wants, and I've sworn to help her get it. And I want Kelly and Keira to both be safe from their family once and for all."

I kept going, "I don't want anyone else to die needlessly because some rich old man has ambitions. Or because some greedy mage wants to further line his pockets."

And finally I wrapped it up. "And I guess for myself? I want some peace and quiet. I want to be able to relax and enjoy my life, my home, my land, and my two girlfriends. I want to continue learning to be a Brádaigh for when the time comes that I have to take my mother's place, but I want to do that at my own pace and on my own terms."

My two ancestors exchanged a glance, then Aisling observed "You've been given a tremendous gift Tegan. You're barely twenty-six years old and already your command of magic rivals what my mother was capable of at her peak."

"You could rule the world. You could rule both worlds," Taralynn stated. "If you wished Tegan, you could see Otherworld and Earth both kneel before you."

I sighed again. "I don't want to rule any worlds. This power is a curse as much as it's a gift, because it means I'm continually being called upon to use it. People keep trying to use me, manipulate me, or just plain kill me. People want to control my life and shape my destiny because of it. And while I appreciate that I can use the gift to help people, I'd give it all up if doing so would guarantee peace and happiness for everyone."

After a moment I added, "Uh, I'd give it up after I helped my human parents that is. I need the magic to deliver what I've promised them."

Taralynn asked "Tegan have you ever wondered why you received my gift? Why it came to you, rather than my daughter or granddaughter?"

I shrugged, "I thought it was just random luck."

Taralynn shook her head. "It's because I knew you could be trusted with it. When the gift was mine I used it to bring peace to the Southern Marches, but that peace came at a great cost. I did not wish to see that repeated. My daughter was too ambitious, and her child hasn't the will or presence of mind. But you Tegan? You are kind, caring, and generous. You can be hard when it is necessary, when the circumstances demand it. Yet you do not take those actions lightly. And you feel remorse, and compassion for your enemies."

"You are a child of two worlds Tegan," Aisling stated. "You've embraced both Earth and Otherworld. Where most changelings would turn their back on one or the other, and some even reject both, you carry both in your heart."

Taralynn smiled at me. "Some say rather than being born with a soul, we must earn it. I would say you've earned two. You have a human soul, and a fae soul. You honour and respect both worlds. That is why you have my gift, and that is why you will one day outshine me."

Aisling added, "Not long ago you asked the earth, the Gods, and my mother for forgiveness."

"And Tegan, you are forgiven." Taralynn concluded.

I felt a wave of emotions wash over me. I was confused, and a bit overwhelmed. I had no idea what to make of half the stuff they were saying. But some things were suddenly clear to me.

Moving to Otherworld was never the answer. I thought that would let me be who I was meant to be but that wasn't what I wanted at all. Not if I'd be forced into marriage with a man, or forced to play fae politics, or forced to do any of the other distasteful or immoral things I'd done here at other people's behest.

Now I knew I didn't have to be a great leader or a great general or even a queen just because I could, or because other people wished and expected it. In fact it was the opposite. Taralynn gave me her gift specifically because I wouldn't use it that way. She gave me this power because she knew I'd use it responsibly, when I used it at all.

And I realized, having a peaceful quiet life, or even playing housewife to Kelly and Keira didn't make me a failure if that was what I actually wanted to do.

More importantly, I didn't need to figure it all out right now. I probably had another thousand years ahead of me, I could afford to take a couple decades to figure things out and find my own path.

I found myself rubbing some tears from my eyes as I looked back and forth between them again. I still had about a million questions but in the end I only asked them one.

"What should I do now?"

Taralynn gave me another warm, peaceful smile and replied "Follow your heart."

Suddenly I could feel the wind. It was pulling at my oversized pink top and tugging at my hair. Both Taralynn and Aisling seemed to vanish in the strong breeze as though they'd been made of smoke or mist.

There was another strong tug and I turned, and found myself sitting up in bed.

The sun had just broken over the horizon and the early morning sunlight shone like gold outside the windows. Kelly and Keira were still sound asleep to either side of me, they appeared quiet and peaceful as I looked down at them.

Ever since my spell on Samhain they were completely physically identical, but I could finally tell them apart again.

I could see their auras.

Kelly's had just a touch more purple in it, while Keira's was a slightly deeper red. And between them where their two auras were connected, the colour was gold like the light outside our windows.

As I continued to look at them I whispered to myself, "Follow my heart..."

And finally I knew what to do. Keira was right, Lord Aengus could wait.

We would deal with Keenan first.

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