Mattia's well-defined eyebrows were slightly furrowed, and his lips wavered.
In the darkness, Mattia gently remonstrated with her emotions, hoping that they would not go unnoticed. In her heart, moving and burning like a fury, was the feeling of shame.
Shame. Why did I let my emotions get the better of me, like a fool who doesn't know how to think? It was beyond ridiculous.
Mattia understands that his strength lies in his reason and calculation.
She believes that the only way to get ahead in the world is to have a saint on your face and a poisonous scorpion in your chest. She has been expected to behave as a saint and a saintly woman since she was a child, and she has swallowed this fact well enough. In fact, she even feels that it is unbecoming to live in a way that reveals her emotions.
That's why her white cheeks blushed. What an abomination.
--I'm not grateful to you. No, in fact, I resent you.
The sensation of the rocking carriage is oddly felt in her lap. Mattia's cheeks struggled to keep from twitching.
Oh, I have a grudge. I have a grudge. The curse that had been sitting on my shoulders was going to slip away in a few moments. I could have lost everything and gained the salvation of having lived and died a saint.
Even if the result is the downfall of heraldry. Even if the result is the destruction of heraldry. There was a moment of pleasure, that's for sure.
But... But still, Mattia couldn't help but wonder about her own actions. Even if there was a simmering resentment in her heart, there was no need to tell him what she felt now.
Now that I have lived long enough, I must fulfill my duty as a saint to the end.
For the time being, you can just say a simple thank you and continue to use the adventurer who calls himself Lugis. Mattia understands. It was the best course of action, and there was no need to make trouble with him or them here.
But the emotions swirling in her heart just won't let her do that.
This and that. He, Lugis, is still the cause of all this.
Shameful. I was trained as a saint, but I shouldn't have been upset like this. Even though the faithful were following her around the carriage. Once again, Mattia bit his lip in an unnoticeable manner.
In fact, Mattia's life was saved by Lugis. In that respect, there is nothing wrong with expressing gratitude. However, her head can't get over that moment. The words that tore at Mattia's heart still lingered in her mind.
--Don't act like a saint at a time like this.
I'm a saint. I'll always be a saint. No matter what time of day, Mattia was a saint. And yet this man tries to deny that I'm a saint.
No, no, that's not what's on my mind. There was gratitude for saving my life, but also resentment that I was deprived of the opportunity to free myself from all responsibility in the form of death. Oh God, I don't know. I've never done anything like this before.
It was as if there were several selves in her head, each with a different argument. Mattia blinked his eyes and tilted his head in a whirl of emotions.
The fact that she could not control her emotions to such an extent was like being a child all over again. Before she put on the mask of reason, she was just like herself when she was not a saint.
It can't be. Mattia's expression tightened again.
I have been a saint from the past to the present, without a doubt. That will not change until my death. Mattia didn't understand why she should let her emotions be upset by such a rude man.
In any case, you can't end up exposing your emotions in a disgraceful way. Mattia let out a light exhale, and moved his lips as he caught his breath.
--What's that look of disapproval on your face? You think that rescue was just an act to get my gratitude? That's the extent of your bravery, isn't it?
Without saying a word, he closed his lips. Her eyelids closed. My cheeks twitch.
Strange. I'm sure I could think of many ways to make up for this, many ways to wrap malice in rags. So why is it that all that comes to my mind at this moment are words that are vicious or laced with poison? I haven't said such words out of emotion since I was a child, not even to my parents.
I breathed again, this time slowly formulating the words in my head.
--Just so you know, I don't sleep. You never know what you'll do while you're sleeping.
Mattia didn't say another word until dawn.
It was almost time.
It was almost time for the sun to open its eyes. Suddenly, the carriage stopped moving. Just then, she spat out her tobacco, which had lost its flavor.
In the end, I slept little at night. I didn't feel like going to sleep thinking about the attack from the Daishonikyo side, just in case, and the Master's condition was different from normal times. In the end, it seems I was just being overly cautious in both cases.
"My Master, there's a shadow of a hexenbiest in front of the carriage.
What should we do?" said the guard holding the reins.
As if following his words, I looked ahead. You can see that most of the land is now covered with grass and trees, and that you have entered a land that is beyond the reach of man, the realm of the elves. Even the wagon is now hoofing its way along the roadless path. On the spot, of course, they may enter the realm of wild beasts of prey and magical beasts.
A few horse lengths ahead of the wagon. There was a huge ape sitting there.
It was much bigger than an ordinary horse. And it's not just big. Its eyeballs glittered with an eerie vermilion light, and its mouth, though hidden by its fur, was practically on its belly. The muscles in its arms and legs are ripped to shreds. Every muscle seems to be made of steel. In fact, if you were to pop your fingers, they could easily break a rock.
I've never seen one of these before. I've heard that new types of hexenbiests are on the rise, but are they one of them?
I'm not sure what to make of it, but I'm sure it's a good idea. The shaking of the carriage woke her up. Or perhaps she was awakened when she shifted her head from leaning against it to the side. Her silver hair swayed next to her.
If there's another way around, take it. If there are no other detours, then you'll have to go through .......
With those words, the knights of the guard immediately went to search the surroundings. But it's probably a waste of time. Elven territory is mostly covered with trees, and they do not like to cut them down to make way. This great road was made when this was still the realm of men.
Mattia glanced at me slightly. I wonder if she's implying that I'll be considered a force to be reckoned with in times of need.
Honestly, I hope not. It's not a hexenbiest that an ordinary person like me can fight head-on and win. It's definitely something a group of fully armed knights would face. At first glance, it's certainly not that much of a threat.
By the way, you know a lot about these new hexenbiests. Well, that's... Did your secretive brain ever tell you about it?
Kalia's finger taps lightly on my head. He's still wondering if I'm hiding something. It's true that I'm hiding something, but we all do that.
"Well. But if it comes down to it, there's always a way. And it's not a good idea to trample the territory of the elves, even if you're dealing with a hexenbiest.
But," he said, stroking his chin with a finger. So, by this time, they were already roaming around the elven territory. It was not unexpected, but it was surprising.
After all, it's not surprising... It's heartless. It seems that the world has already begun to prepare for a catastrophe.
A strange heaviness in the air caressed the depths of my lungs.