Chapter 30: Argument

   “You’re... a fuckin’ idiot,” Kelly rolled her eyes and turned away from him with a heavy sigh. “And, you’re gonna regret all of this later. Such a big fuckin’ mistake. A waste. But, whatever. Not my problem… right?”

   We’re all friends, Stephanie thought in dismay. She understood each of their particular perspectives—in a detached way—but her heart ached watching their difference of mind grow into such a point of contention.

   After the argument between Brian and Kelly, a strained atmosphere seemed to fall over them. Kelly was annoyed, seeming to have grown stiff with discontentment, while Brian fell silent, making Stephanie’s sense of social helplessness start to gnaw at her. She didn’t want this sense of apprehension to dampen the excitement and energy she had for this day.

   Remembering the instructions she’d received earlier, Stephanie timidly offered Brian her hand, and felt a wave of relief when he accepted it. The three headed across the gallery of the upper level together at a leisurely pace, taking in the sight of the vibrant swarm of fans gathered in the lobby below.

   “Let’s take a look around up here first,” Brian gave Stephanie an apologetic look before turning towards Kelly. “Kelly?”

   “Yeah,” Kelly stated in a neutral tone. “Sure.”

   The first panel room of the upper level they arrived at had its program underway already, with a speaker addressing a nearly full room of attendees.

   “What is ‘moé?’” A large, bearded man with a shaved head who looked very much like the member of a biker gang fresh out of prison was roaring into his microphone in a hoarse voice. “Cute?! Moé is more than just cute.”

   “Hear, hear!”

   “Exactly!!

   “Yosh!”

   “Preach!”

   “Moé is when yer heart gets a boner! It’s that budding feelin’ of infatuation, it’s tha pangs of adolescence invoked all over again when you see somethin’ so damned adorable, that it touches you, deep inside and melts yer bitter and cynical heart that’s been walled off by thirty-seven years of desperate, painful loneliness!”

   Lingering near the door, Brian looked to his companions for a consensus. Kelly winced at the idea of entering the panel room, looking decidedly disinterested. Stephanie shrugged, curious but ready to agree to whatever Brian decided.

   “Yeah. Guess I don’t really want to sit down right away, either,” Brian nodded, looking restless. They passed the room by and continued on. “We can check out the atrium?”

   “Let’s!” Stephanie agreed eagerly, giving him a smile.

   The atrium, to Stephanie’s surprise, was an entire amphitheater room built into the upper level, featuring several stages set up beneath an enormous dodecahedron of glass and steel far above their heads. Here, padded swordfighters in tunics, tabards, and gambesons were having practice matches upon stage. The theater’s seats had been cleared out, creating a broad open space populated with different tables, lines, and clusters of medieval-clad warriors chatting with each other.

   “This is where my friend Rebecca does her thing,” Brian explained, gesturing across the bustling activity throughout the giant room. “Live-action battle gaming, I think.”

   “Have you ever played this... game?” Stephanie asked with interest, watching a fighter with a two-handed sword crash his weapon down upon his opponent’s shield. It was exciting—and a little alarming—watching the pair on stage trade aggressive blows back and forth, and she couldn’t help but wonder what Brian would be like up there.

   “Emily and I had a little practice fight with the weapons they let you try out,” Brian remembered. “But, it wasn’t anything big like this back then. Last year, it was just a little room off of the lobby downstairs. Seems like this stuff’s really taking off.”

   While it was interesting, it felt rude to simply stand off to the side gawking at the battle-gamers, so the trio moved on from the impromptu arena and across to the other side of the upper level. As they did, Stephanie couldn’t help but walk next to the railing overlooking the lobby so that she could see down across the entire convention hall.

   There were friends huddled together for security amid the press of bodies, smiling and enthusiastically pointing out costumes. Going around the convention with Brian and Kelly, she felt so much more like she belonged, like she was one of them, like she was a part of the whole experience rather than an interloping outsider. Adjusting her glasses with her free hand, Stephanie found her lovely blue eyes drawn to several of the stand-out cosplayers from series she recognized.

   There was a Faye Heartlock strutting in yellow hotpants that offered about as much coverage as wearing a belt, the deep line of her cleavage barely constrained by the single button of her yellow vest. A platinum-blonde girl wearing the null suit from Metrazoid might as well have been painted into the outfit she was boldly posing in, light-blue latex hugging intimately to every curve. Some of the outfits worn down there would have seemed positively scandalous to the Stephanie of yesterday—Now, she felt so much more confident and comfortable in her own body that she could almost imagine wearing some of them herself. Stephanie looked at them all with interest, musing on new perspectives and wondering where her own boundaries would be; what she might decide to wear next year.

