Chapter 59: I'm Sorry

“You’re insane! Let go of me!” Ye Jiayao shouted, glaring at him.

“Yaoyao, you’re looking good – even if you are dressed up as a man,” Xia Chunyu teased, doing his best to pretend that he was relaxed.

That smug, teasing face of his just served to rile Ye Jiayao up even more. She cooed bitingly, “Heir-Son Lord, why are you doing this? We’re nothing to each other. I am just a plaything that you abandoned. You’ve already thrown me away, so why are you pestering me again? I already did you a favor by not looking for you, what more do you want?”

“Who says I want to abandon you?” Xia Chunyu countered.

Ye Jiayao sneered, “Isn’t that so?”

“Of course not,” Xia Chunyu replied defensively. “I have never intended to abandon you. It was just chaotic that night and I lost track of things. I searched for you after Auntie Jiang said that you were held hostage by Second-In-Charge, but someone said he saw you fell off the cliff, I thought…”

“You thought I died? Well then, just carry on thinking as if I’m dead and we can all go on our merry way.”

Xia Chunyu was silent for a while. There was a rarely seen gentleness and heartache in his eyes when he said, “I brought Da Bao and Er Bao back with me. They have grown big and fat, and are very mischievous.”

Ye Jiayao turned to look at the river to avoid his eyes. She missed Da Bao and Er Bao a lot. Before she escaped, she combed the entire house trying to look for them. When they didn’t turn up, she thought they have escaped back to the mountains.

This donkey actually brought them back.

What was this supposed to mean? He rejected her, but he took care of her pets. What exactly does he want?

“You want the truth? Fine. I admit I was Yaoyao once, but that Yaoyao has already died when she fell off the cliff after you abandoned her. The person standing before you now is Li Yao, an orphan with no home to go back to. That’s okay, though, I don’t have to depend on anyone to survive. I will rise up and live a colorful, happy life. So, if you are looking for me because of guilt, there’s no need. I’m more than alright. You don’t have to ‘make up’ for anything, there is nothing between us anymore,” Ye Jiayao said coldly.

Xia Chunyu did not know what to say. There was a huge lump stuck in his throat and he felt helpless.

There was once a time that she depended on him, but he let her down. He didn’t know how she managed to escape death. The Haze lake is ten lis wide, swimming across that, especially for someone her size, would’ve been nearly impossible. He has no idea how she managed to come to Jin Ling from Ji Nan. A weak woman like her, with Little Jing who knows nothing tagging along with her… she must have suffered much.

“Yaoyao, please don’t be like that,” he said, his voice breaking. “I won’t make excuses for whatever happened in Black Wind Ridge. I know I have let you down. I wanted to help you settle down appropriately after the matter was over…”

Ye Jiayao pierced him with a sharp glare. ” Help me settle down appropriately? How exactly did you plan to do that? Were you going to bring me back to the Jing An Marquis Mansion and make me your mistress? Or were you just going to dismiss with a few taels?”

The corner of Ye Jiayao’s lips rose in a self-mocking sneer when she saw the guilt in his eyes grew deeper. She was right.

If that was the case, she was truly glad to have just fallen off the cliff. She would rather roam the streets as a beggar than become his concubine.

“Heir-Son Lord, the show has ended, it’s time for the audience and the actors to go their separate ways. What’s in the past stays in the past, there is no need to rehash it again now that we’re both living our own lives.” Ye Jiayao made a show of looking around before pulling her hand away from his grasp. “It’s getting dark, I need to go back before the inn closes.”

Xia Chunyu refused to let her go, his grip becoming tighter.

“Xia Chunyu, don’t make me hate you.”

Xia Chunyu didn’t know what to say or what to do. This meeting has gone so awry, so different from the sweet reunion he imagined. He was powerless. The happiness, frustration, helplessness, and the  love  he was feeling was all jumbled together, making it almost impossible for him to breathe.

He pulled her into a tight hug, wishing that she could melt into his body so that they would never separate again, wishing that they could stay like this forever.

He inhaled her scent greedily, taking comfort in her. For countless nights, he dreamed of hugging her just like this. It had always felt so real that when he wakes up alone, the ache in his chest would throb like a live wound. He has never told anyone about this, his pride would not allow him to. Only the lantern by his bed knew how he truly felt, that he missed her so much he was going crazy.

“Yaoyao, I’m sorry, so, so sorry. This is all my fault. You can hit me, yell at me, I don’t care, just give me another chance. Please. I will never let you down again, I swear…”

In his whole life, he has never begged someone so humbly like this, but he was prepared to do anything, give anything just to see Yaoyao’s sweet smile again.

Ye Jiayao stood still as a statue as he hugged her, her heart aching. Even if she gave him another chance, what could happen? He could never marry her. He didn’t care much for her when he found out that she was a lady of the Ye family, what more now that she was a mere chef in the city?

