Ch54 - During That Instant, Yan Qiu Felt As If He Saw His Younger Self

Translator: Mogumoguchan

Editor: lolimelon 

Yan Qiu was stunned. 

‘What’s with this question? Why would I need to remember myself?’

 

 

[That one was a handsome boy. It’s a pity what happened to him.] Lin Wei’s message sounded like she was sighing. [It’s something that happened a long time ago. You shouldn’t know. I think it’s the year we first enrolled in the school.]

Yan Qiu had a stern expression as he listened to Lin Wei talk about what happened in the past through her angle.  

[I was too stupid. I heard rumors about Yan Qiu not being on good terms with Ji Xinglan, and I thought that they were competitors.] He could sense the resignation in Lin Wei’s words through the screen. 

 

[Yan Qiu tried to woo me in the beginning, and Ji Xinglan also started getting close to me because of it. I know that this was definitely not true love, but a competition between those alphas.] Since Lin Wei was not talking to an alpha, she did not need to care about her image. [But that’s nothing. It’s a great boost to your ego if you can date Ji Xinglan, right? Even if he doesn’t like me, it’s worth it.

[Since both of them showed interest in me, I hesitated for a moment before I chose Ji Xinglan. But in the end, right when I told that bastard my answer, he rejected me!

[I thought that it was strange. If he doesn’t like me, why did he flirt with me and ask for my terminal number?! Is he insane or what?! I’ve been in the dating scene for years, and I’ve never seen someone like him, he doesn’t act according to conventions!]

 

Yan Qiu stared at the screen and felt his breath hitch. Ji Xinglan was indeed someone who could do such a jerkish move. 

[I didn’t notice it in the beginning, but later on, I understood it. When we were together, his eyes were forever fixed on someone else.] Lin Wei sent this message to him. [You know about Yan Qiu’s accident, right?]

Yan Qiu rubbed his nose. [Yeah.]

 

It was not a beautiful memory, so he was quite reluctant to remember it.  

[Ji Xinglan didn’t go to school on the second day after Yan Qiu’s accident. After that, he did not go to school for nearly half a year. At that time, some rumors said he caused Yan Qiu’s accident because he was trying to seek revenge. I don’t know whether other people believed in it, but I don’t. Later on, the investigation reports showed that this was indeed a traffic accident.

[In any case, I am a girl Yan Qiu likes. Even though I didn’t agree to date him, I would occasionally go to his grave to pay him respects. Every time, I would run into Ji Xinglan. He just sat there every day, like he’s parked there. How could they have possibly just had a normal relationship?] Lin Wei delivered a logical argument. [Later on, I was curious, so I investigated some things. I noticed that the grave was bought in his name, and he also bought the grave next to it at the same time.]

When Lin Wei remembered it, her heart still trembled in fear. [I was shocked at that time, so I quickly thought of a way to contact his family so that they would pay attention to his mental state. Thank goodness he was alright.]

When he saw this, Yan Qiu’s pupils instantly widened.  

Now that she said this, Yan Qiu had to believe in her. 

A girl’s instincts were usually very sharp. If Lin Wei said that Ji Xinglan always looked at someone else when he was with her, then it must be true. 

Yan Qiu tried to recall who Ji Xinglan looked at when he was with him. 

He remembered that Ji Xinglan would only look at him. Every time Yan Qiu subconsciously decided to look at him, he would meet his gaze. If it only happened once or twice, it could be considered an accident, but it happened every time.  

That person would even get jealous over a cat. 

Yan Qiu felt as if his heart had been seized, and his lips trembled. He did not know what to say. 

 

Lin Wei did not know about this situation. She was still trying to persuade him against dating Ji Xinglan because she was experienced. [Anyway, I’m telling you, be careful.

[I believe that he’s currently doing the same thing to you as he did to me. I don’t believe that there is anyone who can be so loyal in love. The person he likes is already dead for such a long time, but he still can’t forget him? There’s a high chance that Ji Xinglan has already fallen in love with Xie Yu, and since Xie Yu likes you, that’s why he started wooing you. Don’t fall for it. Unless he personally admits that he likes you, don’t believe it.] 

Yan Qiu’s mind was in a mess. He did not even read a single thing that Lin Wei sent to him later on. 

Yan Qiu absentmindedly sat through half a class and wanted badly to run off to Ji Xinglan to demand answers right now. 

He was eager to listen to what Ji Xinglan had to say. 

If what Lin Wei said were true, why didn’t Ji Xinglan tell him these things? 

Was it because he was afraid that he would end up scaring Yan Qiu away, and Yan Qiu would ignore him?

Yan Qiu knew very clearly that if he did not like Ji Xinglan, once he knew these things, he definitely wouldn’t stay in his house anymore in the future. 

