Chapter 39: Chapter 39

She woke up the next morning with a naked dwarven woman in her bed with her. She scooted off the bed and put her dress back on.

She went downstairs to find her house filled with passed out dwarves. They were everywhere. A few dwarves were awake, and they were cooking breakfast, lots of breakfast. There was a pile of bacon already on the table and what looked like a pile of eggs being prepared.

The table was clean and clear of dwarves. She sat down and started to munch some of the bacon, not caring if she was supposed to wait or not.

It’s my house after all.

None of the dwarves said a word. She spotted all of her friends, including Gwen and Lucy, passed out here and there amongst the piles of dwarves.

A plate of scrambled eggs was set next to her along with a small plate and a fork for her to eat with. She piled the eggs on her plate and took a handful of bacon.

The dwarves sliced and toasted several loaves of bread and placed them on the table with a crock of butter that wasn’t hers. Not really caring of the origin of any of the food, she buttered her bread and started to eat.

Either the sound of her crunching away or the smell of the food started to rouse the dwarves. Soon there was a line next to her table, and the dwarves each got a plate and then went off to eat, sitting in random places around her house. Thokri joined her at the table.

“Now, that was a party, lass,” he said while filling his plate.

“Aye,” Anna replied. Out of her friends, Barika was the next up. She sat next to Anna and Thokri at the table and rubbed her temples.

“Oh goddess, I haven’t felt like this in years,” she said.

A dwarf set a vial in front of her and patted her on the shoulder.

“Drink this, lass. It helps,” he said. Barika downed the vial and sneezed a few times.

“That stuff is potent,” she said.

“I really need to make some more,” Anna replied.

“I’ll help you if you teach me the recipe,” Barika said.

“Sure. I’m surprised you didn’t ask earlier,” Anna replied.

“I had no idea it was this effective,” Barika said.

“You should have just asked Elaine. She drank all of my other ones,” Anna replied.

“She does enjoy her drink, doesn’t she?” Barika said.

“Aye,” Thokri replied.

The rest of her friends joined her one by one, including Gwen. Lucy, on the other hand, vanished as soon as she woke up.

“Guess we have our answer,” Voekeer said.

“It must have been the eye,” Anna replied.

“Definitely,” Lyreen said.

“I’m not going to stay with you all either, but I won’t disappear. The dwarves offered me a job at the hall,” Gwen said.

“That’s fine,” Anna replied.

“You need to take care of yourself, child. Even though you’ve been cured, your body is in terrible shape,” Barika said.

“I know,” Gwen replied.

Everyone stuffed themselves, and then the dwarves cleaned up the house.

By the time the last dwarf walked out, it was spotless. The party sat at the table, unable to move from their over-full bellies.

“I really like dwarves,” Anna said.

“I’m beginning to grow quite fond of them myself, child,” Barika replied.

“So, what are we going to do today?” Lyreen asked.

“I’m going to make potions,” Anna replied.

“So, we’re going back to the market then?” Lyreen asked.

“Yes,” Anna replied.

Once everyone could move again, they left her house and headed to the market. This time they went to a shady part known for alchemists. The profession didn’t have the best reputation with honest practitioners, who usually called themselves apothecaries.

Despite the poor reputation of said alchemists, the street was packed with people. They passed a wagon that was covered in bottles. A crowd was gathered around, and a greasy man was shouting all manner of strange claims about his potion.

So, it can cure baldness, dry skin, impotence, whatever that is, insomnia, and fatigue. How is that even possible?

She was beginning to understand why these people weren’t trusted.

They checked the shops and stalls until they found a man selling supplies and ingredients. He didn’t seem all that trustworthy to Anna, but with the others there, she wasn’t worried about getting ripped off.

Elaine walked over to him, making sure that he could see her tattoos. Barika was next to her, and Thokri was standing behind them.

“How can I help you today?” the merchant asked nervously.

“We need these ingredients and a portable alchemist’s kit,” Elaine said. She handed the list Anna had made to the man. He looked it over and nodded.

“I can do that. Twenty silver,” he said.

“Ten,” Elaine said. She was smiling a horrible smile and looking the man over like he was some piece of meat.

He swallowed hard. “Uh, I can’t go that low. Is fifteen silver alright?” he asked.

“Twelve,” Elaine said.

He just nodded slowly and started to pack up the ingredients. He kept looking at the party nervously as he worked.

Anna felt sort of bad for him, but this is what her friends said was the best way to get the things she needed, so she didn’t argue.

Once the poor man was finished, Elaine paid him, and they took the bundle of herbs and the large case filled with everything she’d need to make potions on the road.

