A Wish to Grab Happiness

Chapter 184: 184 Article 183 "Baby of infamous"


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In the training ground in the Galuamaria fort, there were several bundles of randomly gathered hay, probably to be used as targets for bows and arrows. The smell of soil that had been pressed into place by the feet of the soldiers and had dried up completely licked my nose.

It was a little past noon, and no one wanted to come near this place. Rather, the soldiers who are supposed to come and go here prefer to wander far, far away from the training grounds, in search of food.

So this was a good place for a slow, unobstructed exchange of words.

"Friends. That's the silver-haired one, the employer. Huh?

His lips were twisted in a very complicated way, and his fingers were caressing his cheek. The sight of Bruder made me feel uncomfortable, and although I didn't look away, I narrowed my eyes softly.

After a moment, I nodded with my chin and affirmed Bruder's words.

It is undeniably true that Kalia, the silver-haired girl Bruder is talking about, is one of mine. And it is also true that Kalia slashed Bruder's sister, Vestaline, in the shoulder.  It is only natural that some kind of emotion should arise from this. I can also guess what is distorting Bruder's face right now.

I think that Bruder holds something close to a grudge against Kalia, but at the same time, he feels something like a sense of duty toward me. That's why his expression is complicated and distorted.

If you say that it is a customary practice on the battlefield for people to fight each other, that is all. It's also easy to tell him that it's not right to talk about resentment since he stepped into a place of death himself. It's easy to understand.

But that's too much logic.

Human emotions are not wise or mature enough to be pushed aside by such clever logic. And above all, the one who is distorting his face in front of me right now is Bruder. He is none other than my former best friend. I just couldn't bring myself to talk about stupid theories with such a person.

Of course, I fully understand that the person in front of me is not the friend who once held my hand. The old Bruder had never called me his employer, and he had a much more broken smile on his face. Still, I couldn't bring myself to say a word about reason or logic to Bruder.

Bruder placed his index finger on his lower lip and let his brown hair fall in waves.

"Bad words, I didn't want to hear them. Well, I've heard a lot about you from your daughter ...... and the saints.

Perhaps Mattia had given him some idea of the situation. Without much of a reaction, Bruder accepted my words. But there was a look of distress on his face, as if he was worried about something, as if he was trying to suppress his sorrow.

I sat down on the overturned haystack and waited for Bruder to speak.

"......, for example, for example. What do you think, employer? If I told you I was going to point a needle at that silver-haired woman, would you stop me?

The voice sounded like it was being thrown around carelessly. Bruder's gaze was fixed on me, but in truth I could see that his eyes were looking far away.

I take out a chewing tobacco from my pocket and put it in my mouth. A thought circled in my head.

No, I'm not gonna stop. No, I'm not going to stop. If that's the only way, then that's the way one chooses to do it--that's what a friend of mine taught me a long time ago.

A friend of mine taught me that a long time ago," he said, lifting his lips and twisting his cheeks as he held the tobacco over his teeth.

If Bruder tells me to walk where my heart and my emotions tell me to go, then who am I to stop him? No, you don't. After all, I know all too well the pain of strangling one's own emotions with one's own hands. It's not something I like to experience.

So I won't stop. I would never stop Bruder from going. But I can't promise that I won't do anything else.

Bruder shrugged his shoulders in surprise at my words, muttered, and sat down on a bundle of hay like me. Then, suddenly, he reached out his hand to me. What's with the covetous hand?

"Cigarettes, cigarettes. Give me one of those.

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I sincerely refuse that. You're not good at smoking, you're good at drinking. It's not human nature to encroach on someone's territory, Bruder.

But even though he forced his face into a grimace, Bruder did not retract his hand. Rather, he thrusts his hand even more firmly toward you.

Letting out a big sigh that leaks from deep within his guts, he tosses one of his chewing tobacco. It's a little better than the one I'm chewing. Bruder said with a smile on his face, "What's wrong with your face?

What's wrong with your drink, you're good at that.

His eyes twisted as he watched Bruder try to suck on his chewing tobacco with an unaccustomed gesture.

Even in the past, Bruder had never shown any sign of interest in smoking. I wonder what kind of wind is blowing in his direction. Even when we were having this discussion, Bruder would have been the one carrying around a bottle of alcohol.

Bruder's lips parted, as if nothing had happened.

I'm done. I have no reason to drink anymore. So I thought I'd try something a little different from now on.

Bruder's cheeks relaxed as he pointed to the chewed tobacco in his own lips. Well, give me a break. At least make it different from the chewing tobacco. You're not gonna need this.

Seeing my distorted expression, Bruder opens his mouth and lets out a laugh. The look on his face was similar to the broken look on Bruder's face in the past. I smiled along with him. Well, sometimes it's not so bad.

Bruder says, his cheeks puffed up.

"Hey, employer. Let's say, let's say... When Vess is healed, and I'm free of all ties, and I'm holed up in the country somewhere...

That was a strangely realistic way of putting it. The words were carefully arranged one by one in a way that seemed unusual for Bruder.

That future is certainly a possible one.

Rather, Bruder continued to be a mercenary because he was in pursuit of his sister Vestaline. Now that he has Vestaline in his hands, there is no reason for Bruder to go to the city to continue his mercenary work. In fact, he would be much happier living in the countryside with Vestalines in peace.

For some reason, that scene easily appeared in the back of my eyelids. I nodded without interrupting Bruder's words and urged him to continue. The peculiar smell of chewing tobacco lingered in my nostrils.

"What do you say, employer? Why don't you come with us? I'm sure you'll have some fun. Or is there something you'd rather stay here and do?

My lips stopped moving at the words. My eyes narrowed as I pinched the tobacco between my fingertips. The scene that popped into my eyelids felt strangely real.

He would spend his days in the countryside where no carriage would pass, exchanging silly stories with Bruder. Vestalinu seems to have a serious character, so I'm sure he'll scold us when he sees us like that.

Just thinking about it, I know it must be a good day. Like Bruder said, it'll be fun and it won't be bad.

"I don't know what you want. I don't know what you want, but I don't know where you're going to end up.

As he said this, Bruder took a rolled up piece of parchment from his pocket and tossed it to him. The parchment spun around to reveal itself, as if it were finally unbound.

There, along with the huge bounty, is a large letter on it. It means this.

--Eternal rest grant unto Lugis, master of vice.

I muttered in my mouth, "That's a terrible thing to say.

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