Chapter Thirty Two
Birthday Girl

 

In the history of the English language, it is a universal constant that the song ‘Happy Birthday’ is sung out of tune. There are several reasons for this. The first is that, as songs go, it’s easy for two people to start on a different key. Anyone who has ever attempted to play an instrument will tell you that playing one song in two keys is like trying to drink from two cups at the same time (sans straw). It’s messy, inefficient, and will leave you looking and feeling silly. 

The second reason is that on the third repeat of “Happy Birthday to you”, there is an ascending leap across an entire octave, which even professional singers will tell you is tricky. It requires not only control over one’s voice, but also a good ear. It’s very hard to do, and if you’re just a little bit off, it’ll drag the rest of the song down (or up) with it. 

The final and most important reason is that ‘Happy Birthday’ only sounds right when you sing it out of key. If more than two people are singing it, it is traditional for one of them to be singing it wrong. If all three are professional singers, or if there is an entire choir of practised vocallists, the universe will conspire to make sure the whole thing sounds like a cacophonous wall of noise that you can only smile awkwardly at. 

Emily was happy she was currently a cat. She was very, very bad at sitting still while what felt like the entire student body sang at her in the common room. Not having to sit and smile awkwardly was a blessing, at least. As soon as she’d walked in, Sarah had asked if she could blindfold her, to which she had reluctantly agreed. 

As it turned out, that had meant putting a sock over her head, because that had been easier than trying to make a blindfold for a cat. She’d sat in nervous silence while people moved around her, until the blindfold had been revealed and the singing had started, and she sort of wished for the nervous silence again. 

With a final “-Tooooo Youuuuuu” that was not at all dissimilar to the sound of a bag of cats being swung around at high velocity, the choir finally stopped. Immediately, people walked over to congratulate her individually. Jenna was the first, of course, scratching her between the ears.

“I am so proud of you. Just… yeah. It’s so exciting and cool and just… You’re going to be amazing, Emily,” Jenna said. “I’m so proud to be your witch.”

“Thank you,” Emily sniffled and pressed her face against Jenna’s arm, only partly to hide the fact that she was crying a bit. 

Then, everyone else wanted to come over for birthday wishes too. Since she was a cat, that usually meant Witches, Warlocks and Wizards high-fived her, because cats are better at that than shaking. Dennis put his paw on her head, so Emily returned the gesture. Sarah gently nudged her with her nose and just winked. Everyone else just gave her the forehead-bonks cats are so good at. The final exception was Simon, who solemnly hopped over to her and shoved his entire face into her ear, whispering “happy bappy.” When that was finally over and done with, her friends and classmates demanded that she stay seated, and the first present was put in front of her.

“Nope,” Emily said, “nu-uh.” She jumped off the chair. Her anxiety was spiking and she didn’t know why. She did know she didn’t get presents, presents were bad somehow. It was a transaction in which she wasn’t contributing. A gift was like a box of guilt with a bow on it. She tried to jump off the chair, and found herself stopped in mid-air, hanging in front of a very smug-looking Arctic Fox. “You monster,” she mumbled to Sarah.

“Get back here!” Simon shouted from across the table.

“Just sit down, nerd,” Sarah said as she lowered Emily back into her seat. “You deserve to get presents on your birthday.” She leaned in a little closer so only Emily could hear her. “You’re allowed to have this.”

“But I’ve never—” Emily started, immediately interrupted by Sarah.

“I know. Charlie told me. That doesn’t mean it’s not allowed. Your friends care about you, Emily. Let them.” Sarah’s words bounced around Emily’s head. She was right. Probably. That didn’t make the anxiety go away, of course, or the guilt. She hadn’t done anything to deserve presents! It was bad enough that people like Erinna and Sylvie were there, who she had barely interacted with, but it was even worse that Sarah and Simon had apparently also contributed. Dennis and Jacob and Benjamin and Leah and how many people were there?! She owed them so much! The idea that they’d… Her thoughts were interrupted by a large paw falling on her face. “Stop,” Sarah said. “I can see those gears turning. You’re thinking yourself into a hole you won’t be thinking yourself out of. People care. There’s a couple of boxes with stuff in it and that’s your stuff now. That’s all there is to it.”

