Chapter 19: Chapter 004 : What It Takes To Be A Braver, Part.5 (End)

. . . Prior to the venture, at the time of a shining moon. . .

 

While I was just enjoying my nap, there comes many sounds of static objects being dropped and ushered to dust, making me now half-awake from my bed. 'Ngh, what's with all the ruckus?'

 

*Whirl*

 

There sits Rudy just at the end of his bedside, sitting while making some Earthen objects from his hands.

Rudeus :"Tch, another blunder"

 

Seeing as he is still focusing, doing his thing, I figure it's best I greet him from my bed.

Me :"*Yawns*. Rudy-"

 

Rudeus :"Eek!". Despite what I thought to be the most correct decision, it flops and he looks at me surprised. "*Sighs*. That got me jumping, you rascal"

 

I roll my eyes, as I really don't want to hear that from the one who woke me up at night.

Me :"Whatever. So, what are you making?". As I approach him, he hesitantly covers for his thing, and it seems as though he's shy of having them seen. "Look, I'm not going to judge you, I'm just curious"

 

He glances at his things, before looking at me for reassurance, as his eyes show signs of concern.

Rudeus :"… Will you laugh if I told you I'm making anime figurines?"

 

Discerning at someone's hobby and saying cruel things isn't really my kind of thing, as I too have some of my own that only a handful knows back from Earth, and learn to keep it respectful and appreciate their own quality activities.

 

And since he is my tutor in all Schools of Attack Magic until our 'official' teacher comes, it's not far off that he's able to do such a thing with his understandings of Earthen magic, and possibly his own from Earth.

Me :"Laugh? I'd be damn impressed if you're capable of that"

 

His face got a little red, as he wipes his nose like having a recognition after such a long time of being rejected over and over, only knowing disappointment from his past.

Rudeus :"Ahahaha… You're joking, aren't you?". He glares at me again, now dead set on whether I am telling the truth or is just feigning ignorance before I get my chance to look it up.

 

As to calm him down, I close my eyes for a bit, and stares at him with no signs of lie being inside.

Me :"Why Should I?"

 

He widens his eyes as he drops his head to the floor while having some time to think for himself.

He then repositions his seat to where I can see what they are, and it turns out to be just as he said : Anime Figurines, and other stuff reminiscent of the modern era.

Ranging from girls wearing sailor's outfit to men in suits, planes similar to Boeing series and city-traversal helicopters, two-seated bicycles and long seated chopper motorbikes, family sedans and most fully, A Truck that is the most detailed of them all.

 

While I am in utter awe of his makings, he sighs heavily as he lifts his head to the ceilings before looking at me, all Stoic and restless.

Rudeus :"I think I told you about whether you remember experiencing a crashing incident by a running truck, didn't I?". His question with no humoring tone left me embezzled as I know this thing is pretty personal, as I too figured out this is the cause of his death, and nods silently. "Well, what I didn't tell you, is why I got myself in the middle of it"

 

I remembered what he said a day or two back then when I try to make him quit pretending to be a normal child.

Me :"Oh Yeah, you were in Japan by that time you did, right?"

 

The aura slowly got odd and slimy, and that is coming from Rudy's direction as he is reminiscing about a past he doesn't want to see again.

Rudeus :"… It is, and let's just say that, I am not the best brother of family one could have"

 

The atmosphere is making me choke on the air, and I try to pick up a few good points of his to calm him down naturally.

Me :"I don't see that in you, your teachings and behavior just seems to be normal, and I feel a little bit safe even after telling that I'm a Reincarnate to you"

 

Rudeus :"And I thank you for that, but please, keep this story of mine, just for the two of us. Will You?". His eyes start to furrow as he isn't in the right mind for being relaxed.

 

This is a first for me, and I don't want to know the aftermath of provoking his emotions for now.

Me :"*Gulp*. I Promise, both as Soldier Linap of NKRI and child Eynor of the Greyrat noble family". I hold my chest with my clenching right fist, as I show to him my honor as a person of both world.

 

He tilts his head to his bedside, as he looks at his Earthen objects through his gap in his front hair.

Rudeus :"*Sighs*. Well then, hope you'll be able to swallow this up"

 

And so, time passes by as he tells me the details of what happened in a certain night, the time of the night where he dies.

 

.

. .

. . .

 

He explained to me what happened that night, and while it isn't really the most hardcore sob story I've ever heard, it just doesn't compare to when I get to meet who died, and why he is the way he is right now.

