Chapter 11: Too Much Darkness for my Tastes.

Disappointment.

That was the most intense feeling I had as memories of my past rushed before me.

My first audition. I did my best and executed everything I learned from my instructors. The scouts seemed to have liked me, even giving me praises for my singing. They told me I could have done better with my dance choreography, but that I was a natural when it came to my vocals.

I was slightly annoyed at myself, but I knew I never was the best dancer. Still, I had hope. I was excited to hear them accept me as a trainee. I was too hasty. Far too hasty. Too naive to believe it was a done deal.

I was rejected. When I asked the judges what happened, they only told me that the other contestants were better. “But, how?!” I shouted, only for them to explain that they moved more gracefully and their voices had an impact. They could see the hard work they put into their training.

Then, what did I do all that time?

“It’s ok to cry, mein Schatz. Failure is all part of becoming the best, so learn from the ones who were better and become better yourself.”

“Y- huek! Y-Yes, Papa.” I cried too much that day, but little did I know this was just one of many.

I mean, I totally trusted my Papa. He was a veteran in the music industry, so he should have known. Of course, there were more auditions. If Papa believed in me, then I must become an idol!

Sadness

Three more auditions. Three more rejections.

I was losing trust in myself. What was I doing wrong? I was working hard, listening to everything my instructors and mentor told me to do. I took their criticism, and turned it into improvements. I did everything to make my dream come true.

But, once again, all I could see was other girls getting accepted. They would go and join the industry. Becoming another idol in the future and making their dream come true. Meanwhile, I would stay in my room, hugging my plushies and cry into the night.

“Oh, how about we write a song together, honey? Traditional singers write their own songs, so let’s do it together!”

“That might work, Mama! I’ll sit on the piano!”

Playing music with my parents. I felt happy whenever we could do it.

… But, all the other contestants also performed covers of songs. The older I got, the more the judges expected from you. All I did was follow the formalities. Would an original song really be the deciding factor?

Still, I learned how to write my first few songs. Learning how to structure the verses while maintaining a good rhythm was hard at first. Singing helped songwriting, but I neglected school for my idol training. I had to study.

However, I also needed to plan my own choreography. I was planning on becoming a pop idol. I wasn't that good with dancing, but I was decent enough to think of something. Still, my goal was to impress through my voice and visual. My looks.

Frustration… All I felt was frustration!

Nein. Nein. Nein.

Why…WHY?!

“Mama, why?! Why can’t I do it?!” I remembered myself crying again. The frustration was making it so hard to concentrate. Where was I and why was I remembering all of it now?

It’s hurted so much.

“I-It’s ok, honey. It’s ok, you’re doing well. Mama and Papa will always be proud of your effort.”

“You are doing your best to make your dream come true. That is enough to make us proud, mein Schatz. We believe in you.”

“But…b-but, I’m not good…”

“Hush my little baby…It will be alright.”

Mama. Papa. I failed them. I wanted to apologize to them so much, but I couldn’t through all my tears. They had to have been worried! I couldn’t watch them be so sad. I didn’t want them to believe I was a failure!

That’s why… I was alright.

There was always a next time. I just had to get better. Blood or sweat, it didn’t matter. My body could break for what I cared.

“Are you alright, honey?”

“Yup, I am, Mama. I just have to get better next time. Anyways, how about we cook something good for Papa tonight?”

… I could remember all the pain. All the anguish I felt from one failure to the next. So why?

Why were these memories so hazy? Why couldn’t I see my Mama’s face? Was she sad? Angry? Disappointed? WWhat did she feel back then?

Why couldn’t I remember?

“Honey, are you sad?”

“What? Nein! Look at this smile, Mama. Does this look like something I could do if I were sad about it? Another failure won’t disturb me anymore.”

I wanted to cry. I just wanted to let the floodgates out. My chest felt heavier and heavier every time I lied to them.

After all, I swore to not cry anymore.

Mama and Papa. They worried about me too much. Crying made them sad. Crying reminded me of how I stubbornly kept on this path despite realizing the suffering I was causing them. They loved me. I loved them.

That’s why crying only reminded me of how much of a failure I was.

Mama and Papa were successful musicians. I was born with a silver spoon ‘cause they were talented, awesome, and cool enough to make it work. We lived a happy life since they managed to impress the correct people and got the right position to become successful. Good enough to become famous. Good enough… to make their dream come true.

