Chapter 8: Chapter Seven: Twice Shy

Fuming, Midas went to his bathroom to examine the wound. It was bleeding a fair bit but didn't seem like it would leave a permanent scar. He quickly took a shower before getting out the first aid kit. He disinfected and bandaged the wound. He was putting on a robe when he heard the sink in Shade's bathroom turn on. Their bathrooms were right next to each other and shared a vent, so sound traveled well. Midas got mad again just thinking about him; who does something like that without asking first? He had asked me multiple times before proceeding before. Midas sat for a moment on his bathroom counter, listening to Shade's sink; I'm going to have to talk to him... But at this point, I don't even know if I want to keep him here at all. When he heard the sink turn off, he headed to Shade's apartment and knocked on the door. After a few minutes, Shade opened it. "Midas, I-"

Midas stepped past him and closed the door. "Look, I don't know what you are normally into but that-"

"No; you don't understand. I-"

"That was fucked up to do without saying anything first!"

"I didn't-"

"I don't even know if I should keep you here anymore."

"Please..." Shade choked out.

Midas could hear in his voice that he seemed to be fighting back tears even though he couldn't see his face. "What?" Midas asked, impatiently; is he seriously crying, after he's the one who hurt me? I won't be swayed by some emotional display!

"That's not what I'm into- Pain is not pleasure to me. I didn't mean to do that." Shade was practically pleading. "I need you to know that... No matter what you decide; please, know it was an accident..."

"Accident! How do you accidentally bite so hard you draw blood?"

"I- I was... I almost- My voice." Shade tried to explain; he paused a moment and took a breath. "I thought that I was about to... Make noise- With my real voice; I panicked. It's not a good reason, or excuse, but it's the truth. I'm not asking you to forgive me. I just- Wanted you to know why. To know that it wasn't because I enjoy it or that I would hurt you on purpose. I'm sorry..." Shade cast his gaze to the floor, awaiting Midas' response.

"You bit me so that I wouldn't hear your real voice?" Midas repeated.

"I'm so sorry..." Shade continued to look down, rubbing his neck with both hands; there is no recovering from this... Whatever happens- I deserve.

"Okay..." Midas began to pace for a moment; I think I believe him... He was very clear about not wanting to drop the disguise. Still, it isn't a good reason. He is working on a cure though... I have to keep him close, proximity-wise anyway. Midas looked at him, "Well then..." Shade looked at his face, hands still on his neck. "Alright," Midas concluded. "I believe you but I feel it's obvious that whatever that was is over. You can stay here, keep your job, work on the cure- Honestly, that probably would've been the case even if it had been on purpose..." Midas sighed. "This relationship is strictly business from here on out though." Shade nodded sadly and Midas left.

 

Following that night, Shade immediately buried himself in his lab work. He was grateful Midas had let him stay and he was determined to prove his worth. He also wanted to avoid running into Midas. He decided it was best to stay in his room as much as possible, forgoing his occasional walks and cutting back on meals. He worked around the clock to keep his mind busy, wanting to avoid even thinking about Midas beyond him being the carrier of the Golden-Touch curse.

 

Midas attempted to distract himself but often found his thoughts drifting more and more to his night with Shade. Thursday night, he went to Kharon's Rest and brought two women back to his room. He engaged in one of the most rigorous nights of sex he'd ever had, yet it somehow didn't feel all that satisfying to him. Something about his night with Shade was intense in a way he couldn't quite place.

 

The next day, Midas worked up the nerve to call a man he knew. Kai was Midas' lead intelligence gatherer; he worked primarily online, keeping tabs on the electronic communication activity of various groups. He'd been with Styx for five years and Midas knew him fairly well. He was also a single gay man who would regularly have men over. Midas didn't consider Kai gossipy and trusted he would keep a secret. When Midas called him, Kai answered in a cheerful tone, "Hey, Boss, what can I do for you?"

"Do you have any plans tonight?" Midas asked him.

"No; I'm available. Something you need me for tonight?"

"I wanted to talk with you, about some personal things, privately."

"Okay..." Kai was a bit confused, he and Midas had always gotten along but they didn't normally spend one on one time together outside of work. "Would you like to come to my apartment tonight? Maybe eight-ish?"

"Yes, that works," Midas felt relieved Kai had agreed to meet with him but it was short-lived as uncertainty crept in again.

"Okay, see you in a few hours," Kai confirmed, ending the call.

 

At eight, Midas knocked on Kai's door and Kai called for him to enter. Kai was in the kitchen area; he had made some sort of pasta. Kai looked at him, "I realize I should have asked, do you have any food restrictions?"

"No; this looks good. I didn't expect this."

"Well, I figured, it's dinner time so why not have whatever conversation you wanted to have over some good food? It's almost done; have a seat and I'll finish up." Midas sat at the table and watched him. Kai was a bit shorter than Midas. His long, tawny hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail that reached the center of his back. He finished the pasta and made two plates. He set them on the table and then removed the apron he was wearing, tossing it on the kitchen counter. He sat across from Midas. "So, what was it you wanted to talk about?"

"Well," Midas became nervous all over again; where has my confidence gone exactly? I'm not this way with women at all... "The thing is, I've been- Questioning some things..." Midas realized he wasn't being very clear but he was struggling to say it.

"You think you like men too?" Kai smiled warmly.

"Y-yes."

"Why me? Why aren't you talking to Jason about it?"

Midas hesitated, "Well; I was thinking that, maybe, there could potentially be more than just talking."

