The night was as cold as winter, although the whole world was obviously covered with spring.
Alan’s skin shone as cool as the moon even in the dark. I couldn’t feel any warmth in his arms that hugged me.
When his cheeks, which had already been chilled, touched me, my eyelashes trembled like butterflies wet in the rain. It wasn’t clear whether it was because of the cold touch or because his drowsy voice was heard from a very close distance.
Because I wouldn’t be able to think properly if I were to be hugged by him.
“Melissa.”
If there is really a devil that seduces humans and leads them to ruin, he will be beautiful enough to captivate anyone at once. And I’m sure the devil would have a voice like this.
I was too weak to resist this ecstatic voice.
“Melissa.”
“…….”
Alan repeatedly called my name. My hatred towards him, who was acting like an old lover, was causing indescribable anger, but my heart was beating as if it were about to explode.
I’ve loved Alan Leopold for too long to be sure that my heart was pounding because of my anger against him…….
“You should hug my waist.”
I was wrapped in his tight arms and not strangled, but for some reason I couldn’t say anything. It was clear that he was doing something magical. Unless…….
“You said a writer should be sincere, Melissa.”
“…….”
Alan sighed as if he was laughing at me, who was frozen without answering. His feathery breath tickled my nervous neck.
“Are you afraid?”
His whisper mixed with laughter, he gently pushed my body, and the world quickly turned upside down. What I felt behind my back was the soft touch of the bed.
I looked up at him with wet eyes mixed with intense anticipation that I couldn’t hide, as if frightened by what was to come.
“Hik…”
Then I had to hold my breath helplessly. The blue-gray gaze that looked down at me was strangely dark and seductive. Like the deep sea that makes you feel infinite fear just by looking at it because you can’t measure its depth.
While my tears were flowing down the corners of my eyes wetting my ears, he slowly leaned down, covering me with his shadow. It was a perfect encroachment.
“Do whatever you want.”
“…….”
“I’ll give you everything. As much as you want…….”
Finally, when I closed my eyes, his petal-like lips fell on my eyelids. Ironically, my stubborn reason shook as if it would collapse at any moment by the small wet sound created by his lips wiping away my tears.
“I’ve been dreaming of you countless times, umm?”
A honey-like whisper permeated my ears. I just bit my lips with the desire to vomit from deep inside my stomach.
I wanted to grab Alan, who makes me helpless against him, by the collar. I wanted to spit out terrible swear words about his incomprehensible misdeeds and roughly scratch his angel-like cheek. I wanted to see him lie down and beg me.
At the same time, the low desire to follow his words as if I couldn’t win rose uncontrollably. I desperately wanted him. Everything up to his beautiful hair. My weak two legs were trembling because I wanted to tie him deeply at the moment.
I managed a single word, from a suppressed moan.
“I wish……”
“You don’t have to hold back (your voice), Melissa.”
(T/N: he is referring to her moan and her guilt)
His low laughter was just as faint as fog. Alan whispered slowly, overlapping my lips.
“It’s a dream anyway.”
* * *
Knock, knock
A sharp knock echoed over the open door.
“Change your clothes and come out.”
A woman’s voice rang in my ear. I opened my eyes, hugging the blanket.
Oh, I came to Arch Hill last night.….
When I rubbed my eyes because of my blurry vision, I saw a maid looking down at me with a displeased face. Her expression was no different from yesterday.
The bustling noises of the mansion, signaling the start of the day, poured in through the open door.
“Come along now. Viscountess Josephine is waiting for you.”
“…..Yes.”
I answered gently with my shoulders curled up. As a guest, I can’t express my dissatisfaction with the attitude of the servants here.
I yawned a little and got up quietly. But as soon as I got out of bed, I suddenly felt a chill. This was because my pyjamas became cold and soggy from the cold sweat I shed last night. Evidently I had a nightmare I can’t recall.….
At that time, the maid tried to turn around and asked with a strange look.
“……What kind of scent is this?”
At those words, I realized that the scent that Julia had sprinkled on my clothes was still wafting in the air. It was then that the events of last night’s dream came to mind vividly.
My morning already became unpleasant.
“Ah…”
Alan Leopold has appeared in my dream several times. Alan in my dream created by my imagination hugged me enthusiastically and kissed me on the cheek.
But still…….
‘I’ll give you everything. As much as you want…….’
That person then…… I can’t believe I even had a dream. The sense of immorality that ran down my spine loosened my legs as if I was about to collapse at any moment.
The middle-aged maid, who has consistently revealed her displeasure, suddenly became concerned and touched my forehead.
“No, I don’t think it’s a fever….”