… So, what have I achieved?

And the darkness consumed me.

…

Urgh…

Dazed. Groggy. Huuuuungry.

That dream… why did I have to have that fucking dream?

Talk about a terrible morning. Well, I supposed it was morning, but it could also be nighttime. Everything was pitch black for me.

How long did I sleep?

Looking around, I wondered where the light switch was, only to remember I had magic.

Light.

[Light] was a pretty disappointing level five [Holy Magic] that only created a small, floating light ball. Compared to [Shine], it couldn’t do any damage outside of maybe blinding somebody, but it also couldn’t act as a flashbang like its counterpart. It was entirely useless to me, but at the very least, it could float around like a firefly while I moved around.

Once the small light illuminated my surroundings, I noticed from the brown and gray around me that I was inside a cave. Realizing this, I began to remember everything that happened to me before I landed in this place.

The kobols, the garms, and then my evolution in hopes it could prevent my Health from dropping to zero. From the looks of it, I guess I was right on the mark. However, thinking about it more, was pretty sure I didn’t give a decisive answer to System voice. As such, how did I evolve?

But, if I had survived, then I should have evolved! I also remembered [Mana Stress] preventing me from using magic, but look at the [Light] I cast. I also couldn’t feel the pain in my body and I could even stand up at this point.

I should be grateful for even deciding on an evolution at all, but choosing something while not clear-headed sounded like a recipe for disaster. Those garms really showed me how weak I still was. I was still not even close to the top of the food chain yet, but, honestly, who could have guessed some boss type monsters from appearing in a newbie area. A random D rank when all I fought up until then were G or F rank.

It was pure misfortune I had to meet them, but I guess I still had some luck on my side by surviving that encounter. I remembered the second garm suddenly attacking the first garm, helping me survive, but why did it do that?

At the same time, why did I care? I couldn’t understand them. It was due to my inability to speak with others that those kobolds thought I was a threat. Really, the sooner I became a human again, the better. That night reinforced my need to find a way to communicate with others.

Regardless, it wasn’t good to believe I could have charisma-ed my way out of those situations. At the end of the day, all I could rely on was my own strength. My levels, my stats, and my choice of evolution. Murphy’s Law knew how to spit into your face, and with how bad my luck has been, having a plan B was paramount.

Whatever, let’s first check my evolution. What did I evolve into?Profile.

Profile:

Name: *

Level: 0

Race:

Young Spark Fire Dragon

Age: 1 Month

Status:

Health: 245/245(+65) Mana: 670/687(+137)

Strength: 155 (+40) Intelligence: 141(+54)

Vitality: 106 (+37) Wisdom: 111 (+28)

Agility: 303 (+58) Stamina: 163/163(+49)

Effects: [Starvation (Minor)]

Skill Points: 1700 (+50)

Unique Skill:

[Spark Fire Dragon Lv. 1] (New)

Skill:

Magic skills and related:

[Mana Control Lv. 4] [Holy Magic Lv. 6] [Fire Magic Lv. 3]

[Earth Magic Lv. 3] [Space-Time Magic Lv. 2]

[Primal Magics]

Physical skills and related:

[Mana Strike Lv. 3]

[Enhanced Claws Lv. 4] (+1) [Enhanced Fangs Lv. 3] (+1)

Senses and movement skills:

[Stealth Lv. 5] [Prediction Lv. 1]

[Enhanced Enemy Sense Lv. 7] (+1) [Enhanced Olfactory Sense Lv. 1]

[Night Vision Lv. 1] (New)

[Evasion Lv. 3] [Acrobatic Lv. 1] (New)

Resistances:

[Physical Resistance Lv. 4] (+1) [Pain Resistance Lv. 4] (+1)

[Holy Resistance Lv. 3] [Fire Resistance Lv. 3]

[Earth Resistance Lv. 3] [Wind Resistance Lv. 1]

Stat growths and related:

[Enhanced Health Growth Lv. 2] (+1)

[Enhanced Mana Growth Lv. 3] (+1)

[Enhanced Strength Growth Lv. 2] (+1)

[Enhanced Intelligence Growth Lv. 3] (+1)

[Enhanced Vitality Growth Lv. 1] (New)

