Chapter 100: 97 Speedrun

After all of the teams made it to the tower and the second event was over, we Jonin started leaving the room we were in, to get back to our students, but as I am standing up with Minato, Orochimaru approaches us with his creepy smile.

Minato, being the cheerful person he is, greets him first.

"Orochimaru-san, is there something we can do for you?"

However, Orochimaru doesn't share his politeness, and ignores Minato and his question completely, focusing on me instead.

"You cheated." He accuses.

I spare him a lazy look.

"Takes one to know one." I reply blithely, meanwhile Minato looks at me in surprise.

"You cheated?" It's a question this time, rather than an accusation, but still, typical Minato that he doesn't even think about cheating.

"You can prove nothing." My still casual voice makes Minato smile wryly and shakes his head.

Ignoring Orochimaru, I leave the room, Minato following behind me with only a quick apology to the number one snake charmer.

When we are alone in the corridor, Minato speaks lowly to me.

"Did you really cheat?"

I glance at him out of the corner of my eye and ponder how to answer. I could keep this about simply cheating in this test, or I could give a more broad answer.

"Yeah, so? Minato, we are Shinobi, we lie and we cheat, especially so on the ANBU side of things, I know it's not fair, but that's just the way things are in this life."

He ponders on my unnecessarily deep response as we reach the Genin and I quickly gather my team and leave, bidding Minato and his squad good luck in the next test as I did so.

A couple of days later, and I am inside of Konoha's colosseum with the other Jonin once again, only, this time we are joined by the Hokage himself, as I guess he wants to escape paperwork for a moment or something.

Due to the number of people in the tournament being twelve, it can't be standard and so, four people will essentially be getting a free round, so that the quarter finals are a standard eight man tournament.

Then two semi finals followed by the grand finale, which let's be honest, Kakashi is going to win, I even bet money on him, not that the odds are very high.

The fights are decided randomly, and unfortunately, I can already see that each of my Genin are going to lose in their first fights, because for some reason the random roll has my team fighting either Kakashi or Guy.

Ibiki got one of the free passes, but that just means he can lose to Guy after Hayate does.

Tokara is fighting Kakashi in the second fight.

The first fight is Anko against her teammate Sensoshi, which she wins without fanfare, since his style relies on his opponent not knowing it, kind of like my own, but worse.

The second fight is over in an instant because Tokara doesn't stand a chance against Kakashi.

Then it's the third fight, Hayate against Guy.

That fight was actually interesting, Hayate had him on the ropes a few times, nearly cut off one of Guy's arms which is cool but, ultimately, he couldn't match Guy's speed and was knocked out by a particularly harsh kick to the gut.

Then it's Ebisu against Rin, which goes in Ebisu's favour almost immediately.

All in all, a pretty boring first round, though honestly I doubt watching Genin fight is ever really going to be entertaining for me.

Maybe Kakashi against Guy will be interesting, to see the rivals go at it.

Talent versus hard work, who will win?

Well, we already know the answer, Talent will almost always trump hard work, because all it takes is someone talented to put in just a little bit of effort and they match a talentless person like Guy giving his all.

So then, what do you get when you put Guy against someone with talent who has also worked hard, if not nearly as much as Guy himself.

Well, it's obvious, talent wins.

After a short break to catch their breath, it's time for the second round.

The fist fight is Obito versus Anko, and while the fight was originally going in Obito's favour, Anko then made a fool of him.

Mid fight, Anko shouted to Obito, 'if you let me win, I'll give you a kiss!'.

Thanks to that, Obito froze, being the kid that he is, and Anko quickly made use of his distraction to put a Kunai to his throat, causing her victory.

The look I sent Minato after that fight made him blush in shame and he refused to meet my eyes.

He should really have 'the talk' with his Genin already.

Anyway, after that was Kakashi against Hikaru, one of Orochimaru's, naturally that went about the same as Tokara, which is to say the fight didn't last more than a few seconds.

Then it was Ibiki against Guy and again, my Genin gave a good showing, but he just could not match the sheer speed and power of the green spandex wearing weirdo.

The final fight of the second round was Ebisu against Genma, which wasn't really a fight, since they're in the same squad and Ebisu simply surrendered, letting Genma lose against Guy in the semi finals.

Meanwhile, Anko got destroyed by Kakashi, who didn't so much as blink at anything she said, the fight only lasting slightly longer than a few seconds.

And then, finally, it's the finale.

At this point I am practically asleep, using Minato's shoulder as a pillow.

It's not my fault, it's just so boring.

Like, they look like they are just walking around and poking each other as slowly as possible, like if you've ever seen someone doing Tai Chi and the way they slowly throw a punch.

Minato shrugs his shoulder when the final starts, knocking my head away from him.

"C'mon Hana, at least watch the final." He scolds me, but I just stick my tongue out at him, which make him roll his eyes good naturedly.

"So what if it's the final, they're still Genin, it's not like it's suddenly going to become more interesting." I complain.

"Maybe, but that is one of my students and this is an important moment for him, so I would appreciate it if you at least watched it."

"Ugh, they aren't even good at fighting, and you can't just guilt trip me into watching a boring fight." Despite my words, I do pay attention this time even if I sort of whished I didn't.

