ANIMA ADRIFT: An Old Soul, a New Journey

Chapter 13: 12-A Manichean Conflict (II)


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Man, that’s gotta hurt!

As soon as I opened my eyes, I realized my inner optimist had been right. Not being able to feel pain below my neck was most definitely a plus. My body was a mess, to put it mildly. Aside from my one missing leg, the other one was bent the wrong way around. Additionally, at least one of my shoulders had popped out of its socket -I couldn’t quite turn my head around to check the other-, and... was that bloodied bit a rib sticking out of my chest?

Hell, no matter the case, seeing that kind of wounds let me know my body should have long since perished. At the very least, I ought to be in shock, and on the verge. Only, that clearly wasn’t the case. Sure, I couldn’t move, but my mind was somehow still fully functional. Well, about as functional as it ever gets, anyway.

 

Congratulations! By defeating a foe Aligned with a Principle anathema to #$%$#, you have significantly improved your own standing.

Congratulations! By single-handedly defeating a foe belonging to a League higher than yours, you have significantly improved your own standing.

Congratulations! By plundering the Essence of your fallen foes, you have improved your own standing.

 

Incidentally, when describing my wounds, I seem to have forgotten to mention that there was also an antlered rabbit nailed to my arms and torso. That is, nailed both via its antlers, which were probably responsible for the most grievous of my wounds, and the dagger that Grisella had gifted me. The latter’s handle was biting into my palm, while its business end was responsible for the, presumably, immediately fatal wound on the rabbit’s head. Apparently, I had still been holding onto the blade when the monster charged at me, and my limbs had moved out of instinct. As for exactly why I was still alive and fully lucid, well, there was -surprisingly- no need to make much of a logical jump to find out.

 

Calculating...

 

Congratulations! After accumulating sufficient Essence, you have reached a Major Threshold.

Warning! Upon reaching their first Major Threshold, previously unregistered users are required to espouse* an Allegiance and Alignment.
*Note: After initial Ratification, Allegiance and Alignment are permanent.

Warning! User’s physical form will temporarily be placed under Complete Stasis* until both Allegiance and Alignment undergo Ratification.

*Note: Objects in Complete Stasis cannot be modified and are temporally and dimensionally Interdicted.

 

Would you like to proceed to the selection of Allegiance and Alignment? Yes/Aye!

 

Never thought I’d be saying this again, not after people came up with the brilliant idea of depriving everything of any meaning, but the world’s starting to make less and less sense as life goes on...

For a few seconds, I tried to focus on choosing one of the rather forced ‘options’ the local overlord was apparently gracing me with. No matter how I tried to flex my metaphorical muscles, though, nothing seemed to work.

And it’s not like I can speak out loud, either...

‘Aye!’, I guess?

 

Thank you for cooperating!

 

Calculating...

 

Please, decide your Allegiance.

 

No sooner had the words left my mental lips, the world itself seemed to vanish.

Suddenly, all my eyes could see was a dark empty void and the glowing, red runes. Despite my previous immobility, I could feel myself floating. Then, the runes disappeared too, and I started falling.

And falling.

And still falling some more.

At some point during the fall, I began hearing some sort of distant, low reverberations. They vaguely reminded me of the lowest key of an organ, or perhaps the horn of a big ship. Then, as I somehow grew closer to its source, the original voice was gradually joined by other, slightly higher tones. Eventually, it felt like I was falling down towards an entire choir of oktavists that were holding some particularly ominous notes.

Usually, that kind of scenario, at least the part where I was precipitating down into the unknown, probably would have qualified for the stuff of nightmares. Strangely enough, though, there was no part of me that felt any sort of discomfort. Instead, I felt welcome, of all things, almost as if I was just paying a visit to an old friend of mine.

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Eventually, after an undetermined amount of time, the fall came to an abrupt stop. And the world transformed once again. The void gave place to a white wall. It was a building I was pretty familiar with; The Corridor.

Only, as a somewhat disbelieving look revealed, it wasn’t quite The Corridor I knew. For one, my form wasn’t that of my most recent life. Instead of a small boy, my body was that of a wiry old man, covered by some sort of large, flowing, red tunic that veritably swirled around me with every step I took.

For another, instead of the usual white, infinite hallway, I was standing in a small room of sorts. It was perhaps ten steps or so across, with impeccably white walls, and flooded by a dense, dark fluid that reminded me of ink. The still pool reached up to a bit above my ankles, and felt strangely warm on my skin. I didn’t pay it much attention, though, because there was something way more eye-catching in front of me.

On one end of the room, there was a wall of inscrutable darkness, the same kind of darkness that was my eternal companion in the usual Corridor. On the other end of the room, though, there was an open door. That door lead to yet another room, not unlike the one I was standing in -except for the dark wall-, including its own open door and subsequent, identical room. And so on, and so forth.

I quickly turned around, facing away from the entire thing. Honestly looking at the door, and the seeming infinitude of mirrored rooms behind it, was fundamentally unsettling, as if I had accidentally been allowed to lay my eyes on something I wasn’t supposed to see. Or, maybe, as if reality itself had glitched...

As I stood in silence, wondering exactly what the fuck was going on, the water by my feet started flowing. It was barely noticeable at first, so much so that the only reason I did notice was likely because of how still everything else was. The flow gradually grew faster and faster, though, as evidenced by the eddies and swirls that started forming around my ankles.

Soon, the current got to the point that I was forced to crouch down and lay against the wall for stability, just to avoid having my feet swept from under me, fearing what would happen I if got dragged along by the low, but surprisingly ferocious waters.

