Chapter 4: A Light By Day, A Shadow Resides (La mère que nous partageons)

The coffee you start brewing, as you end your morning prayer and walk into the kitchen, is another reminder of why you followed Mother, and the goal that seems so far out of reach.

Once more, you eye the clock, marking the day and date - 13 Thermidor LXIX, nearly ten years to the day when you fled to the Underground from the Presidio. Though you were born in a luxurious life in one of the few cults that Father tolerates, you fled there, because…

because there was something all the money in the world could never grant you.

The Underground are the workers, the people that keep the City above running, the people who are so undesirable that Father has stuffed them into the vast tunnels beneath rather than acknowledge their own humanity. Resources that could go to the Underground instead sit stockpiled above, used first by the people who live in towers far above those who keep them comfortable.

(Like you do, now.)

Somehow, decades and decades after the City’s foundation, they’ve found ways to survive. Food is grown in underground gardens with false light and genetically altered plant life. Electronics are built from scraps, and music and culture are passed from person to person freely. But there’s hardly enough to go around, and the ill and infirm are especially vulnerable to shortages. What little they have is at the behest of Father…

All of it can be taken away in a moment.

The woman who grew the coffee you now have is an acquaintance of yours. She manages a vast plantation that was invented some decades ago, with a genetically recombined coffee plant that can endure the harsh conditions beneath the City. An old acquaintance, and a follower of the Goddess, like you.

You wonder - will you be able to protect her, when Father comes for her?

How much can an operator do, to change the world?

(…it is good coffee, though, you think as you sip it. Although you’re sure your acquaintance would balk at you using cream and sugar…)

It’s been a couple of years now, since you started working as an operator with the mercenary company Collared, directing Ravens on missions and compiling intelligence for future operations. Of course, that’s just a smokescreen for your real job -

BLEE-BLEE. BLEE-BLEE.

Without thinking, your body stands up at attention, and you find yourself climbing out of your chair and walking toward the intercom. All on a practiced, trained impulse…

And you know the cause.

Mother is calling…

“Himeko,” you hear in that resonant voice, the one that so often fills your ears and your mind, even alone at night, the voice of Mother. “Are you ready to depart?"

"Ah...almost," you say, finding yourself acting shy and withdrawn once more. In a dream, perhaps, you could be bold, but...

It's a lot harder to do than it is to dream, right?

"Unfortunately, skirmishes in the night have damaged I-880...again. We'll thus be delayed, so it's best you hurry."

"Yes, Mother," you say, swallowing a little as thoughts of your dream flit through your mind, of the ambitions you apparently hold. Of being guided by the precepts, to grasping power...

But right now, all you do is meekly hang up the intercom, and rush to finish your coffee. You'll grab something more fulfilling at the Arena over in Oakland, where Red Rum controls the the Port and the public hold unease and fear...

What a twisted thing.

But perhaps, humans can get used to just about anything...

You sigh, and hastily adjust your tie, brushing your hands down your suit - 'business casual', rather than the formal uniform you prefer - tug at the hem of your skirt, balance yourself on your flats, and quickly toss your hair back to ensure it's dried out completely.

You always want to make a good impression, after all.

You leave the apartment behind, quickly locking the door behind you, and stride through the halls, down the elevator, and out the palatial lobby that reminds you of the luxury you live under, that feels so hollow...

And outside, Mother, and her bodyguard, waiting for you in front.

Of course, normally you wouldn't get such a personal visit, but Mother's presence ensures you remain protected in Oakland as you travel along the I-880 corridor. Since Collared is a neutral party in the conflict, and Mother's face is so well-known, even Red Rum wouldn't attack without provocation - not unless she wants all of Collared's Ravens bearing down on her.

(...you suspect that's not the only reason, though.)

And so, as you step outside, once more your eyes fall upon Mother.

"Himeko."

Ruby red hair, and green eyes...just like your dream. A body you're intimately familiar with, with curves mocked by the media, as though that weight and softness weren't full of warmth for those she chooses to witness it...

Even now, it's a little intimidating.

Her very presence is intoxicating. Her entire being holds a special gravity that draws one in, never to escape. To know her is to love her. She can convince anyone of anything, effortlessly, as though the universe itself were hers to rule.