“Mew,” Emily said and looked at the box. It wasn’t a very large box, but it looked fancy, with a big yellow bow on it and expensive-looking paper. She moved it a little closer and tugged at the ribbon with her telekinesis. It’d be easy to ask someone to do it for her, but she realised this was probably good practice. Carefully, focussing, she undid the knot, unfurling it. There were a few quiet oohs and ahs as the other kids realised that she was untying it all at once, something most of them didn’t have the finesse for yet. 

“You look really cute when you stick your tongue out like that,” Sarah said in her ear. 

“H-hey!” Emily squeaked just as she undid the packaging, and was immediately distracted by the contents of the box. “No way.” She carefully lifted the lid. “No. Way.” Inside the small box was something Emily had never really considered having. Well, not one of her own, anyway, and certainly not anytime soon. It felt almost decadent to consider that it was something she was allowed to have. 

“Happy b-” Simon said as he fell off the table in his excitement and much to everyone’s delight. “Ha-” he tried again, bouncing off the side of the table on his second attempt. Benjamin picked him up and put him, still bouncing, on the table. “Happy birthday!“ Simon said, and war-danced his way over. “Like it?!”

“I… I can’t accept this,” Emily said. “It’s too much. It’s gotta be so expensive!”

“Nah,” Jacob said. He stood close to a very proud and happy-looking Jenna. “The school actually has a fund for things students might need, and I requested we could dip into it a little earlier. You’re seventeen now, which is close enough. And for everything else the rest of just put money together. You’d be amazed how cheap things get when you get ten people to chip in.” Jenna nodded.

“But… but…” Emily attempted to protest.

“Just enjoy the new phone, dumbass,” Simon said, and nudged her nose with her own. “Think of it as an investment. If something happens, we can actually stay in touch! Well, when we’re not in the middle of nowhere, anyway.” 

Emily carefully lifted the piece of black plexiglass out of its box and held it up. There was something strange about it. She could feel the magic on it. “What’s… is it enchanted?”

Jacob nodded. “Courtesy of Lalonde. Your telekinetic fingerprint has already been enchanted so you can use it when you’re a cat, too.”

“Holy cr—” Emily started, then saw Dennis looking excited and quickly changed direction. “-crabapples.” The room went silent.

“Seriously?” Simon said with his eyebrows raised. Emily nodded at Dennis.

“There’s kids nearby.”

“Crap!” Dennis barked happily.

“He’s thirteen, not six. He’ll be fine,” Simon said. “C’mon, you have more presents!”

“Oh noooo,” Emily groaned as another box was put down in front of her. There were several boxes people were hiding behind their backs, and it took a gentle bap on her head from Sarah to keep the bad thoughts from sinking back in.

In the end, it wasn’t that bad. There were a bunch of smaller gifts, like a scarf, some chocolate snacks, and a cute beret that, according to Jacob and Jenna, would shift with her when she went from Human to Cat and back. Of course, that was immediately planted on her head. After that, an outrageously large cake was put in front of her that had been made with help from Melissa the cook, and was quickly devoured by everyone present. 

As the party stopped being centred exclusively around Emily and she got to go around and thank people for their gifts, the anxiety slowly died down and she started to actually enjoy herself. Apparently, Jacob had some small speakers, and his outrageously bad taste in music bounced off the walls along with the conversations. 

Simon nudged her as she walked past him. “Come with me for a moment?” Emily nodded and followed along, just outside the door. It was raining, so they just sat under the canopy and listened to the rain clattering on the gravel. “I just wanted to talk to you for a moment,” Simon said, uncharacteristically serious. 

“What’s up?” Emily asked. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” he replied. “Not really, no. But I wanted to… explain? I guess?” He shuffled a little closer to her, his little form warm against her fur. “When you… turned back. Yknow, after the thing…” He was clearly having trouble talking about what’d happened in town, and Emily was not in the mood to push the issue. “It was weird.”

“Why?” Emily asked. “I don’t know, I feel like I’m still the same person. Why would that be a problem?” She genuinely didn’t understand. 

“Like, I know that, on the surface. In my head I know you’re still the same person. But like… I thought… I just… I thought…” He seemed to get very small, and Emily gently put a paw on his head. “I just thought you were cute.”

“A,” Emily said, once again glad for the fact that she was a cat and couldn’t blush.

“Like… before,” Simon continued. “When I thought you were a boy.”

“I… oh.”

