Chapter 30: 29

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A month.

That’s how a month passed.

However, despite searching all over the place, Rachel was no longer beside Ian.

***

“Prince.”

He knew reality.

“Ian Dakendov.”

Ian was standing in front of his father. His expressionless face seemed to be somewhat put together.

He looked like he hadn’t slept in a month. His eyes were red and bloodshot, his cheeks looked hollowed, and he seemed to have lost some weight.

“What are you doing?”

“….”

“I’m asking you what you’ve been doing with the Imperial knights for a month!”

Ian slowly dropped his gaze at the Emperor’s roar.

“What the hell are you doing looking for that woman?”

That woman. Ian slowly blinked at the words that were used for Rachel.

Ian knew that no matter how much time the Emperor gave him, he wouldn’t be able to answer his question. 

He didn’t know what he was going to do after he found Rachel. 

“So, will you put that woman in the position of Crown Princess? Or do you want her as your concubine?”

Ian still didn’t know what he wanted from Rachel.

He just felt like he had to find her.

Even if she was dead. He just wanted to find out.

“Did you at least love her?”

Only then did Ian’s breath burst out of his mouth at the Emperor’s words.

The Emperor, who was still looking down at Ian, raised the corner of his mouth as if it were funny.

“That’s enough silliness for now. This will all fade away in time, so let this business end here.”

The Emperor generously spoke again to his foolish son.

“Even that love, which seems to be everything in the world now, will fade in time. So forget about it.”

Ian knew it too.

Love was a useless emotion.

When that deadline passed, the distance in his eyes returned.

A useless feeling that only left regret. 

Wasn’t that exactly what he was? The ‘troublesome’ prince, who arose from the unbearable lust of the moment. Ian Dakendov.

He couldn’t help, but know how trivial the emotion of love was.

“The first prince, who’d started the rebellion, has died.”

The Emperor started speaking again.

The Emperor let out a deep sigh. The first prince, who’d led the revolt, had died. 

“Ha, don’t forget you’re the only prince in the empire now. Correct your actions.”

“…Yes.”

The Emperor frowned as if he hadn’t expected Ian’s simple answer.

He thought he’d make a lot of fuss about this, but Ian gave up faster than he expected.

“I’ll do that.”

Ian nodded his head.

He’d done everything he could. Nevertheless, Rachel couldn’t be found, and there was no other way to find her.

He had no choice, but to forget now. He couldn’t just sit around and be tied up in a situation that would not progress any further.

As the Emperor stated, he would forget her over time. It only bothered him since they’d spent so much time together.

He was just a little surprised because it was unexpected.

Even if it was love, it was a feeling that would pass.

She was a quiet girl anyway. Even if that girl disappeared from his life, nothing much would change.

He would still be an Emperor, whether he had a woman or not. When the time came, he wouldn’t even remember her. 

“Then, I’ll get going now.”

With a small bow of his head, the Crown Prince slipped out of the audience hall.

Thud Thud

His gait seemed quite tired, and he looked a little weak.

‘Love.’

It seems that this feeling of being irritated at the sight of that woman, and that time of being concerned about her, was love. He thought it would be softer and warmer, but his love for her was so fierce.

Ian’s breath became heavy because it started sooner than he’d thought. Would he ever be able to forget Rachel?

He sincerely hoped that everything would be forgotten, as the Emperor said.

“….”

Yeah, that would be better.

Because if it weren’t for that woman, there wouldn’t have been anything difficult for him. Ian couldn’t be more annoyed.

This was for the best.

***

Rachel was no longer with Ian, but his time went by as usual.

No.

It was much busier and faster than usual.

The war against the Sienna Empire.

It had been four years since he’d participated in the war. In four years, the war ended, and in the meantime Ian had become the Emperor.

Ian had been busy fighting the war. Afterwards he was busy restoring the territories, and various facilities that had been ruined during the war. 

“Your Majesty, there are documents that need to be approved.”

“For when?”

“I know it’s not due until next week, but can I give it to you today?”

“Okay, let’s do that.”

He didn’t remember exactly, but Diana was still around at the time that Rachel disappeared, but she went back to her territory soon after.

She said she was disappointed in Ian, and said that he didn’t love her. Thus, Diana returned to her territory, and their engagement ended like that. 

The war with the Sienna Empire started around that time, and kept Ian busier than ever.

As his father said, his love was gradually forgotten.

It was the emotion of the moment that caused Ian to worry needlessly, just as the Emperor had told him.

***

“Your Majesty?”

Hammond glanced back before leaving the room, and called out to him quietly. Ian immediately turned away from Hammond before he walked up as if it was nothing.

Hammond had noticed that Ian had always been like this.

Before taking a step, he always looked back as if he were checking for something. 

