Chapter 39: CH 39

In May, Tang Ziyou was inexplicably worried. In his last life, he had an accident in this month, so this time in this life, Tang Ziyou was cautious and asked Liu Xu to push back all his announcements and planned to spend this month safely.

After Gu Jiuci finished filming, except for some magazine covers and advertising endorsements that needed to be filmed, he had nothing else to do, so he stayed at Tang Ziyou’s house and learned to cook with him.

Tang Ziyou was teaching, suddenly he remembered that at this time in his last life, he was filming outside, so he asked him, “Don’t you have a play recently?”

“I just finished it.” Gu Jiuci said.

Tang Ziyou frowned. He thought for a while and then asked, “Did you film 《Two-thirds of the Dream》 before?”

“Right.”

“Haven’t you received a script called 《The Opposite》?”

“There is, but I didn’t join.”

“Why?” Tang Ziyou was surprised. He remembered that at this time in his last life, Gu Jiuci was filming this play.

“If I take it, I have to seamlessly join the group. I’m not used to it. I always shoot one play, take a few months off, and then shoot the next one.”

Tang Ziyou frowned. He vaguely felt that his rebirth had really caused the butterfly effect. In his last life, Gu Jiuci didn’t shoot 《Spring Festival》 or 《Two-thirds of the Dream》, but in this life, Gu Jiuci didn’t shoot 《The Opposite》.

Tang Ziyou felt that it should be the month of 《Spring Festival》 that disrupted his plan so that his timeline changed the original trajectory, which was why the current situation occurred.

“What’s wrong?” Gu Jiuci asked him, “How do you know the script of 《The Opposite》?”

“I heard Liu Xu mention it.” Tang Ziyou thought of an excuse.

Gu Jiuci didn’t doubt him, “This script is actually okay, but I don’t have time. Otherwise, I should be able to take it.”

Tang Ziyou nodded.

Gu Jiuci suddenly thought of something and asked him, “Do you want to see the concert? FK band will come here for a concert in a few days. Do you want to see it?”

Tang Ziyou, who had an accident on the way to the concert in his last life: ……

Tang Ziyou said coldly, “I don’t want to.”

Gu Jiuci was a little disappointed, “I like this band quite a bit.”

“Then go and see.” Tang Ziyou said, “I don’t really want to go out recently.”

Gu Jiuci also knew that he had pushed a lot of work down recently, so he wondered, “Did you have something to do recently? Or you’re not feeling well, so you don’t want to go out.”

“I’m not feeling well.” Tang Ziyou said casually.

Gu Jiuci instantly became nervous, “Where is it uncomfortable?”

“I can’t say, but I’m just too lazy to move and don’t want to go out.”

Gu Jiuci remembered his grandfather’s illness. For fear that Tang Ziyou would also have a physical problem in a place he didn’t know, he took him to the hospital the next day.

“I haven’t gone to the medical examination for a long time. You come with me, okay.”

Although Tang Ziyou didn’t want to go out very much, he remembered that he didn’t seem to have a physical examination for a long time, so he went together.

Gu Jiuci originally wanted him to have a physical examination. At this moment, he heard him say, “Alright, I’ll take a physical examination by the way,” and quickly nodded in agreement, “En, let’s we both have a physical examination.”

The two of them got up early, had a physical examination for a long time, and then went home.

Fortunately, the results of the physical examination weren’t bad. Gu Jiuci was relieved.

* * *

That night, Gu Jiuci lay in the guest bedroom of Tang Ziyou’s house, wondering when he would be able to upgrade from the guest bedroom to the master bedroom, and fell asleep after thinking about it.

He had a dream in which he went back to the time when he and Tang Ziyou first got engaged.

Gu Jiuci felt that this was fine. It just happened that he could make up for Tang Ziyou this time and get along well with him from the very beginning.

However, what surprised him was that in the dream, he still had the same opinion about Tang Ziyou’s forced engagement as before.

Gu Jiuci looked at it and wanted to do something to remedy it, but couldn’t do anything.

He saw that he began to alienate Tang Ziyou after he had a good impression of him. He also saw Tang Ziyou painting at home, waiting for him to come back.

When autumn came, Gu Jiuci realized that Tang Ziyou was about to leave. He wanted to appear in front of Tang Ziyou before he left to stop him from moving out.

However, he still couldn’t do anything. In the dream, he was still busy with his work. Gu Jiuci was in a hurry. Tang Ziyou was about to leave, so he had to go back and stop him.

But when he came home from work, he was surprised to find that Tang Ziyou didn’t leave and stayed at home as always.

Is it a dream that is different from reality?

Gu Jiuci breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that they should get better soon.

However, the dream didn’t turn out as he wished. He still kept a deliberate distance from Tang Ziyou. He only appeared when Tang Ziyou needed him and wanted to see him.

The new year passed by in a hurry. The relationship between Tang Ziyou and him didn’t improve much.

