Chapter 81: 81

He hated her for not knowing anything, hated her for being able to accept everything without feeling entangled or affected.

He hated the entire family for being able to accept the separation so easily, and only he was stuck in the original place.

He recalled how Su Jingkun had patted him on the head that day with a forced smile, “You will live with Dad from now on.”

But he was unable to hide his relaxed and relieved tone of voice.

He remembered that time when Su Jingkun was supposed to attend the parent-teacher conference for the first time, he had outwardly told him that there was no need to go, but in reality, he had already reserved a spot for him in advance. He even secretly went to the school gate to wait for him.

He watched as other children walked in holding their parent’s hands. The flow of people passed him by, submerging him in desolation within the sea of people.

It was only later that he found out Su Jingkun had actually remembered his school incorrectly.

He showed the same apologetic yet alienated smile that he often gave to his clients, as he gifted him the latest electronic product, “Dad remembered wrong.”

Then he recalled how during the new year, he only received two cold and detached automated messages notifying him that money was transferred into his account.

**t/n: it’s customary in Chinese culture to give children/young adults money on Lunar New Year

Every family was celebrating together outside under the booming fireworks, yet he was alone as he watched the comedic skits of the CCTV New Year’s Gala. He wanted to laugh, but couldn’t. In the end, he smashed everything into pieces.

On such a desolate and lonely night, perhaps only by venting on the dance floor, or going racing in the mountains, or going partying with this group of scoundrels, will there be a false sense of excitement and liveliness.

No matter how bad his test results were, or even if he handed in a blank piece of paper, he would still be able to enroll in the best school. No matter how rebellious and defiant he was against the teachers, he still wouldn’t be kicked out of school. No matter how terrible the rumors that reached Su Jingkun’s ears were, he would still only laugh it off and then continue to be busy.

In these moments where the haziness and pain were woven together, a sunny and brilliant afternoon suddenly appeared before his eyes.

At that time, the little girl was even pulling his sleeve, but because she had trouble keeping up, she fell over. She cried as she said, “Big brother, don’t go.”

He admitted that he hated this family, and that he also hated the Su Qiuge who was seen as clever and obedient in Yang Xue’s eyes.

But……

Su Yuanzhou quietly leaned against the wall as he looked at his dark surroundings. His mind felt incredibly dizzy and the sense of self-loathing that appeared made him nauseous. He even covered his mouth and retched a few times.

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He suddenly felt that the loneliness was like a tide building over and was about to swallow him whole.

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Did she also spend countless nights like this?

Did she also stay alone in an empty and desolate house, feeling like she was about to suffocate?

Maybe she was also very scared, maybe she……

Maybe she was the same as him where, for so long, they only had themselves.

The way he treated her, how was it any different from Yang Xue or Su Jingkun?

In fact, he was even more vile, more hateful.

“Su Yuanzhou, you’re truly a f*cking b*st*rd.”

Yeah, he really was a bastard after all.

He clearly hated such a person, yet he became such a person.

How ironic.

Su Yuanzhou stared at his reddish knuckles as the smell of alcohol permeated from his body into the surrounding air. A WeChat notification sound came from his phone and a flash of brightness appeared in the darkness.

He sluggishly fumbled for his phone in the dark.

Then he slowly opened his eyes and saw that familiar pink icon.

Qiuqiu Wants to Get Rich Quick: I still have something to do, so I’ll leave first.

Su Yuanzhou blinked and stared at the indifferent words, then noticed the WeChat username that had been changed. An extremely uncomfortable emotion appeared in his heart.

At this moment, a hint of liquor courage appeared as he picked up the phone and pressed the voice recording button with great strength.

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