I put on a thicker pair of gloves than usual. Just by doing that, I could feel the distance between me and anything around me. It was unsettling.
However, it would not be a laughing matter if I wore light clothes and ended up having my fingers bitten off by frostbite. The cold that makes people freeze can sometimes take away flesh and life with a single wind.
Even a single drink of water, if you just hold it in your arms, you will freeze to death and be helpless. Or at least, that's what happened in the past. So there's no need to go down the same path.
Lightly swallow the ale in your mouth and stroke the liquid with your tongue. The pungent taste peculiar to Belle Fain seemed to naturally warm my body.
After moistening my throat to the fullest, I opened my mouth. I was concerned about the fact that my lips were rather thirsty.
"So, no sermon for you, saint?
I said, choosing my words carefully. I thought about it a lot, but no matter what I said, I felt like a sharp spear would come out of Saint Mattia's lips, so I ended up saying something ordinary.
However, judging from the fact that she was still looking through the parchment with her back to the tent, it seemed that her rage had spread from the top of her head to her toes. It's frightening.
I braced myself to hear what would come out of her lips. The next thing I knew, Mattia's voice was much calmer than I had imagined, almost thin.
I opened my eyelids wide.
"Oh, have you done something to make me think of you, my dear?
And yet, Mattia seemed to be in a very good mood. Her voice had a rather cheerful tone to it.
It wasn't exactly a relief, but I could feel the tension in my lungs slipping away.
To tell you the truth, I was expecting to be lectured in a sharp voice for doing something selfish again. But he's not in the mood today. That's fine. Then I hope you're in a good mood.
No, it's not that. I've always appreciated your kind words. I thought I'd take them first rather than have them all in one place later.
If you don't have it, that's fine, of course," he added. I'll just put my cloak on your shoulders. It's not like Mattia is my master, but she said it was okay. Then who else is going to complain about my every move? Now I'll be able to swing my arms to the fullest.
As always, Mattia kept his back to me and said in a soft, yet somewhat shaky voice. She squeezed her cold, frightened fingertips.
I will only tell you of my anger when you break your vows to me. Not this time, is it?
She narrowed her eyes and bit into Mattia's words. That vow must have been the one you made in Belle Fain.
The vow you made with Mattia was to be proud and not to jump into danger without permission.
No, I didn't think it was that big of a deal. Still, if this was Mattia's way of taking care of me, I wouldn't have bothered to refuse.
Besides, in the past, there were few people who cared about me. But now that the saint of the Order of the Crest is concerned about where I'm going, I should take it in stride.
I know it's a silly feeling. I feel it's silly. But it is a certain pleasure to have someone to whom you can direct such emotions.
Mattia continues with the parchment unfolded in his hands.
But if you can put it into words, that's even better. This time--you have come to ask for my forgiveness, Lugis.
I have come to ask for your forgiveness. When I heard those words, my eyebrows twisted up unconsciously.
It is true, if you ask me, but some sense of discomfort slides through my chest. I can't say exactly what it is, but it's as if an invisible thread is wrapped around my neck without my knowing it. I had a strange feeling of suffocation.
I ducked my eyelids, wondering how I should respond to those words. My lips naturally searched for words, but none of them seemed to fit well with my current state of mind.
"Well, then--will you allow me to go on an expedition to Flimsulat, my Master?
I said that, thinking that it was an embarrassing phrase that didn't suit me. I'm not sure if this is a good idea, but it's a good idea.
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It's a great way to make sure you're getting the most out of your money. As long as that image is required, it is an abomination that should not be swept away by emotions.
Mattia, who had been expected to live as a saint since she was a child, had only been exposed to such an abomination a few times at most. At the very least, she has never shown any emotion other than that of calculation in front of her congregation.
Yes, heartfelt emotions are not necessary for a heraldic saint. All actions should be done through calculation and intellect.
That is why I think. You can't call yourself a saint now, you know. Mattia struggles to keep her voice from trembling and grips her fingers tightly in an attempt to maintain her composure. Some wrinkles appeared on the parchment.
But no matter how much she tried to be normal, her cheeks were unknowingly burning and her eyes were filled with an unaccountable agitation.
What a shameful thing, this is impossible, this is not something that should happen. I stared desperately at the parchment in front of me, but not a single word of it entered my head. In fact, I feel as if my head is boiling even more.
I know the reason. I know why I'm in this situation. It's only because of what Lugis did. He just came to ask for your forgiveness. That's the only thing that loosened my emotional loops and I couldn't close them.
When I think of it, my heart beats even faster, and I am filled with feelings of shame. But at the same time, a feeling of joy is tightening in my chest.
What a shameful thing. Mattia couldn't help but blame himself. It's a joke, she thinks.
But still, her cheeks heat up, and her mouth, which should be tightened, forms a funny line. It's not a face I can show to anyone, not even to myself. Especially, I can't show my face like this in front of him.
--But I can't seem to hide the joy that's beating in my chest.
He's been letting himself go as far as he wants. He has been jumping into danger as if he wanted to.
And now he's listening to Mattia's words. How wonderful. What a pleasure.
I'm sure Lugis doesn't realize it. The old man would never have done such a thing. He's not even aware that there's a thread wrapped loosely around his neck that entangles his spirit.
And even if she were aware of it, what could she do about it? Mattia's lips lifted in a semicircle.
A promise becomes a pledge, a pledge becomes a contract. They are changing their forms, but they are definitely entangling the spirit of Lugis as a thread. It is not something that can be easily extracted. Rather, they entwine more deeply with each word.
That is why Mattia urges Lugis to say more. She asks for forgiveness. Make it clear in your mind that being controlled is not what Mattia wants, but what you want.
Lugis's voice rolled over the tent.
--Will you permit me to go to Flimsulat, my Master?
Accepting the words as they were offered to her. Mattia closed his lips once, as if biting them. She then turned around, desperately tightening her face so that she could still see.
She looks Lugis squarely in the face and says.
"Yes, I'll allow it - I'm very glad you're working for the heraldry and for me, Rougis.
I'm not sure what you mean by that.
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In the event that you have any questions concerning where and how to use the internet, you can call us at the web site. At least that's what Mattia understands.
But that's why I'm saying this. But that's why he says that he is more than happy that she is working for him.
This will put some guilt in his heart. Then, naturally, his attention will turn to himself again. Blurring his original intentions. In fact, Lugis has an embarrassed expression on his face.
Mattia couldn't help the smile on his own cheeks. The smile was a smile that she, as a saint, would never show.
It was a smile that could be called magical, with beautiful lines on her cheeks and eyes that made you fall in love with her.