   She felt uniquely off-balance, like she was standing with one foot in the world of yesterday she was used to, and one foot in a future she couldn’t have ever imagined. When she’d arrived at the con yesterday with Megan, she’d been interested but… withdrawn, her feelings for the convention experience subdued and reluctant. Last night, she’d been initiated into a whole new world. A world filled with intimacy, attraction, and uncertain companionship that was dangerously addictive. Now, she was excited, exuberant, she felt alive in ways she’d almost forgotten.

   But, at the same time, she was terrified of overstepping herself, of testing the unknown boundaries. After years of detaching herself from things and becoming conservative with her feelings, keeping the world at a healthy distance… she was now riding the thrilling edge of high risk, high return emotional investments.

   Her eyes wandered up Brian’s chest and across his broad shoulders. And, it feels like I just keep winning big. She wanted to latch onto Brian and Kelly both and never let them go.

   Taking a closer look at her two companions, however, Stephanie felt the beaming smile on her face begin to fall. Kelly was openly broadcasting impatience and annoyance with her crossed arms and disinterested scowl, while Brian had donned his Darkmask helmet once again, rendering him somehow distant and impersonal. You guys…!

   “Sh-shall we head back downstairs?” Stephanie proposed in a meek voice, feeling desperate for them to move on from this thorny situation and leave it behind them. “Or… ah, d-did we want to look at the other things, um, the rooms, on this level?”

   “Lead on,” Brian shrugged.

   Shooting Kelly a nervous glance when the dark-haired gothic beauty didn’t respond, Stephanie gingerly took each of them by the hand. She wasn’t sure she quite understood their adamant refusal to see things on each other’s terms, and didn’t know how it had come to such a stubborn standoff. Holding Brian’s hand on one side and Kelly’s on the other, she felt like she was the bridge to help them reconnect, to set aside their differences somehow. And, she had no inkling on how to accomplish that.

   Together, the three forged on through the crowds on the landing and stepped onto the escalator that would take them back down to the ground floor of the convention hall.

   “...Were we just gonna fuckin’ wander around aimlessly?” Kelly asked, looking from Brian to Stephanie. “We’d be having more fun back at the hotel. What about the plan, Steph?”

   “Uh-uhmm,” Stephanie sputtered, freezing up in fright. She mostly felt like she was on Brian’s side of the argument… it was just that certain aspects of Kelly’s position were also tantalizing and persuasive in their own way. “I-I just—”

   “Plan?” Brian looked from girl to girl.

   “Yeah—your plan,” Kelly said, slyly turning back to face Brian again. “You said we’re on ‘plan B,’ today. Plan B was for all of us to have a blast today. Right?”

   “Plan B was us all having fun here at the convention, yeah.”

   “Okay. We can be here at the con and have fun. Fun like last night.”

   “I… didn’t mean that kind of fun.”

   “Well, I do.”

   “Sounds like we’re at an impasse,” Brian held up his hands, not about to keep arguing pointlessly. By now, he looked wholly indifferent to Kelly, which seemed at odds with expectations of what a guy would want, but... somehow natural and real for Brian.

   Stephanie watched the proceedings with interest.

   “C’mon, Steph,” Kelly switched to a new tact, turning instead to Stephanie. “Help me talk some sense into this loser!”

   “Sense? Steph’s having fun here,” Brian said. “Aren’t you?”

   Alarmed, Stephanie backed up a step with a weak smile, holding up her hands and shaking her head to indicate she was staying out of this.

   “No?” Kelly cocked an eyebrow at her. “You’re saying ‘no’ to which one of us?”

   “I-I’m not… saying anything at all!” Stephanie answered with a meek laugh. “I’m, um, impartial, th-the impartial third party, hah ha…”

   “...Excuse me, while I confer with my associate for a moment,” Kelly growled, pulling Stephanie aside to the edge of the lobby, away from Brian.

   “Steph? You’ll help me, right? Please?” Kelly begged, her fine features revealing a distraught, defenseless look. “Fuck. I’m tryin’ hard to keep my cool, but I really can’t take any more of this, I’m-I’m going crazy—help me?”

   “O-okay, I’ll help,” Stephanie agreed with a concerned look. “What’s wrong?”

   “Seriously, of all things, that was gonna work?” Kelly smirked, her distraught expression immediately reverting back to the teasing, impassive mask she normally wore. “You guys are both so damned naive…”

   “Y-you… are you being serious?” Stephanie stammered. “Or is this a, is this all just an act?”

   “Well, yeah, the helpless trick’s an act,” Kelly admitted. “But, so is the whole I’m all in control all the time thing. Look, it’s all an act. Guys’re more sensitive to these kinds of moods than you’d think. I really can use your help with Brian right now, though.”