Gu Jiuci looked at it and vaguely realized that if Tang Ziyou hadn’t left at that time and hadn’t taken the initiative to end the relationship, then they would have been like in this dream.

He thought that Tang Ziyou didn’t mean what he said. He clearly said that if the engagement wasn’t suitable, they would separate, but after so long, he also saw that they weren’t suitable, but he refused to mention the word separation.

However, he also felt that it was okay. They were already fiancés. He had already thought about their future, so it would be fine if they didn’t separate.

He looked at the people around him and thought: After half a year, he would tell him that they had been engaged for a year, also should have some feelings and then together with him to cultivate the feelings.

At that time, Tang Ziyou should be very happy.

He thought so, so he did that.

This was Gu Jiuci’s original plan. Now it seemed awkward and somewhat stupid, but at that time, his feelings for Tang Ziyou were very complicated, so he didn’t think there was anything wrong with his thinking.

Gu Jiuci sighed, thinking that he probably had to chase Tang Ziyou again in his dream.

Too childish, how could he be so awkward back then!

Then he saw a picture that he would never forget in his life.

In May in late spring, he was busy shooting movies. Tang Ziyou was at home alone.

FK band came to X City for a concert. Tang Ziyou bought a ticket and planned to go to the concert.

He liked FK band in general, just because he liked it, so he loved the house and its crow (爱屋及乌, meant loving them and caring about people or things related to them, here). He thought that since he couldn’t go, he could still call him on the spot.

However, the accident happened so fast that Gu Jiuci didn’t react until the moment Tang Ziyou fell.

He stared blankly with cold hands and feet. His heart was full of fear. He wanted to rush over in the state of hard to believe it, but he couldn’t make any movement.

He saw someone take out a cell phone from Tang Ziyou’s pocket and make a call.

He also saw that in another city, he was arguing fiercely with the rest of the crew. The two sides were arguing more and more intense. Gu Jiuci heard his cell phone ring.

He took it out and took a look, but didn’t answer. He continued to emphasize his point of view with the other party.

However, the other party was unwilling to show weakness. It made no sense that she started crying. It wasn’t easy to stop her crying, she scolded him for having no sympathy and ignorance of human sufferings. (哭哭啼啼的喊着她也不容易)

Gu Jiuci felt annoyed, but the screenwriter was still speaking for her, and her agent also begged him to give her this chance.

Gu Jiuci refused. The crying actress opened her mouth again, crying and screaming about her grievances.

He listened to trouble. The phone in his hand also kept ringing.

The two voices overlapped, causing a headache.

He answered the phone reluctantly. Before the other end had time to speak, he took the lead and said, “I have something to do now. I have no time to answer your call. Don’t bother me.”

After speaking, he hung up the phone and confronted the other party again.

On the other side, Tang Ziyou closed his eyes silently and quietly.

Gu Jiuci was awakened by fear. He sat on the bed in a cold sweat.

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He turned on the bedside lamp tremblingly. His mind was full of the images from the dream just now.

He gasped, couldn’t believe it, and dare not to believe it.

How could he have such a dream? Tang Ziyou… where’s Tang Ziyou!?

Gu Jiuci suddenly lifted the quilt and got out of bed. Without having time to put on his shoes, he hurriedly ran towards Tang Ziyou’s bedroom.

He pressed the door handle, walking in immediately. He turned on the light hastily and saw Tang Ziyou lying on the bed with a calm face.

Gu Jiuci finally felt relieved and took a breath.

Tang Ziyou opened his eyes stimulated by the light and said in a daze, “Who?”

“Me.” Gu Jiuji said tremblingly and walked over, “I had a nightmare, so I came to see you.”

He stared at him intently as if to make sure he was okay but also as if he wanted to engrave him in his eyes and heart.

Tang Ziyou sat up from the quilt, rubbing his eyes. His voice was soft as he had just woken up, “Had a nightmare?”

Gu Jiuji nodded and approached him.

Tang Ziyou looked at him as if he saw something. He let him sit beside the bed and approached him by himself.

Gu Jiuci just stared at him, without blinking his eyes.

Tang Ziyou touched his forehead, covered in sweat.

“I thought I was wrong,” he said in surprise.

He took a piece of paper, wiped the sweat from Gu Jiuci’s forehead, and wiped the sweat from the hand he just touched.

Just as he was wiping, Gu Jiuci suddenly hugged him, hugging him so tightly.

Tang Ziyou hesitated for a moment, then patted him on the back with a little doubt, “Is it really so scary? How could it scare you like this.”

“En.” Gu Jiuci hugged him tightly and whispered, “It’s terrible, really terrible.”

“What dream?” Tang Ziyou asked him.

Gu Jiuci couldn’t say it, it was too unlucky, he was afraid.

He just hugged Tang Ziyou, feeling guilty and uncomfortable then only say, “I’m sorry.”

“Why did you suddenly say sorry to me?” Tang Ziyou was puzzled.

