Chapter 5: Chapter 4: First impression

“Cheep!” [Whoa!]. With a small jolt, I land softly in someone's arms.

Laying on my side in my savior’s arms I hear a hushed giggle from above me. “Watch out my little bird, can’t have you hurt on your first day.” She says with a somewhat mature but sweet voice.

I look up to see the face of my savior and I instantly recognize the dark violet hair and golden eyes. ‘The warm lady!’ Also, it is barely visible but ‘wow...’ An almost unnoticeable tiny little smile adorns her face, brightening her otherwise stoic look. Never have I seen someone this beautiful. 

Entranced, I stare for a bit before a thought passes my mind. ‘Wait where did she come from? Has she been here the whole time? Uh-oh, I never noticed her! That's not good, this must her bedroom. I can’t believe I was so distracted that I never looked over the bed frame. ah! Got to thank her for catching me.’

“Chirp~” [Thanks~]. I try to put my all into my word of gratitude, but it just comes out as a delighted bird sound. ‘I hope she understands.’ Her expression unchanging she stares at me for a moment, then her eyes look away as if in thought… She frowns. 

‘Wha? Why the face? Is she sad? Is she mad? Is something wrong, what happened? What did--... Did I do something bad?’ I reflected back on what I did.

‘Oh no… Oh no! She must have come from the bed, so she was sleeping. And I just… just jumped and ran around making a ton of noise like some kid lucky enough to get extra food for the night.’ I hiss in air and make an audible gulp. I feel my heartbeat quicken from the implications.

I look at her again when she shakes her head before returning her smile. Something about that smile feels wrong.

‘That smile… I know that smile, it's just like Liz said. They just smile to make us relax before they punish us.’ I feel my eyes wetten as I see the connection between her and my previous experiences. 

‘But she said she won’t hurt me today,’ I think in false relief. ‘But if not today… What about tomorrow or in the future?’ I curl inwards hearing my drumming heart and my wet blurring eyes. 

‘She is threatening me just like… Like before.’ Tears begin rolling down my cheek wettening my fur.

She tightens her grip around me.

‘No, not again. Not again! I’m stupid. Stupid! I fell for the same trick again. Just because a kind looking lady comes to me with open arms I think that everything will be ok now.’ I begin shivering, remembering the pain we had to endure after signing the so-called ‘adoption papers’. And with Liz missing I am not sure if I can take it a second time.

“Aww, did the fall surprise you? Everything is alright little one I got you.” The lady cooes in a sickly tone claiming ownership of me, hugging me even tighter removing any hope for escape as she walks towards her bed.

‘Stupid! Stupid! I’m such an idiot! Why would I ever think I would be free of pain? I was born in pain, I lived in pain so of course in a new body I will live in pain again.’ I belittle myself trying to throw my anguish out on anything. 

Her arms still encircle me as she lies on her bedrest with me on her lap so she knows exactly where she got me.

‘And I’m even dumber since I woke her up, jumped on her furniture and almost damaged her table with my new hands.’ Remembering how they handled kids damaging their stuff I see the true horror of my situation so I plead. “Whimper…” [Please, Please don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me, I'll be a good girl, I won’t do it again. Please…] I beg her on repeat, saying anything I have learned that lessens the punishment.

“Arcadia above.” The lady exclaims in a darker tone. “Why are you quivering so much?” She asks herself. I feel her slowly stroking my back as my fur rises with a chill as a cold sweat runs down my back from my oppressor’s touch ready to hurt me with her large hands.

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[I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll stop quivering, just don’t hurt me please I beg you] I cry in fear of pain, willing to do anything to avoid the same fate as my last life. But my whimpering body betrays me, I’m simply too terrified for my body to relax.

She tightens her embrace around me as I worry that she will go back on her promise and begin choking me.

My throat feels dry and hoarse, my lungs ache to reach a breath it never gets and my head hurts as angst makes my head run a mile a minute. I hear her saying something but the only thing I make out is the negativity in her voice.

