Am I Lewd Enough?

Chapter 56: Chapter LV: The Finality (2)


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Previously

“Then, how will we proceed for your ascension? Your revenge?”

I slowly bounced towards Ivanka, holding the sleeves of her outfit. “Just, please give me some time to figure this out. A couple of days, at least.” 

Her expression returned to it’s normal, stoic self. She only gave out a sigh. “Fine. It’s your life and fate. Not mine. Do what you must but do it quick.”

“The door to the outside world opens in two weeks,” Ivanka said. 

“I understand,” I replied. She gave out a grunt before palming my back, energy coursing through her body as the world buzzed out of view. 


 

Ivanka’s POV

Ever since the day that Willow wanted to keep his cancerous ability, things had gotten stale and quiet between the two. Make no mistake, Ivanka made sure that he didn’t miss his warmups or morning training lest his already meager muscle mass fall out but even during then, the usually chipper, mischievous boy stayed quiet like a mouse. 

She knew the reason as to his constant interest in the sky when she taught him how to counter and redirect an opponent’s force against them, at his expense of course. Usually, he’d be able to foresee the little tricks she snuck in her strikes but over the week, he’s been nothing but susceptible and out of it. 

She didn’t think she was wrong for telling him to get rid of his Anger. If he continued to depend on it, she knew that he’d regret it. How many times had she seen good, fortuitous brethren face their demise simply because they overdosed on chaotic, godly power. There was a reason only gods could manipulate authorities—laws that were equivalent to an evolution of the myriad energies. So many kingdoms had fallen, so many sisters killed all because they thought they were chosen, that the godly power hidden in them was given to them because they were chosen.

Why was she thinking about this during her afternoon training session anyway? 

Ivanka threw one of her chalikar at the giant seven headed-dragon, beheading half of them at once before they simply regrew their heads, becoming seven-headed again. The large dragon snarled at her, each of the seven heads charging up their own elemental breath, a size that was constantly growing until large enough to even block their own serpentine faces.

[Poison]” Ivanka intoned and caught the chalikar she had thrown. Turning her back, she sat down on the cool training grounds as she heard the little lizard behind her gurgle and expand before popping loudly like a pimple, bursting with poisonous air instead of it’s blood. 

Was she actually wrong about what she’d done to Willow? No, he was nothing more than a little boy who hadn’t even lived half her life, nor did he even know about his past, his truth. He was but a little kit who sometimes got on her nerves—even if she’d never admit it–and honestly, if he wanted to act like a spoiled child when she was trying to help him, good for him.

She bit her lips before sighing, gazing into the barrier covering what should have been the sky. When had she gotten so attached to the boy? When she had been told to look after him by the Demon God, she thought little to nothing about him. She didn’t hold any expectations for him, didn’t really care whether he died or lived–no, all she cared was that he didn’t disturb her training or rest. She did care a little about the fact that he was the incarnation of the Maiden, but even that didn’t live very wrong. 

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So, why was it that she was so troubled she couldn’t hear his annoying, little quips or jokes anymore? Why was it that she felt her heart tighten when his eyes creased in sadness instead of curving in joy? Why was it so?

She never understood feelings or emotions, well after she had her heart literally carved out as a sacrifice, it was no wonder she couldn’t feel. Of course, she killed the god it had been sacrificed to sooner or later but even then, after the curse and split of her mind/body, hosting two souls in one body, it only got worse since she wasn’t even able to show her emotions vividly on her face. She’d like to think it was beneficial since her enemies wouldn’t be able to read her but it was times like these, when her heart felt muddy and she couldn’t understand why, that it felt more disadvantageous than advantageous. 

And just like all the other times, she didn’t understand what she was feeling now but she did know her recent slump was because of Willow. She didn’t want to admit it but even after hours worth of mental temperament under the waterfall, she knew that she wanted to see Willow, her. . .disciple smile again, to hear his awful quips and jokes.

The months that they’d spent together must have really grown on her which was surprising since she wasn’t one to get attached. She lived in her own personal domain for example. It must be the Maiden inside him.

Regardless of which, she needed to have a talk with him. Perhaps then, the pain clouding her mind and heart would be alleviated.  It was nearly the week he had promised anyway. Perhaps she could use it as an excuse to go and talk to him–not to say she wouldn’t talk to him regardless. That would be blasphemous. She had faced against all of heaven’s wrath, climbed and conquered all the highest peaks so why on earth would she fear a mere talk with her disciple?  

****

Ivanka stopped in front of her disciple’s room, unable to bring herself to knock on the door despite it technically being her room first. This wasn’t supposed to happen. She had killed dragons, slain giants, killed gods and she couldn’t even bring herself to knock on a door? 

At least, this meant that the cause of her recent slump in productivity was definitely because of Willow, and therefore, their little argument back in the forest. 

Was she actually in the wrong? No, that couldn’t be. No matter how one looked at it, she was the one in the right, the one who was genuinely trying to help her disciple and he’d acted like she had killed his parents in front of him. Yeah, she was absolutely sure she wasn’t in the wrong but maybe by thinking that, she was in the wrong?

Ivanka had lived life long enough that she knew it wasn’t always about winning or being the one in the right but still. Ivanka stopped pondering when she realized she was just standing in front of Willow’s door like a creep. 

She scratched her head and let out a silent groan before giving a defeated sigh. This wasn’t like her. She needed to get a hold of herself. Their little argument has gone for long enough. 

She looked outside the window. It was evening, approaching dusk quickly. If she wanted to cure the stone in her heart, she needed to finish this quickly, before she took over.With that, her hands reached for the doorknob but to her surprise, the person on the other side was the one who opened the door first and the fresh smell of maple wafted into her nose.

 An adorable, little head poked out before his beautiful, starry blue eyes looked up to her silvery ones. “Ivanka?”


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