Also, Yan Qiu had never shown any signs that he liked Ji Xinglan before. He only treated him coldly and mocked him. 

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

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Ji Xinglan had his hands in his pockets, and he looked indifferent. While he walked together with Xie Yu, they glared at each other.

These two had never seen eye to eye, and they looked like they were about to start fighting at any moment. When Yan Qiu saw this, he stood up and ran out from the back door.  

When Xie Yu saw Yan Qiu, he immediately tugged at his sleeve and said provocatively at Ji Xinglan, “Yan Qiu is my family. Ji Xinglan, if you bully him, I will definitely beat you up. Also, make sure that all your admirers have no hope of being together with you, understand?”

Yan Qiu saw that Xie Yu was craning his neck while arguing with Ji Xinglan, and it was only at that moment that he noticed that Xie Yu was actually feeling that things were unfair for him. Yan Qiu did not dare let Ji Xinglan know that he was jealous and tell Ji Xinglan to stay away from other girls, but Xie Yu could say that to Ji Xinglan’s face. 

Ji Xinglan nodded slightly. He did not have any opinion toward the other things Xie Yu said, but he felt slight displeasure toward Xie Yu’s first sentence. 

He stared at the hand Xie Yu used to hold Yan Qiu’s sleeve, and he looked a little displeased. He quickly reached out to tug Yan Qiu’s other sleeve and said, “Mine.” 

There was a rather strange look on Yan Qiu’s face when he watched Ji Xinglan hold his sleeve. When Ji Xinglan looked at him, there was a profound look in his eyes. He was also frowning a little because he did not know what Yan Qiu wanted to say. 

He thought that Yan Qiu was displeased with him arguing with Xie Yu, and Xie Yu had to protect his best friend. With great resentment, Ji Xinglan let go. 

 

At that moment, some abnormal noises came from the stairs. 

Yan Qiu looked in the direction of the noises and found that there were a lot of people standing over there. They were all the gossip mongers on the forum, and some of them even held cameras.  

Ji Xinglan looked in the direction where Yan Qiu’s gaze was fixed, and he also noticed that they were being watched. He knew that Yan Qiu did not like being close to him in public, so he let go of Yan Qiu’s sleeve. 

But in the next second, Yan Qiu held his hand. 

Yan Qiu did not have any expression on his face. With natural movements, he seized his hand. Unperturbed in the slightest, he clasped Ji Xinglan’s hand and ran down the stairs. 

The aura Yan Qiu gave off was slightly strange. The group was stunned and did not move as they watched them leave.  

Xie Yu was rooted to the ground, and he looked so dumbfounded that he was like a giant baby who was abandoned. 

However, he was not taken aback because his boss had dragged Ji Xinglan away, but because there was something off about his boss. 

They had known each other for years, and he had never seen Yan Qiu react that way. He seemed to be holding his emotions back, but there was also a determination in him, making him look like he was about to face a storm. 

Xie Yu blinked. He strongly suspected that Ji Xinglan had offended Yan Qiu somehow, and that was why Yan Qiu wanted to drag him to some deserted place to beat him up.  

“Looks like Ji Xinglan won this battle.”

The battle between two alphas ended beautifully, and the onlookers sighed as they looked in the direction where Yan Qiu and Ji Xinglan had left. 

Yan Qiu dragged Ji Xinglan down and left the school. 

He walked quickly as he held Ji Xinglan’s hand. Without even turning his head back, he just moved forward, and once they arrived at the parking lot, he saw that there was no one around, so he opened the car door and pushed Ji Xinglan inside before he sat inside. 

Perhaps it was because he was too anxious, but Yan Qiu was rather violent when he shut the door. The door slammed shut with a loud bang, and due to his haste, it clamped down on Yan Qiu’s hem, which he had not managed to pull in in time. 

Yan Qiu tugged it a few times but did not manage to pull it out. So he decided to just remove his jacket. 

After Ji Xinglan was sneakily pushed into the car, he stared at Yan Qiu curiously as he suddenly started removing his jacket. Then, he could not help it. He started snickering, causing Yan Qiu to turn red. 

Once he started laughing, Yan Qiu immediately remembered what had happened that day at the back seat. The car had been filled with a nice fragrance, along with thick pheromones. Two days ago, Yan Qiu had personally borne witness in this car that Ji Xinglan was truly 18cm down there.  

Yan Qiu felt serious and growled at him. “I’m being serious here.”

“…”

 

Ji Xinglan propped up his head and looked at Yan Qiu. His beautiful eyes were lit up with amusement. He did not seem to believe that Yan Qiu would be able to say anything serious when he had even removed his jacket. 

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“Stop fooling around. I really have something to ask you.” Yan Qiu brought his hand up stiffly and rubbed his nose for a moment. He tried to speak as faintly as possible, “Did you handle my funeral?” 

