Chapter 3: Chapter 2 – What The Hell Did I Unleash On That World?

  So, if you need a refresher on what happened in the last chapter, I killed myself, my cat killed itself, and now we’re both in mid-isekai right now complaining to the goddess.

  “What do you mean you don’t have wifi, what kind of a goddess are you?”

  “Meow nyah.”

  {You’re not supposed to be here for too long in the first place, and you better tell that cat to watch its tongue, this is a place of holiness!} 

  “Pebbles, we talked about this. You are not your uncle, so you shouldn’t talk like him either.”

  “M-Meow.” His head drooped adorably.

  The goddess’s expression froze when she saw this. I didn’t know what she was thinking about, but I’m guessing this was all a first for her. I didn’t want to make it too hard on her either, so I was willing to compromise.

  “Alright look, we’re not gonna do dial-up, that’s just disgusting, but how about cable internet?”

  {We’re not going to install cable internet wires in the Anima Palace!!!} Her face burned red with fury!

  “... Sooo, Fiber Optics then?”

  {Get out of here, I’m not going to reincarnate you any longer! And take your stupid cat with you!}

  “Why are you hating on Pebbles when this is called the Animal Palace? Me thinks you should be nicer.”

  Honestly, I couldn’t understand why she was fuming like a defective vacuum cleaner, but for lack of a better phrase ‘the dust was getting all over the place’.

  {It’s called the Anima Palace, not the Animal Palace!}

  “Listen, just give it a try, and I’m sure you’ll love it.”

  {Never! I will never ever, ever, ever, ever…}

  …

  {So why are there so many views for a cat playing the piano?}

  “I don’t know, but Pebbles is feeling it right now.”

  “Meow, meow.”

  “Enjoy your moment, Pebbles.”

  So in the end, we got Fiber Optics. It’s things like this that makes me wish we could just instantly reach the end result of an argument, but such is life I guess, or maybe lack of it for now.

  {The internet is so wondrous, the memes, the gifs, the anime, and finally, I know what isekai is! By the way, why is he okay with you calling him Pebbles all of a sudden?}

  “We talked it over and agreed that as we’re best friends and all, it would be okay. Of course, everyone else needs to call him Pebbles The Wondercat.”

  {That feels way too biased.}

  “So says the goddess that said he shouldn’t be here in the first place.”

  {Whatever, so what are you gonna do for now?}

  “Méow.”

  “As so eloquently put by Pebbles, we’ll be utilising the social drug known as the internet to learn about every single thing that could help in an isekai and cultivation situation to our advantage. We will then maximise said advantages based on our situation and circumstances to be as OP as possible and wreck the rules of everything in said world as a good isekai should be.”

  {Wait, he said all of that?}

  When I heard her question, I looked at her like some kind of idiot. Did she not notice the accent over the ‘e’? The complexity of feline vernacular doesn’t sit well with everyone I see. I tell you, goddesses, these days.

  “Anyway, since I need to go about bringing pre-isekai world technology into the isekai world, I will hew from the internet the very resources that will grant me this knowledge.”

  {D-Do you mean you will be spamming encyclopaedias, documentaries and the historical evolution of technology from your world!? B-Because if you are, I may have misjudg-}

  “The heck are you on about? I’m gonna read a kingdom-building manga and some OP protags slice of life anime to go with it. I was getting into this one called release that wit...”

  {Dear me, what am I unleashing into that world?}

  “Meow.”

  “... Pebbles, where are you learning these words? We only had the internet for like half an hour.”

  …

  So here’s the gist of it. I got tired of trying to memorise everything I read on my own and made the goddess give me supreme photographic memory. If you’re not familiar with the term, it’s because I just made it up.

  Long story short, I took the initiative to watch and read a doodoo load of stuff that I think would help me in the next world, so not only mangas and anime stuff after all.

  You’d be wondering how did I watch everything so fast. Well, here’s my reasoning… loli goddess. Now that we got that out of the way, it’s time for what I need.

  {Seriously, I just think that with everything you’re doing here. Rules are being broken in one way or another.}

  “You should be telling me, after all, you’re the goddess here. Anyway, I’m ready now.”

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  {O-Okay, now close your eyes.}

  “... Okay.”

  Whoosh!! Da-Dum!! Fwissshh!!!

  I could feel a weird gale surrounding my body as the knowledge about the other world flooded into my brain.

  At the same time, I could feel and hear (which was pretty disgusting by the way) all the bones in my body cracking and giving off popping sounds, as if I was being reconstructed. Wait, did souls have bones? Well, whatever, I don’t care.

  Anyway, by the time I get over there, I can safely say fudge every cultivator in that world for life.

  Tttssssss…

  I could feel the gale dying down, so I guess it was over. I opened my eyes and could tell, apart from another language that I just instantly learned, as well as basic knowledge about the other world, everything else felt exactly the same.

  “Hm, is that it? Feels pretty anticlimactic.”

  “Meow.”

  “You said it Pebbles, what gives?”

  {Listen Long Di, you and Pebbles over ther-}

  “Meow!”

  “Pebbles The Wondercat,” I had to correct her.

  {... Pebbles The Wondercat over here has been changed, well, the spirit for you anyway. You’ll feel it take effect once you get reincarnated. You technically have a dantian now and a bunch of other stuff.}

  “Oh sweet, so let’s go over the checklist then for me and Pebbles, trauma prevention initiative?”

  {Done.}

  “Rare Bloodline, that’s practically a cheat?”

  {Done.}

  “More than a suitable cultivator’s body?”

  {Done.}

  “Either ungodly or unholy talent in alchemy, forging, cultivation (obviously) oh, and just about everything else?”

  {Done.}

  “Unnaturally good luck?”

  {Done.}

  “Inability to die?”

  {NO!}

  “Darn, well, can’t blame a guy for trying.”

  “Skill that makes me look cool?”

  {Useless, but still done.}

  “I’m thinking that’s all we need. Thanks, you can send me and Pebbles off now.”

  {Wait! In return for the abilities I gave you, you said you’d tell me what happens at the end of that series with the highschool and the zombies.}

  O_O

   “I-I, I’ll tell you if you finish the pirate one next. (That should give me some time.)”

  {You!! Fine! Don’t forget your promise, I’m sending you off now.}

  Fwoooosh!!

  I could feel the winds whipping around me, and the image of the palace of light with wifi was now disappearing.

  “Meow!”

  “You said it, Pebbles. I’m excited too. Next stop, Isekai cultivation world. I’m gonna be hella broken and laugh in the face of logic, just like homeless people.”

  When the winds stopped, the goddess was surrounded by silence and a serious sense of foreboding.

  {What the hell did I just unleash on that world?}

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