They went back to her house, and she set up the kit with Barika’s help.

Once that was finished, she started to measure out the herbs and mushrooms needed to make dwarven hangover cure. It was a complicated potion with a dozen different mushrooms and a few herbs that could only be found in caves. It made sense really. Dwarves didn’t live above ground normally, so their remedies relied on subterranean ingredients.

Each ingredient had to be ground to different consistencies and added at just the right moment and at just the right temperature. Thokri hadn’t known all of the details, so she had sampled a vial he had on him, and thanks to her uncanny sense of taste, she was able to determine what was in it.

How to make it on the other hand had taken a lot of trial and error on her part. She had to drink the disgusting potion herself, not wanting to poison her friends if she got it wrong. It took her days to get it right, but when she did, she was able to make every batch after the exact same way, so it was worth it.

Poor Barika was overwhelmed watching Anna work. “Child, how did you do this over a campfire in the middle of the night?” she asked.

“I can see in the dark, and once I learn to do something, I can’t get it wrong,” Anna replied.

“I’m more impressed that Thokri knew how to make this stuff,” Lyreen said. She was engrossed in the process.

“I didn’t, lass. I just told her what I knew of it and gave her a drink of one. She started to taste every mushroom and herb we came across until she figured out what was in it, and then got to brewing away until she made one better than the ones I had,” Thokri replied.

“Wait, you can tell what’s in a potion by drinking it?” Lyreen asked in amazement.

“Yes,” Anna replied. Lyreen got up and pulled Voekeer to his feet.

“We need to go get a bunch of potions for her to try,” she said. Voekeer’s eyes went wide.

“We’re going to save a fortune!” he replied.

Elaine and Barika stood up as well. “We’re coming too,” Elaine said.

“I’m sorry, child, but this is far beyond anything I can do,” Barika said.

“It’s alright,” Anna replied.

The others rushed out of her house, chatting about what potions they wanted her to drink. Thokri remained behind. He was drinking some of the ale that the other dwarves had left behind.

“Baa, when you drank that barrel of ale while doing a handstand, that was more impressive than the potion,” he said.

“That was fun. But if I catch whoever was flipping coins into my slit while I was doing it, I’m going to shave them!” Anna said.

Thokri burst into laughter. “Missed that one, lass,” he replied.

“Whoever it was didn’t. I had two sticking out when I finished.”

The others had thirty potions when they came back. She had finished up the batch of hangover cure, so she started to sample the array of bottles they had put in front of her.

Elaine had a quill and paper and was writing down the ingredients she knew of that were in each of them.

“We’re going to need to get samples of every possible herb, mushroom, and mineral that can go in a potion,” Lyreen said.

“You’d better bring me some good drink to get the taste out of my mouth,” Anna replied.

“I’ll bring you a few bottles of elven wine,” Voekeer said.

“Fancy,” Elaine replied.

“Fine,” Anna replied, and her friends were off again.

Anna stopped brewing potions and started to drink with Thokri. The potions in her belly weren’t getting along with each other, and she kept burping every few minutes.

“Might not be a good idea to keep eat’n strange things, lass,” Thokri said.

“I’ll be fine,” Anna replied.

“Aye, but that’s not what I’m worried about,” he said.

Anna just shrugged. She knew it would be okay. This time when her friends returned, they had bags filled with ingredients. There were a few flasks of liquids as well as a few slimy substances.

“I swear, if that’s what it looks like, I’ll roast you over a fire and eat you,” Anna said as Elaine handed her a vial of sticky fluid.

“How in the abyss would you know what that looks like? You’ve never even seen one hard before,” Elaine replied.

“I’ve heard about it,” Anna said.

“It’s not, so shut up and drink it,” Elaine replied.

Anna snatched the vial from her and downed it. “Blech,” she said. Elaine smirked at the face she had made.

This went on for hours. She tasted the awful things, and they would tell her what it was and what its alleged properties were.

Once she finished, she sampled hundreds of different things and had the worst taste in her mouth of her entire life. Voekeer pulled the cork from a large dark glass bottle he had been carrying. A sweet smell filled the room.

He filled a mug and pushed it to her. She took a drink and a wonderful fruity taste washed away the terrible one that had been there. She drank the mug, and he filled it again. About halfway through the second one, her stomach rumbled loudly.

“I don’t like the sound of that,” Elaine said.

Anna leaned over to one side and unleashed the most powerful flatulence that any present had ever heard.

Before anyone could comment on it, a smell that could move mountains assailed their nostrils. Lyreen started to gag.

“Someone open a window!” Elaine said.