No, this isn't further proof I am a tsundere.

Shut up B-baka!

Ahem. Why did I think that? I'm so glad I only thought it though, if I'd said that out loud I never would have lived it down.

Anyway, in summery, Kakashi attacks Guy and is repelled, then Guy uses his arsenal of about five moves a bunch and Kakashi, not being an idiot, figures out that Guy is just repeating the exact same moves, and quickly checkmates him.

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There, intense, season finale fight over.

I should have stayed in bed, I could have just shown up late or not at all and skipped this whole farce.

Once the fight is called, I shoot to my feet, causing the occupants of the room to look at me in curiosity.

"Welp! That's over, good job everyone involved, great show yadda yadda, I'm sad to see them go but I'm proud of my little Genin for getting promoted, I trust that my job is done now, right Hokage-sama? Cool, thanks, see ya."

The Hokage's face twitches at my behaviour and words, likely remembering my reluctance to have any Genin in the first place, and most of the Jonin are either shocked or just amused, though Orochimaru still just looks creepy.

And then without waiting for anyone to respond I am gone.

Fucking, finally I am done with those brats, whew.

Now I can actually focus properly on the really important stuff, which is my newest tattoos, which I had to edit the design of thanks to revelations from a couple days ago, but I give it a few months before it's done.

I feel a slightly insane smile stretch my lips for a moment as thoughts about the future well up.

????????????, ???? ???????????? ???????????????????????? ????????????????.

As quickly as it came, my smile is gone as if it were but a figment of the imagination.

I head over to ANBU HQ as I just realised a potential flaw in my plans that need immediate correction.

Well, it's less of a flaw, and more of a contingency.

Eh, semantics, it need to be done regardless, I'd hate to fail after all, not after all the effort I'm putting into this.

I weave my way through the now familiar corridors and make my way to Mantises room, since he was working night shifts, he's probably asleep, meaning this is where I can find him.

Being the asshole I am, I don't knock or anything, instead simply kicking the door open, subsequently having to tilt my head to dodge a kunai, though I don't bother to dodge the kunai that pierce my chest.

I don't even flinch at the pain, I mean really, it's hardly the worst thing I've felt, hell, I've had kinky sex that was more painful than a kunai to the chest.

I shiver slightly at the memory.

That was a strange night.

Word of advice, never fuck the girls who work in T&I, because those Sadomasochist do not understand the meaning of the word 'moderation'.

Then again, they do say you should try everything at least once.

So lost in though about kinky sex was I, that by the time I focus back on the world around me, Mantis is already suited up and standing before me.

He is practically radiating annoyance, but he is unerringly loyal to me, so I know he is ready and willing to do anything I say.

I really couldn't have asked for a better minion than Mantis, he is great at doing things I want done quietly that I can't do myself for whatever reason, and he's a good friend beyond even that.

"Mantis, follow me." I order, not with a stern tone or anything, we are still friends after all, but there isn't a need to mince words.

Before we leave, he changes back out of his ANBU clothes and into civvies, since I'm in civvies still and it would be weird if he didn't.

I lead Mantis out of the village and then we both activate our stealth, just to hide from sensors, then we run for a few minutes, before we reach a completely random point in the forest, chosen by a blind kunai thrown at a map and checked to ensure there is nothing of note nearby.

When we get here, I can tell Mantis is curious, but he doesn't ask, figuring I will explain it to him, which is correct.

Ten minutes later and we are retuning to the village, exactly the same as before we left, nothing signifying that anything of note even happened.

"Well, see ya later Yu." I wave to him as I head back to my place.

"Later Hana, good luck with whatever you're doing, I hope it doesn't kill you."

Heh.

I explained the point of this little trip to him, but he has no idea about what my plans are, no one does, all he knows is that it's probably stupid dangerous, which it is.

It's touching that he's worried, but there is no need to be, I know what I'm doing, more or less, kinda.

Ok, I'm not entirely sure about everything, but I've always believed plans should only be vague outlines, because so much is constantly changing and it's better to just make up the detailed plans on the spot.

I'm like, sixty, no, seventy percent sure my plan will work out fine, and if it does..?

Well, then nothing else will matter anymore.

I open the door to my flat and an shortly greeted by a nervously smiling Tsunade.

Suddenly a sinking feeling settles in my stomach, and trusting my instincts honed over years of war, I start looking around, and study Tsunade closely, in case she isn't exactly Tsunade, but she just rolls her eyes at my paranoia.

The next two words she speaks both assuage my paranoia, while also making me want to stab a kunai through my own skull.

"I'm pregnant."

God. Fucking. Damnit.

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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!

I am so fucking tired writing this, so I'm sorry if the first half is a little dry, but I have house moving work to do once I wake up, and I want to have at least both of tomorrows chaps done in case I don't get the time.

So by the time I am posting this, I should be doing house moving stuff, but I am writing this the night before.

Also, chap 100!

I now have a pat/reon, but I still prefer Ko-fi, however I will never turn down support! just get rid of the first slash!

Advanced chapters with the links below!

V P Takes a cut of donations V

pat/reon.com/user?u=41732867 (get rid of the first slash)

V K Does not take a cut V

https://ko-fi.com/bored_works

https://discord.gg/Pj3Dttwses

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