Before we parted for the day, we watched the orange in the sky being swallowed by the purple of the dusk. We were wrapping up the conversation about mind-reading power.
“Is it wrong if you don’t use it?”
We were talking about how we would use it until now. But what I had wanted to ask was this.
“You mean the power?”
“Yeah”
Because I have the power for real. Because I don’t know how to use it. It was a question with no answer in sight.
“Why not?” She looked at me earnestly.
I had expected her to tease, but she looked serious. And thanks to that, I had the courage to speak further.
“I can’t see how using it could make you happy. You might know something you shouldn’t and end up feeling bad.”
Like I did
The words died on my lips though.
But if I don’t use it, then it is just as good as not having one. And I’d be just another ordinary person.
“Hmm, that’s true. You have a point.” she pondered, “But still, that’s depending on how you use it, no? It’s all up to skill.”
“Haha…You might manage that.”
“Hmm? I’m not so sure.”
“Well, if it’s like that, then having the power might not be as good. God must have flunked so badly at the lottery if we happen to get any power.”
And a terrible coincidence at that.
Or perhaps God just couldn’t imagine I would screw up this hard when he gave me this power.
“But, good or bad, it’s up to you, right?”
“Hm?”
She didn’t look this way. I, too, didn’t look her way. And so, I could never know what kind of expression she had. She, too, couldn’t see my expression.
“I mean, the topic just happened to be about supernatural powers, so it might look dramatic. Actually, wouldn’t it be the same for other things too? Like how tall you are, how big your chest can grow. Even your gender when you were born. Everyone is born different.” She spread her arms. “And that’s what makes us us. How would we perceive ourselves, how would we act. That’s all according to us. No, others can decide for us, but I’d hate it if someone did that to me.”
“Yeah.”
“That’s why I just want to like myself no matter what I am. I want to be someone who can like myself. Everyday’s more fun to me this way.”
“Yeah, you might be right.” Somehow, when she said that, it sounded convincing.
“Or I might be wrong~”
“Hey, can’t you be sure to the end.” I said despite knowing that it was just how she was.
“I mean, I don’t know the right answer. Maybe I’d die without knowing it, the right way of living, I mean.”
“I’d like to know it before I die though.”
“Agreed”
Silence.
“Anyway, if you happen to find it one day, make sure you tell me, ‘kay?”