It was time for the sun to rise, erasing the shadowy darkness. The sky was still dim, but the morning would soon dawn.
A pained groan came from the quiet bedroom.
“Ugh!”
Ian, who couldn’t overcome the pain, stood up and leaned against the bed. He frowned, and grabbed his chest.
Sweat beaded on his face, and contorted in pain. He let out a ragged breath.
“Ha!”
Even though he’d been groaning for a while, Ian grit his teeth as if he had no intention of calling for anyone.
If he cried out even once, the servants outside the room would immediately rush in, but his stubborn lips were closed tightly.
As long as it would take.
The sky brightened, and the morning had completely arrived.
“Haa, ha.”
Tap Tap
The sweat slowly stopped dripping, and Ian’s breathing gradually calmed down.
“[email protected] it!”
He spat out a short swear word, and wiped off his sweat.
“I can’t get used to this experience no matter how many times I go through it.”
Ian pressed the area near his chest with some strength due to the pain that still lingered there.
Six years.
It was a pain that had lasted for six years.
After he swallowed that strange liquid, it continued on like this. A life of suffering so much that he couldn’t breathe properly, night or day.
But the pain wasn’t the only thing wrong with Ian.
This pain always let him know that he could no longer dream of having Rachel by his side anymore.
Ian’s purple eyes turned red. He closed his bloodshot eyes tightly.
He missed Rachel already.
Ian tried to leave the room in a hurry as usual, but soon returned to his bed. It seemed that he really had to stay here today.
Yesterday, he told Rachel that he’d only visit every other day. Since he told her that, he couldn’t go see her today.
Ian’s body, which was sitting on the bed again, lost some of its strength.
“…Rachel.”
Ian’s eyes sank low, as if he was lost in thought. Even though he could have waited a few days to see her again, his anxiety was growing worse and worse.
“I’ve been an orphan since the day Mother abandoned me.”
When her mother came to visit her, Rachel firmly said.
“I don’t know why you came to see me now, but don’t come back again.”
On that day, Rachel was making a face that he’d never seen before. She, who always grinned foolishly, didn’t smile at all that day.
Rachel snapped at the woman who was reaching out to her, and stood up from her seat without any regrets.
“Since that day, our relationship has ended. I have nothing to say to you, and I don’t want to be around you. Don’t come back here.”
She handed over the money she’d saved so far, and severed ties with her mother.
The way she handed over the money wasn’t heartless to the end, so everything she said was even more sincere.
Rachel really broke it off that way.
Ian furrowed his brow slightly.
It seemed like Rachel would end up showing him the same face someday.
“I…”
When that day came, everything that he’d been holding on to would be over. He could never catch Rachel again.
Would he be able to endure that day? He was afraid.
A day where he would see the hatred in Rachel’s eyes as she looked at him, and that’s how it would all end. Then he would have to live his life without Rachel again. That thought scared him.
“Haaa”
He had a dream yesterday. A dream where Rachel disappeared again.
In his dream, she knew everything. Rachel left when she found out that he had memories of his past life.
She turned her back on him with a look of resentment, and he couldn’t do anything anymore.
***
A lot of time had passed, but Ian had never forgotten the day Rachel disappeared.
It was a summer day where the weather was perfect.
After he’d captured the dragon and received the title of Crown Prince, Ian called Rachel and Diana to the Imperial palace.
Diana was his fiancée. Rachel was his maid.
Ian, who’d become the crown prince, spent most of his time rebuilding the capital, and spent the rest of his time alone on the hunting grounds owned by the emperor.
The day that Rachel died was the day that Diana and Rachel visited the hunting grounds.
***
“Ian!”
Ian, who was slowly riding his horse through the hunting grounds, turned his head to look towards the voice that called out to him. His gaze landed on Rachel, who was walking slightly behind Diana.
Diana ran towards him while she waved happily, and Rachel followed slowly behind her.
Ian frowned slightly at the unexpected visit, but quickly changed his expression.
“What are you doing here?”
He dismounted from his horse, and greeted Diana.
“Tsk, Ian. Why is it so hard to see your face these days?”
Ian hesitated for a while, then smiled softly at Diana, who was wrinkling her nose as if she didn’t like something.