And she has ensured that you, above all else, are one of her precious possessions.

(...but is that all you want to be? Or do you have higher ambitions, just like you dreamed? Is your fate to be beneath Mother, or...)

(well.)

(The fourth precept...'love conquers all'. And you do love Mother.)

"...Mother," you say, bowing politely to your employer.

"You've put in extra attention in your appearance today," Mother notes, her hand reaching forward, her crystalline, claw-like fingernail brushing back a stray hair. "Trying to look your best for Ariel, mm?"

You find yourself glancing away from her eyes, despite yourself. "I didn't do anything different than usual," you mutter. If there weren't eyes all around you, maybe...

...

(...why worry about the eyes around you, part of you thinks, as you find part of you wanting to assert yourself...)

...well.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad...

You know the taste of Mother's lips well, but taking the initiative feels like an important step, if you want to get more control over your life.

For some reason, in fact...

You feel somewhat less intimidated by Mother. You still love and admire her, but in your eyes, she feels a little less untouchable.

Some unbidden feeling in your heart echoes, and...

You get on your very tiptoes, and reach up, your lips kissing Miri's for just a moment...her eyes go a little wide in surprise, and you remark with a bit of pride that you rarely see Mother surprised by anything.

She accepts it, though.

She accepts it, for that brief moment, and you pull away, getting back on your feet, as she smiles at you.

"My, Himeko...what's gotten into you today? You're a little more forward than usual." No disapproval, even perhaps a bit of...pride?

How strange.

Two years you've worked for Mother, and you still don't really understand her. What she wants of you, or of the City. That she is ambitious is no secret - the name 'Mother' was an epithet given to her by the Father-controlled media, who considered her an interloper whose desires went far further than merely cornering the Raven market - but you've never had a sense of her true goals.

Maybe...maybe that's something to change.

"It's nothing special. I just want to be a bit more open with my affection." It's...not quite the truth, but not really a lie. Even in the Underground, being open with such affections is dangerous, and Mother's reputation isn't exactly spotless -

Your eyes flit into the distance. Just a bit of motion, but...as you turn your head, it becomes clear.

A man is holding a photo, an instant photograph, and you don't need to think hard to realize what the photo is of. Of all the days...he's probably been following Mother all over the place waiting for something scandalous.

"Mother, there's -"

"Oh. Right, I forgot there was someone trailing me." Mother, as ever, sounds utterly unthreatened, and turns toward a shadowy presence in a nearby alcove. "Nezha will take care of it."

Your eyes flit into the shadow, and the woman within it comes out...Nezha, Mother's bodyguard. Or at least, the only one she trusts to remain by her side at all times, be it Mother's day job, or her nighttime 'interventions'.

As though acknowledging her status, daring the world to make light of her love toward Mother, Nezha is always dressed to kill. Even in her heels, she rushes forward, toward the photographer, and...

He's not fast enough.

Nezha tackles him to the ground, grasps the photo, shoving it in her handbag...and smashing up the camera on the pavement for good measure.

Well, that's one way to take care of it...

"While I appreciate your affection, Himeko, always be mindful of your surroundings. You well remember this world is not yet kind to those like you or I..."

...and now you're being reprimanded. Gently, but still. It's not as though Mother doesn't appreciate it, but if that photo got out, it could be pretty dangerous...

Thank the Goddess for Nezha, huh?

"You should consider a bodyguard of your own, Himeko," Mother says, walking toward her car as Nezha slinks back into the shadows, no doubt to retrieve her motorcycle and once more shadow 'Miss Miri'. (You have a feeling there's quite the story behind the nickname, that perhaps when they were young, in the orbital colonies...aah, but that's just speculation.) "Even if you're not in the line of fire, if anyone finds out you're a Collared operator, let alone..."

"Mm. Maybe." But, where would you find someone like that? If it's a bodyguard...you'd have to trust them with everything.

And as Mother demonstrated, some secrets are riskier than others -

...oh, Mother's kissed you on the cheek.

"Get in, I'll drive," Mother says, as you find yourself once more put on the back foot. Looks like, your dreams notwithstanding, you have a bit further to go if you want to measure up to her...

---

00-TESTAROSSA...

