Chapter 65: 65

Iris followed Hayer to the annex where the two bedrooms were located.

When the rainy season ended, the sky was as dry as ever. It was a starry sky, so different from where she came before.

After leaving the circus tent, some discomfort lingered between the two who walked slowly.

To change the mood, Hayer turned to talk about Sandra and Ruben. Then he laughed when he realized that the lights in the room were off.

“It’s wrong to treat us to breakfast tomorrow.”

“Are you worried that they’ll come out early to prepare for it?”

Iris said, following Hayer and looking back. Then she muttered as if she didn’t understand.

“Wouldn’t you rather go to bed early?”

“I’m not sure. I think they turned off the lights because they were embarrassed.”

Iris, who finally understood the hidden meaning of Hayer’s words, nodded. However, she still mumbled in an unconvinced tone.

“Still…”

When Iris wasn’t convinced, Hayer asked her.

“Which part is so strange?”

“They’re tired, both of them.”

“So it’s more… Wait, do you think it’s tiring to sleep with the love you haven’t seen in seven years?”

Hayer glanced at Iris with a look on his face, as if asking how she could say something so unromantic.

Of course, he was not a huge romantic, but it wasn’t that he didn’t understand the bond and emotional exchange between Sandra and Ruben.

The two were madly in love with each other, and all with their eyes, they were frequently sending signals that they had waited for today to come where they could hold hands.

Iris, who he thought was a much more romantic person than himself, gave a negative answer again.

“Won’t you get tired no matter how much you love them?”

It was as if she had already married someone she didn’t love, and had been married while sharing a couple of boring nights a year.

In Hayer’s view, Iris sometimes felt overly realistic and pessimistic. She was determined to work hard to improve Luwan, but also felt gloomy, as if she were seeing a country that would eventually end up ruined.

She was a strange, complicated woman.

Indeed, with her affectionate eyes looking at him since they first met, Hayer vaguely thought that she would like him.

But didn’t she answer that she had someone else in mind that Hayer knew but had never met?

When he guessed who it was in many ways, the only ones who met the conditions she said after coming out of the convent and going with the Knights of Tejas were only priests.

A famous priest stopped by the convent, he thought dimly.

It doesn’t matter who you love, it seems that you have the heart to get yourself married.

Hayer’s mood strangely sank.

While talking about Sandra and Ruben, the two arrived in front of Iris’s bedroom.

When Iris opened the bedroom door, there were fruits and drinks in front of her.

Iris laughed.

“Even if the family head doesn’t move, there’s food everywhere.”

She said as she walked toward the table.

“Wouldn’t it be like this if there was a heaven? No one starves, and if there’s something to eat, we share it with each other.”

“Your heaven is quite small.”

“What is your heaven like?”

When Iris asked, Hayer pondered for a moment and replied.

“Hmm… I hope it’s a place where books by my favourite authors are always published until the final volume.”

His answer made Iris laugh.

“That’s also small.”

“When did I say mine wasn’t small?”

Hayer grumbled, embarrassed.

The conversation temporarily broke any remaining discomfort left between the two.

Meanwhile, Hayer gulped down a glass of clear alcohol on the table. Then, with a rare serious face, he opened his mouth as he looked down at the empty glass.

“When I return to the palace, I think I’ll have to visit my mother.”

Iris tilted her head at his words.

Hayer continued, facing her.

“At the very least, shouldn’t we check that my father is not a criminal or a slave? To get married.”

Iris’s eyes widened in surprise at his words.

Hayer asked, finding it odd.

“I told you I’d propose to you again. Why are you so surprised like it’s your first time hearing it?”

“Really… I didn’t know you were going to do it.”

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“Why?”

“…I thought it was an Asheri-style rejection.”

When Iris couldn’t find anything else to say and replied, Hayer was taken aback, then laughed at how ridiculous it was.

It seems that she was not a person who gave him much trust.

Hayer didn’t know why, but he felt wronged, because he had a lot of trust in Iris.

Somehow, it seems that it was because she thought he had been noticeably uncomfortable with her for a while and thought she had been rejected. He had become a man who unintentionally rejected a woman’s marriage proposal.

Anyway, fortunately, the misunderstanding was resolved, and the corners of Iris’s lips were softly rising.

She was someone with a clear sense of purpose. Even in a marriage that has nothing to do with love, she is so happy when her goal is met.

Looking at her like that, he thought of Iris’s negative words earlier. Wouldn’t you get tired no matter how much you love them and wouldn’t sleep with them.

…If you’re skeptical about love even if you love, are you trying to block it from happening at all?

A life of chastity… He never thought about it, but if he had to…

For him, who suffered from his mother’s extramarital affair, ‘having an affair’ in life was an option to fall into the fire pit of hell.

“It’s good for me to take care of myself, but I’d like you to do it too. It’s lonely if I do it alone.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You said you wouldn’t sleep and would get tired. If I love you, but you don’t love me, you’ll be more tired.”

Iris paused at his words.

He said first, and his face as he licked his lips, seemed somewhat hurt.

Iris pondered for a moment and asked.

“Aren’t you tired? Things like that. Considering the date you can get pregnant, it’s inconvenient to see each other after a few months… Let’s finish it quickly… It feels awkward…”

“No, why are you so pessimistic? Have you ever had a wrong marriage?”

“No! There isn’t. I don’t have any.”

Iris was startled and denied two more times in a row.

Hayer speculated that the convent had instilled in her the negatives of everything sexual.

Otherwise, how could it be this negative?

While he thought so, Iris said to herself.

“Kissing… sounds good. However.”

“……”

“I don’t know if it will be really good.”

Hayer felt like his mouth was dry for some reason, so he poured another glass of alcohol and gulped it down.

Are you saying you don’t want to, or are you asking me to come and kiss you? He couldn’t read her thoughts at all.

It was strange.

He thought it was the specialty of the Asheri family to be able to read other people’s reactions more easily.

Until now, he had lived by making good use of such specialties. But he didn’t know why this woman was constantly embarrassing him, bewildering him, and making him hesitate.

Iris asked, looking at his lips.

“…Would that be good?”

She thought it would be nice to do one thing, whether it was negative or expected about married life. How is he supposed to react to someone with those eyes asking if kissing is good?

Are you asking me to play the role of talking like a friend of the same sex? Or is it just curiosity—or is it temptation?

Hayer approached Iris after deciding that he would stop if she didn’t like it.

“Wouldn’t it be different for each person?”

As he got closer, Iris had to raise her head to look up at Hayer, who was noticeably taller.

When Hayer got close enough with a single stride, Iris said.

“Anyway… if we really intend to get married, at least a kiss… Can’t we?”

Even though she expressed her consent, Hayer paused for a moment.

Marriage.

Kiss.

He chewed those words that remained sweet in his mouth until they tasted bitter.

“Give up. Don’t hang out with her. At least, try again after finding out who your father is.”

He thought he didn’t care at all, but it suddenly came to mind like this.

“Personally, now that the marriage between Iris and Sid has been settled, I would like you to leave for the post of the Knights of Tejas in the south.”

It was very familiar to be told to leave now that it’s settled. It was a typical Hayer Asheri life.

Hayer thought that Celios Lepos had neatly outlined the control device in his chest that, from the day he first saw Iris, she pulled from the other side whenever he tried to be attracted to her.

afterword

IM SCREAMING RIPPING MY HAIR OUT LET THEM BE HAPPY THE TENSION IM ON THE FLOOR IM GASPING FOR AIRRR

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