Chapter 53: Emotional bliss and embarrassment.

[“Urgh, I’m feeling a bit dizzy,”] I said as I massaged my temples.

I was squatting outside the tent right now after I just finished curing every single wounded in it. I thought it wouldn’t be a problem, after all, there were only ten patients and I’ve delegated most of the work onto my parallel minds.

This definitely doesn’t feel like arcane corruption, so what could it be? touching my head, it felt quite hot, especially around my cheeks.

[“Lady Hestia, that’s why I suggested that you must reserve yourself; It would be an actual problem if your arcane corruption overflows,”] Tasianna said as she poured water in a wooden cup, offering me once it was filled.

[“I appreciate the worry, Tasianna,”] I said with an exasperated sigh, as I had to explain it to her again. [“but using that little amount of mana isn’t worth fussing about. I’ve used far more and the one time I accumulated too much arcane corruption was after an intense fight. I know my limit by feel alone and I haven’t reached it yet.”]

As both of us took care of the wounded lizardmen, Tasianna didn't miss the chance to warn me of arcane corruption, seeing as how many healing spells I was using. I admit I should have probably used [Moderate Heal] once in a while, instead of constantly casting [Major Heal], but I only had to treat ten people, not over a hundred or so.

I really appreciated that she was worrying that much about me, I truly do, but she shouldn't show that much concern, bordering at annoyance. She saw me fight before, and the number of spells that I can use simultaneously. I might not be immune as she was, but I was incredibly resistant to arcane corruption regardless.

Besides, showing that much effort was worth it. Similar to the first one, once the patients realized that their wounds and ailments were healed, they showed genuine happiness and gratitude, crying tears of joy, knowing that they would survive for one more day.

The patients included males and females. The females’ smile sparkled and enraptured my heart with their still cute looking face. While the males had intimidating reptilian heads, the heartwarming sight of their smiles eased my heart, easily forcing the corners of my own mouth to curl up as I witnessed my patients expressing their gratefulness.

Eventually, word came out that the people in the tent started to recover and their relatives and friends, or more appropriately, scale-kins crowded the already cramped space, crying as they held and hugged their family.

“The young scale over there helped me recover” and “I don’t understand how they did it, but the lasses over there treated everybody’s wounds” was what they said when they were asked how they recovered so fast. Some even went into detail and explained how a “white circle” materialized around their body and that “blinding warm light” suddenly appeared and basked them in a soothing veil that slowly closed up all their wounds and made the fatigue inside them vanish.

As they understood that I was the one responsible for this, most of them started dashing out of the tent, only returning after a few minutes with something edible. As I was helping Apsala take off the patient’s leaf bandages, the thankful lizardmen assembled around me and fervently offered their thank-yous in the form of fish, stacks of herbs, and fruit, shouting their apologies for trying to harm me before and that they were indebted to me for this show of kindness.

Apsala sarcastically explained, “We lizardfolk show our appreciation by sharing our hard-earned food with others, expressing that you have done something that we believe would be worth starving for, priestess of the Light Goddess.”

Reading between the lines, was she saying that this was the last of their food for today? Knowing that, how could I accept this?

However, it seems like humbly rejecting them wasn’t the correct thing to do, as it seems they misunderstood it that they weren’t offering me enough; that I was asking them for more. Despite how aggressive this misunderstanding sounded, they just nodded to each other and went outside once again to bring even more food, making everything even rowdier, as they started thanking me again with even more fervor.

“My scale-kins have acknowledged that your actions deserved an even larger reward,” Apsala translated their actions to me, as the difference in culture made it hard for Tasianna to properly explain it to me. "It is very likely that they won't stop if you don't accept their gratitude, little one.”

Apsala simply smiled and left me to deal with it the overwhelming wave of thanking lizardmen. I obviously couldn’t handle it, divided internally if I should take their food or not.

Managing and taking care of fans was one of the most important duties an idol and popstar had to handle, as they were the lifeblood of an entertainer’s career. I wish I could say that I was prepared for this, but how was I supposed to be if I didn’t even have a single fan in my life on Earth?

Usually, the fans are kept in check and held at a safe distance due to their respect for the idol, or by the staff, so it rarely ever gets to the point where people could fangirl their favorite star to death.

But…I was now in a situation where I really could use some fan managing classes or somebody that could help me get out of here! Tasianna, as I ordered her not to seriously harm them, didn't know how to do it without her magic, quickly panicking in the process.

I was screaming, “Somebody please help me!”, to myself as the sound of the begging and thanking lizardmen wasn’t ending anytime soon.

Fortunately, it seems my pleading was somehow heard as Caszcur began tearing the lizardmen away with the help of the lizardmen guards. It seems Caszcur predicted that I would escalate the situation even further with my badly chosen words, as he ran out and had Aksmias gather all the guards.