[Please god, please stop shivering. No more. I don’t want to hurt anymore! I’ll do anything, I will work hard, I won’t complain, I will be a good obedient girl. please ju—] A great pure white blinds my eyes as I hear a loud crack coming from myself. I imagine a door being forced open when suddenly a tidal wave of emotion washes through it emptying my mind. I feel every integrite detail of the emotions. Confusement, sadness, a bit of intriguement but most of all concern a lot of concern. 

The wave pokes and prods with care on every part of my being as if asking if I am okay.  It interrupts my thoughts and floods out all my own emotions leaving me stunned but clear-minded. 

Dumbfounded and unable to comprehend my quickly changing state I stare up at her. With a clearer mind I for the first time I really feel her slow caring pet on my back and her warm safe embrace. With it I am finally able to stop shivering as I relax in her gentle embrace.

“Don’t worry Tuuli.” She stops petting me. I blink my eyes and tilt my head wondering whose name that is, tears still covering my furry cheeks. She carefully wipes away the remaining tears in my eyes as she gently caresses the side of my head. I delight in her care, letting my head relax in her large smooth hands. “Yes, that's you, Tuuli. Your name is Tuuli. No matter what you are afraid of, I will take care of you. You are safe, no one will harm you.” I feel the emotions behind her every word, the pure concern and unrequited love move me to my core. I've never felt this way with anyone else but Liz.

With that realization, all my remaining doubts about her being my tormentor vanish, and that void is instead filled with absolute glee at the prospect of spending time with her and perhaps becoming friends. So after panic, sadness, distress, confusion and seeing and feeling my best friend’s and my own demise. I let go of everything. I press into her embrace as close as possible and weep my worn heart out.

I wail and cry in her embrace, fat tears rolling down my cheeks, trying to let go of all pain I’ve had to carry on my shoulders. She gently pampers me with slow strokes and whispers sweet nothings to assure me that everything will be okay. 

While basking in her feelings, I couldn't help but think that in the past I would never have imagined someone seeing me in this light. Her lingering concern, her warm fulfillment and her habitual curiosity, gently nurtures my spent heart. 

For a while we lay there as she gives me all the time I need for my crying to dwindle. My last few tears fall on my now very wet cheeks and I see that the lady’s white nightgown hasn't fared any better. A large dark spot has formed on her midriff, my ears fall flat in guilt. That is no way to repay someone as kind as her. I reluctantly pull back from her comforting embrace and look at her with my fluffy ears down flat against my head and my head bowed in an attempt to apologize. 

“There won't be any of that.” She quickly prods my head up again before I can bow. “I’m just happy you’re feeling better. I don’t know what happened but I promise you that I will always be by your side ready to help you. No matter if you need another hug, someone to talk to or someone to protect you. I will always be here for you.” Her eyes twinkle with adoration as she gazes at me with her golden eyes.

“Tweet” [Thank you]. I try to respond but sigh inversely when I hear what comes out and instead just snuggle into another hug. “You are welcome.” 

She reaches out to pet on top of my head for the first time, but hesitates. Feeling her uncertainty and with my own curiosity, I press my head and ears against her hand instead.

As her hand begins running between my ears, I feel her warm emotions spike. I was a bit uncertain. I never had any good experiences with people petting my head but her caress is actually very pleasant. The sensation is somewhere between getting an itch scratched that you never knew you had and getting your head cooled down after a hot day. 

She radiates total fulfillment as she pets me and a bit of curiosity as she slowly moves to scratch me behind my ears. ‘Ohhh wow.’ The pleasant sensation explodes tenfold throughout my body, making my tongue lull out. ‘that is- Yaaaas~. Right there soo good. A little to the lef- ah~.’ I begin to purr and the vibrations from my throat removes the last of my resistance as I melt into pudding in her arms. I get a short glimpse of her with the largest smile I have ever seen on her, before I completely melt into fluff pudding.

‘She’s nice.’

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