Then, suddenly, just as I was about to lose the fight against my aqueous enemy, there was a flash of white light, and the room got filled with radiant warmth. As the light slowly took on a bluish tint, it felt like the currents gradually subsided-

No, rather than subside, the currents were still raging, ever stronger. I was only vaguely aware of them, though, the Light was a bulwark, keeping me steady despite everything. No. Even more than that. The Light was the embrace of a loving parent, protective, comforting, all-forgiving. My eyes piously drank it in, tearing up as they did, all notions of struggle forgotten in the face of what felt like a promise of safety stemming from Creation itself.

I could tell, on an instinctual level, that I would never again want for anything if I followed the Light, if only I let myself go. I just had to give up on my ego. To stop worrying about me and start thinking about us, as in everyone under the Light. Yes, even the few lost sheep that couldn’t feel its Call.

Oh, how tempting of an offer it was! Never again would I be alone, nor would I know pain, and fear would just become a distant memory...

Right as I was about to completely surrender myself to it, however, something within me rebelled.

Complete and utter bullshit!

Right. Fear, pain. Those were emotions I was intimately familiar, true, sadly enough. But, while I’ve never been a masochist, the way I’ve always dealt with them is by facing them head-on! Not running away to hide behind someone else’s back, much less some suspicious would-be benefactor!

Since when had I started hoping that some benevolent tyrant would magic away my problems for me!?

I’ve always fought! Literally, tooth and nail when need be, and not because my hope or fate in myself or some external factor was unshakable! Quite the opposite, in fact, I’ve faltered so many times I would be hard-pressed to count them!

The fight always came back to me, though, and not because I’m special. As long as I was still alive, no matter what depths of despair I had reached, if I paid enough attention, there were always some embers of my will to be found, somewhere within me. Rekindling them was, more often than not, a fastidious task, true, sometimes even seemingly an impossible one!

Life never gave me the option of calling quits, though, for even death wouldn’t free me from my own company, and true death was withheld from me, so I could only abide. And, with enough patience, I always found a way to bring back the flame.

Surrendering that will, that freedom, to something else, just for a vague promise of safety and comfort? Not even in a million years!

As I struggled against the Light’s influence, I suddenly felt a tide of rage exploding deep within me. So strong was it that I physically shook, almost stumbling into the waters. My rage kept me upright, though, as if it wasn’t willing to suffer the presence of any ignominy. Then, its fist of righteous indignation rose against the veiled tyranny that was the Light, forcibly silencing its sweet whisper, and giving my mind some much-needed breathing room.

Somewhere down the line, the tides had almost completely stopped, so I pulled away from the wall that I had been using for support. A part of me, I found out, almost felt disgusted by that display of weakness. More importantly, somehow, my rage seemed to growl in approval at the gesture. It was somewhat cathartic, but bizarre nonetheless.

At that moment, I opened my eyes, which I had unconsciously closed during my mental wrestling, only to find out that the all-encompassing, blueish light around me was slowly but inexorably waning. Multiple dark tendrils had sprung from the wall of darkness that stood behind me, edging their way into the space formerly only occupied by the Light, forcibly pushing it back. Along with its invasion, the inky tides at my feet reversed. Slowly, at first, but with increasing intensity as the Darkness claimed control of the room, the waters flowed backward.

Even as I realized that the rage I had been experiencing hadn’t been mine, not entirely anyways, a part of me couldn’t help marveling at the might that was being displayed by the Darkness. The Light, I somehow knew, wasn’t quite all-powerful, but it wasn’t all that far from it. Yet, its enemy was still able to push it back.

Not to say I was rooting for the newcomer, though. The Darkness had tried to come across as stern, but fair, perhaps, in its own way, and now I could see in its depths a promise that was easy enough to understand. Power. Enough that, no matter who I faced, I’d never be found wanting. Maybe even more, if I was willing to hustle enough, or amenable to make a few concessions.

It could have been seducing, had I not swiftly concluded that it was all a load of bullshit too.

How could I, of my own free will and choice, come to depend on any power that didn’t stem from myself? Wouldn’t that be the same as me desiring a fashionable slave collar? One made of gold, perhaps, shiny enough to catch the eye, but all the more insidious for it!

How about, no? Fuck you, fuck the other asshole, or assholes, and fuck this entire fiasco... Also, fuck this building, and the damned water too, just to make fucking sure!

Honestly, it seemed like I had somehow gotten caught in a cosmic-scale tug of war and, as far as I was concerned, I wanted to take no part in it!

Despite all of the power that I could intuit hid behind the beings, laws, or whatever the Light and Darkness were -about just enough to beggar comprehension-, what was the worst they could do?

Kill me, somehow deader than yet another trip to the Corridor? They’d almost be doing me a service! Force me into a life of hardship and vicissitude? I’d already gone through enough of those that it would almost make me feel nostalgic! Eternal torment, perhaps?

...Well, that one would actually suck, granted, but I could probably manage anyway. Plus, my gut kept telling me that none of it was really on the menu.

That instinct wasn’t even all that baseless, really. After all, hadn’t both of them, in their own manners, just tried to trick me into agreeing to comply? That had to mean something... Likely, there was some manner of law or limits binding what both Light and Darkness could get away with. Otherwise, why wouldn’t they just take, instead of bothering with persuasion?

Incidentally, if it turned out that reality -or whoever ruled over it- had truly dictated that even a puny bastard like me had some manner of rights, I intended to wield them against that couple of shitheads. With extreme prejudice.

Funnily enough, as soon as that last thought came to my mind, several things started to change.

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