It's a bit on the nose, isn't it?

Not the first time you've thought that, as Mother taps the side of her glasses, the lenses fading into darkness. You, on the other hand, try to block the glare of the sun with the visor, because...

You always want to see the City with your own eyes.

The people of the surface try to live their lives as though the conflicts around them never happen. Even as you know the damage every building you pass has taken, over the years, all filed away in Collared intelligence reports, speaking of the conflicts between Ravens completely clinically, completely detached from the reality that Ravens, and the people of the City...

They have their own hopes and dreams, their own desires for the future. Most of them believe the fighting will never end, having lasted as long as most of them have been alive.

Mother's efforts are...small, by comparison. And while you're not certain of her motives, you are certain that it's not for lack of trying.

You don't know how to change the future.

Construction workers, many using work-use Muscle Tracers, try to restore damaged buildings, scarred from one battle or another. Many of these battles, you've witnessed yourself, from your chair deep within Collared HQ, watching on hazy monitors as humanoid weapons clashed. Missions you yourself planned, knowing full well it was counter-productive to your true goals, the goals of Line Ark, and the goals Mother says she has.

From here, you can imagine the scene across the Bay Bridge, Red Rum's machines patrolling in a show of force, open defiance of the City Police. No doubt another helicopter will deliver Muscle Tracers, or even an AC, to fight against them...

And yet, within the City, life goes on.

From entrances to the Underground, when the City Police aren't looking, some hope for money from those few generous souls among the surface. Others sell what they've been able to scrape together, or arrange clandestine services - the latter is something you're very familiar with, having done more than a few jobs for people on the surface, sold them information...

Well, that was your old life, anyway.

Still others spread cults forbidden to the surface, theistic cults that offend Father's sensibility. Your own, the Fourth Order, is just one of them...but it's easy to spot them, girls with colorful hair speaking of the Princess of Sunlight and the Goddess of Sin, the sun and the moon. Few truly take their words to heart, but every so often, you see the same person returning to an entrance, without really knowing why...

Despite all the fighting, people want to live.

Just as you have, surviving alone...

"By the way," Mother says, breaking you out of your reverie as you get on the Bay Bridge toward Oakland. "Elias left me something for you."

...you sigh.

"Another tape?" you ask, as Mother lifts it in her hands, and you pluck it out of them. Predictably, your guess was exactly right.

"He seems quite interested in your thoughts on music," Mother says, smiling to herself as she loosely holds the wheel. "Maybe not just that..."

"He should know well he's not my type," you mumble, taking a look at the label - which means very little to you, who doesn't have his knowledge of music. "I doubt he'd be untoward for such a reason."

"Maybe he's interested in the Order? You've already made a convert out of Ariel..."

"If he's interested, he can ask me himself. He's not normally such a circumspect person."

"Either way." Miri's shoulders roll a little, as she settles back in her seat, enjoying the fresh air - contaminated as it is, with the water from the bay so close. "Would you like to listen? If not to that tape, there's a few more in the glovebox."

...well, it would be polite, but he'd probably be just as happy if you listened to it at night. And, much as he annoys you, he's not bad, really...

Would you like to listen now? Or maybe, to something else?

"...do you have the case?" you ask, suddenly curious what's on this tape.

"In the ashtray," Mother replies, not bothering to point you there. Traffic on the bridge is rather slow now that you're getting closer to Oakland, as expected - you wonder how bad the damage is...

And you check the case, taking a look at the track listing...

'The Mother We Share'? That's the first track?

Ugh, and you thought 'testarossa' was on the nose. Really, Elias...you do not understand what goes through that man's head, even at the best of times.

But, you have no reason to not give it a listen, and so you , and sigh...

Mother.

You are reading story A Shadow Resides: Armored Core at novel35.com

It's been two years, now.

Two years, since she chose you...

...

The click of heels echoes throughout one of the many tunnels of the seemingly endless Underground.

A clearing like this is the closest you get to a 'park' beneath the surface. Where crowds of people gather, and sit on the concrete 'ground', playing simple games, showing off what scraps they've gathered, sharing food...

But their eyes can't help but wander.