Diana grumbled quietly, but soon she smiled brightly. She seemed to have relaxed immediately after she saw Ian.
Ian wasn’t exactly happy about being disturbed at this time, but he swallowed his sigh.
“Ian, did you miss me too?”
Ian nodded slightly as his eyes stayed on Rachel for a while.
Rachel, who was bowing her head and turned away from them, looked to be in pain.
However, Ian’s gaze soon returned to Diana.
“Then let’s go back.”
“Already? I don’t want to, Ian. I want to see the hunting grounds too!”
Diana glowed as her eyes looked around the wide forest.
“There are many wild animals around the hunting grounds, so it would be dangerous.”
“But you’re here. You’ll protect me when I’m in danger, so I have nothing to worry about. Don’t you think so?”
Ian swallowed a small sigh, and soon nodded his head.
He didn’t think there would be a problem as long as they didn’t go in too deeply.
When Ian looked at Rachel, she still had her head bowed and said.
“…then I’ll be leaving now.”
Ian nodded silently. It was hard to see Rachel’s face.
Ian had been avoiding Rachel these days. He was distancing himself because he felt like he was going crazy from just looking at her.
The foolish girl had become more beautiful over time. Needlessly so.
Rachel’s eyelids, with their long lashes and upturned corners, moved slowly, like the fluttering wings of a butterfly. The shape of them was hard for him to take in.
He wanted just a moment to look into those eyes that were filled with the bluish green of summer.
Even though he knew that it wasn’t just foolish, but a crazy idea. He looked at her red lips, he thought it would be too bad to go crazy.
This cheeky girl.
Everytime she shook a person’s heart, she was blind to it, as if nothing had happened.
Her quiet eyes that were half covered by her eyelashes when they were lowered made it harder for him to read her thoughts, which caused him to be even more anxious.
Ian felt annoyed by Rachel lately, annoyed by everything, but lately it had gotten worse.
He wanted to find out what this mysterious girl was thinking, but he ignored her without knowing that she would never be able to return.
Even though he knew better than anyone else that it would be a fleeting happiness. He wondered if there was anything he had wanted more in his life than this woman.
Even then, he ended up pushing that thought away because he knew it was a choice that would make everyone unhappy in the end.
He’d made a vow to himself that he would be the one person no one would ever ignore again.
He’d lived his whole life being ignored for being a half-blood. He knew better than anyone that he needed to be accepted by the nobles.
It was too clear what choice he had to make to be recognized by those who valued bloodlines.
“You can’t.”
Rachel, who was trying to turn around, looked up at Diana’s words and looked at her.
“Where are you going while holding my fan and bag?”
Diana smiled in exasperation.
“You didn’t mean to take what’s mine again, did you? You still haven’t fixed that habit?”
Rachel bit her lip at Diana’s questions.
“Or were you going to make me hold it myself?”
Diana said, putting her hand on Ian’s arm.
“Don’t think about slacking off, and just follow me. I need someone to wait on me.”
Diana warned Rachel, pulled on Ian’s arm, and smiled cutely.
“Ian, come on.”
Ian wanted Rachel to go back, but he didn’t want to argue with Diana over it.
Because there was no end to the problems she would cause. Ian nodded and pulled on the reins of the horse.
***
Where the stream flowed.
“Wow, there’s a place like this in the forest?”
With Ian’s help, Diana got down off the horse, and looked around.
With a large meadow and a quietly flowing stream, Diana exclaimed that she found the perfect place for a picnic.
“Why are you standing there in a daze? Hurry up and put it down.”
“Are you going to put down the rug here?”
“I prepared a sandwich to eat with you, Ian.”
Ian couldn’t understand Diana’s idea of enjoying a picnic on a mat in the middle of this forest, where you never knew when wild animals could appear, but he nodded his head as if he understood immediately.
When Rachel took out the mat from the basket and spread it out, Diana gently sat on it.
“Ian, please sit down. I worked really hard on it.”
Diana, who took the picnic bag from Rachel, smiled gently as she took the sandwiches out of the bag. Of course, it was prepared by the Imperial palace chef for Diana’s outing, but that fact wasn’t important.
As Ian sat on the mat, Rachel took a few steps back and waited quietly for their picnic to end.
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After a long time, Rachel started to move little by little in place as if her legs hurt.