A (Not So) Simple Fetch Quest

Chapter 81: Chapter 76: Exasperation


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I hadn't won that fight, but at least I'd got a good crop of skills from it. Nevertheless, I felt I should concentrate more on winning than skills. I needed to beat a hundred of those demons to afford the single experience potion, never mind everything else I wanted to buy, while I'd have all my skills maxed in a few dozen fights at the rate things were going.

I could probably farm those giants by hitting them with a burst of flame breath the moment the fight started. It wouldn't net me any skills, but I could probably beat ten of them per hour. Or alternatively, the skill gains might let me farm higher level demons, and hence earn the money I needed more quickly.

Once again, I was left wondering why the process of grinding needed to be so complicated. There was probably some optimal combination of skill gains and enemy choices that would get me where I needed to go with the greatest speed. I also suspected that the time required to work out that optimal combination was significantly greater than the time I would save compared to a less optimal route.

In the end, optimality wasn't the deciding factor. Boredom was. I didn't want to fight the same monster a thousand times in a row, and hence I found myself staring down a giant brain as my left arm tightly gripped my right, as I desperately battled to stop myself from plunging a spider claw dagger into my eye socket.

Mind magic nullification advanced to level 28

The floating brain had even coaxed me into pulling it out of my item box, which was a neat trick. Not only had I not even noticed what it was doing until I turned the blade on myself, but it knew about item box, and that I had weapons in there.

"I know all your secrets. Victory will be mine."

Right. Obviously. The giant brains are telepathic and can rip memories from my head. Even more cleanly than the giant centipede too; when he was accessing my memories, I knew it. With this one, I hadn't even noticed. But if it's reading my mind, doesn't that mean it also knew how wrong this floor is?

...

No response. What had the dragon said? Not all the Goddess' pawns were granted the freedom to recognise their predicament. Then, despite mind reading abilities, this brain wasn't allowed to recognise how messed up its situation was.

I couldn't help but feel bad for the demons. I hadn't done before, but after the fox-kin revelation, I was feeling far less sanguine about this place.

"I do not desire your pity. I desire your death."

That's nice, but so far, you aren't doing a very good job.

Mind magic nullification advanced to level 29

I put another burst of effort into forcing back my traitorous arm, and the dagger slowly retreated from my eye. Eat that, giant brain. Time for my counterattack.

"I will devour your pride along with your mind."

The arena swam, as if I was viewing everything from the bottom of a deep pool of water. The jeering of the crowds quietened and distorted. My skill based senses simply switched off. Even my olfactory perception twisted, displaying ghosts all around me.

I felt pressure on my back, and it took me far longer than it should have to work out that I'd fallen over. I was lying on the ground, staring up at the ceiling, as the brain floated over me, rippling and shimmering in my distorted sight. I pulled a sword out of my item box and jabbed upwards, hitting nothing. It stabbed up in the corner of my vision, far away from the brain I was aiming at. A brain that was now far bigger than I remembered. Was it lowering itself towards me?

Giving up on sight, I swung wildly, not bothering to aim. I still didn't hit anything. I attempted to stand, or even just to roll, but my movements were so uncoordinated that I failed to shift myself. How the heck could this brain mess me up this badly through my mind magic nullification?

I felt something touch my forehead, and opened my eyes to see the brain hovering only twenty centimetres above me, close enough to see clearly even through the distortion. A bundle of tentacles had sprouted from it, approaching my face, and I was powerless to move out of the way.

"Really? Tentacle bondage this time?" I muttered. Still, it had been a while since my last monster bondage experience. I supposed I was overdue another one.

"Physical restraints are not required. You will writhe uselessly as I feast."

A pair of the tentacles plunged into my eyes, ripping the balls from the sockets, tossing them aside, then stabbing into the brain behind. Exactly as the demon had predicted, I writhed uselessly on the floor as it... did whatever the heck it was doing. From the noises, I suspected it was liquefying and slurping up my brain. Obviously, having my brain eaten didn't do anything to help me escape the situation.