Once the loud crowd was pushed outside through sheer brute force, I silently said “thank you, Caszcur” as I resumed tending to the patients.

After the crowd dispersed, I also noticed that the lizardmen surrounding Apsala also went outside. Despite how loud it was, I was still able to overhear what they said to her during this whole ordeal of mine.

Having my parallel minds remember the words, I told I to Tasianna as she was unable to hear it. Translated, I understood that there were some skeptics among the lizardmen. They asked Apsala things like, “You are an alchemist. You must have been the one to heal them, right, scale-kin?” and “Apsala, I heard everything from my egg-sister but that magic she used couldn’t be like that, right?”.

It seems the distrust for [Holy Magic] practitioners was quite serious among the group. Apsala confirmed that I was the one to have saved them, not her medicine, but it was still quite a huge shock for the skeptical lizardmen.

"I hate the followers of the Light Goddess as many from my tribe, however," Apsala expressed as I could remember her slamming her tail on the ground in anger. "the girl, the red-scaled dragonewt, I believe we can trust in her."

The skeptics tried to reason with her and explained what happened in front of the entrance, exaggerating how terrifying I was and that I was about to kill them if Aksmias and the other guards hadn't stopped me.

Apsala called them out, as she heard everything from Caszcur, that they shouldn't have angered me in the first place. That if you were prepared to kill, then you should have been aware that you could be killed yourself; that it was something every lizardman should have been aware of since they survived in the Belzac forest for three months now.

Looking crestfallen, I could remember her continuing defending me, “You’ve seen our now healthy scale-kins, right? Then show your appreciation to her like the others, otherwise, you spit on the happiness and joy that she gave our once wounded.”

Quickly realizing what they were doing, they apologized to her, however, Apsala rejected it, saying, "Show it to the young scale, the girl. Show her your kindness as I believe that she…I will later ask her for help with our problem."

As they heard her say that, the talks ended there, or, at least that’s all I was able to hear from them.

Once they and the rowdier lizardmen left, Apsala, Tasianna, and I went back to cleaning and helping our patients.

Time just went by then, as I silently let the experience just now cleanse my soul. All the rot that polluted my soul from living in this forest, was slowly vanishing due to living and traveling with Saori and Tasianna.

The loneliness of wandering through this scary woods, the terror of abandoning my dream by dying that drove me to get stronger and adapt to my new body, and the conflicting opinions inside me if I should outright let go of my dream or not, kept tearing my sanity away.

Saori, Tasianna, and this crowd of thankful people…this is what I truly missed. They say that humans can’t live without others, that solitude would surely kill their sense of self over time, I can’t help but agree to it wholeheartedly.

I missed being with others, I missed talking with people, I missed sharing my pain and happiness with others. I truly missed it so very much. Was my determination to become an idol in this world an excuse, instead, I yearned to be with others? I…I honestly have no idea at this point…I have no idea what I wanted…what I really wanted.

All I know is that if I hadn’t met Saori and Tasianna, then my sanity would have probably broken sometime after the fight with the garm matriarch. My unease of being so much weaker than her, my concerns that there would be even larger monsters out there, and my own emotions crushing me underneath the fleeting dream of my old life.

I know that ‘cause I still had them. Everything turned out well, now that I had my companions.

Also, seeing all of the crying lizardmen, overjoyed that their lives were just saved, and their thankful friends and family, sincerely offering me something that they absolutely needed for themselves. I think my chest would have burst open from overflowing emotions if Cazcur hadn’t stopped them.

At that moment, I wanted to stop helping Apsala and just jump around, full of vivacity, and dance and sing to release my hyper-emotional state. Instead, I kept all of it inside…although, my mouth wasn't as compliant as I embarrassingly remembered that I sang.

…Ah, which means the reason for my steaming head and my flushed face was that. Tasianna did tell me that I began singing hyperactive songs, filled with vigor and power as I wasn’t able to hold back my volume.

Did I just unload all those anime openings?!

“Everything sounded strange to me but the energy that you showed reenergized me, ridding me of the small amount of fatigue that I had after helping everybody,” Tasianna said, confirming that they were the same anime songs that I would sing under the shower.

…OMG, ahhhhh, nein, nein nein, nein! Ahhhh, I can’t believe that I just dropped all those song covers! Ahhhhhh, how embarrassing, how stupid of me. Dummkopf! I’m a real Dummkopf!

[“Lady Hestia!”] Tasianna suddenly screamed. [“Is your headache getting worse?! Why is your face even redder now?! P-Please, drink! You must drink some water!”]