“Fuck a window! Open the door!” Voekeer said.

“Someone light a fire,” Barika said.

“Don’t do it! The whole place might go up in flames!” Thokri said.

Anna chuckled at their misfortune. She wasn’t affected by it. She didn’t need to breathe after all.

They opened the windows and left the house. The stench was just too great to stay.

“We’d better spend some time at the hall,” Thokri said.

“Works for me,” Elaine replied.

Anna had to walk behind the others on the way there. She wasn’t finished gassing. As it turned out, the street was surprisingly empty as they walked.

Once they reached the dwarven hall, she rushed to the privy. After spending an inordinately long time in there, she walked out to find her friends.

“Don’t go in there,” Anna said with a smile.

“We’ll have to burn the place down now, lass,” Thokri replied grinning.

“I think we all learned a valuable lesson today,” Barika said.

“What’s that?” Lyreen asked.

“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should,” Barika replied.

“Hear, hear!” Voekeer said.

“Seriously, how in the world did that smell come out of you?” Elaine asked. Anna just shrugged.

They spent a few hours eating and drinking with the dwarves before heading out for the night. Anna went home and the others went back to the guild hall.

The smell was gone when she got home, and she just went to bed for the night.

She fell into a routine the next few days, and before she knew it, several weeks had passed. The high elf had never shown up at the dwarven hall. Thokri was certain he’d just forgotten about them.

The seamstress was friendly when they picked up their clothing. Anna was happy to have more dresses. She was worried that she’d ruin the yellow dress wearing it around every day, not that she really went anywhere.

She spent most of her time recreating the potions she had drank. It was slow-going. She had no idea where to start with any of them, but trial and error had prevailed, and she was halfway through them.

She’d also practiced with the magic rings and was able to use them without concentrating now.

It had been a good few weeks for her, and the only thing that weighed on her mind was the guild master. She wasn’t supposed to be gone this long, and her friends didn’t want to take any jobs until they got their reward from the crossroads. She understood, but it was starting to annoy her.

She sat at her table munching bacon.

Better get over to the guild and see. She finished the bacon and cleaned up.

“I need to find Emily and thank her again,” Anna said, looking at the cleaning ring she’d used to clean the dishes with. She had no idea that magic could be so useful.

Before the rings, she’d only seen a few spells that weren’t combat related. She really wondered what mages had against these wonderful little things. She put the ring back into her belt pouch.

She left her house, making sure to lock the door and walked outside. She was surrounded by a pleasant floral scent as she walked away.

I’m so glad I bought those boxes.

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“Play with me!” a small boy said as he rushed over holding up a ball.

“I can’t today. I have to go to the guild,” Anna replied.

He sadly lowered the ball and slunk away dejectedly. Anna smirked at the display. She knew if she said yes, he’d be instantly cheerful again. For some reason, all of the children in the neighborhood loved her. They would follow her around whenever she came home or left, and she always had a crowd of them nearby when she tended her gardens.

It’s got to be my hair.

Their mothers on the other hand weren’t all that fond of her. They claimed that it was because of all the dwarves and adventurers that started to hang around now that she moved in, but Anna had heard them all talking, and they were worried that she was going to take their husbands or something. Gwen had suggested she start kissing dwarves in front of her house.

The dwarves really wanted to for some reason.

She didn’t want to kiss anyone, so she just ignored that suggestion.

She just shook her head. People still confused her on a regular basis.

She heard an enraged roar as she walked up to the guild hall. She rushed into the building. The place was a mess with tables turned over and broken chairs everywhere. Bruno was grappling an enormous green woman.

Bruno glanced Anna’s way. That was a mistake on his part. The green woman twisted away from him and then started to pummel the huge man, knocking him around with ease.

Anna rushed forward at inhuman speed. She slammed her fist into the woman’s guts doubling her over. Anna punched the woman in the side of her face knocking her unconscious and breaking her jaw. The woman fell to the floor with a loud thump.

“Thanks skinny,” Bruno said.

“No problem, fatso,” Anna replied. He chuckled then looked at the green woman and shook his head.

“Who is she?” Anna asked.

“Gorka, the Guild Master of the Oldforge adventurer’s guild,” Bruno replied.

“You mean I just punched out the Guild Master?” Anna asked.

Bruno grinned. “Sure did,” he replied.

“Shit!” Anna said.

“Don’t worry about it. She won’t remember a thing, and I usually have to do it myself,” Bruno replied.

“What was that?” Anna asked.

“Orc rage. It’s like berserking but worse. Orcs can’t help it. If they get too angry, they just have to fight anything nearby,” Bruno replied.

