Aizawa-kun Can't Love

Chapter 29: Volume 1 - CH 28


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Translated and Edited by: ynlucca.

Common Honorifics:

-san: A polite suffix, but not excessively formal.

-kun: A common suffix among friends and younger people.

-chan: A common suffix among people you’re close with, mostly used for feminine nicknames and girls, since it’s cutesy and childlike.

-senpai: A common suffix and noun used to address or refer to one’s older or more senior colleagues in a school, workplace, dojo, or sports club.

-sensei: A suffix and noun that literally means teacher.

On the night of the slap, I lay in my bed reminiscing the things that transpired.

A lot happened today…

Sakurai and I had our first conversation in years and I was able to take a good look at myself again. Meanwhile, Aoi-san was, well… she’s a nice girl, though weird, so that encounter was probably good.

I’m not sure about Katsuragi though. I’m not really sure about it, but that snarky grin made me quite angry… That shorty, ugh.

And… My sister and Sakurai. I don’t know why Shuri hates her so much. They used to have fights, sure, but they were rather close to each other. I just can’t see why she was so angry this night.

What created this chasm between them?

“Well… It doesn’t matter what I think.”

This is a problem that the two have to deal with themselves. It would just be tactless of me to get involved, though, just as I was thinking that, I heard a knock on the door.

“Hm…? At this hour?”

The only people in this house were my mom and my sister, so it couldn’t be anyone else.

“Tatsumi, it’s me… May I come in?” My sister’s voice was slightly reserved, a bit hesitant even.

“Sis? Sure, come in,” I invited her in.

Come to think of it… I haven’t seen her walk into my room ever since that fateful day. Even though we live in the same house, we seldom went into each other’s rooms, so I wonder if this is another proof our relationship is gradually improving?

After hearing my reply, she slowly opened the door and walked in. The expression on her face was a bit taciturn.

“E–Excuse me…”

“… Why are you being so reserved?”

“I–It’s just been a long time since I’ve been here…”

“We’re family, don’t mind it.”

Family… This word spontaneously came out of my mouth, and the fact it did meant there was some kind of change in my feelings, even if small.

“… Tatsumi?”

She looked at my pondering face, and after a second or so I answer. “No, it’s nothing… More importantly, what do you need at this hour of the night?”

“Um, I–I was just wondering… Why did you defend Haru today?” She asked about Sakurai.

“Oh, that’s what this is about…”

I haven’t heard you call her that in years…

“I wasn’t defending her… Also, what you did was excessive. I’d never hit someone just because we don’t get along.”

“B–But, she betrayed and hurt you… And then, outta nowhere she tries to talk to you like that…”

“…”

Ah, now I see…

“Is that the same reason you slapped her in front of our house?”

“Y–Yeah…”

I finally figured out the reason their relationship went sour… It was me. In this case, this isn’t just a problem between them anymore.

“Hey, sis, I—”

Thinking so I try to reason with her, but she cut me off.

“I–It’s because she’s always been by your side, Tatsumi! It’s because she’s always loved you, and yet she stabbed you on the back and hurt you! I–I knew she was there to apologize, but if she felt bad in the first place she shouldn’t have done that! When I realized that, I just couldn’t help but hate her! Why is a girl like that trying to stand by your side, huh?! I would’ve never done what she did because I lo—”

“Stop it, it’s enough.”

I couldn’t help but stop her as she let out tear-ridden words through her crying.

“You came here to apologize, didn’t you?”

“—?!”

“It’s fine. It’s water under the bridge now.”

“U–Um…”

Her expression changed to one of self-punishment and sadness, then she continued.

“I–I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scream…”

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“Well, it must’ve been hard for you to come up to me. I’ve hardly been back home, after all.”

“…”

She didn’t deny my words, my guess was proven correct and she really was feeling that way. After that, I continued with what I wanted to say.

“Y’know sis, I don’t want Sakurai to apologize to me…”

“… Huh?”

“That’s not because I don’t care or something like that… I just don’t resent or hate her.”

“W–Why?”

“What happened on that day was my fault… I should’ve done something about it, anything before the problem grew to the size it was. If I’d done something and hadn’t refrained, Sakurai wouldn’t get involved… Besides…”

“Besides?”

“… My benefactor told me so.”

“Benefactor… Do you mean Ryuzaki?”

“Yes. Right after that incident happened, I constantly asked myself ‘why did she do that?’… I even resented her and loathed her very being.”

Yeah… After she betrayed me, I was in a pretty rough spot. That’s when Ryuzaki gave me a place to stay, even if it was a small one.

“So… Why do you not hate her now?”

“When I was sulking, Ryuzaki told me, ‘Life is a combination of the good and the bad, isn’t it? Will you live your life pretending all the good times you’ve ever had never existed just because you’re going through the bad? Living like that is just too sad… And so is constantly living with hatred. I just don’t want you to live a sad life.’”

“That’s… But that’s not how—”

“I know it’s a beautiful, idealistic dream. But even so, I believed Ryuzaki’s words, and I will continue to do so.”

“… What is your benefactor to you, Tatsumi?”

“…”

I wonder… I’ve never thought about it before, after all. After a brief moment of thinking, I think I found what fit them best.

“Ryuzaki is half of me… We fight sometimes, but I need them and they need me.”

Well, they’re gonna die in a field somewhere without me, after all.

What I said was a bit superfluous, but it’s the way it is. It’s not like we’re one or something, but rather it’s that we trust each other deeply.

“… Then, what do you wanna do with Haru, Tatsumi?”

“I don’t really wanna do anything, and it’s not like I wanna go back to how we were in the past. Well, if she comes to apologize, I’ll lend an ear at least.”

“… What will you do if she really does?”

“… I don’t know, and I won’t until the time comes.”

Perhaps leaving myself open like this will lead to me being betrayed again, or maybe she wants to go back in time. No matter the outcome, I won’t know until it happens.

Well, that time will never come… It’s useless to keep thinking about it.

“Well, that’s how I feel about it, sis… Please don’t hate her that much, okay? I don’t want you to live a sad life.”

“Tatsumi…”

I really don’t think this will improve the relationship between the two, but it’s something at least.

As I was about to end this conversation, she continued with a frail, almost waning voice.

“Then… What about me?”

“… Huh?”

“Do you hold a grudge against me now?” I could see her tremble with anxiety.

I cock my head curiously when I hear it. Do I resent her? My own sister? No, that’s wrong because—

“I don’t resent you… I mean, I’m not the one here who resents the other.”

Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I should’ve said so, but Shuri stepped forward and faced me properly. That’s why I have to do the same and take a step forward.

After hearing my words, she was silent for a brief moment.

“… I don’t.”

“Hm?”

“I don’t hate you.”

Her voice was small, still frail from our heart-to-hearts, but it was still clear nonetheless.

“… Good night.”

As soon as she finished uttering those words, she left the room as if running away from me. I couldn’t say anything as she left my room.

“You don’t hate me…?”

My words came out as a whisper, not meant for any soul to hear, and that’s how the day ended… Some knots were untied, and a lot happened today.

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