 

Rudeus :"And there you have it!

A miserable existence that got kicked out of his house because of enjoying his 'private' time instead of burdening a part of his 'private' life, got his old and young siblings their hands dirty by dragging and kicking him out in a rainy night, night walking as I don't even know 'Hello Work' while being the ugliest and smelliest rotten being, and just when I thought this could get better, a trucker is asleep as 3 high schoolers is standing in the middle of the road, making me try to cry out for them to get away, but my voice just couldn't after no proper communication with any human being whatsoever, and that led me to half-assedly try to push all of them but just able to barely keep one of them away.

And I died in some hospital, before hearing Zenith's scream as she births us two". His long sentences kept me focused the whole time, chasing his story as I swallow up the petty and shitty events that led to his death before being a Reincarnate. "… So you think I deserved all that? All those damned pieces of Shit, just from me trying to-"

 

I hug him as I understand how hard it is for him, and how much of a joke he must be perceived to be such a person, since my generation fare off worse than he does.

Me :"It's OK, You've Had It Rough, Brother"

 

*Crickets*

 

My back is feeling his hands tightening themselves around me, as my shoulder is starting to get wet.

Rudeus :"I… *Sniffs*. Why Am I Such A Depraved Chump…?". He is swelling up on the inside, angry at himself.

 

Many times this has happened, many times this could have been prevented, and I can only give him the care he needed after a long time neglecting both his beloved and himself.

Me :"Sh~h… You're just forced to be one, Rudy, I know it-"

 

Rudeus :"The- *Hiccup*, Then… Even Then, Do You… Still Want 5o Be My Brother?". Another question again, one that I from the past might not want to answer in such a long time with such people like him.

 

As an orphan, I always choose who I got close to, and the closest I've been is with the Faceless members, and while I do enjoy being with them, it's not like I can go and say that I love them before dying.

This time, even though the soul of my brother isn't at such a good place, I don't want to replace him I want for him to know that no matter how sickly you can be, you can amend to them.

 

And I Will Not Distance Myself, when I finally get to have a real blood-tied family, especially a Brother that got himself being in such a dark place that he think he deserves to be in with all the wrongdoings he've done.

Me :"Yeah, and I won't have it any other way". But even then, we both got a New Chance at life, and Changes, is all there for us to take and walk on.

 

Rudeus :"*Sniffles*. Khh… Uwaah!!". I hold him as much as I can as I comfort him from accepting the end of his previous life.

 

*Ker-chak*

 

The door is opened with all the adults gathering in front of our room, concerned over our wellbeing, even Aunt Lilia, though she's not as worried as our parent does it.

Paul and Zenith :"Kids? / Rudeus?". Waking up from their slumber, the bags under their eyes are still present but they choose to get up and leave their bed for us two.

 

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*Sobbing*

 

Rudy's crying only got harder, and it is also the first time I've heard him cry since our Reincarnation, from being a baby with him together.

Me :"Shh~, it's okay. He got a scary nightmare, Mother, Father". Without further ado, they crouch doen to us, and hug each other to calm down Rudy.

 

That night, it felt like something got off Rudeus' back, and I am glad to know that he got better the next day… and that was the moment I knew, that he is still a little kid in a man's body.

My heart is not happy to hear how deplorable he is as a human being, but thing is, No One Should Walk A Bleak Path, as everyone deserves closures that they dreamed off or want at moments before their passing… And unfortunately, we both got our own selves the half of what we wanted before our New Beginning.

 

As his brother, as a former orphan, I will give it my utmost to ensure one does not outlive the other, as I too want to experience life together with him.

 

And I Won't Have It Any Other Way.

 

. . .

. . . Present time. . .

. . .

 

*Whoom*

 

Awakened from my episodes of the past, I stretch open my eyes as it feels like there's dust gathering on my face. 'That sound… It's something familiar… Rudeus?'

 

Facing up, it seems as though I'm in a tent of some kind with lighted candles and two person attending to me.

 

What I expect was being at home, but I don't really remember what happened as I am still gathering my thoughts.

Ethan :"Hey, are you… ?". The Cleric / Tanker of Sir Greg's party is now currently applying Healing to me, and his hand radiates the lights of serene, calming green. "Phew, 'tis means me job's done. Yer two go  on and talk yaself".

 

With him saying that, his hand stops but turns out that there's another light still Healing me, but this one is more radiant and bright, like the difference of a water bottle and a bucket, possibly meaning more Mana being exhausted just to Heal me.