Mind magic nullification advanced to level 30

No evolution, but I knew I lacked achievements. Given that the mind controlling tree didn't use mind magic, it wouldn't count, so I'd only had the demon brains since the nullification evolution. Tiering up to immunity would require two more.

I had something more immediate to worry about than skill evolutions, though. I pushed myself up onto my arms, then threw up, vomit splashing over both me and the base of the statue, where I had, at some point, respawned. I didn't even remember it happening. Having my brain eaten while I was conscious was definitely going onto my most unsettling experiences list. I wasn't even sure how much of the last few seconds had been real, the result of brain-damage induced delirium, or injected by hostile mind magic.

No way was I fighting one of those again. Not until I evolved my skill.

In fact, I didn't feel like fighting anything for a while. It was time for something more peaceful. I travelled back to the first floor and made my way to my old cavern, dawdling through the forest of crystal trees and listening to the buzzing beetles. Most importantly, there was nothing with mind magic, and everything was reassuringly weaker than I was. There wasn't a single monster I could pick up with perceive presence.

I entered the crevice that led to my original respawn cave and pulled out my pickaxe. This was going to take a while, but that was fine. I needed the break.

Mining advanced to level 6

If there was such a thing as fear tolerance, why couldn't I get a disturbance tolerance? Something to numb the unsettling feelings when distinctly inhuman things happened to me. At least my zombie twin had the decency to wait until I was dead before eating my brains.

Mining advanced to level 7

I didn't recognise half of the names on the list of possible arena opponents. What if one of them turned out to specialise in soul magic?

Mining advanced to level 8

Perceive presence reacted, picking up a spider queen sized presence rapidly approaching. With a sigh and a downcast expression, I stored my pickaxe and hurried outside, not wanted to fight in the restricted space of this crevice.

Or at least, I tried to make it outside. The crevice entrance turned out to have been covered by invisible webbing. Then the spider queen sized presence was quite likely the spider queen. I knew she could fire her webs at extreme range, so I'd been careless there. Fortunately, she was still at a distance, leaving me time to burn my way out and take to the air. I'd wasted a third of my mana, and was still slightly gummed up with web, but I was confident in my ability to run away if needed.

"This seems like a lot of effort to go to for kidneys," I called.

There was no response other than a storm of icicles, which at least let me pinpoint the spider queen's location. I targeted her with a burst of flame, burning away her ice magic before it reached me. Her magic was far weaker than the ice demon I'd faced earlier.

Master dodger advanced to level 27

She dodged my flame, attacking again with webbing. I easily flew out of the way, then dived. I needed to be closer to stand any chance of flaming her, and taking repeated shots would run me out of mana.

She'd laid another trap. Another invisible web tied between the crystal trees. I barrelled into and through it, but it tangled my arms and wings and I crashed badly into the floor. My blunt damage nullification saved me from broken bones, it not having been a supersonic impact, but things weren't looking good.

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Why couldn't I use my own webs that effectively in combat?

"This isn't for kidneys," hissed the spider queen. "This is for pride."

"Pride? Look, I'm sorry for blighting the fox-kin. I legitimately feel bad about it now, but at the time I really didn't have any choice."

"This has nothing to do with the vulpes. It's that."

She pointed with a leg straight at my crotch.

"Huh?"

"Your abilities have always been strange, but recently I must admit that you've surpassed yourself. The wings and breath of a dragon. Blighted eyes. Mutated skin. My webs. Imagine my surprise when I caught you last, feeding on your half petrified body, and discovered that you'd gained a poor copy of my silk glands. Not only did you erase my food source, but you used me as a mere tool to improve your power. I don't know how you did it, but I'm sure you can see why I might be irritated."

Okay, not my crotch. My spinneret. The one I pretend doesn't exist. "If it helps, that wasn't by choice, and I'd quite like to not have it," I muttered.

