I was lying in the tall grass, watching puffy clouds slowly sail through the blue sky, like little boats in the ocean. They were so beautiful and round, like whipped cream, ready to be eaten. I was hypnotized by them.
- Are you enjoying the view?
- Yes. I am.
- The weather is really nice. I love this soft, cool wind on my skin.
- Me too.
There was a movement to my right. I could hear the grass rustle, caressing the clothes of somebody coming my way, but I didn't look, with my eyes stuck to those clouds.
I caught a glimpse of a familiar fabric, and then Nadia kneeled over me, in her new dress, smiling.
- You look so handsome - she put her hand on my chest, slowly moving it upwards.
- You too... You are so pretty.
She smiled at me, then bit her lower lip.
- How about... How about we play here a bit? - she looked around. - We are alone. What do you think?
- Yes. I would really love that.
She smiled.
- You betrayed me! - a blade flashed in her hand, and before I could react she jammed it in my chest.
I jumped, hitting the bottom of the cart so hard, that the wood broke.
- Fuck...
Ki'rei transformed immediately to a wolf form, ready to jump, looking for an enemy, but there was nobody around.
I lied back on the ground, picking the splinters stuck in my forehead. I groaned while going about that. There was a little bit of blood left on my fingertips when I finished.
Ki'rei shifted to her original form.
- What happened? - she asked, still anxious. - Is someone attacking us?
- No... No... I just... I just had a bad dream.
- Bad dream?
- Yes.
- Vision from The Great One?
- What? No. Regular nightmare. Just go back to sleep.
She twisted her head a bit, looking at me curiously, then crawled from under the cart.
- Whare are you going?
- I'm doing reconnaissance.
- What? Why?
- Just to be sure.
I sighed. Now I had proof of how badly I messed up. Badly enough for my own subconscious to hunt me down for it.
- Congratulations Peter - I said to myself. - You really know how to fuck yourself over, don't you?
I crawled out and looked around at the tall trees, covered in the grey of the upcoming morning. I knew that hunting is something I desperately needed right then. Just to simply keep myself busy enough to not think. The thinking was bad. Thinking would put me on this spiral of self-hate.
I grabbed some food, and sat on the ground, keeping my eyes open for Ki'rei's return.
She froze for a moment, and I thought she will tell me something, but instead, she went and climbed on the cart, then grabbed something to eat for herself.
- Is there something wrong? - she asked suddenly after few bites of dried meat.
I hesitated with the answer.
- Yes...
- Tell me.
- You won't understand.
- Then explain.
I sighed and turned to face her, so I could look her straight in the eyes.
- Look... I did something I regret ok? And it's hunting me down. I just need time, to... To process it all, that's it.
- What did you do?
And that, right there, was a question I didn't want to answer.
- You are too young to understand.
- Too young? What does that mean?
- You are still a kid.
- I'm fully grown.
- A... Fine. I'll tell you, but you won't understand anyway... I had a person I really liked, loved, but she died.
- Nadia. I know her.
- Yes... Nadia. I did something with other women... I feel like I betrayed her.
- She is dead. How could you betray her then?
- What if she is alive in heaven, or even if not, then she still is alive in my head. In the memories, I have of her.
- In memories? You are so strange Peter. How can anybody be alive in memories?
- They can! You know how they were, you remember them! You know what they would say, if they were here, with you!
- No. What is in your head is something else. It's your picture of that person, not the real thing. You should stop thinking, and focus on hunting. At least you are good at it...
- What's that supposed to mean?
- It means you should go and get more crystals. You need to get stronger.
There was no point in arguing with them. Her thought process was completely different than mine, just as the value system.
I just stood up, summoned a shadow to pick up a pudao for me, and went to clear the vicinity while finishing the last few bites of food.
Then I headed to the den, grabbing a cart on the way. I cleared the guards on the outside and made my way underground. Rishi's tactic allowed me quickly deal with the bears and shadows picked the crystals in no time.
I still had most of the day and decided to use it to gain more. I did a pitstop to leave the cart with crystals, and grab a quick meal, then ran to the wolf's territory. I met Blue close to the cave entrance. I asked him to continue the deal we had. He wasn't too keen on that, but in the end, agreed, and I was able to kill the werewolf and gain another class point.
Then I finally returned to my camp. I was tired but happy about what I managed to accomplish. I was getting closer and closer to my goal despite everything that tried to slow me down. Both Rishi, and Hatta.
Ki'rei was waiting for me in Tam's form. I fed her some fruits, and ate myself, then crawled under the cart to get some sleep. Only time could fix how I felt about the things I did recently, and I was gonna spend that time hunting.
The day came to an end with 4 057 520 points remaining on my account, 256 bear crystals on one of my carts, and twenty-three class points.