Chapter 26: Sachi Yuki’s penitence, part 1.

Yuki’s POV.

Coward. Disingenuous. Dishonest… It’s as if those words were invented for me. I am weak, yet I still put myself on the shelf and project these vulnerabilities on others.

When I was in elementary school, I belonged to the biggest, “strongest” group in school. In other words, I was part of the top caste. I’ve always dressed myself up and changed according to what others thought of me.

One day, however, the leading girl at that group confessed her feelings to a boy she liked. She was rejected by the guy saying, “Sorry, I can’t go out with you, I like Aoi. Oh, please don’t tell anyone about that!” Incidentally, that same boy was part of our group.

Her face post-rejection was that of a Noh mask: stiff and imposing. She didn’t have to fume for one to see she was angry as it gets. However, where did her animosity go? If it had been a boy in her place, things might’ve been different. But reality is often inconsistent.

It is often said that a woman’s enemy is another woman, and I agree.

The leader might’ve figured maybe there was a chance that she could get with the guy she liked. So, from that day onward, Aoi was ignored by our whole group even though she did no wrong. She was in pain, but I didn’t talk to her.

It would’ve been better if it was only that, but things quickly escalated. They talked smack behind her back, and her things often disappeared.

It was clear as day it developed into bullying. However, instead of separating the group, it only served to unite us more.

“Don’t betray us. You’re all guilty.”

A few days later, Aoi was called by the group to the empty gymnasium, where she was beaten.

“Don’t make that face, they’ll know.”

One of the members was confused at first, and he fearfully kicked her after giving in to peer pressure. He should’ve kicked her sparingly, but as he did, his strength only increased. Then, that scared member was almost possessed by power and joined in the “fun.”

I can’t take this anymore!

I fled the scene, frightened by the malice sprouting before me.

Not once did I speak up when they started ignoring her, or when she was being bullied. Instead, I pretended not to see it. I was afraid that if I spoke up, I would be the next on the chopping block.

Even though I never touched her directly, I felt just as guilty as any of them. However, such a realization came too late. Aoi was already transferring schools, as the teacher told us one day in homeroom. He also knew there was bullying coming from our group, and pursued the incident for days on end, but no one wanted to admit it, and the case was eventually dropped.

“You know, Sachi was the only one who didn’t kick Aoi, right?”

Then I heard those words.

It was a strange thing to realize she actually enjoyed the bullying, but that girl didn’t reflect on it. All she looked for was her next target. They didn’t have a reason anymore, they just did it for the sake of it. That’s how I felt at the time.

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And the process started all over again, the same way it happened to Aoi. They began ignoring me, then talking behind my back, then hiding things. As soon as things escalated to that point, I feared they would gang up and beat me, but they had learned from Aoi. If they did that, it would mean marks on my body, which in turn would mean their “toy” would break too quickly.

“Sachi, we want to buy something. Bring us some money.”

“But I don’t have any…” I pleaded.

“Then why don’t you get it from your daddy and mommy?”

They laughed as they suggested I steal from my own parents. I couldn’t trouble them, and if they found out everything that’s happened, they might even abandon me. I didn’t do it. I couldn’t.

I would then refuse each time they asked me if I brought the money. Every time I did, I was either slapped or punched in the gut. After a few days of this, the bullying changed in various ways, from “light” violence, to water being poured on me out of the blue. They started with that as soon as they realized I wouldn’t be their piggy bank.

This was my punishment for not helping Aoi. Those were my thoughts as I endured all of the bullying. Still, I was getting exhausted day by day.

“Mom, I don’t want to go to school,” I confided to my mother when I couldn’t take it anymore.

“What are you talking about? I don’t want to work either, you know? I also have hard things to do. Don’t be selfish.”

“No, mom. I’m being bullied.”

I felt bad and embarrassed for telling my parents what I was going through, but I had made up my mind.

“Then make a proper effort. Bullying is a sign you’re not trying hard enough. If you run away from it, you’ll continue running for the rest of your life.”

What should I have done then? Should I have joined in with them and kicked Aoi?

This is bad. Mom won’t listen to me, so maybe my father will.

“Hey dad, I—”

“I have a busy morning tomorrow, and I still have to finish my work. You should just go to your room and study,” he gave me a few excuses and wouldn’t listen.

My parents, whom I had trusted all my life, brushed me off. Meanwhile, the bullying continued. Thinking back, my heart was already broken by then.

Ironically, it was their violence that saved me.

Previously, the group had suppressed their bullying to the point no marks were left on me, but things ended up escalating. It was only after bruises started appearing on my body that my parents realized the seriousness of the situation and prepared to change my school.

And thus, I transferred away.

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