I am Yoshino Nara, and I love my husband.
It feels good to be able to say that, because it's not something I ever thought I would feel.
See, I didn't want to marry my husband, I had no choice in the matter, and I was already in love with someone else.
I was in love with Hana.
But then the call came, I will marry the clan Heir Shikaku and I have no choice in the matter. That pissed me off.
I didn't know what to do, my life was so perfect and then because of some stupid old men it was all falling apart. I couldn't ask Hana to run away with me, that would make him a missing nin and I know how much he loves his job.
Not to mention, I could never ask him to spend his life being hunted, not just for me.
And then, when I next saw him, he tells me how he knew all along, how he didn't tell me because he wanted to enjoy the time we have together. That he'd already accepted it. Given up.
I won't lie, it hurt, that he didn't even put up a fight for me. It made me wonder if he actually cared about me as much as I do him.
Then he took me on another wonderful date that ended here, in our little hideaway from the world.
I walk up to the wall of the cave as I remain lost in thought, looking through the many, many photos hung up on the walls showing us, happy and together.
It was here, that we shared our first kiss. Here that I confronted him about his love, and it was here that I learned just how much I hate the Elders.
I still remember his words, with such clarity it's as if I can still hear him saying them.
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It was only then, that I truly understood the lengths he was willing to go to for me.
I talked with Shikaku about it too, it's like Hana said, neither of us had a choice in this, I shouldn't resent him for being in the same position as me. So we decided we should be upfront about our feelings on the matter.
I mean, we are both Nara, neither of us are stupid, we would figure out if the other was hiding something anyway, so we might as well simply talk things through, especially if we're to be together for the rest of our lives.
So we talked. I told him of how I love someone else and rather than being upset about it, he apologised for taking me away from love. He told me how Hana had come to him, and all but begged for him to do what he can to stop the marriage.
I learnt of how Shikaku complained to the Elders, to his father, how he tried to get out of this, to call it off, but no one would budge.
I learnt of how Shikaku is a good man, he didn't love me, but he still did what he could to help me, simply because it's the right thing to do.
It didn't take me too long before I fell for Shikaku. He is very different to Hana, but there are similarities. Like how Shikaku is just as earnest and sincere, that he does what he can to make sure I'm happy.
I love him.
But my feelings for Hana just won't go away.
Which is why I'm here. Because I don't know what to do. Shikaku is out helping the war effort, and no one has seen Hana for a while now.
I, meanwhile, have been forbidden from participating in the war at the frontlines, because I am 'too valuable' to lose. Yeah, that's me, the fragile maiden that will shatter like glass if you let me out of your sight.
Note the sarcasm.
It's all just so stupid.
Suddenly my musings are interrupted by the sounds of soft footsteps.
I freeze, facing the wall.
Only one other person knows about this place, and I'm not sure if I can face him. What would I even say?
The choice is taken out of my hands as his voice sounds out a few steps behind me.
"Hey, Shino, long time no see." He says, sounding for all the world like he is completely calm.
Slowly, I turn around to face him, I'm not sure what kind of face I'm making, some strange mix between happy and melancholic, I suppose.
He looks older, is my first thought, but at the same time, he looks exactly the same.
Shining pink hair, soft features and startlingly blue eyes and standing taller than just about everyone I've ever met, and I know how toned his body is under those clothes.
That last thought makes me blush a little, something he clearly notices if his smirk is anything to go by, then he starts making silly poses to flex for me and I can't help but laugh.
It's like I said, he really is the same.
"Hey Hana, it really has been a while, it's nice to see you again." I finally remember to respond to his greeting and idly tuck away a strand of hair as he responds with his usual cocky grin.
"Of course it's nice to see me, though I think you would prefer a clearer sight." He says with a wink, referencing to the way I was ogling him. He really is the same.
I just roll my eyes at his antics, I am a married woman now, and regardless of my feelings, I will stay loyal to my husband.
"So, what have you been up too all this time? No one has seen you for a few years, long mission?" I ask, trying to bring the conversation away from flirting and towards simply being friends catching up.
He takes up a fake thinking position, with a hand on his chin as he looks up slightly in exaggerated thought.
"Well, technically I was on vacation." He reveals with a shrug.
"Really? Vacation? Like the village would let anybody in ANBU go on a four year vacation." I reply, dubious.
Shinobi aren't known to get a lot of vacation time after all, you either work or retire.
"Well, I guess they were convinced by my roguish charms?"
