Chapter 22: Chapter 22

It was another crossroad town. This one was large, nearly the size of Endertown. It even had walls. They were made of wood, but still, there were walls. Anna was chatting with the innkeeper. She flirted with the man, having learned how from watching other women do so over the last few months. It seemed to have worked because she got them a great rate on the room. “Men are so easy,” she thought as she walked to the table where her friends had sat. “Lass, I think you broke his heart,” Thokri said, nodding towards the man. “Not interested,” she replied. “Looks fine to me. What didn’t you like about him?” Elaine asked. “He’s fine. I’m just not interested in sex,” Anna replied. “I think lads everywhere just started to weep,” Thokri said. “Lasses, too. Not interested in anyone really,” Anna replied. She had learned that women could indeed have sex.  

Elaine had told her after she got over her embarrassment from Anna’s comment at the table all those months ago. “But Anna, you did jerk off a troll,” Lyreen said, wiggling her eyebrows. “That was so lame,” Anna thought. “You helped,” Anna replied, smiling at her and making a crude motion with her hand in the woman’s direction. Lyreen sighed. “It bothers me that you got so good at this,” she said. “She learned from the best,” Thokri said, patting Anna on the back. “Aye,” Anna replied, downing the mug of ale that had just been placed on the table in front of her and then belching loudly. “Why did she have to take after the dwarf?” Lyreen said, sighing again. “Well, I’m going to put my stuff in my room. I don’t want that guy making eyes at me for the rest of the day,” Anna said, grabbing her pack and heading to her room.  

The room was the same as all the other inns she had been to, with the furniture in slightly different arrangement. Just like the others, she put down her pack and sat on the bed. “What’s happening to me? I’ve never done anything like that before,” she thought. “I’ve never said anything like that either. Am I different? What happened?” she wondered. Summoning an eye, she looked at herself, seeing the same woman as every other time, identical in every way, and totally unchanged. She looked deeper and couldn’t find anything different there. “Maybe I’ve always been like this but didn’t know,” she thought. “I wonder what I’ll be like next year or a thousand years from now. I can’t change. The dreamer made me this way. I’ll always be the same, but I wonder if I will be a different person in the same body afterwhile,” she thought. “Anna, come with me,” Lyreen said. Anna looked at her with a questioning look. “Cupcakes,” Lyreen said. “Let’s go,” Anna replied. “Can we join you?” Elaine and Barika asked. “Of course,” Anna said. Voekeer started to get up. “Nope. No men. Stay here with Thokri, and see who can drink more,” Lyreen said to him. He just shrugged and sat back down. “I’ll make sure to get some hangover cure,” Barika said as they walked out the door.  

“So, what’s on your mind?” Elaine asked. “They aren’t talking about cupcakes,” Anna thought. “What do you mean?” she said “You seem off today,” Lyreen said. “I don’t feel like myself. I don’t even know what I’m supposed to feel like,” Anna replied. “Well, tell us about it,” Lyreen said. Anna told them about her trying to imitate others, how she had started to feel about things, and that her feelings were different that before. The women listened and asked her a few questions while she talked. “I know what I am, but I don’t know who I am,” Anna said, finishing. “I know what’s happening to you child,” Barika said. “What’s that?” Anna asked. “You’re growing up in your own way. You were like a baby when we first met. All you had were the memories of others to guide you, and none of them were that old, so you just went along with anything, but now, you’re letting us know your own mind. For a human, it takes years to do that, and longer for elves and dwarves, but we all do,” Barika said.  

“Oh, that makes sense. Does that mean I’m not going to change more?” Anna asked. “I think you were always like this. You just couldn’t tell us,” Barika said. Elaine got a shocked look on her face. “What’s wrong?” Anna asked. “I just imagined a moody teenaged Anna. It scared me,” she said in mock horror. Lyreen stepped away slightly. “She wouldn’t slam door. She’d slam the whole house,” Lyreen added. Barika laughed. “No. Her body isn’t changing. I don’t think it can by what she told us, so that won’t happen. Anna, just think about what you are going to do before you do it,” Barika said. “I will. Can you let me know if I’m being weird?” Anna asked. “Yes, child,” Barika replied. “Uh, Anna, what you did at the inn, that was a little much,” Elaine said. “How? I was just flirting to get a better rate,” Anna said. She was surprised it had worked. “Oh gods, that’s what you thought you were doing. It looked like you were going to pull him over the bar and have your way with him right there. You scared him. I think that’s why he gave you a better rate,” Elaine said.  