[Enhanced Wisdom Growth Lv. 1]

[Enhanced Agility Growth Lv. 3] (+1)

[Enhanced Stamina Growth Lv. 1]

Others:

[Identify Lv. 6] (+2) [Cooking Lv. 5] [Dismantle Lv. 4]

[Parallel Thoughts Lv. 1] (New)

Ability

Spark Fire Dragon

[Flame Blast]

Spell List:

Holy spells:

[Minor Heal] [Cure] [Modest Heal] [Smite] [Light] [Holy Protection]

Fire spells:

[Fire] [Firebolt] [Imbue Fire]

Earth spells:

[Earth Wall] [Rock Blast] [Earth Strike]

Space-Time Spells:

[Haste] [Storage Magic]

Other spells:

[Shine]

Titles

[The Light] [Bearer of Kargryxmor’s Blood] [Otherworldly Reincarnator]

… Hmm?

Was I delirious, or when the hell did I get a [Young Spark Fire Dragon] option? I was sure I had [Young Earth Dragon], [Young Fire Dragon], and [Young Holy Dragon] as my choice… but maybe the fact I was too tired affected my mind, after all. I was actually getting another headache ‘cause of my confusion.

Urgh, is this what a hangover feels like? [Arcane Corruption] and [Mana Stress]. Never. Again.

You are reading story A Dragon Idol's Reincarnation Tale at novel35.com

I told myself to manage my mana better in the future only to never gets those crippling status ailments ever again. Sadly, I didn’t appraise them and it seemed I couldn’t [Identify] them now since I didn’t have them. Which was sad, since I wanted to know how I got [Arcane Corruption]. With how it drained my Health, I needed to know.

Nevertheless, I was more interested with my current status right now.

I noticed I had [Night Vision] in my stats. While System Voice did push me to buy the skills, kinda, I do have to admit it might become useful now that I was inside this cave. It was cheap and I bought it impulsively since I didn’t like the darkness. I should level it up later whenever I could. It was a good skill for ambushing during nights.

Regarding my stats, all of them were over 100 now and my mana was almost there to a 1000. My plan to become a mage was really paying off with my insane capacity, but I could also get more. There was always more mana to get, especially since I was a dragon!

In general, this power-up seemed amazing. [Young Spark Fire Dragon] had to be some super hidden choice or something. Did I do something to earn this? Hold on, I should be a fire dragon, but what exactly was “Spark fire?”

Identify.

Young Spark Fire Dragon: An immature, mutant fire dragon that specializes in explosive fire attacks. Focusing on attack and speed enables it to take down higher ranked monsters due to its high offensive focused status balance. Defensive growths are mediocre to compensate. Rank E

Mutant? I don’t think a school for gifted kids is around in the area.

In any case, my evolution sounded like a glass cannon. High damage, but I couldn’t take them too well from enemies. Curiously, how did I look exactly now?

Using the light from my [Light] spell, I checked myself out. Looking at myself, I was now a dragon about the size of a medium sized dog. Color, shape and form were exactly the same from the last evolution.

That didn’t mean I had no changes at all. Aside from my size, the most prominent alterations would be my scales and feet.

My scales felt durable but smooth before evolving, but after running my claws over them now, they felt pretty rough and uneven. Scutes, similar to the ones from crocodiles, were growing all over my body. You could say they were protective armor, which I kinda expected a dragon to have, to be honest.

My feet, on the other hand, were now covered in something like a shell or carapace. Even my claws evolved into a more sickle-like form, that I would describe as sharp, tough, and edgy like a pre-teen growing up with anime.

Strangely enough, whenever I pushed my claws together, it almost felt like I was scratching stone. They even heated up after I continued rubbing them. Something told me claw maintenance would become an issue.

The last change was inside my mouth. My fangs have grown noticeably longer, considering I could see them protruding, and seemed “fuller,” in a way. You could say my mouth felt heavier. With these claws and fangs, my slashing and biting options should deal more damage, but I kinda wished I also got some spikes or bone plates. You know, to increase my coolness factor a bit.

Ehhh, whatever. Still glad with this new body.

While I did want to look at myself in a mirror or a puddle’s reflection, I had to be satisfied with just this for now. Satisfied looking at my body, I turned my attention back to my profile. Considering I was called a “mutant” version of a fire dragon, I did wonder what that really meant. What differentiated me from a fire dragon and how the hell did I get this option?