“I was too childish before.” Gu Jiuci said, “I’m too awkward. You’re right. There are 365 days in a year, so many days but what if there’s an accident.”

Tang Ziyou was stunned for a moment. He sensed something sensitively. He looked down at Gu Jiuci, guessing whether his dream was related to the accident in his previous life.

“You dreamed that I had an accident?” Tang Ziyou probed.

“No.” Gu Jiuci quickly denied, “How could you have an accident? You won’t. It’s impossible. You will always be fine and live a hundred years.”

He said in a hurry, his eyes were full of panic. Tang Ziyou listened and thought that he should have guessed correctly.

“Will you feel bad if I have an accident?” He looked at Gu Jiuci and asked him with his own selfishness, “Will you miss me? Will you remember me for the rest of your life?”

Gu Jiuci didn’t say anything, just looking at him with pain.

After a long time, he said, “I will hate myself. I will never forgive myself in my life.”

Tang Ziyou didn’t expect him to answer like this. He shook his head and said generously, “The reason why the accident is an accident is that it didn’t happen under normal circumstances. It has nothing to do with you, so it’s unnecessary.”

Gu Jiuci also shook his head, “It’s not the same, I’ll be sad when someone else has an accident, feel grieve, I’ll always remember him, but you’re different. I didn’t tell you that I liked you. I owe you a share of being loved. I liked you, I was going to give it back to you, but I didn’t pay it back, although I obviously have a chance to return what I owe you. I won’t forgive myself.”

Gu Jiuci looked at him. His heart was full of sadness.

He couldn’t imagine what would happen if the dream continued. What would happen to him if he realized that Tang Ziyou was gone after the argument and the call he just hung up was the last call before Tang Ziyou’s death.

He thought he was going to die.

He would never have will and happiness in his life.

He would live in this day’s regret and self-blame all his life.

All his unrestrainedness and willfulness, hope and future, would come to an end on this day, leaving only desolation.

Tang Ziyou looked at the self-blame and regret, helplessness and pain in his eyes. He suddenly wanted to know what Gu Jiuci looked like after his death in his last life.

However, he was also afraid.

He was afraid that Gu Jiuci would blame himself too much, that Gu Jiuci would always live in the shadow of his accidental death. He was even more afraid that Gu Jiuci would spend the rest of his life unable to open his knot heart because of him.

He liked him after all, so he hoped to see Gu Jiuci miss him and regret that he didn’t cherish him, but he also hoped that he could be happy and safe.

It was just an accident. It had nothing to do with Gu Jiuci. He didn’t know anything. He didn’t do anything. He didn’t even know that he went out that day and wanted to go to the concert.

He was innocent, so he just needed to miss him and didn’t need to have a knotted heart for him.

“It’s okay.” Tang Ziyou persuaded him, “You can make up for me now.”

Gu Jiuci nodded and hugged him again.

Tang Ziyou comforted and rubbed his back. He heard Gu Jiuci apologize to him, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

He really didn’t take one year seriously.

One year, how fast it went, he just made two plays then passed by.

However, how could life move forward steadily according to his plan step by step.

He never hated Tang Ziyou. His biggest resentment against Tang Ziyou was that he knew he didn’t want to force him to get engaged, but he really liked him later and was willing to take care of him. He hoped that he would be well.

Therefore, he persuaded himself to go to work, thinking that when he worked, a year would pass quickly and they could start a new chapter.

So, he only set them up for a year and didn’t want him to wait too long.

He thought that one year was very simple and easy to pass.

But he forgot that in this world, in addition to plans and arrangements, there were accidents.

He never thought that Tang Ziyou would have an accident, let alone that he would leave, especially under the circumstances at that time.

Gu Jiuci had never been so afraid in his life.

He couldn’t imagine Tang Ziyou leaving with his love for him and still loving him before he died, but he didn’t know that his love had already responded for a long time.

It was so cruel, he couldn’t bear it.

He would never forgive himself in his life.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.” Tang Ziyou said softly, “Aren’t I fine? So it’s alright.”

He touched Gu Jiuci’s head and heard Gu Jiuci whisper, “I love you.”

Tang Ziyou smiled, “En, I know. I love you, too.”

He opened the distance from Gu Jiuci, looked at the man who was afraid like a child in front of him, leaned against his forehead, and said softly, “So, don’t worry about that.”

Gu Jiuci kissed his forehead and hugged him again.

He held the person in his arms. Although he was already in his arms, he was still afraid.

“Can I sleep with you today?” Gu Jiuci said nervously.

Tang Ziyou didn’t plan to let him rub against his bed so early, but Gu Jiuci seemed to be really frightened tonight, so he nodded and agreed, “Okay.”

Gu Jiuci was relieved after this. He kissed his side face and said gently, “Thank you. Xiao You is really good.”

“Xiao Jiu is also very good.” Tang Ziyou smiled and kissed him back, “We are both good.”

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