“Maybe men aren’t so easy,” Anna thought. “Voekeer is going to have to apologize and pay the man the difference,” Lyreen said. “Sorry,” Anna said. “Anna, don’t try to flirt to get what you want. It’s not right, and it makes it harder for other women,” Barika said. The other women nodded at this. “I won’t do it again,” Anna replied. “Good, but if you find you need to, just look at him with those big eyes of yours and ask nicely. It will work better,” Barika said smiling. “Really? That’s it?” Anna asked. “Oh, yes,” Elaine replied. “I’m really confused right now,” Anna said. “It takes years, child. It takes years,” Barika replied. “One more thing. Please forget those barmaids. They weren’t doing the kind of work you should be copying,” Lyreen said. “What kind of work did they do?” Anna asked. Lyreen whispered the details in her ear. “Men pay for that?” Anna asked.  

“Yes child, and some women do too. Nothing wrong with it, but if it’s not what you want to do, then you shouldn’t act like them,” Barika answered. “I just want some cupcakes right now, and maybe I’ll find some monster to bash in the face,” Anna thought. Then she smiled. “What are you smiling about?” Elaine asked. “Eating cupcakes and bashing something’s face in,” Anna answered. “Oh, uh, let’s just get the cupcakes. No bashing please,” Elaine said. “This is why we had to talk to her first, before she asked the dwarf. Gods know what would have happened then,” Lyreen said. “What’s wrong with dwarves?” Anna asked. “Nothing child, but you’re a more like a human than a dwarf. He would just get things wrong about you and not know better,” Barika said. “That makes sense,” Anna said.  

They reached the bakery soon after and loaded up on cupcakes. Anna was eating two at a time. “I think I’m going to just be myself and quit imitating people,” Anna said. “That’s for the best child,” Barika said. “What do you mean, be yourself?” Lyreen asked. Anna stuffed one of the cupcakes in her mouth, picked up a rock, and then crushed. “Oh, that,” Lyreen said. Anna swallowed. “I’m not human. I don’t need to pretend I am. You don’t pretend to be anything. You’re an elf, and that’s what you are. I’m, well, me, and that’s what I am,” Anna replied, skipping the part where she said what she really is. “Just don’t go too far into the weird, ok?” Lyreen said. Anna shrugged. The men were still sitting at the table, although Voekeer was wavering in his chair some. “You ladies have fun?” he asked, slurring some. “Yes, we had a nice chat,” Lyreen said, sitting next to him. Anna sat next to Thokri who waved off her offer of a cupcake.  

The room had gotten noisy enough that eves dropping wasn’t possible but still quiet enough where you could talk without yelling. “The dreamer won’t be helping me anymore,” Anna said. “Why, lass?” Thokri asked. Anna explained the dream and how it was different than the others. “So, you dream of a sea of tentacles every night?” Elaine asked. “Yes, and eyes too,” Anna replied. Elaine shuddered. “What’s wrong with tentacles?” Anna thought, but decided not to ask. “I don’t think that it was even the dreamer that night. It was me. The part of me that’s still like it,” Anna said. “I think this is a puzzle for the archmage,” Voekeer said, having sobered up. “Aye, way above us,” Thorki added. They spent the next few days resting and buying supplies, not sure of when they would get another chance. The market was short on a few things, the locals saying that the wagons were running late.  

They were eating breakfast. It was leftover stew from the night before, and Anna was thinking of the porridge Elisabeth used to make and missed it terribly. “Don’t look so sad. We are a few months from Oldforge. You can get a proper meal there,” Voekeer said. A bell started ringing. “Damn, what now? Everyone, go get your gear on,” Voekeer said, standing and rushing towards his room. The others rushed to their own. They rushed out of the inn armed and ready. “Goblins! Goblins! Men to the walls! Women get buckets!” a voice cried. “I hate those bastards,” Voekeer said. “Half of them are women,” Anna said. “How do you know that?” Voekeer asked. “Their loincloths fall off when you pull off their legs. They scream a lot, too,” Anna replied. “Ah, the men or the women?” Voekeer added. “Both,” Anna replied. 

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