“What made her so angry?” Anna asked.

“That idiot was harassing some new people and then mouthed off when I told him to knock it off,” Bruno replied.

She looked to where Bruno was pointing and spotted Rupert who looked as if he’d been slammed through a table and then beaten with a dozen or so chairs until they shattered.

“Is he dead?” Anna asked.

“Doubt it, bull men are tough,” Bruno replied. He walked over to Rupert and lifted him up by the leg. He dragged the beastkin to the door and tossed him outside.

“Don’t want her to go off again when she sees the fucker,” Bruno replied.

“Where are the other two that are always with him?” Anna asked.

“Pissed themselves and ran off as soon as she looked at them,” Bruno replied. Anna looked around and realized that everyone else was gone too.

“Did everyone run away?” Anna asked.

“Yep, I told them too. I was the only one here who could take her in a fight, except for you evidently,” Bruno replied.

Anna just shrugged.

Bruno whistled and people started to pour out of the back room. Her friends included. They walked over and stood next to her, staring at the unconscious Guild Master.

“Did you?” Voekeer asked.

“Yep. How could you tell?” Anna replied.

“Size of the bruise,” he said, pointing at the dark green splotch growing on the Guild Master’s face.

Everyone started to clean up the guild hall. The Guild Master was dragged out of the middle of the room and propped up against the counter at the rear of the room. It didn’t take them long to clear the wreckage and set up new furniture.

A few barmaids brought out drinks for everyone that helped. Bruno got a bucket filled with what Anna hoped was water and tossed it on the Guild Master. The woman sputtered and opened her eyes.

“Fuck man. I think you broke my jaw this time,” she said, holding a hand to the huge bruise on her face.

“Wasn’t me. It was skinny there,” Bruno replied. The Guild Master looked at Anna and smiled a toothy grin.

Wow! Those are some big teeth!

The guild master had two huge tusks jutting from her lower jaw. She walked over to Anna still grinning. Suddenly her hand shot out and grabbed Voekeer by the head. She squeezed.

“Why in the fuck did you lie on your reports boy?” the Guild Master asked.

All Voekeer seemed to be able to do was make pained sounds for a moment before she loosened her grip.

“I never lied, ma’am. I swear!” Voekeer replied.

“Is that so? Then are telling me that the master of the order of the armored fist handed me an account signed by three paladins that’s bullshit?” the Guild Master asked. She squeezed harder for a moment, then let him go. “You knew exactly what she was, and you fucking lied about it! Don’t do it again, or I’ll eat you!” the Guild Master growled.

“Yes, ma’am!” Voekeer replied rubbing his head.

The guild master looked down at her and smiled again. “Welcome to the guild kid,” she said.

“Thank you,” Anna replied.

“And I’m glad you joined up, too. I’ll take all the magic specialists I can get,” the Guild Master said.

“I’ve never even seen as much coin as I made in the last few months. There’s no way I’d say no,” Elaine replied. The Guild Master laughed.

“Don’t expect that much again unless you start taking monster slaying quests like the Iron Fangs,” the guild master said. She looked around at the rest of the room. “Alright! Listen up! I have a fuck ton of contracts from the temples. With the orders searching for the chosen one, they dumped all of their normal work on us. I expect all of you to take at least two contacts each. Make that five for parties, and if I catch you slacking, I’ll feed you to Bruno!” the Guild Master said. The ogre grinned at everyone.

“I’ll have them on the board in the morning,” Bruno said.

The guild master rubbed her jaw. She turned to Barika and smiled. Barika sighed and shook her head. She walked over to the guild master and touched her face. The soft golden glow covered her jaw.

“Thanks,” the Guild Master said.

“You’re welcome. Don’t try to block any more of Anna’s punches with your face,” Barika said.

The Guild Master rubbed her jaw at the thought. “I’ll try not to,” she replied. She looked at Bruno. “Get them their reward from the duke. They’ve been lounging around town long enough,” she said.

“Sure thing, boss,” Bruno replied.

“Oh, and they can take the skull requests. But only if she goes with them,” the Guild Master said, nodding towards Anna.

“You sure, boss?” Bruno asked. He looked surprised.

“Yeah, I am,” the Guild Master replied. She took a letter from her belt pouch and handed it to the ogre. He looked it over, his eyes growing wide as he read it.

“You’ve got to be shitting me!” Bruno said.

“Keep that between us,” the Guild Master replied, taking the letter back and putting it in her pouch once more.

