Chapter 20: 20

Despite her plight of poverty, Evelyn still takes care of three full meals, she gives Raven bread soup and eats grass soup herself.

A green liquid that doesn’t even look like soup 

“It doesn’t taste good, but I feel comfortable eating this!”

So, Raven was a little resentful of Evelyn, who smiled while urging him to eat bread soup comfortably.

He wanted to make some money, but he couldn’t. While lost in that frustrating situation, he can’t stop the growing suspicions he had towards her.

“……”

To be honest, he was almost at his limit.

Raven saw Evelyn leaning against the door of the house and staring blankly towards the forest.

And on that same very day.

“Evelyn.”

He couldn’t keep the words from popping out of his mouth.

***

“Yes?”

Turning around, Raven was standing behind me.

Today, I was looking at the forest and thinking about this and that. In fact, there wasn’t much to do in this world, so the time spent losing myself in thoughts increased.

To think I would someday miss school homework.

…I had to keep thinking about something so I could forget hunger while lost in my thoughts.

It’s only a little. Very little.

As I continued my thoughts in a daze, Raven called me.

Good timing. He seemed quite dark today, so I thought I’d give him a little advice for the near future.

As I happily glanced back at him so he could continue, Raven said.

“Why do you keep looking at the forest?”

Only then did Raven’s icy-like expression catch my eye. As soon as I heard it, I could guess what he was thinking.

The act of me looking at the forest was caught.

He would be curious about what would I have been thinking or feeling anxious about. 

But I was a little embarrassed. Because none of the thoughts I was thinking were things I could honestly say to others.

As I was choosing words, Raven seemed to have finished his judgment.

A hasty judgment.

It was proof that the child was anxious.

“As expected, you should not believe in people that come from an {End Village}.” 

“…….What?”

However, I was a little saddened by Raven’s cold words.

“Ray, are you talking about me?”

I asked as gently as possible, and Raven looked directly at me. Moreover, somehow, he had slightly twitchy lips.

‘He asked me what I was thinking about, right?’

He did so because he suspects me. I carefully dragged Raven into the house. Then I sat him down on the table chair, facing each other, and calmly asked.

“What did I do wrong?”

Then Raven, who was not looking in my direction, looked back at me. 

“Nothing.”

“Then why are you saying that? Not to believe at villagers of an {End Village}.”

“…it didn’t mean much.” 

Before I knew it, his apprehension was fading away, but he still had a sore face somewhere.

I got a little sad.

“But it meant something.” (Eve)

After a small reply, there was silence for a moment.

Ray turned his head away from me saying this was meaningless.

I fixed my gaze on the original work information sheets in the form of a drawn picture of my grandmother hanging on the wall.

Raven closed and opened his eyes slowly without saying a word.

“You.”

And suddenly, he started talking about irrelevant things.

“Do you know that missing someone like that is useless?”

“What?”

“That picture. It’s a tribute.”

That? Are you talking about writing down memories in a picture?

‘I didn’t expect you to see things like that.’

However, Raven seemed to be trying to tell a personal story, so I kept quiet.

“It’s annoying because it’s useless.”

“Oh. Is it annoying? Shall I clean it up?”

“…That’s not it.”

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Raven looked back at me, raising his voice a little as if he was frustrated. 

You’re finally seeing me. 

I tilted my head and smiled softly as he bit his lip with trembling eyes.

And he cried out. 

“You, tell me the truth. Are you sure you don’t have any other intentions? Tell me. Why are you looking at that forest?”

Questions pouring in like a ruptured dam.

In fact, as we talked, I kept thinking about what to say, but I couldn’t really figure out where to start and how to convince him.

‘It’s a little embarrassing that he was looking at me so carefully.’

In a way, it was something natural to do.

‘Wow. I overlooked it because I was hungry and it’s something so obvious. Oh, my God.’ 

It seemed to be useless to say anything to Raven now. So, I decided to start by clarifying that I have nothing to do with the factors that makes him anxious.

“Why, do you think I’ll leave you in the woods and come back alone?” 

As if I knew nothing, in a gentle tone.

Lightly.

“Isn’t there anything you can’t do?”

“What?”

I was a little angry at this remark. 

But before I could say anything, Raven said.

“It wouldn’t surprise me if you threw me away. Even if you leave me, it’s not like I was abandoned.”

What?

“…Do you know what you’re talking about now?”

Even if I tell you to go, it sounds like you won’t go.

Why are you suddenly saying lines like an obsessed Male Lead? 

Raven continued to speak as if pouring his feelings out.

“I will use you. Whatever your intentions, I’ll be happy to use you, I won’t get hit on the back of the head twice. I am different from my mother…!”

There was something strange mixed with the words that were pouring out without a hitch.

“What are you talking about?” 

What do you mean, mother? 

I was sobering up. It felt like I’ve come across something that I must know. But Raven bit his lip as if he had made a mistake and said nothing more about his mother.

“…I survived.”

He only said that, as he couldn’t stop looking at me with fiery eyes.

That’s weird.

Those were clearly words that showed he was angry with me, but nowhere in those beautiful golden eyes could I find anger towards me.

My heart fluttered at the unexpected glance he shot at me.

Raven, this little boy, was lost.

What was it that drove him this far?

But I couldn’t look any further, because Raven left the seat with a tearful expression. I wanted to follow him right away, but he was not going out of the house so I held it in.

It looked like he needed time to be alone.

Somehow I shed tears.

It was because Raven’s expression hurt more the more I thought about it.

‘I knew for sure that Raven was still a young boy.’

In the end, maybe I didn’t know. Maybe it really didn’t get through to me that he was a kid. In fact, I am scared of many things, so I might have rejected that little boy as I labeled him as a villain.

‘But….I wasn’t quite like that either.’

I tried hard.

It hurt my feelings, and my heart ached. The thing that hit home the most, was the fact that Raven was mentally cornered.

‘I said I’d take care of him.’

Taking care of a child is not just taking care of their body.

Even if I’m taking care of him just so I could live. I was disqualified.

What do we do?

Contrary to the original image, Raven, who turned around earlier, looks so young, inexperienced, and hurting, more than he actually was.

I was stunned by the sight. 

Raven, who was a little friendly at given times, came to mind.

And at some point, I realized.

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I’m afraid Raven will go away.

I said I would take care of him, but deep down in my heart, I was the one who relied on him a lot in this unfamiliar place.

If I hadn’t had someone by my side, I probably would have had a really hard time.

“Because I’m lonely.”

That day, the words I answered to Raven were truly sincere.

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