   “H-how…” Stephanie began, regarding Kelly with a cautious smile and feeling a little perplexed. “How can I trust you, then?”

   “I don’t want your trust,” Kelly replied, wearing an mysterious, unreadable face in return. “I want your help.”

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   “I’ll help you,” Stephanie decided with a nod. “Just, um. Well, what’s wrong?”

   “Brian, that’s what’s wrong,” Kelly scoffed, fluffing the ruffles of her petticoat in aggravation. “Things aren’t working like they should. It’s like he has his guard up, he’s all on the defensive. He warms up to you no problem, but all I’m gettin’ is cold shoulder. I don’t get it. You think maybe I’m just not his type? Too intimidating, or something?”

   “Well, um…” Stephanie looked baffled. Does she really not understand his point of view? “What do you really want out of this?”

   “Have you even listened to me at all today?!” Kelly exclaimed in exasperation. “I’m helping you two out, yeah. But, I’m trying to get fuckin’ laid, too, you know? Clock’s ticking on that if his friends are showing up. Can’t you like, ask him what his deal is with me?”

   “So… all you want is sex?”

   “Fuckin’ duh!”

   “I don’t buy that either—it doesn’t add up,” Stephanie insisted, shaking her head. “I don’t think it’s just, um. That. I’m sure you could… do that, have… sex with almost anyone else you wanted, anywhere, just by being you.”

   “Obviously not…” Kelly made a face, pursing her lips in annoyance, but she let Stephanie continue.

   “Why him, then? Why me, wh-why stick around with us? Kelly… what’s going on? Why are you really here, at the convention? What was the big thing that happened with you, th-that you didn’t want to talk about last night? Brian just—”

   “Look, Steph,” Kelly growled. Something in her carefully composed mask flickered, revealing something in the beautiful girl that was neither calm nor in control. Just as quickly, Kelly took a deep breath and the moment was gone, the cool girl facade returned in its place. “Knowing what my whole deal is? It won’t help us out any, here.”

   Kelly… Stephanie regarded her for an uncomfortable moment in silence, unable to interject—still too timid to do so. She wished she could be someone Kelly could confide in, but the right words to reach out seemed to just be out of her grasp.

   “Hell—you’d probably trust me even less. It’s… long, and full of bullshit, and I don’t need anyone else getting involved.” Kelly made a frustrated noise of aggravation. “Okay? I don’t need you prying all up into my business, and I don’t need your pity.”

   “I’m not… I wasn’t offering you my pity,” Stephanie countered in a quiet voice. “I’m offering you my help. Kelly, do you… do you trust Brian and I? Really trust us?”

   “Trust you guys? No,” Kelly snorted, inexplicably looking vulnerable again before she scoffed again. “Yes? I don’t know, dumb question. Doesn’t matter. Why would I trust you guys? Steph—you don’t go and spill your life story to people when you’re just tryin’ to get laid. It’s counter-intuitive, retarded, it’s like, immediate red flags and alarm bells. You don’t have perspective, Steph. You’re doing all your thinking with that widdle wovely heart of yours, that has this big dopey first crush on him.”

   “Okay,” Stephanie replied seriously, appraising Kelly again for a long moment. “Maybe I am. Is that any worse than, um… what you’re trying to think with, instead?”

   Kelly’s eyes widened in surprise.

   “Well, sorry for having sex on my mind,” Kelly finally gave her a mocking look. “Sheesh! I only sat there, neglected, while he tongue-punched your twat-box to this amazing fuckin’ orgasm? Yeah, of course you’re all satisfied—he already slurped your spunk sleeve all fuckin’ sloppy.”

   “What?! No,” Stephanie said quickly, flushing with embarrassment and glancing around to make sure no one had overheard. “Yes? I-I don’t know, maybe? Could you please not refer, um, could you never, ever call it that? H-how do you keep coming up with those?!”

   “They just come to me. It’s a gift.”

   “Wh-what if,” Stephanie blustered, “maybe it did—uh, that, d-doing that did feel that amazing, but it was because I have a crush, um, because I do trust him. It, ah, made the difference. It was… cathartic.”

   “Ca-what?”

   “…Cathartic?”

   “What does that mean?”

   “I’m… not sure how to, um, it’s this emotional, um. I-I don’t know how to describe it,” Stephanie sighed, helpless to explain herself. “Cathartic. Catharsis? M-maybe it is a crush, is what I’m saying. But, maybe that’s what you actually need? N-not a crush, but, maybe… a deeper connection?”

   “Yeah, uh, sure,” Kelly replied with a noncommittal shrug. “But, what if instead, we all just fuck, and leave it at that? No complications, loose ends or feelings or anything?”