The queen was right in front of me, and I had enough mana to spit more fire, but I could see her twitching. She was ready to dodge at the first sign of me moving. I was standing, but my wings were too gummed up for me to fly, which meant there was no getting away. I couldn't outpace her on foot, nor dodge her webs. For the best chance of hitting her, I should turn myself into a bomb again, before she had the chance to web up my mouth.

And suddenly, with her standing in front of me, I didn't want to kill her. We were never friends, but we worked together. Yes, she used to eat the fox-kin, but now she was protecting what was left. Admittedly, that was mostly in the hopes of them repopulating the cavern so that she could eat them again, but even so...

"If you're interested, the way this power works is that I gain new abilities when I befriend or deal with monsters. I have no control over what I get, so it's not like I deliberately stole your webs."

The pair of us glared at each other, each waiting for the other to make a move, before I sighed and relaxed.

"You know what? I don't care. I'll let you have this one, if you really feel my spinneret is some sort of horrible insult to your honour. But the next time you come after me, I'll do everything I can to kill you. Come web me up or whatever."

I activated trigger respawn, in case she had any tricks I wasn't aware of. A kiss of sleep would be troubling, for example. She approached somewhat nervously, apparently not trusting me to keep my word, before plunging her fangs into my neck.

Poison immunity advanced to level 36

In our training session, her kiss of paralysis left me unable to even blink. The last time she'd hit me with it, I could clumsily move and make noises. This time, it slowed me down substantially, but I could still move. As her nervousness declined and she shoved me to the floor and started wrapping my feet, I realised she hadn't even noticed.

I raised my least gummed up arm and gave her a flick from behind, bursting into laughter at her resulting panic as she leapt into the air and spun around.

"I've not been idle all this time, you know. I've been getting stronger. Don't assume your venom still has the same effect."

Queeny responded with a hiss, going back to wrapping without a word, but now keeping a closer eye on what my arms were doing.

"Which reminds me; my blood is poisonous now. You might want to drain me before eating too much."

I paused as I watched her wrap my knees, when another thought occurred to me. "I wonder if I've got mentally stronger too, or just more broken?" I muttered, again receiving no response. "What about you? You mentioned hearing the fox-kin's theories about the world ending, but had you heard about the world's beginning?"

"Yes, and I don't believe that stupid story any more than I do the world ending," she answered, this time deigning to reply.

"I can't say anything about when this world was created, but I'm fairly sure you weren't there at the start of it. The cavern you lived in was occupied by wolves and other monsters. You appeared along with the jungle when I repaired the shrine."

"What are you talking about? I've always lived in that jungle, and I remember you repairing the shrine."

"Memories are funny things. It's obvious something has been messing with them, and I'm not talking about the giant centipede or floating demon brains. I wonder if mine have been messed with too?"

The spider queen looked up from where she was making very sure my arms were pinned tightly to my sides. "More broken," she said.

"Huh? Oh, you mean my mental state."

"You are talking politely to me, being completely cooperative as I bind you ready for consumption. That's not strong; it's broken."

That made me laugh again. "That's your own fault. Your silk feels so nice against my skin. Being wrapped up like this is totally sexually arousing."

The spider queen looked up once more from where she was wrapping my breasts, then looked down again and bit.

Poison immunity advanced to level 37
Piercing damage nullification advanced to level 25

"Shit," I swore, breathing heavily as her kiss of pain sent its burning heat throughout my body. But even that had lost its potency, and within seconds it had died down to a pleasantly warm tingling. Had she chosen somewhere less sensitive to bite than my boob, that could have been enjoyable too.

...Yup, she was right. I'm broken.

She must have noticed my grin, because when she next glanced up proficient empath picked up a burst of exasperation.

"I give up," she said. "You are not supposed to be enjoying this. Broken indeed."

She hopped off me, having cocooned me as far as my neck, and started walking away.

"Hey, wait!" I called. "You can't just leave me like this!"

"Yes, I can. Knowing that you're enjoying yourself strips it of all value for me."

"Aww. We could have been friends with benefits. You get kidneys, and I get... tied up and eaten? Yeah, you're definitely right about being broken."

The spider queen merely hissed and vanished between the crystal trees.

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