 

*Who~p*

 

And now that the light is gone, my vision speculates the figure who is the last of the bunch. Since I taught Roya on about magic just a little, I figure that after the bright spot in my eyes are gone, I'll be seeing the eyepatch on his face.

 

But No, it was another figure that I am always beside with, Rudeus.

Rudeus :"… Hey… Eyn… ". His face is quite restless from what would seem to be a brunt he've take a hit off. "… Thanks to you, Me and Laws' still alive"

 

His words brought me back to what have caused me to be in this situation : the Mana-beast extermination quest.

At that time, I knew something was off with how the 'Boar' just run without at least scooping us out for some seconds, and it almost managed to ram Mister Laws before I send him with a Wind 'Shockwave'  magic that sends us two and him far off from its front.

 

I know a thing or two about dealing with wildlife in general, but nothing can compare to how different it is despite it almost being the same wild pig I know off. Its tusk was 2 as it faced upwards, eyes red with the black pupils in the middle filled with blood-lust for any living being, ravage sharp-teeth drooling with blood of any other remnants it chowed down before us, and its body abnormally large and is just unfit to live normally.

 

When I think about it, Mana as a whole, is a two-sided coin. You can use it against something, and other is able to do the same.

If living creatures, humans or not, is affected by Mana and makes us change into something other, shouldn't it be the same to dead objects?

What about the weather, wouldn't it be shimmering ice spikes at times?

How about the mass of lands, isn't it not too far off if one is able to fly?

The resources, if they too contains Mana, at what point something is… Mana-less?

 

*Ba-dump*

 

These kind of thoughts… They build up inside and terrorizes me as time goes on, as it might be a sign of the connection of our old world and this current one.

 

I lift my hand, and I see a very harsh burn on them with the calluses almost being visible despite my age, and I remember what action I took just some hours ago that caused this impact.

As Mister Laws' bow is thrown to my side, my memories of picking it up and drawing an arrow comes into play, even though there is none to be put on. As crisis closes in on the elf, I make an arrow on the spot, a replication of the last shot he took with my own settings, and came up with quite a dense metal arrow and enhances his spell, 'Spiraling Burst', as I try to recreate the chanting in my head and strengthen it with my Battle Aura.

 

Those moments of adrenaline rush… it has been quite some time, and I am none too eager to experience it again in another short time.

Me :"… Rudy?". My throats are dry, but I still talk my way through with me wanting to feel safe, somehow. "That is… you, isn't it?"

 

He lift his head from regret of just not being able to make me feel better.

Rudeus :"Yeah… what's up?"

 

I don't know why, but somehow, I feel another feeling that I haven't experienced after my 1st death.

Me :"… Can you come closer?". He walks up to me and sits just beside me.

 

I touch him where he is hurting, from face to body, and I know that it is real.

 

*Puff*

 

I hug him tightly, with me now being petty like how he used to feel that night.

Rudeus :"… Eyn? You OK-"

 

Me :"No… NO, I AM NOT OKAY!". I harden my grip as I releases my pent up stress from our life or death situation."I'm afraid…". My eyes is letting out tears, and I rest my head to his shoulder. "*Sniff*. I don't want to die, Rudy… Uwaah!!". I finally cry, crying from the lingering dread of seeing death in front of you when you had so much to do in this living plane.

 

Rudeus :"*Hiccup*. Uwaah!!". He tighten his hands around me, trying to comfort each other.

 

We didn't notice that the adults, including Father Paul, is just outside the tent as they feel as if they's only intrude on our quite moment.

 

*Sobbing*

 

It was at this moment, that I get to learn what it really feels to be a human again, and unfortunately, it is having Fear of Not Achieving Your Dream Closure.

 

. . .

. . .

. . .

 

After our crying had stopped, it was time for us to go back home and wave goodbye at everyone, but I feel as if we'll be meeting them again in the near-future, whether its here or out there when venturing out again.

 

The beast savagery had stopped for now, and it is quite common for scenes like ours to happen in the wild, and I finally understand that this world isn't going to let the weak alive, and I don't want to be weak like this day again.

 

And so until the moment comes where we two are adults again, I want to be able to defend myself, and I am offered by Mister Laws' afternoon session for learning Bowmanship, which I appreciate the most as I want to cherish a thing or two that I inherited from my past.

 

For the current moment, there isn't much point of interest, until the days comes by that we get to meet a certain traveler, searching for pupils to teach for.

 

. . .

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