…Ah ja, I want to crawl under a blanket now…

Finally realizing why I was like this, I repeatedly hit my head with my hands as I reprimanded myself for showing that many emotions, not even restraining myself with calmer songs, in public.

As I hid my face with my arms in a fetal position, I was fully able to feel my boiling face. A non-fire dragon would probably be scalded if they touched me, so I stopped Tasianna from coming any closer, saying that it was simply me being me and that I need a bit of space right now.

“Ey…il kournyli guzha?” somebody just said. (“Hey…is something wrong?”)

"Ahh, Apsala!" noticing the female lizardman, Tasianna resumed her duties as a translator. "Lady Hestia seems to be…uh, contemplating something…otherwise, we are alright."

“Oh, is that so, Tasianna?” Apsala said with a confused voice, moving her face closer to mine. “Rest is good, little one. Don’t think too much about what just happened and just let your mind take a break. You’ve earned it.”

“Is there something that you need?” Tasianna asked.

“Yes,” Apsala confirmed. “The patients are sleeping right now, recovering from their fatigue, so I wanted to talk with you now that you are free, as I said before.”

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She did say that she wanted to speak with me about something after entrusting me with her patients. As I eavesdropped what she said to the skeptical lizardmen, I already knew that she wanted to ask me a favor, of which I had no idea.

She then continued, “Are you ready?”

Heaving a loud sigh, I jumped onto my feet, clapped my face to reset my mindset before nodding, agreeing to listen to what she wanted to say.

“Good, thank you, but before we go…young scales, show yourselves!” Apsala shouted.

As she said that, the group of lizardmen that I noticed following us, appeared before us, nervously fidgeting their fingers. There were four females, only one among them was male. As I stared at them, besides being a bit shorter, they all looked almost exactly like the adult lizardmen.

“Let me guess…it was you five that told everybody in the camp that this young scale, Hestia, healed everybody, correct?” Apsala stated with a stern face. “Why did you not think before doing that, huh? You’ve overcrowded my clinic, annoyed my patients when they needed rest, and caused our benefactors major distress. What do you have to say for your actions, young scales?”

“We-we just wanted…to tell everybody of what she could do,” one of the females said, who had a red crest on her head.

“S-She used something to heal elder Caszcur and then healed everybody else,” another said, with a similar crest. “We just wanted the other elders to not treat her badly…She is strong so we thought if everybody liked her…that she would help us.”

“Naïve young scales, that's not how you gain favor," Apsala scolded. "You've caused the camp enough trouble, but you've caused the most trouble to her. Quickly apologize to Hestia!”

"""""A-As our tails are our witnesses, we apologize to Hestia for our mistake,""""" the five apologized as they tucked their tails between their legs.

“Il ko,” (Is ok,) I said in broken Common tongue, as I couldn’t remember how to say, “It’s ok”.

“Now go, Caszcur and I have much to talk with her,” Apsala said.

However, defiantly, they didn’t listen to the older lizard woman, turned to me and clenched my hands with theirs.

“Please, help us get revenge!” one said desperately. “Please come with us and help us get our revenge!”

“All our friends and all the elder scales are being trapped by those monsters, so please, please, help us,” one cried out, tears flowing down her rage-filled eyes.

“We five siblings wanted to do it ourselves, but the rest of the elders here are cravens, telling us that it was impossible!” one shouted from the top of her lungs. “They are scared of your power, but they don’t realize that you are the only one who can help us. Help all our friends and scale-kins!”

"You can use make that giant ball of flames and you can heal everybody so easily," meanwhile, one continued praising me while her sisters begged me for a favor.

“I offer my tail,” the male shouted as he began intertwining his tail with mine. “You can use it however you want, so please help us. Help us get our revenge and save our lost friends, please!”

“Hissssssssss, KRIIIIIIIEEEEH! Enough now, you krill eaters!” snapping out of her own astonishment, she pushed the five away from me. “What have we told you about controlling your anger, huh?! Get the hell out of here, all of you now! And you, boy! Don’t you dare twist your tail with another female, besides your egg sisters, if you know what’s good for you!”

Intimidated by the older lizard’s scowl, the five siblings flinched back. Before they ran away, they shouted in unison, “Please, help us!”.

“I apologize…” once they were gone, Apsala apologized. “Those young scales have caused you even more trouble…especially that idiotic boy.”

Apsala asked if we were still ready, which Tasianna and I nodded too. As we walked, I left Apsala to cool down first before asking Tasianna if she could translate a question for me, asking how old the "young scales" were.

“They all hatched at the same time, I heard, so all five must be five years old,” Apsala answered.

Five years old? Wow, being called young scales must mean that they were practically children or teenagers, but only five years old? Lizardmen grow fast, huh?

