Chapter 17: Chapter Seventeen: I Ain’t Afraid of No Slime

When Jess arrived at the gate, the old farmer was already waiting for her. He sat atop a small cart that was being led by two donkeys. His white, wispy hair seemed to glow in the sun as he watched people pass by with a thoughtful expression on his face. He might even have been mistaken for a scholar had he not been wearing dusty plaid overalls. The loose trimmings of straw about his person gave away his true vocation. As did the cheap though well-loved cart that he sat upon. The wheels were tired-looking and worn, and the paint was faded, but the carefully inscribed pattern of interlocking flowers and wheat remained.

“Alright there, Miss,” he hailed her as she approached.

“You must be Farmer Hewitt,” Jess replied.

“That I am, Miss,” he replied with a smile before moving over on the seat to make room beside him. “Not be a long journey. Better be making tracks though. They pigs of mine will need feeding afore noon.”

Skipping any further preamble, Jess hopped up beside the farmer. Before she had time to make herself comfortable, the reins were cracked and the donkeys set a moderate, but not too brisk, pace.

“Got to say,” said the farmer as he steered the cart around a group of pedestrians, “was a little surprised to hear from Mike that you were interested in buying.

Jess winced internally. Just how bad was this land?

“He said it had interesting views,” she explained.

The farmer chuckled a deep belly laugh. “Aye,” he said as his laughter subsided, “they be interesting all right.”

Jess opened her mouth, but no words came to mind. There didn’t seem to be a polite way to phrase her questions and so she kept them to herself as they rolled along. Eventually, the cobbled road gave way to gravel and stone and then again gave way to rough dirt as they made their way through the pleasant green countryside.

In Jess’s opinion, the farmer was a decent enough companion. He was quiet throughout, steering their indolent steeds around the worst of bumps and dips in the road. It was only when they reached the base of a gentle upwards gradient that he broke the silence between them.

“Almost there, Miss. We be heading up this here slope and then they be in view.”

Jess’s stomach rolled, and not because of the movement of their cart. Was the ground swampy? Did poisonous mushrooms grow nearby? Was it frequented by predators like large, roaming wolves?

As they plodded up the hill, the serene views of hillocks surrounding a lake came into view. Grassy turf with blocky outcrops of rock gave way to pastel purple moorland beyond. Nestled in this colourful glade were the peaceful waters of a small lake, perhaps only a large pond. It took Jess’s breath away… until movement caught her eye.

She squinted, nose wrinkled, at the movement by the water’s edge as she anticipated them moving closer. The farmer brought the cart to a halt, however. The donkeys immediately took advantage of the situation and strained to chew at the grassy tussocks that threatened to overgrow the dirt path.

“What are they?” asked Jess. Her brain struggled to compute the scene before her.

“They be slimes, Miss,” the farmer replied, He drew a small tin from a pocket and plucked out some brown, fibrous material which was placed into his mouth. He began to chew as he leaned back against the seat of the cart, studying Jess’s reaction.

“…What?” Jess said, fumbling her words as she tried to straighten her thoughts.

The farmer paused his chewing. “They come from that there lake,” he said with a nod in the direction of the water. “Come at night. Ain’t no getting rid. Adventurers tried. They be having a quest to come kill them, but half the time the adventurers be the ones doing the dying. Something about acid.”

Jess tore her eyes away from the sight of the glistening green globules that shuddered across the ground. They wobbled like Jello in a strangely entrancing way. “Acid?” she repeated, face screwing up as she processed the information. Where the hell would acid come from? How does acid even move like that?

“Aye, Miss. That be what they scholars is saying. Acid slimes,” the farmer answered, either oblivious or uncaring of her inner turmoil.

Jess stretched up as she tried to spot any slime that might be closer. They seemed to glide across the grass without leaving any trace. She couldn’t see any mechanism that might account for the movement. There was no pattern to their movements. There were no logical reasons for the paths that they took, nor could Jess see any apparent reasons that they might appear from the lake behind them. There was one distinct characteristic that they all seemed to share though.

“It seems weird that they all have bones in them. Mostly human ones by the looks of them,” she said, squinting at the slimes that were closest to them. “Look, those three have all got a skull and a couple of ribs in them,” she added, pointing at some that were over to their left. “Where do they get them all from?” she pondered out loud.

“I reckon they be adventurer bones. Got to be thankful really,” said the farmer, unconcerned.

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“Adventurer bones?” Jess questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh aye. They adventurers is always leaving they bones everywhere,” the farmer chuckled, “One time, they has left them right outside our back door to the house. Our Isla came out and tripped arse over tit. Never laughed so hard in all my life.”

Jess laughed along with the farmer. “Don’t they ever come back for them?”

“Not that I seen. They just dies and disappears leaving they bones behind. Then they be alive again, later on, running around like excited lambs.”

“I see. It doesn’t make a great deal of sense, but it’s probably a good job that they pick them up,” Jess replied appreciatively.

“That’s what I says to the wife. Got to be thankful,” the farmer agreed. They stood together watching the slimes oozing across the landscape for a while. Jess was lost in thought. She assumed the farmer was too until she noticed him regarding her carefully. His eyes were narrowed, and his forehead creased as he seemed to be mulling over his judgement of her.

Eventually, he seemed to have made a decision as he went back to watching the slimes.

“You’re serious about wanting this land aren’t you, Miss?” he asked.

“I am.”

“You aren’t city daft.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“So why is you wanting it?” he asked, fixing her with a focused stare.

“You want the honest answer?”

His eyes narrowed again as he considered her question carefully. He gave a gentle sigh before speaking slowly and carefully, as though he was afraid of offending her. “You got a look in your eyes that I recognise, Miss. Folk with a sword… well, you know where you stand with those. Same with they sorcerers down in Shady Lane. Pardon my saying so, but you aint got neither sword nor magics. Makes me worried, see?”

Jess was beginning to see why Mike was so fond of the old farmer. This quiet introspection was both unexpected and refreshing. She gently asked, “Do you think I’m hiding something?”

The farmer snorted a laugh. “No, Miss,” he answered quietly, “I see you right enough. I just… Never mind. Just a daft old goat chewing the cud. Go on then, why is you wanting this land? Can’t grow no crops here.”

She gave a small smile, perplexed by his answer but thankful for his honesty nonetheless. “Not growing crops. Growing minds. I’m planning on opening a school here,” she answered, turning her attention to the land and the slimes once more.

The farmer chuckled then, seeing that Jess had answered honestly, he laughed even harder. “Now that would be a treat,” he said, wiping a tear from his eye, “I’ll tell you what, Miss. You turn this into a school and the land is yours to use freely – on one condition.”

“Name it.”

“I has two grandbabies. Girls. Seven and six. Short-changing you, but an education for both is what I’m asking for,” he said, holding out his hand, “Deal?”

Jess smiled and took the offered hand, shaking it. “If they’re anywhere near as bright as their grandfather, I’ll consider myself blessed for having them.”

The farmer beamed. “And I take it that you has a plan for they slime already?” he asked her.

Jess glanced back over her shoulder at the mottled walls of Steelvale City. “I’ve got the start of a plan,” she agreed.

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