Chapter 128: 128 The 127th time you get this letter will be like that.

--Rougis, it is time for you to take pride in yourself.

With her hands cupped on both cheeks, the saintly Mattia's eyes were right in front of her.

It's a good idea to have a good idea of what you're looking for. It's not like her to be calm and collected. Speaking of not being calm and collected, I feel like she's already lost some of her personality when she came to this Belle Fane.

I thought about answering her words by saying that I also have confidence and pride in myself.

I thought about saying that I have confidence and pride. I'm sure it's the easiest and most understandable. If I could end it with "Thank you for your concern," it would be perfect.

But my throat was so dry that the words wouldn't come out easily. I tried to push Mattia away from my body, but my hands wouldn't move. My eyelids twitch numbly, feverishly. An involuntary gulp of spit caressed her throat.

You can't do that. There's no way you can pass it off.

Just look at Mattia's eyes, the crystal staring straight at you, and you'll understand. She is now spitting out words that are sincere to the core. She's directing her words at me, unadulterated and, dare I say it, really unlike her.

It would be too unfair to just shrug my shoulders and respond aloof to this. It's too little respect for people. I don't want that.

Respect is respect. If Saint Mattia treats me like this with respect, I should treat her with respect.

The hands that had not moved, moved. Two of them rested on Mattia's shoulders. Now I look straight into her eyes.

"Do I look so lacking in dignity and self-confidence to you, my Master?

I can't formulate the words well. It's hard to make up for it. The hands on Mattia's shoulders were trembling, perhaps shamefully.

"Yeah, totally. I wonder how people can be like this, Lugis.

The answer was immediate. The gaze that pierced me remained unchanged.

Good grief. Really, what's wrong with the saint today? It seems she won't give us a way out, she's so strict.

But to be proud, to be confident, that's a hard thing to say.

I'm not saying I can't do anything, and I'm not throwing everything away.

I understand. I grabbed the hands of my former enemies, Caria-Bardnick and Fialat-La-Borgograd, and cut a deal with the hero Herdt-Stanley in the walled city of Galuamaria. Then, in the Hanging Gardens of Ghazalia, I overcame the King of the Elves, Finn Lagias, and here I am.

What a glorious achievement for me. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. This is enough to make me feel satisfied.

But still...

I can't help it. I'm longing for a hero. I'm longing for a hero. I know it sounds crazy, but that's why I'm here.

I've always walked on their backs, on the backs of heroes.

They are on a glorious path. They grab the glory in their hands and take it for granted. How their backs make people long for more. How attractive they are.

They, the heroes, were my enemies, but they were also the object of my admiration. Even though I know I'm not as good as them.

That's why I think that no matter what I accomplish, no matter how far I go, I should never be satisfied. If my heart is filled with it, then my legs will stop there. And then I'll never reach them again.

Yeah, that's right. My heart has been burned all the way to my chest.

During that journey of salvation, my heart was stolen by heroes. Herdt-Stanley, Caria-Bardnick, Fialat-La-Borgograd, Elddis. And to my love, Alueno.

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The spirit that dwells in my body has been torn apart and scattered, trampled down to nothing. But I still longed for them.

"I'm worried, Saint Mattia. I'm worried that if I gain confidence, if I gain dignity, that's where my legs will stop, that's where I, a little person, will end up.

So, in the end, that's probably the reason why I can't have confidence or pride.

Once an ordinary person understands that something is at hand, he or she stubbornly defends it. If they are conceited about their own value, they will not be able to move forward from there.

I am far from being a hero. If I don't tell myself that I have nothing, that I haven't gained anything yet, my legs will surely stop in a bad way.

Rather, I believe that without throwing oneself into danger, an ordinary person will not be able to work at all.

So, the result of not acting without regard for danger, the result of respecting reason and taking care of oneself.

--I'm afraid that's who I used to be. I'm afraid that if I stop my legs, I'll end up like that again.

Seeing my eyes harden, Mattia's cheeks quiver for a moment. Then she smiles, her lips rippling with a smile.

I know. I understand the kind of person you are.

So, as soon as Mattia said the words. Somehow, a kind of shame appeared in my heart.

Thinking back, what the hell am I doing giving her such a bad feeling? There's no need for me to show her my heart, even if I'm being sincere. What was that? Shame. Shame. Oh, stop that funny smile.

Somewhat embarrassed, I swatted Mattia's hands away and turned my face away. This time, she put her arms around my neck instead of my cheeks. It was as if Mattia was hugging me.

What the hell is going on here?

I'll take it. I accept that you have to. Rest assured, when you feel like stopping, I'll be there to help you. It's my way of managing.

So feel free to be proud. The words whispered in my ear were strangely gentle and full of emotion.

I'm not sure what she means by "control", but I guess it's her way of caring. I don't know what she means by "control," but I guess it's her way of caring. But then again, this is what a saint is all about.

She opens her lips, letting out a big breath.

"Are you sure? If I have confidence and pride, I might as well be a royal prince.

The words with a smile on them. I wasn't joking, nor was I trying to pass it off. I just thought it was more like me to say it like that. I could hear Mattia's faint smile in my ear.

Instantly, my eyes blinked.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a carriage that had been parked on the main street for a while, hoofing it away. It was nothing. A horse-drawn carriage going down the main street is a common sight, and nothing to write home about.

However, for a brief moment, I thought I saw golden hair through the window. The color I was once familiar with.

--Alueno.

That's impossible. She's supposed to be at the cathedral headquarters right now. She'd never come here.

But why?

My heart, once calm, was palpitating strangely.

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