"I apologize for their rude behavior. The young scales usually behave well but it seems the recent events have caused everybody, especially the young ones, to tense up, making them act unnatural,” Apsala said in exasperation.

I still remembered how antagonistic Caszcur was and how Apsala literally wanted to pray in front of me, leading her to break into tears once she learned that our party wasn’t actually there to help them escape the forest.

“The young scales recently lost their parents,” Apsala dropped a bombshell, shocking me “That event also caused us to be separated from the rest of our group. Our other young scales, their friends, were also among that group, so their hot-headedness is affecting them. Grief and anger are a terrible mixture, able to kill even the most experienced of hunters.”

That would explain the anxiety and distress that their voices told me as they kept pleading me to help them get revenge and rescue their acquaintances. I couldn’t fully sympathize with how they felt about losing their parents, as I didn’t witness my parents dying seeing as I was the one that left my parents.

However, I know how lonely it must feel to not have them anymore. Never seeing the two people that meant the world to you, ever again, the people that were your strongest pillars and supporters as they kept you afloat and safe.

I felt grief that I was at fault for causing my parents to be sad, venting my frustration at myself and my surroundings, so it wasn’t surprising that these kids wanted to get revenge for the death of their parents.

“Their foolhardiness would have cost them their lives, wasting their parent’s memories, so we had to stop them,” Apsala heaved a heavy sigh, as she explained it to me. “Now they curse us. Naïve young scales, believing that they could do everything by themselves. Truly reckless idiots.”

“Does that mean that they were asking us to help them avenge their family?” Tasianna asked.

“Yes…us old scales contemplated before your party arrived,” Apsala said beforing becoming silent. “…Enough, the request that the young scales were talking about, that will be the main focus of what we will talk to you about. Let us leave all of that for later.”

I nodded, already anticipating what they would ask us ‘cause of that little stunt.

Tasianna also nodded but a question suddenly popped up, “…Oh, that’s right. I wish to understand what all that talk about tails has to do about it. First, ‘tail polisher’ and now when the boy intertwined his tail with Lady Hestia’s. What is the meaning of all these tail idioms supposed to mean?”

I can’t help but agree. I wanted to know about them too, considering that I had a tail and needed to educate myself on a whole new set of idioms and wordplays. Might as well do it now.

“Ahhh, the word ‘tail polisher’ is an insult towards females,” Apsala said while stroking her chin. “It literally means somebody who continuously comforts males when it’s dusk, enjoying a different partner every night for benefits.”

““Oh…”” Tasianna and I let out.

In other words, it’s a word for whore…noted.

“Oh?” Apsala noticing my surprise, moved her long neck so our eyes met. “Don’t tell me that our little one here didn’t know? Ohhh, my, my. So strong and mature despite how intense your hatchling scent is still lingering around you. I thought my nose was failing me, but it actually was correct. How precious you are, dragonewts also grow fast it seems.”

Wait! Has my age already been exposed…do I actually smell like a newborn?

Sniffing myself, I can 100% say that I have no idea.

Patting my head, Apsala continued, “Oh my, now I would feel bad for explaining to you about the whole tail thing, instead of having your egg mother do it. This is usually something a mother would share with her daughter to help her mature…I couldn't possible steal that away now, could I?”

Well, I don’t know where my dragon mother was or if she was alive at all. If you don’t explain it to me, then it will take ages for me to learn, ha ha.

“Ahhhh, who cares, Tasianna asked me, not the little one,” with a smirk, Apsala just waved her concerns away. “Intertwining tails is to show your affection towards one another. When men talk about ‘offering their tail’, they mean that they wish for you to carry their eggs. Doing it with your egg siblings and parents usually has no romantic implications, but that boy back then is an idiot, so don’t take it too seriously.”

Wow, did I just learn a lizardman pick-up line? Woah, he might not have meant it, but I just got flirted on.

“…That savage…how dare he say such nonsense to my mistress, tainting her innocence like that!” learning the truth, Tasianna was squirming around as she flew besides us. “That’s it! I need to teach that boy a lesson on threating others!”

As I was holding Tasianna back so she wouldn’t bore another hole into another lizard, Apsala was merrily laughing while messing up my hair.

Forgetting about the sour topic that we just talked about, Apsala continued treating me like a kid until we finally reached the meeting location.

I was once again led back to the campfire, in the middle of the camp, however, now there were only a few people here. The majority of the lizardmen from before cleaned up and left to fulfil whatever task they were doing.

The people sitting there were Caszcur, Aksmias, and lastly, Saori with the virigress family. Like it was before, Saori, Rajah, and his family were on one side, while the lizardmen kept a respectful distance by sitting directly opposite of them.

“You’re finally here, little lady,” Caszcur spoke. “Make it yourself comfortable, there is a lot we need to tell you about.”

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