It was not a very friendly touch, but it was not difficult to read worries from her eyes.
“What’s wrong with you? Oh my god, look at these goosebumps!”
But I wasn’t sick. It’s just that things from my dreams were repeating in my head last night.
His lips had started from the top of my foot and traveled up to the tip of my nose bridge. His brow furrowed as he fiercely pushed me down.
How sweet it was when I drank in his breath as he breathed heavily. Although I felt the same way and enjoyed it I couldn’t help but remain passive and shy in the face of his passion and couldn’t manage to go further.
“…….”
I rather wanted to disappear like this. Even after going through all the events, I still wanted him enthusiastically…… I felt like I was about to suffocate with that heavy sense of shame.
“Are you listening?”
“I-I’m fine. I had a bit of a nightmare.….”
The maid hurriedly checked my complexion to see if I looked okay at first glance. Her eyebrows were furrowed to the fullest, but it was true that the atmosphere had softened, so I had the courage to ask.
“I, maybe….”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Is it okay if I wash myself before I go to breakfast? I sweated a little last night.….”
The maid folded her arms over the white apron and looked over me.
“I…! It won’t take long. Please.”
An urgent voice popped out. From what I heard, it was similar to begging.
The woman looked displeased at me as if she were seeing someone foolish and said,
“Follow me.”
I walked along the long hallway with her. Busy servants passing greeted each other with eye greetings but I didn’t recognize anyone.
Eventually, I turned my attention to the frames in the hallway and the paintings on the ceiling. Last night was so hectic that I couldn’t take a good look at every corner of the mansion, but it was only clear that this old mansion still retains its elegance.
The floor makes a creaking noise every time I take a step, but the mansion is so profound that even that sound feels old-fashioned. Suddenly, I remembered the excitement I had when I first came here. Even though nearly a decade has already passed, it is quite vivid.
“Excuse me……”
“You can call me Mrs. Hugh. I’m the head maid here.”
Embarrassingly, a hard answer came back quickly. I licked my lips awkwardly as I looked at the back of her grey hair that was neatly curled up.
“Oh, my name is Melissa Collins. My father’s aunt, no, he is the niece of the Viscountess Josephine.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry I arrived too late yesterday. I wonder if I woke you up…….”
“…….”
Seeing that there was no answer, it seemed clear that I was an uninvited guest who disturbed Mrs. Hugh’s sleep last night. If I had run straight with a carriage, it wouldn’t have been delayed that much.
I was also struggling to come to Arch Hill by changing carriages several times. But even if I could turn back time, that’s the only way for me. Because I don’t want the cold blue-gray gaze to follow me to the mansion of my great aunt who welcomed me. Nothing could be more painful than that.
“Well, How many people are working in this mansion? As far as I remember, it was thirty,”
“All of them are eight.”
“…..Eight?”
“The Viscount is getting old, so she is slowly organizing her surroundings. Maybe next year it will be even less.”
Mrs. Hugh’s words somehow stung my heart. As I was licking my lips, unable to find the right words to answer, the woman who stood tall spoke,
“Here’s the bathroom. If you need a child to help you,”
“Oh, no! I’ll just wash my body and go out. I remember where the dining room was.”
“Then I’ll put your clothes here.”
“Thank you.”
Nervous at the thought that my aunt was waiting, I hurriedly took off my pyjamas as soon as I closed the door. There was a circular wooden bathtub in the bathroom, and although it was filled with bath water, it was not heated at all, so it was cold as ice.
“……I can’t help it.”
I quickly wiped my body with a dry cloth soaked in the bathtub water. I wanted to wash away last night’s dreams in a hot bubble bath.….
With that in mind, I gently wiped my back with a cold cloth, then suddenly stopped my hand. This cold and rusty texture rather reminded me of someone’s touch. I’m sure it’s an illusion that my skin smells like his scent, but…….
“What’s wrong with me…..”
I became absent-minded as if I had forgotten how to think. The cool, smooth feeling of skin felt when he and I were completely covered. I held my breath as the sense that I was continuing to be embraced in his arms over and over again. It came back so clearly that it was hard to believe it was a dream.
‘I’ve been dreaming of you countless times. Umm?’
“…….”
I felt that my face was burning up as if it would explode at any moment. I was enduring the suffering silently.
No matter how hard I tried to bit my lips or closed my eyes, I couldn’t shake off his persistent gaze and low whisper.
How on earth am I going to face my aunt….
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“I don’t know.”
When my murmuring disappeared with a small echo, I held my breath with a determined face.
Soon after, the tip of my toes, which had been hesitating for a while in the air, dug into the icy water.