"Oh!" Kai seemed genuinely surprised.

"I mean, only if you would want to, obviously," Midas quickly added.

"Hmm. I thought you literally meant you just wanted to talk about it." He laughed a little. "I understand now why you didn't go to Jason. He's sort of like a son to you, isn't he?"

"Yes; and, honestly, even thinking of just talking it out- While I would value his thoughts, he tells Mari everything. Also, you are older than him so I guess I just thought-"

"That I'm wiser than him too."

"Yeah."

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"Tell you what, let's go ahead and eat then we can delve into this." Kai was still smiling. Midas nodded and the men ate while keeping casual conversation, which helped Midas feel more comfortable. After they had finished their meal, Kai led Midas to his couch where they sat together. "Now," Kai began. "What do you think brought this on? What makes you think you want to sleep with men now too?"

"Well, I kissed one."

"Really?" Kai responded with surprise. "Did it end there, just a kiss?"

"On that day, then later there was more... He gave me a hand job but things went south when he bit my neck, hard, without asking."

Kai frowned, "Yikes."

"Yea..."

"Hmm," Kai considered for a moment. "Kissing and hand jobs aren't exactly something you can't get from women. Did you intend to do more with him before the bite?"

"I wasn't sure- I was kind of just going along with what I was feeling in the moment and what he was willing to do."

"So whether it's him, or me, or some other guy just imagine, for a moment, yourself giving pleasure to another man. How does that idea make you feel?"

Midas thought on it; it was hard not to pick Shade as the theoretical man. He imagined that night with their roles reversed. The thought of Shade squirming in pleasure because of him excited Midas. He then tried to imagine it was Kai instead of Shade and he felt less sure. "I don't know," Midas admitted. "It certainly doesn't disgust me. Truthfully though, it only seems to excite when I think about him."

"People often look at sexuality in a black and white, this or that sort of way. It's way more like a spectrum though. Your taste in women is very broad; perhaps, your taste in men is just so narrow you didn't even realize you had one until now."

"Guess that makes some sense."

"So, how do you feel about me? You've known me for a few years; have you ever once felt attracted to me?"

"No," Midas admitted.

"Didn't think so. So what makes you think that you want to do things with me tonight?"

"I guess, I'm not sure. I suppose, I wondered if it was him specifically or if it was more of a the-door-is-open-now kind of thing..."

"Oh, like he was just your awakening but you're into it now?"

"Something like that. Only, I still don't know if I am."

"So you want to experiment with me?"

"You're the first one I thought of. You're trustworthy, I always liked you as a person, you're single, and you're not bad looking..."

Kai chuckled, "Not bad looking, usually, I get that I'm quite good looking." He smiled at him, "We can go for it, if you want. I think it will help you. I'm also predicting you aren't going to be into it, though lucky me if you are."

Midas blushed, "You're okay with trying then?"

"Sure am but you're going to have to take the lead."

"W-why?"

"Well, you're the one who's going to reach the point where he's un-comfy first. So, if you are leading, you can just stop when that happens. Besides, I'm more of a follower anyway," Kai winked and smiled.

Midas thought back to Shade telling him to sit down and the way he pushed his hand against the wall; wait- Was that what I liked the most!? Because that may be something else entirely... Midas leaned in, kissing Kai; it doesn't feel at all like kissing Shade. It doesn't feel like kissing a woman either. It feels... Off, somehow. Midas pushed on anyway, determined to be absolutely sure. He kissed Kai deeper and used his left hand to begin unbuttoning Kai's shirt. Kai reached out and started unbuttoning Midas' shirt too. Midas looked at Kai's hands; so he's going to do to me whatever I do to him? Midas ran his hand along Kai's stomach, feeling him. He placed his hand on the outside of Kai's pants, rubbing slightly. Kai glanced down then up at Midas to gauge how he was feeling. Midas stopped and turned away, blushing, "I-"

"You're uncomfortable." Kai put a hand on Midas' shoulder, "You aren't into men the same way you're into women. Does that answer some of your questions?"

"Yes..." Midas ran his hand through his hair, leaning back into the couch. "Too bad that leaves the far more difficult questions."

"Such as?"

"What is it about that man in particular and is there any chance it is more than just a sexual attraction?"

"You have always kept things pretty casual with women, as far as I could tell."

"I haven't had a relationship that was more than just sex since..."

"Your late wife?" Kai finished, solemnly, looking at Midas' wedding band.

"Pretty much... Anytime that I tried after that it never lasted very long. So, I haven't even tried in at least six years."

"Do you think the bite is something you can forgive? It is a fairly aggressive sexual act to do without talking about it first."

"He did apologize and sounded sincere. I called things off anyway but I am wondering if I made the right call."

Kai nodded, "You'll figure it out eventually. Don't rush; take your time to think on it. You'll figure out how you feel."

 

Midas had thanked Kai, then returned to his apartment, where he was laying on his large sectional couch. As he watched a fire dance in the fireplace, he thought about Shade. The more he did, the more certain things about Shade and that night were starting to stick out to him; the way Shade reacts to certain touches. How upset he got and the way he wanted me to know he doesn't find pain pleasurable... I think something may have happened to him before. He showed concern for the women here; he said he became cursed by wishing death on someone- Is it all related somehow? Midas was certain Shade wouldn't open up about any of it, especially after Midas had declared their personal relationship over. With the pain of the bite having faded, Midas was regretting his harsh response; perhaps I can salvage a friendship with him?

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