Stats are really good, though.

According to the description, Strength and Agility sounded like they were this form’s main stats, although I could imagine Intelligence and Mana also received a growth boost. On the other hand, Vitality and Wisdom probably took a hit, since they counted as defensive stats. Then again, Wisdom also increased my mana regeneration, so who knows.

In other words, this evolution seemed perfect for an underdog like me. It meant I wouldn’t get outflanked by fast foes like those garms if I continued leveling up. I also had the firepower to finally fight back, instead of relying on [Shine] to blind them. Just imagining blasting everything with oppressive spells and dragon fire sounded soooooo exciting~

In any case, there was a lot to digest. And in my case, it mostly revolved around my [Identify] leveling up twice.

Spark Fire Dragon: A skill that unleashes the power of the Spark Fire Dragon. Compared to a normal Fire Dragon; the abilities of a Spark Fire Dragon are focused around high powered but mana intensive fire breaths

Spark Fire Dragon breakpoint: Level 3 breakthrough requirement: Expend a certain amount of stamina and mana by using [Spark Fire Dragon] abilities. Next Level Upgrade Cost: 50 SP

Leveling up skills with SP.

… Damn, am I an idiot.

Proficiency requirement fulfilled. [Spark Fire Dragon Lv. 1] evolved into [Spark Fire Dragon Lv. 2]. 1650 SP remaining

Ability gained: [Spark Flames]

So, from the looks of it, I really was an idiot. Or, at the very least, forgetful, but I personally believed I was dumb for not figuring out something this simple. Leveling up skill. Leveling up skills! How could I have not figured that out until now?!

It only took [Identify] growing in power twice for me to reveal another secret of the SP shop. And those were some pretty important features.

Upgrade Cost: The cost needed to level up a skill

Breakpoint: The power “Wall” that occurs at specific levels of a skill, depending on it’s tier of T1, T2, or T3. This breakpoint cannot be overcome without fulfilling the requirement or through a certain action

Break Requirement: The requirement needed to overcome the breakpoint

A [Skill Upgrade System] focused around expending skill points to level up existing skill. Now, if we went back to my unique skill I received from evolving…

Unique Skill: Rare or powerful skills not commonly found

Spark Fire Dragon: A skill that unleashes the power of the Spark Fire Dragon. Compared to a normal Fire Dragon; the abilities of a Spark Fire Dragon are focused around high powered but mana intensive fire breaths

Spark Fire Dragon breakpoint: Level 3. Break Requirement: Expend a certain amount of stamina and mana by using [Spark Fire Dragon] abilities. Next Level Upgrade Cost: 50 SP

And tried to upgrade it.

Ja.

Do you wish to upgrade [Spark Fire Dragon Lv. 2] for 50 SP?

Ja.

Proficiency requirement fulfilled. [Spark Fire Dragon Lv. 2] evolved into [Spark Fire Dragon Lv. 3]. 1600 SP remaining

Ability gained: [Spark Flames]

“Holy crap” was what I thought when I tried it for the first time. You thought my hidden evolution choice was OP?

Think again!

Wasn’t it more obvious to call the ability to upgrade skills, the foundation of a quality profile, absolutely overpowered? Considering this “breakpoint requirement” stuff, it now made sense why some of my skills wouldn’t grow higher after reaching level three.

The explanation for this was that every skill has a [Breakpoint] and [Breakpoint Requirement] preventing you from advancing. However, by using a few SP, you could overcome this without any problems, especially convenient considering all of these requirements were tedious.

I looked over all my skills and what their requirements were and just thought “OMG, this is gonna take forever.” The [Skill Upgrade System] was literally a time saver.

In addition, the description of the requirements were all so vague. Take [Spark Fire Dragon] for an example. Why didn’t it tell me the exact amount of Mana and Stamina I had to expend using its abilities to break through? It seemed like whoever designed this system wanted people to be confused about it.

Or, if I were bit more optimistic, maybe the designer thought it was better to not think of the numbers and just do it. After all, the requirements revolved around using the skills. The more often you used them, the faster you would increase them, similar to how [Enhanced Enemy Sense] broke through while that garm was stalking me.