They have no future together. She had seen too much, been through too much to allow herself to believe in a silly daydream.

Once bitten, twice shy.

Her fear has taught her that without hope, there will not be a disappointment; if she does not love, she will not get hurt. Her innate pride wouldn’t let her give in to him. She’d rather be a shattered vessel of jade than an unbroken piece of pottery.

And it was her pettiness that urged her to seek revenge for all the hurt that she suffered, for all the pain that she felt.

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She kneed his crotch.

With his guards down, Xia Chunyu didn’t see it coming. His hold on her loosened as the pain hit him. He curled up into a ball, cradling his crotch and grimacing in pain. He managed to say through gritted teeth, “Ye Jinxuan…”

“Xia Chunyu, I may be of a humble social status, but that does not mean you have the right to put your hands on me whenever you want. I’m warning you, don’t bother me again.” Ye Jiayao turned and ran away.

Xia Chunyu broke out in cold sweat, the pain holding him temporarily immobile. He could only watch her run away as he ground his teeth with hatred.  You insufferable wench! If this does any lasting damage, I swear you’ll pay.

Ye Jiayao ran back to the inn as fast as she could. When Little Yang saw her huffing and puffing, he asked, “Little Brother Li, is there a dog chasing you outside?”

Ye Jiayao panted, “Yeah, yeah, a huge dog, I almost got bitten. I’m going back to my room to calm my nerves.”

Little Yang watched Little Brother Li retreat, all the while thinking whether he should report this to the Young Royal Highness Jing or not.

As soon as Ye Jiayao shut her door, she plopped face down on her bed, exhausted. Her mind, however, was more active than before, echoing all that he said, flashing his guilty eyes…

Ye Jiayao gloomily covered her face with a pillow.  No.  She would not believe him. He just said all those things because he was feeling guilty. He just wanted to redeem himself.  You can’t fall for him again, Yaoyao.

Just as her thoughts stopped running a mile a minute and started to settle down, she recalled the violent knee kick she gave him and paled. That must’ve hurt badly.

Would he become infertile from that?

Well, that would serve him right for getting fresh with her.

Ye Jiayao tried to sleep but she could not stop her imagination from running wild.

What if he refuses to let her off?

What if he pesters her every day?

No, no, no! You are thinking too much, Ye Jiayao. If he really cares so much about you, he would not have abandoned you in the first place. You are not important to him.

Xia Chunyu limped and hobbled with great difficulty back to the Jing An Marquis Residence.

He did not bring anyone along with him tonight, so he had no choice but to suffer alone. Never in his wildest dreams did he imagine that Yaoyao would do this to him.

Song Qi, who has been waiting at the front door for news, immediately hurried to Chunyu’s side upon seeing his terrible state. “Heir-Son Lord, what…”

Xia Chunyu snorted melancholically but didn’t say anything.

Song Qi thought that the Heir-Son Lord would return happy, and possibly bring Miss Ye back with him.  What on earth happened? Did the two of them quarrel? How bad did their fight get that the Heir-Son Lord got injured?

“Should I get a physician to take a look at you, Heir-Son Lord?” Song Qi asked worriedly.

Xia Chunyu replied coldly, “No need.”

“Heir-Son lord, be careful of the doorstep.”

Xia Chunyu lifted his foot and had to clamp his mouth tight so that he wouldn’t cry out from the sharp pain the movement caused.

The next day, Ye Jiayao went to work listlessly. She was so keyed up that she happily welcomed the distraction of Little Jing’s arrival.

“Have you gotten that fish bone out? Really, Little Jing, you didn’t even get someone to deliver a letter,” Ye Jiayao reproached him immediately.

Helian Jing replied sulkily, “There’s no fish bone. I was just putting on an act. I had no choice, Brother Chunyu was poking around too much. I was afraid you’d get angry. I was so miserable yesterday! After finishing half a bottle of vinegar, I was forced to drink a huge bowl of medicine by Brother Chunyu. When I went home, I vomited everything out. Worst of all, my mother kept hovering over me the whole day that I could not reach out to anyone.”

Aye!  From Ah Xing and Deng Haichuan’s vivid description yesterday, she really thought that he got a fish bone stuck in his throat! Only Little Jing would come up with such ridiculousness just because of what she said.

“What medicine did he make you drink? You can’t just take any medicine. Are you okay?” Ye Jiayao asked, concerned.

Seeing Brother Yaoyao care and worry about him so much was worth any amount of medicine Helian Jing had to take.

“It’s nothing. I am fine after vomiting,” Helian Jing assured with a smile.

“If he wants to come in the future, just let him, don’t worry about it,” Ye Jiayao said. “Oh right, why were you looking for me yesterday?”

Helian Jing sat up straight and began, “Next month is my grandmother’s 70th birthday. I have thought of a few programs, but I still would like you to give me some advice. Also, I want to invite you to be the chef.”