“One more thing,” the Guild Master said. Everyone looked at her again. “The duke’s son is getting married, and the nobles are having a huge ball here for the occasion. The city’s going to be crawling with them for weeks. Even the queen is going to attend. So, you filthy barbarians better not cause any trouble,” the guild master said. Bruno put his arm on her shoulder.

“I’ll make sure to keep some coin to pay off angry fathers,” he replied.

“Please tell me that damned Northman is out,” she said.

“He took the quest to clear monsters at lonesome keep,” Bruno replied.

“Thank the ancestors,” the Guild Master replied.

The Guild Master and Bruno went behind the counter and started going through the paperwork.

The group sat at a table and started to drink their drinks. Voekeer dropped his, but Lyreen gave him hers.

“I say we get our contracts and get out of here as soon as we can. I’d rather not deal with a city full of nobles trying to show off to the queen,” Elaine said.

“That’s probably for the best,” Voekeer replied.

Rupert slunk in a few minutes later. He was being helped by his two companions. They all looked around nervously before finding a table in an out of the way corner to sit.

“Lad needs to learn to shut his fucking mouth,” Thokri said.

“Why did he become an adventurer if he just sits around the guild hall annoying people all day?” Anna asked.

“Guilds offer a lot of protection, and this one doesn’t require a trade or apprenticeship first,” Voekeer said.

“Aye, and a big lad like that can take a few guard jobs a month to get by,” Thokri said.

So, he’s just boring.

“What’s a skull contract?” Elaine asked.

“One where more than ten people have died,” Voekeer replied.

“So, does that mean ten adventurers or anyone?” Elaine asked.

“Anyone usually. The request comes in a skull,” Voekeer replied.

“I take it they pay more?” Elaine asked.

“Aye, much more,” Thokri replied. Elaine got a greedy look on her face.

She really likes coin.

“We’d better get to the market and stock up on supplies before the merchants raise the prices,” Voekeer said.

“Let’s get some food first,” Elaine replied. Anna waved over the barmaid.

“I want food,” she said. The others laughed.

“I bet you ate a whole plate of bacon before you came here,” Lyreen said.

“Maybe,” Anna replied. Barika sighed.

“Out of all of her abilities, that’s the one I want the most,” she said.

“What’s that?” Lyreen asked.

“To eat whatever and never get fat,” Barika replied. Lyreen and Elaine looked at Anna and sighed.

“Elves can get fat?” Anna asked.

“Yes. It just takes a lot of food,” Lyreen replied.

“Maybe you’d get an ass if you ate as many cupcakes as she does,” Elaine said.

“Not everyone wants a giant ass like yours,” Lyreen replied.

“MY ASS IS NOT GIANT!” Elaine yelled.

“Not this again,” Voekeer said. Both women turned to glare at him.

“You did it now, lad,” Thokri said.

“Look, I’m just saying that you both have nice rears,” Voekeer said.

“So, you were checking out her ass?” Lyreen asked.

“What? No, I just saw it while we were bathing, that’s all,” Voekeer replied.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Elaine said and winked at him. Lyreen looked shocked and Voekeer just swallowed hard.

“Barika has the best butt out of all of us,” Anna said. Everyone looked at her.

“Thank you, child,” Barika said smirking.

“Can we please stop talking about this?” Voekeer asked.

“I’m surprised you didn’t say you have the best one,” Lyreen replied, ignoring Voekeer’s pleas.

“I don’t, so why would I say I did?” Anna asked. Lyreen just looked at her.

“Not everyone is as conceited as you are,” Elaine said.

“I’m not conceited!” Lyreen replied. The others gave her a flat look. Other than Voekeer, who seemed to be studying the ceiling. Anna looked up as well to see what was up there.

Oh, that’s a big spider. She watched as it wrapped some unfortunate insect up to save for later.

When she looked back down, everyone was looking at her.

“There was a spider,” she said, pointing up. Everyone started to laugh.

“Oh, child. Never change,” Barika replied.

“But, I can’t,” Anna said. This caused everyone to laugh even harder.

Suddenly Elaine stopped laughing and went pale. She was staring at the entrance. Anna turned to look. A well-dressed man was looking right at Elaine.

He looks familiar, but I’ve never seen him before.

She studied him for a moment. His hair was brown and curly. It was cut fairly short, reminding her of the knights she’d seen. That wasn’t the only thing that reminded her of knights or other soldiers she’d met. He had broad shoulders and a narrow waist.

Her other friends were just as confused as she was. They kept looking at the man. He got to their table and looked down at Elaine with dark brown eyes.

“Richard?” Elaine asked. The man smiled.

“Is that any way to greet your eldest brother, little sister?” he asked.

 

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