The woman who strides through the Underground is clearly descended from on high. Some select few might even recognize her eyes, if they're old enough, as one of the Families of the space colonies. Alphonse eyes, and a woman whose ambition has seen her become known as 'Mother'.

Behind her are two bodyguards, in Collared dress uniforms, openly displaying firearms. They are only a ruse, of course; the real bodyguard hides in the shadows, blending in with the crowd, to help ensure this operation is successful.

What Mother seeks, after all, is a possession she already dearly values.

...

And where are you?

You're within some old hollow, once a storefront, now merely a dangerous alcove only visited by those who repair and maintain the wiring deep beneath the Earth.

Wearing shiny black gloves, you hold an expensive deck, built by your own two hands, and tap into the flow of information. You've hit the motherlode - a Collared datastream, of immense value to the other Raven's nests in the region. Your gold supply has been running low, and you'll be glad to have some more cash to work with, and -

The sliver of light within the alcove is obscured by shadow.

You turn, and witness a woman completely in silhouette, her only truly visible features being her shape and her eyes - the green collecting the light.

...in the same motion, you draw your stun gun, a menacing bolt of electricity visible there, as you stand steadfast before this new figure.

Even with two bodyguards poking their heads in, you remain steadfast, knowing that you have friends who will help you if you can stall. You just need to hold on until then...

"So you're the one," the figure whispers, an accent not found in the Underground, or even on the surface. An accent not even found on the surface of the Earth, so distinctive that it could only come from space...

You say nothing.

"I'd heard there was an up and coming information broker who has been making a great deal of money selling data to nests. That's you, isn't it?"

You say nothing.

"I must admit, I'm impressed. I knew someone was leaking movements of Ravens and Migrants, but the sheer scale of the operation...I had to assume it was an entire team, but there were no traces of that."

You say nothing, even as you remember who this woman is - this is the head of Collared's operations in the City. 'Mother', so they call her...

"And here you found the trail I left for you."

"What?"

You find yourself lowering your guard, despite yourself. A trap? You knew it was almost too good to be true, if only you had trusted your instincts...

"Check your deck."

...the datastream is much smaller than you expected. In fact, all that's in it is a single sentence...

"'À mon seul désir'?"

"The motto of the Alphonse family. Its meaning has been debated through the ages. In this case..."

...you frown. "You want me?"

"I want someone who can perform feats like you do. To be able to alter the flow of information, enough to change the battles on the surface. Who can create advanced technology from mere scraps. Who can interpret information without becoming overwhelmed -"

"I will not betray my sisters," you say, waiting as one of your partners sneaks up -

only to be held fast by another bodyguard. It's hard to see at this distance, but...

Calm yourself. You'll get a way out of this.

"I would not ask you to. You know what they call me, yes?"

"They call you 'Mother'. They say you're fighting against Father, but I don't believe them."

"You should. Because that is my intention." You can see the outline of her smile in the low light, and...for some reason, you can almost believe her. "I require someone like you, to help me. There is no one else in this City who will do. If you wish to retake the Alloy Gate, you will need to do more than scrape together information and sell it indiscriminately."

"...you need me?" You...no one has ever told you that before...

"I do. To my one desire - that being you. We don't have to be enemies."

"And what? If I refuse, you'll shoot me?" You don't bring bodyguards like that to a negotiation so easily.

"Nothing like that. I simply offer you something more. But, to do that, you'll have to trust me..."

"Why should I trust you?"

"..." The woman smiles even wider. "Because I want to know your name?"

"My name?" you scoff. "You come all this way, having lured me into a trap, and you want to ask my name? As though you don't already know?"

"I know the name you were born with. I also know that is not your name."

...

...despite yourself, you find a bit of embarrassment, that someone would pay attention to such things. Someone from the surface, that is, where the Order is nothing but mockery.

"I am well aware of your connections to one of the outlawed sects, you know. I am offering you the chance to help shape the future of this City. To guide Ravens. To help people."

"..."

You lower your stun gun, and sigh to yourself.

"...and if, after you show me what you have in mind, I say no?"

"Then you may retreat back beneath the surface of the Earth."

...

Somehow, you believe her.

Maybe this will be the death of you, but...

If someone went to all this trouble to find you, just to find out your name...

Then you owe it to yourself to find out why, right?"