I just give his conclusion a deadpan stare and wait for him to give the actual reason. As expected it doesn't take him long to start speaking again, more honestly this time, though equally nonchalant, which almost stops me from reacting to his absurd words.
"Oh, I guess it could have had something to do with how I became a Sage now, I guess."
It still takes me a moment to process that but when I do I exclaim out in shock.
"What!?! A Sage? You're a Sage?"
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"You don't have to sound so shocked, is it really that surprising?" He says, having the gall to act as if Sages are just an everyday thing.
"Of course it's surprising! Only Hashirama and Jiraiya of the Sanin have ever been Sages!"
"Not true, you know Minato became a Sage too right?"
I did not know that, me and Kushina haven't really hung out much since Hana and I split up.
Still, since when was it so easy to become a Sage? Or maybe those two really are just in another league compared to the rest of us.
My thoughts are immediately derailed by Hana as he takes two large steps towards me, making me reflexively take one backwards, my back hitting the wall.
"What about you? How have you been these last years?"
I gulp down a breath as I'm reminded of the fact that I am alone and isolated with a man with whom I have some very complicated feelings for.
I force my posture to relax as I lean into the wall rather than standing against it and I cross my arms under my bust, only realising after the fact that it enhances my assets, but I don't want to back out so I act as if I didn't notice the way my change in posture drew his eyes.
I also make sure to push away the part of me that's happy about him still being drawn to me.
"Oh, you know, married life isn't all that interesting. I feel like I've been doing less missions and more house chores and cooking than anything else, but despite the rocky start, Shikaku and I are making it work."
I know it's a bitch move to bring Shikaku up like that, but I have to make it clear, I am married, we are over and I'm with Shikaku now. It's what you wanted anyway, isn't it?
The way he frowns briefly at the mention of my marriage sends a pang of pain through my heart.
I'm sorry, but this is the way things are.
"Cool, you and Kushina still hang out? What about your old flatmates? I can't imagine you're still living with Himiko."
I decide to not say anything about his blatant conversation change and go along with it instead.
"Well, to be honest, me and Kushina haven't talked much, I get the idea that she is upset with me about something but I don't know what. I still talk with Himiko though, we usually meet up with some other friends at least once a month."
He nods in response to my words and takes another step closer, leaving only an inch stopping our chests from touching. I studiously ignore the way my heart starts hammering in my chest and do my level best to keep my face passive.
We spend a moment just looking into each others eyes and I can't help the way I am drawn to them. Staring into his eyes is like falling into the ocean, so blue and deep and captivating.
"I really have missed you, Shino." He whispers to me in his deep husky voice and I can't help but shiver.
I don't trust my voice to answer, I don't even know what to say so I just hum in response, even as he takes one final small step, bringing our faces so, so close to one another.
I don't even realise when I moved but the next thing I know my arms are wrapped around his neck as I lean up to kiss him on the lips.
Lightning dances through my body as conflicting feelings rage in my body.
Then I feel his hand on my hip rising up and under my shirt. I quickly put my hand over his to stop it's advance.
Shivering, as I feel him start placing kisses on my neck, I whisper in a shaky voice.
"n-no, I-I can't."
He stops placing kisses on my neck to bring his mouth to my ear, lightly biting my earlobe he then whispers the five words that seal the deal.
"Then, tell me to stop."
I let go of his hand and let it continue it's journey to my breast.
He's right.
It's wrong but I can't. I just can't do it.
No matter what I say, I cannot deny the simple fact that I want this. That I've been dreaming of this.
Shikaku is good, but no one can match Hana.
Oh, Shikaku. I'm so sorry. Your wife is adulterous. I just can't say no to Hana.
I'm sorry.
I do love you, my husband.
But I love him as well.
I'm such a horrible person.
But if this feeling is what being horrible gets you.
I let out a long and loud drawn out moan from Hana's actions.
Then I am glad I'm horrible.
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A/N: He~llo! Dear readers!
I saw this in a hentai once. Ahem.
So, this was actually supposed to be, well, not this, but I can't help but keep lewding Yoshino, even if ive never done anything too explicit, since no one has bribed me yet.
That is honestly a surprise too, I thought you guys would be way hornier about getting a smut chap or two, but eh, whatever.
Also, some people commented about me making a pat/reon (Pretty sure the word is banned lol) But I already have a Ko-fi which to my knowledge is basically the same thing, so if you have some spare change and want to support little ol' me, please use the link below, I would be very grateful as I am not financially well lmao.
https://ko-fi.com/bored_works
https://discord.gg/Pj3Dttwses
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