   “But, he may not, um… no, he won’t do that,” Stephanie pointed out. “I don’t think. If you can’t open up to each other, that is, and really… um, connect.”

   “Which sounds dumb to me,” Kelly sighed in aggravation. “People don’t havta get personal to have great sex, Stephanie.”

   “I-I know,” Stephanie tried, struggling to find the words to express her feelings. “But isn’t doing that, uh, doing just sex, isn’t that only treating the symptoms, without addressing the cause?”

   “…The cause?” Kelly’s eyebrows rose, and that tenuous thread of gravity between the two girls seemed to pull taut again as she bristled with unseen anger. “Stephanie—you don’t know me. And, even if we were friends—and we’re not, not really—it wouldn’t be okay for you to be all up in my personal business.”

   “Sorry,” Stephanie said quietly. “I’m sorry. I thought—well, um, I think of us as… friends. What… are we, really?”

   “We’re friendly,” Kelly reminded her, aggressively palming a handful of Stephanie’s butt for emphasis. “Not friends.”

   “Awah!! Ahh, ahh, st-stop that!” Stephanie protested, twisting and squirming her way out of Kelly’s grasp. “Well, I think of you as my friend. Even if—even if you’re mean, sometimes.”

   Unmoved by her claim, Kelly just shook her head in exasperation and stepped back over to Brian, ending their little talk. Stephanie followed uneasily—she didn’t feel like she’d gotten through to the girl at all. Standing together once again, the three companions exchanged uncomfortable glances with each other, and Stephanie felt a bitter sense of loss that she was unable to put into words.

   “Ah… well, fuck.”

   Both Brian and Stephanie turned in surprise towards Kelly, who’d frozen on the spot, staring off ahead of them. Stephanie tracked her gaze through the crowd in confusion, but didn’t see anything—or anyone—that seemed out of place. Different anime fans and cosplayers were walking ahead of them, but none of them spared a glance back at Kelly.

   “Is... everything alright?” Brian asked.

   “I’ve—gotta go,” Kelly said distractedly. The expression on her face was difficult to read, but it still looked like her eyes were following someone up ahead. “Shit. Uh, yeah. Well, bye, guys.”

   “Everything okay?” Brian asked again, while Stephanie looked at her with mounting concern.

   “No. But, I’ve just gotta get it over with,” Kelly’s gaze snapped back to them and she gave them a dry smile. “Personal business. I’m gonna go see this old friend, take care of some things. I’ll catch you two lovebirds later sometime, though.”

   “Uh... okay. You need your stuff?” Brian asked, passing Stephanie his Darkmask helmet so that he could pop open the pouches on his belt.

   “I…” Kelly seemed to pause, stepping up to him as he pulled everything out of his pouches and passed her both her cell phone and the crumpled twenty-dollar bill. She seemed hesitant and uncertain for once, in a way that Stephanie found unsettling.

    Is she really leaving us? Just like that?

   “You have two of these?” Kelly asked, drawing the hotel room keycard from his hand.

   “Yeah,” Brian said, surprised. “This is the spare. Always keep mine in my boot, just in case—I was gonna give that one to Emily and Rebecca later on. Take it if you need it, though.”

   “Cool. Thanks,” Kelly said, awkwardly unclasping and unbuttoning the top of her gothic lolita dress until cleavage was revealed. Brian and Stephanie tried not to stare as she slipped the key between her breasts and hurriedly began fastening her top up again, already striding away.

   “W-wait!” Stephanie called out in an anxious whisper, quickly advancing forward and latching onto Kelly’s arm before she could get away. “Do you have to, um, are you really—what will, what do—what do I do?”

   “Uh,” Kelly stopped to look back at them, actually giving Stephanie a guilty look. “I’ll see you guys later? Probably.”

   “There’s the Hero Hero Haruki thing at noon,” Brian said. “Don’t know where we’re doing our actual photoshoot, but we’re meeting up in the main lobby first. Look for a buncha guys dressed up like me.”

   “‘Kay,” Kelly nodded, before looking to Stephanie. “Steph… just, you know. Stick to the plan, okay? You’ll be fine.”

   Kelly turned away from them with a whirl of her skirts and left them, hurrying away down the convention corridor. The pair watched on in surprise as Kelly disappeared into the crowds, and Stephanie moved closer, taking the initiative to clutch onto Brian’s arm.

   “Well… alright?” Brian shook his head, trying to figure out what could have happened to spur Kelly into such a sudden flight. “What is the plan, then?”

   “It-it’s not a plan,” Stephanie said firmly. “It’s a promise. She’ll be back.”

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