“Yeah.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault. I still think you’re cute but it’s different and… I just… Can we just be friends? Like, like we talked about before?” Emily nodded. “I just… I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” Emily said. “I like you too.”

“Yeah but… I need time, you know?” Emily nodded again, a slight pit in her stomach. “Not that I’m going anywhere, but it’s gonna take me a bit to let go of, well, who I thought you were.” 

“As long as you’re not leaving,” Emily said, and very gently pushed her nose on the top of his head. He made a very slight squeaking sound. 

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“I’m going back inside,” he said, “because I need cake. You, uh,  you should stay outside for a little bit.” With that he dooked off, excited again, leaving a confused Emily sitting on the porch, until Sarah stepped through the door. 

“Hey you,” she said.

“Hi,” Emily said. “Are… did you and Simon coordinate this talk? Because that’s a very weird birthday present if it is.”

“We sort of did,” Sarah said sheepishly. “We… had some feelings in common.” 

“If you’re going to tell me that you didn’t think who you thought I was and that you used to think I was cute when I was…” For some reason, it was really hard to get her old name out there. It felt almost like a slur, something dirty. “When I was him… I already got that from Simon.”

“No, not like that, no,” Sarah said and sat down next to her, giving her a nudge. “I mean, I could relate a little bit. I mean, you are cute. You’re still cute. I like you.”

“I like you too, Sarah,” Emily said.

“I mean I like you - like you.”

“Ah. Um,” Emily said. “I don’t think I can be your boyfriend, Sarah.”

“I figured as much,” Sarah said with a sage nod. 

“I don’t think I’m a boy.”

“I don’t think so either.”

Emily pawed at her head. There was a lot of noise, but a few thoughts were crystal clear. “I think I’m a girl. But not like… not just on the outside. But a real, actual girl.”

“Yeah, I think so too,” Sarah said. “And I like you.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t… um… Can I say something weird?”

Emily chuckled. “I think we’re past that. Go for it.”

“I don’t… know if I like girls. I’ve never really thought about it like that. I’ve had crushes on boys before, and I’ve never liked a girl. But I like you,” Sarah said. She seemed to be struggling with her words, and Emily couldn’t tell if that was because of confusion or because she wanted to avoid hurting her feelings.

“Do you think that might be a problem?”

“I don’t know!” Sarah said, exasperated. “I don’t know if this is going to go away or if it’s just for you or if I was always into girls or if this is all going to blow up in my face when I find a boy who’s really my type or… uuuugh.”

“So what are you saying?” Emily asked.

“Well… that kind of depends on how you feel.”

“Well, I like you - like you too, but I don’t want to put you in that kind of spot, but—”

“Then yeah, I think I’d like to try to… um… this. Whatever that is. Um. Yeah.”

“Even if that means that it might go away at some point if you realise you’re not into girls?” Emily asked. 

“Yeah, I think so. Is that okay?”

“I think so.”

“This is weird.

“It really is. Nobody’s ever asked me to be their girlfriend before.”

“I’ve never asked someone to be my girlfriend.”

“I don’t know what to do next,” Emily said.

“I don’t either.”

“Wanna find out together?”

“Yeah.” Emily felt herself purring, and Sarah scooted a little closer.

“Oh!” Sarah said. “Almost forgot! I got you a present too.”

“You shouldn’t have,” Emily baulked, but Sarah nudged her with a paw.

“Hush.” She floated a small piece of paper in front of her. “Leah and Jenna made it together. In case this conversation went well. It’s a little spell.”

“What does it do?” 

The piece of paper slowly drifted to the ground. There were two circles on it. “Put your paw on it,” Sarah said. Emily did as she was told, and Sarah followed suit. Suddenly, they were face to face. Face to Human face. “Emily?” Sarah said, eyes level with Emily’s.

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

Now that all the weirdness of the conversation was behind them, the butterflies finally had time to bubble out of the morass of anxiety, and fluttered happily around her stomach. Emily nodded, bit her lip, and smiled. “Yeah. Do you wanna be mine?”

“I do.” They stood there for a second, until Sarah took a step forward and awkwardly put one hand on Emily’s hip, then the other. “Can, um… can I…”

“Yeah,” Emily said, and gently put a hand on Sarah’s face. “You can.”

Sarah kissed her. It was awkward and perfect.