Chapter 27: Chapter 27

19850405--06 diary

0405

During the evening self-study, Liang Shuli destroyed several cards. Because he was so hurt, he played cards in all his spare time. I used to do the same. Later, I resolutely changed it, but they didn't change it. It's a big attraction! After a while, Mr. Ji asked me to go to his dormitory to talk with me about the situation in the class. He asked me and answered. I said that the study atmosphere was not strong and my thoughts were complex, but he asked me to talk about discipline. I was not interested in it and didn't talk much about it. But after a long time, he went back to class and talked to someone else. He said that I had good grades and learned well. He also said that I had a good foundation on my report card last semester. I still remember my feelings. Someone told him that I was reading novels. He said that I was about to do this, but now I have to study hard in mathematics, English and history.

Today is Tomb Sweeping Day. I should have gone to Zhaowen mountain to visit the tomb, but it rained, so I just went to Gaoyi. After class, many people went to the toilet. I chanted: "it rains in succession during the Qingming Festival, and passers-by on the road want to break their souls. I would like to ask where the restaurant is. The shepherd boy pointed to the apricot blossom village from afar." And pointed to the toilet, Wang Ling also with, ridiculous.

0406

At noon, Li Erqiao spoke in front of the railing. Biqingyuan, fengqingrong, Hua tinggan and Tang Pingping listened. Of course, there was me. He said Xu Qun said, "this guy is the ugliest." It used to mean me. I became dumb when my heart got angry. He also said that Xu said Bi Qingyuan was the most vicious, but what about me? Somehow, it seemed that I had suffered a great grievance, but it also seemed that it was true. Later, I read a book and slept with my hands on my back. I thought that I might have stayed for a while, but I couldn't figure it out. But have you been cheated? After physics class in the afternoon, I reluctantly told Bi that I was angry. He said vicious words that hurt people. A pretty young man was said to be the ugliest. I hope so. However, I don't think why he said this. Does everyone think he is beautiful (me too), or "people's hearts are in danger?" This year, the epidemic of brain disease is very popular. We won't go on a spring outing. Just as it happens, I don't want to. People's minds are in danger. After dinner, I wash my hair and comb my hair alone in the dormitory. I have to dress up. But the heart is very sad, "bad words have been cold for ten years."

19850407 diary

I feel dizzy. Now I want to come. It's like a dream.

I got up very late in the morning. I couldn't eat breakfast as usual. After washing, I was at a loss. I had to comb my hair in the mirror. What kind of hair might I comb? I don't know. After washing my clothes, I was at a loss for what to do this morning. Is it all for Xu Qun?

After lunch, he went shopping with Da Hongwei. After that, he went to the Xinhua Bookstore to read a book. He didn't buy a vocabulary for his brother. He was very sad and pitiful. When I returned to my dormitory, I went to bed. I thought of everything at home in the past. It's not sad. Everything can make me cry and make me sad.

Alas! Can't I cheer up? My career matters. Am I really ugly? My mother said that when I was a child, Ragon said that I was better than my brother. My neighbor, Huang Ming's mother, said that a man is better than me, just like me. Zhengfang said to my mother, "your second son is like a city man." People are willing to make friends with me. Isn't that true? If you can believe it, people's hearts are in danger.

Of course, learning matters. I don't often say, "is going to college better than anything?" If not, who am I worthy of? Father, mother, uncle, aunt, uncle, aunt, grandmother, mother-in-law, brothers, cousins, villagers, teachers and classmates. Oh, really.

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In the evening self-study class, he talked with mawenxiang about it. He thought it was not the case. He said I could. Xu Wei was jealous (I wore a suit). He says he can't do as well as I can. He said it was true, I think so. He said I looked like a little guy in garrison expendables. I think it's true. I'm not bad. Alas! I've really been cheated. Let's stop talking.

19850408--10 diary

0408

I don't know if I'm pessimistic today. I can't help it. In the afternoon, there will be a class cadre meeting (I am a study committee member) to discuss discipline issues, focusing on "management". They were very warm, and I said nothing but felt uneasy. Ability? No? But I deny that I am no longer interested in "management". Everyone wants to take the college entrance examination. Otherwise, how can I be worthy of my parents? I will manage myself well.

0409

In the afternoon, I took the history exam, but I didn't review it. I was so afraid. I really hope I can take the exam later. I didn't think it was difficult after the exam, especially after three questions and answers and a few questions and answers in a row, it was very easy after the exam. Fortunately, I took the exam, otherwise I would be reimbursed for one night's self-study.

I got 99 points in the math test. I'm optimistic about it. I'm not worse than others.

0410

The cultural and entertainment committee member brought a tape recorder in the afternoon and played Zhou Feng's song in the afternoon. It was very pleasant to hear. Before the evening self-study, I bought many flavored melon seeds according to my promise. I bet with Bi Qingwu that Mr. Ji wanted to talk to him, but he didn't talk. But my promise was fulfilled. I understand.

Talking about life with biqingyuan and Li Erqiao, I said that if I wanted to open up, it would be boring. If one day is boring, life is just eating and dressing, and one has to die, it is inevitable. This is called disillusionment with the world of mortals, but I am a higher class. If I know that I want to open up, I don't want to open up!

When talking about songs, I said that the epidemic was good, but Bi might be, for example, the flu. I still said that it was good for the cold. Don't think about people. He was still strong. I said that this disease is better than other diseases, just because it can be popular and known. Li Erqiao acquiesced, saying that the world is like this. There are no bad things. I think there are no bad things. Everything is for survival. People only divide the good and the bad according to their own wishes, like bees and spiders. In fact, my view is very reasonable.

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