Did he become sensitive because he’d fought in the war for a long time? Or was it just his habit? 

“Your Majesty, did you know about this?”

“What?”

“Your Majesty, you always check behind you.”

“Me?”

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“Yes.”

Hammond copied Ian’s usual action.

“You didn’t realize?”

Despite Hammond’s kind explanation, Ian still seemed to have no idea.

“You always check like you’ve left something behind. You didn’t know?”

“…Do I?”

Ian soon turned away from Hammond, as if his interest had cooled down.

Hammond shut up when he realized that the Emperor no longer wanted to talk about this topic.

Somehow, Ian’s face seemed a little tired today. It was something he’d learned how to see after spending a long time with Ian.

“If you’re tired, Your Majesty, should we postpone the patrol?”

Hammond looked at Ian’s complexion, and asked carefully.

“It’s fine, so let’s do it the way we planned.”

Despite Hammond’s consideration, Ian shook his head lightly.

“Alright, then I’ll prepare the carriage. You can go get ready, then come out.”

Ian nodded slightly at Hammond’s words. 

***

After the mayor’s report was over, Ian approached Hammond, who was waiting for him.

“Will you be going back?”

“No, I want to walk for a little bit.”

“What?”

When Ian said he wanted to walk, this caused Hammond to frown. Did that mean he wanted to walk from here to the Imperial palace?

Wouldn’t that take an hour?

“Are you going to walk all the way to the Imperial palace?”

“Yes.”

Ian nodded slightly at Hammond’s question about whether he was really thinking of walking.

“Give me some robes.”

At his words, Hammond opened the carriage door. He didn’t know why, but Ian had been looking tired these days.

It seemed that he wanted to have some alone time. Hammond nodded, and handed over the robes to Ian.

“Then, I’ll go ahead first.”

“…Wait.”

Ian called Hammond back before he got in the carriage. 

“What happened to the girl?”

“What?”

“The girl I asked you to look for.”

Hammond blinked in confusion at Ian’s words.

“Are you talking about Rachel?”

Then he finally spoke up as if he finally realized what he meant. 

“…Yes.”

“I kept looking for her, but I didn’t find any information.”

“…I see.”

He nodded slowly.

Ian had continued to look for Rachel.

It was the month after Rachel had disappeared. Hammond had seen Ian during that time period.

He’d been out of his mind, but he seemed to have gotten better with time.

But he was still thinking about Rachel. 

Ian ordered Hammond to report to him if he found Rachel’s body. After that, he never brought it up again. 

So he thought he’d forgotten about it, but Ian was still thinking about her.

“Okay, you can go now.”

Ian said with a small motion with his chin.

Hammond nodded briefly, and got on the carriage. 

She had green eyes with brown hair. She was an impressive woman with green eyes that soaked in the sunlight. 

Rachel.

She was beautiful. He’d taken an interest in Rachel for a time, though he quickly gave up on her after a harsh glare from Ian.

For Hammond, Rachel was an attractive woman.

Ian warned him that if he wasn’t going to marry Rachel, then he should just give up right away if he was only going to play around with her for a while, or else he’d kill him.

How chilling he was then.

Since then, Hammond avoided Rachel for fear of being caught by Ian.

“She’s probably dead.”

It had already been five years since Ian cut down all the trees in the hunting ground, and overturned the Empire to find her.

But they couldn’t find even the hem of her clothes, let alone her body. 

He thought the Emperor had forgotten.

“It wasn’t a big deal, so he should’ve just forgotten about it.”

Why couldn’t he forget?

Hammond was fine on that day, and he was good now. Well, as far as Rachel was concerned. 

He thought Ian was very foolish.

***

The Capital Square. 

A fountain located in the middle of the square.

Ian wandered around that fountain blankly. 

‘Should I turn back?’

Ian recalled what Hammond had said. It was probably a habit that Rachel created.

It had already been a long time since that girl had disappeared, but he still couldn’t escape from his thoughts of her.

In reality, Ian knew it.

That he hadn’t forgotten Rachel in all this time.

“….”

When Rachel was young, she sat here and waited for him.

He was confident that he’d find her if she’d just waited.

He didn’t think she’d be waiting for him this time.

Maybe. She was dead. 

Funnily enough, it took five years to accept this fact. 

Was it because he’d taken a wrong turn, and couldn’t find Rachel?

If she’d been attacked by wild animals, they would’ve found a dead body. None of her clothes had come back into his hands.

Therefore

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That was probably why he couldn’t abandon his unrequited love until now. It was better to think that she was alive somewhere, because it made it at least bearable and he didn’t feel so sad.

‘Sadness?’

Yeah. Ian was terribly sad that Rachel was no longer around him. To the point where he didn’t want to accept reality.

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