"...Himeko. My name is Himeko."

"'Princess child'...a fitting name, I think."

...and on that day, Mother extended her hand to you...

...

And you followed her to the surface, to work with Collared...and Line Ark. To work with the technology of the Complex, sleeping deep within Mountain View.

Was it worth it?

You can't help but think of what you left behind...

...

Well, Mother is right next to you. You have plenty of time to yourselves, with how the traffic is this morning.

Is there anything you'd like to speak to Mother about, Himeko? Or anything you'd like to do?

"...how are you feeling, anyway?" you ask. Well, it's only polite, right?

"Me? Less than enthused. I doubt dealing with Delacroix will be any more enjoyable than usual." Aah, the film mogul who's made plays for the Arena...

You do truly detest that woman. Mother seems to almost as much, but you confess she's much more diplomatic about it.

"I'm worried about Ariel," you say. "Red Rum...I don't think Ariel can win against her. I want to be able to protect her."

"Ariel's talents rely on you, Himeko. If you believe in her, she'll believe in you."

...ugh. The weather is so muggy, too...July in the City, without air conditioning. If you were driving at speed, it wouldn't be so bad, but...

"Is it really that simple?" you say, looking out past the window, toward the bay. The seas soaked in contamination...

"Have you known me to offer platitudes? I truly believe in your potential, and hers. To awaken in full bloom...as I have helped you, so too will you help her."

...it's really easier for her to say.

Mother has no fear of reprisal, nor fear that she's taking advantage of anyone. You, yourself, have felt her love...and loved her in turn. And the fear of hurting Ariel has held you back there, as your fear of hurting Mother...

Is it befitting of you, to be so afraid?

'Dedication has no reward'...have you truly experienced the breadth of meaning in those words?

"...we should be doing more," you say.

"As part of Line Ark, you mean." Aah, of course Mother knows what's on your mind - you swear sometimes she can read your mind.

"You've told me that we have to persist with Collared to have the resources to continue funding Line Ark. But we need to expand. I can't stand staring at this City every day, feeling so powerless..."

"We can only do so much and be beneath Father's notice. Even a handful of Ravens can't stand against him forever. I would have thought you'd consider means other than conflict..."

You sigh. It's...more than a little frustrating, sometimes. You don't have any real idea what's going through Mother's head, except when she makes it obvious, so you don't know how genuine she is...

Maybe it's time to consider what you can do, yourself, with your own power.

Thinking back to those memories, as you reach to clutch your black feather...you disrupted the surface by selling information, right? Enough that Mother wanted to claim you as her own?

Who's to say you can't do that again?

Maybe it'd be a betrayal, but...

(but after that dream, you don't think you can be satisfied under Mother's shadow anymore, another like Nezha.)

(you want, nothing more)

(than to surpass her, completely and utterly, in both beauty and power...)

You pause, for a moment, as you get into sight of the port. You know you won't get shot at - they can recognize Mother's car from even this distance - but it's still a little scary. "You really think Ariel has a chance against Red Rum?"

"Not alone," Mother says. Unflappable, utterly confident...if she says you can win, maybe you can believe it? "But you and her together, I think you have a chance. Assuming you don't mind the media attention..."

"I'd rather take it than Ariel. I don't want someone like Chase Greyward thinking they can take -"

(take what's rightfully yours?)

"It's for the best. But, don't be afraid. There's no shame in losing here. The true battle lies elsewhere, tonight."

You nod. Tonight, you've got a major intervention planned. Ariel isn't a good match for Red Rum, but White Glint? You'll be able to save a lot of people that way. "I'm more worried about Delacroix."

"I'll handle her," Mother says, as she turns onto the city streets on the other side of the bay. "You just take care of Ariel. She's yours, after all."

...she says it so easily.

How is it that she can stand apart from what the world imposes upon her so easily, while you struggle to be recognized?

...

...you clutch that black feather, tightly in your hand, and consider the precepts as Mother drives you cautiously through Red Rum territory.

'Love conquers all', huh...?

(...your love for Mother? Your love for Ariel? Or...is there a higher love, you've yet to grasp...?)

(And if you pull Mother down from heaven, could you love Ariel in full, with no regrets?)

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