Ji Xinglan seemed to be a little surprised. Yan Qiu could see the amusement that had been dancing in his eyes swiftly disappearing. He discreetly averted his gaze and looked down. Yan Qiu did not know what he was thinking. 

Ji Xinglan was a very sharp person. He noticed that Yan Qiu must have gotten to know something the moment he asked this. 

“Yes.” Ji Xinglan tried to answer as calmly as possible. 

It was not a bad thing to help Yan Qiu with his funeral, and there was nothing wrong even if he admitted it. What he was worried about was why Yan Qiu mentioned this. Did he end up knowing about more things by deciphering the clues? 

“Then, why did you put my picture in your study?” Just as he expected, Yan Qiu was interrogating him. He quirked his eyes and pointed at Ji Xinglan before he could deny it. He said in a rather aggressive manner, “Don’t even think about denying it. I saw it on the first day itself. Why do you have my picture in your house?”

“…”

When Yan Qiu saw that he was not speaking, he decided to add something, because he just could not control his mouth. “If you don’t tell me the truth,  I’m going to think that you’ve been touching yourself every day in the study with my picture as material.”

Yan Qiu’s threat was very weak. It was still too weak against a cunning fox-like Ji Xinglan.  

He decided to stake everything and be shameless. So he avoided the question and took Yan Qiu’s offer for him to get out of answering. He smiled and said, “If that’s what you think, so be it.”

Yan Qiu frowned as if he regarded this in disdain. Meanwhile, he wondered whether Ji Xinglan had really touched himself before. 

“Alright.” Since Ji Xinglan refused to admit it, Yan Qiu did not press for an answer. He was not in urgent need of it, anyway. He changed the topic. “Then, do you remember that I had once wooed Lin Wei?”

When he heard this, Ji Xinglan’s expression finally changed a little. It seemed like Yan Qiu had mentioned something he did not want to recall.  

Yan Qiu was determined to get him to tell him the truth today. So, he decided to press on and continued demanding answers. “Then tell me. Why did you compete against me when I wooed Lin Wei? And why did Lin Wei say that you rejected her after I gave up?

“Well? Mr. Ji, tell me.” 

Yan Qiu drew his face closer and reached out to tilt his chin up. But Ji Xinglan held his wrist and trapped him in place. 

Ji Xinglan seemed to be feeling a little flustered because of his question. He did not know how to answer for the time being, so his grip was a little tight when he grabbed Yan Qiu’s wrist. He pressed him against the driver’s seat.  

He looked a little pathetic when he was pinned against the seat. But Yan Qiu looked at his wrist and Ji Xinglan’s hand holding his wrist, and he smiled a little. 

The temperature in the narrow car increased quickly. Yan Qiu drew his face close to Ji Xinglan’s face. He whispered into Ji Xinglan’s ear, “Alright. Last question, was that love letter really for me?”

 

If he had been beating around the bush previously, now, the last question was him going straight to the point. 

Did Ji Xinglan write the love letter for him? 

Did Ji Xinglan fall in love with him two years ago?

Did he, or did he not?

Yan Qiu raised his head slightly to look at Ji Xinglan. Ji Xinglan remained leaning against the backrest in a relaxed fashion, but now, the elbow he had propped up against the car window was down. He placed his hand on his lap, and he curled his fingers in a rather stiff motion. 

Ji Xinglan looked down. His exquisite features were still beautiful, but there was a slight resignation in his eyes.  

From the side, Yan Qiu could clearly see his curled eyelashes fluttering. Yan Qiu gulped as well. 

“Why don’t you have the courage to admit it, even though you did it? Are you afraid of me? Are you afraid that I won’t like you?” Yan Qiu looked at his alarmed and silent expression, and he looked like the Ji Xinglan from that time. That willful nature of his stirred up, and he stared at Ji Xinglan. 

Ji Xinglan tried his best to remain calm, but Yan Qiu could tell that his lips were trembling. His fingers looked long, and the knuckles were prominent on his thighs. But now, they also looked pale and bloodless. 

“You know.” After some time, he smiled wanly and said.  

“Yes. I know everything.”

“I’ve had a crush on you for a long time, and I often have unspeakable dreams about you. I’m a pervert.” Ji Xinglan looked down as he confessed to Yan Qiu. “But you don’t like me, so I can only watch you in the shadows. I often go to your school, but it’s not to look for Lin Wei. I just wanted to see you. When I saw that you had a girl you like and you were so kind to her, I was so jealous that I nearly went mad.”

Yan Qiu looked at his beautiful side profile and could see his eyes turning red. 

Ji Xinglan was born a child blessed by the Gods. He could have whatever he wanted, and no one would dare to be negligent of him. Practically all the people of the opposite sex admired him, but he could not get the one thing he truly wanted.  

