-san: A polite suffix, but not excessively formal.
-kun: A common suffix among friends and younger people.
-chan: A common suffix among people you’re close with, mostly used for feminine nicknames and girls, since it’s cutesy and childlike.
-senpai: A common suffix and noun used to address or refer to one’s older or more senior colleagues in a school, workplace, dojo, or sports club.
-sensei: A suffix and noun that literally means teacher.
“You’re bad, Tatsumi.”
At the dinner table, I told my sister what happened in the staff room. She promptly made fun of me.
Oh, and Hiiragi-sensei let me go after that, saying “Enough, I’m tired.” No, I was the one tired from that big sermon. I don’t even know why she was angry with me!
“Tatsumi, don’t do anything that’ll bother your teachers that much,” my mom interjected with a soft tone.
“I know, mom…”
Her hair was raven black, just like ours, and it extended a bit past her shoulders. She also had calm and kind eyes. Though I still couldn’t believe she had two high schoolers. She was as beautiful as my sister, even at her age.
“Tatsumi, congratulations on entering school today. I was so happy, I took a lot of pictures!”
“Please stop it. It’s not like the Shichigosan¹ shrine visit I did as a kid…”
“Mom, send me that pic later, please!” My sister leaned in. We’re eating, so you need to chill a bit more, y’know?
Ah, she spilled my juice…
Honestly, it’s been a long time since the three of us sat by the same table. Since my father ran away from home, we did so a few times a month, at least until I moved away. Now that I’m not here as often as I used to be, we seldom did this.
With her husband abandoning her, my mom had to work even harder to provide for both me and my sister. That’s why she never participated in school events or any sort of celebration, just like the one we were doing today.
Whenever a school event or even my birthday came up, she’d say “Mom has to go to work, sorry…” I have countless memories of her telling me that.
And the more someone uses the word “Sorry”, the more it loses its meaning. I’d given up after being told that several times, and soon my answer turned into a bitter whatever.
I knew she was working hard for us, but whenever I’d see the kids around me walking happily with their own parents, I felt a gaping hole in my heart.
One day, I couldn’t hold my thoughts in. Before she even said she was sorry, I turned my head to her, and these words just came out of my mouth. “That’s enough… You’re not coming this time either.”
I didn’t see her face back then… I couldn’t. When I looked up, she had already turned around and walked away. That’s why I couldn’t even see the look in her eyes.
“Ah, she abandoned me.” Though I don’t think like that now, I did when I was just a kid.
After that, she distanced herself from me even more, constantly going to work as if running away. That’s why it’s extremely unusual that she’s treating me like this now. To be honest, I’m surprised.
“Oh, and mom, that was quite bold of you to do.” My sister said that while wiping the spilled juice.
“Fufu, that’s right… But the time I spend with you guys is more important to me.”
“…?”
What are you talking about?
“I haven’t told Tatsumi yet. You see, your mom changed her job!”
Oh, that was certainly very bold… But why did she do it?
“I’m going to be paid a bit less, but I’ll have more time to spend with the two of you… Well, I’ve never done something motherly before.”
“… That’s why I want you to come back home properly, Tatsumi.”
“… I, see… I’ll be back from time to time.”
At my words, silence reigned over the dining table… This is awkward. I could almost touch the heavy atmosphere of the room. I knew it would come to this.
Mom went to such great lengths for me and my sister, so you should be a little bit happier, Tatsumi! —I told myself, and I agreed. But the distance that has been created over the past years couldn’t be shortened so easily.
“… C–C’mon, you two! We’re celebrating Tatsumi today, so let’s be more cheerful! Hey, do you like the food mom and I made? Is it good?” My sister broke that deafening silence.
“O–Oh, it’s good.”
“I’m glad.” She nabbed a bit of the roast beef with her fork, holding it up to me. “Tatsumi, I’ll feed it to you. Here, ahn~”
“It’s fine, I can feed myself.”
I snatched her fork and bit the meat myself. Handing the tableware back to her, she stared at its silver tip with her cheeks slightly flushed.
“… T–This is Tatsumi’s indirect ki—”
“… Big sis?”
“—?! N–Nothing! By the way, Tatsumi, you skipped out on the entrance exam, didn’t you?”
“Oh, really?” My mom said.
“… No, that’s not…”
“I knew it when you weren’t at the top! With your grades, it should be easy enough to nab first place, right?”
“… How do you even know my grades?”
“I know everything about you.”
She doesn’t mean anything weird by that… She doesn’t, right?
We then continued such a normal family conversation, and soon the clock hit 8 PM.
… Should I go back soon?
I’m sorry for them, but I’m gonna have to leave my seat empty today.
“… Sorry you two, but I’m going out for a bit.”
“So… You’re coming back home today, right?” Mom asked me, concerned.
“Yeah. I’ll just report that I’ve been admitted to school. I’ll probably be back right by the end of the day.”
“… It’s Ryuzaki-san, isn’t it? They’ve been a great help.”
“Well, I’m not sure if I’m being taken care of or not.”
Well, by being just one day away from that place, the house would become a mess… Ugh, that sloth.
My head hurts just by thinking of that person’s life skills, along with the abysmal state of that house. To be honest, I wonder which one of us is really taking care of the other…
“… Take care.”
“I’ll be fine… Well, I’m off.”
“Have a safe trip.” With my mom’s last words fading behind me, I went out to the city while the moon was up in the sky.
1 — Shichigosan is a shrine visit done by children aged 7, 5, and 3. Hence the name, Shi-chi (7), Go (5), and San (3).