Thinking about it logically, it was a trade-off. Do I think long-term or short-term? If I weren’t in such a dire situation like being trapped in this cave inside a murderous forest, I probably would choose the long-term option and not opt to upgrade my skills, but I couldn’t afford it. Every advantage was important. SP was meant to be spent to become stronger.

Time was more important to me right now, and I didn’t have the time to waste it on chores.

Do you wish to upgrade [Fire Magic Lv. 3] for 100 SP?

Ja~

Proficiency requirement fulfilled. [Fire Magic Lv. 3] evolved into [Fire Magic Lv. 4]. 1500 SP remaining

Magic gained: [Fire Ball]

By paying one level worth of SP, I avoided using up more of my time practicing this skill.

Of course, I wasn’t about to waste all my SP to bring this skill to ten or whatever. Yes, I couldn’t wait to get the higher leveled spells, but I also didn’t think using it all up impulsively was smart. At the end of the day, I didn’t want to do the breakpoint requirements. That was it.

Practice makes perfect. Outside of leveling and evolving, the only other ways I knew how to increase my mana capacity was through expending mana, or as I believed, leveling up [Enhanced Mana Growth]. Still, practicing magic casting probably would bring me further in life than using this cheat of a system all the time.

And, yes, I did believe this shit was a cheat. Just think about the exclusivity of this system. What was needed to upgrade skills? Skill Points. How do you get the [Skill Upgrade System] to appear in your Profile?

With [Otherworldly Reincarnator].

Otherworldly Reincarnator

A title granted to a soul who has reincarnated with memories from its previous life. Enables the Skill Point function

Skill points weren’t freely available and from looking at the profiles of all the monsters I met up until now, I could confirm I was the only one with this system. I had such a huge advantage and I almost died thrice at this point. I wanted to call myself a failure, but more self-deprecation at this point would just bring me down.

Regardless, due to this revelation, I was seriously pondering on my future usage of my SP. What was more important? Gaining skills or leveling them up?

With this system, I could gain rare and powerful skills and also level them up. The stat growth skills like [Enhanced Intelligence Growth] were future-proof and the more I leveled and evolved, the more they became worth the expenditure. But, at the same time, I risked having no SP savings in case I needed them.

For now, I decided on reserving my SP to bypass those breakpoint requirements. Those were worth my SP, while I prioritized leveling my skills up without SP. This opened up options to buy interesting or skills I needed like [Humanize].

Suddenly, a rumble echoed throughout this cave while I was thinking of my SP. I squinted and looked down to my stomach.

Huuuuuuuungry…

In a way, I was glad I left those kobold bodies behind. However, now, I wish I hadn’t. I felt famished. I was forced to take out the remaining meat, fruits, and berries I had in my storage and began devouring them without looking how much I had. Sadly, it wasn’t enough to get rid of [Starvation (Minor)].

Gosh, I was hungry.

Guess, it’s time to look for food…

‘About time you finally thought of eating, Original Mind.’

Who?!

And that was the day I finally began talking with myself. Solitude really got to me. Who knew I would become crazy this soon.

‘You aren’t going crazy.’

Shut up, let me be dramatic!

A note from AbyssRaven

MC's current appearance is slightly inspired by Glavenus' design from the game franchise "Monster Hunter".

About the breakpoint requirement, it's my idea of having a limiter/balancing mechanic for the general populace of this world. It might seem tedious for MC, cause of her ridiculous mana, but a normal person or monster won't have that crazy amount of mana or practice targets like hers.

You can clearly distinguish the lazy from the hard-working people if you don't have the skill point system to work with.

Just a bit of world-building. Don't mind me~

Edit: Edited to match my current writing style. Jeez, doing all these tables again with every new rewrite is seriously annoying!

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Sunday, January 12, 2020 5:26:33 PM Germany [Member of Zard Skwad]

Bio: Hey there, AbyssRaven here. I'm just an avid Light Novel and Fantasy story reader who randomly thought of a story and began writing about it.

I eventually found out that I've been spending a bit too much time with building, planning, and researching for the story, that I've decided to just share it with others.

Writing is mostly a hobby for me, but I would still love any kind of criticism to improve on it.

I'm also german, so please excuse anything that sounds a bit weird...I wouldn't mind you pointing it out though.

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