Yan Qiu felt choked up. He felt as if there was something stuck in his throat and heart, and it felt horrible. 

If Ji Xinglan had really liked him for such a long time, Yan Qiu did not dare imagine how Ji Xinglan reacted when he died. 

He placed his picture on the wall in his study and faced it every day. They were the only ones in the room, and he never let anyone into his study. 

Every day, he went to the garden to pluck fresh flowers with dew on them and placed them in front of his tombstone.  

He helped Yan Qiu with his funeral, and he also went to stare at a cold tombstone in the graveyard every week to let his mind wander. 

Xie Yu mentioned that someone had cried bitterly in the ward that day. Was it him?

 

“I’m sorry.” It was as if everything was hidden in Ji Xinglan’s profound eyes. “I just did not dare tell you the truth. But once I found out that you came back, only God knows just how happy I was. When I remember how you’re really lying in the room beside mine, I could not sleep for the entire night.”

Yan Qiu’s eyes flashed. He remembered how he was captured when he tried to “escape” at midnight. It was no wonder why he was discovered. Ji Xinglan was not sleeping at all and was paying attention to his movements.  

“I’ve finally gotten closer to you, and I was afraid that you’d leave again…” Ji Xinglan’s voice was hoarse. He might appear to be calm, but his eyelashes were fluttering. 

Yan Qiu’s heart ached badly for him. He did not know what to say, so he could only use his actions to replace his words. 

Without another word, he surged forward and wrapped his arms around Ji Xinglan’s neck before leaning in to kiss his lips. Yan Qiu’s movements showed inexperience, and he was only brushing his lips lightly against Ji Xinglan’s, but that was already enough. 

Truly, it was already enough.  

There was no need for him to even say anything else. Ji Xinglan could already sense his declaration of love. Sudden surprise and delight filled his chest, and his heart thumped against his chest so hard that he felt that it was about to jump out. 

Yan Qiu was kissing him. 

Right now, Yan Qiu did not know what he should say. He could only kiss his lips and say these words repeatedly.

“I love you too.” 

When he saw how overwhelmed Ji Xinglan was, Yan Qiu felt angry but amused as well. His heart ached as he hugged Ji Xinglan tightly and pressed his face against his burning neck. 

“I’m serious, I’ve definitely loved you earlier than you did to me.”

“If you say that, I’m going to start believing you.” Ji Xinglan raised his head and looked at him. Finally, he smiled a little, and he felt so happy that he was about to melt. 

“Just you try not believing in me.” Yan Qiu nibbled at his lip lightly.  

“At that time, I was young. I thought that I would never have the chance to say the words I didn’t manage to say.” The smile on Ji Xinglan’s face could be said to be innocent. He looked like a pure teenager who had fallen into the river of love. 

He reached out and gently caressed the side of Yan Qiu’s soft neck while he gently kissed the top of his head. His actions were filled with such care that he looked like he was treating some precious jewel in the world. 

Yan Qiu sat in his lap and stared deeply into his eyes. He smiled as well, and he kissed his neck. Then, he buried his head in the crook of his neck to vent his emotions by biting his collarbone. 

While he bit him, he said fiercely, “It’s your fault for being so cowardly. Why didn’t you confess to me earlier?!” 

Even though he was grumbling, Yan Qiu could understand why Ji Xinglan did not dare to confess to him recklessly. 

It was the same with Yan Qiu.

 

Yan Qiu liked him but did not dare say anything. He was worried that Ji Xinglan would get mad because he was not his fiance. Ji Xinglan liked him but did not dare say it, because he was worried that Yan Qiu would leave once he learned that Ji Xinglan had recognized him. 

But fortunately, after all the twists and turns, they did not end up missing each other.  

In tacit agreement, they thought that they hated each other, and they maintained this relationship while treading on thin ice. Unexpectedly, it was not thin ice under their feet, but instead an ice cap from the South Pole that would never be shattered.

Yan Qiu sat in his lap and tentatively kissed his lips. Then, Ji Xinglan pressed down on the back of his head and deepened the kiss. The temperature in the air seemed to be gradually increasing. 

When Yan Qiu noticed that the situation was becoming weird, he pushed Ji Xinglan away with a red face. He also grabbed a pillow and hit him while he pathetically sat back on the passenger seat to hide from him. “Enough. If there’s anything else, we can go back and talk about it when we get back home.

Ji Xinglan caressed his face and gave him a tight-lipped smile. 

During that instant, Yan Qiu felt as if he was looking at his teenage self. He had been in high spirits, just like this. 

Author: Congratulations, Lan Lan, you’re about to enjoy your days with a wife!

Mogumoguchan: Xie Yu! Best bro! Best friend! Best alpha! Best everything!

lolimelon: they finally confessed ･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ヽ( T ▽ T )ﾉ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ 

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