Chapter 1: Ch.1- Boring

I love fast food, I mean, it's just so convenient.

Tasty or not, it does its job. You can eat it and then go on with your life.

My mother used to critic my tastes, saying that 'as a girl you should take care of your weight'.

Bullshit. I should take care of my happiness, mom! And fast food makes me happy.

Just like fast food, I love fast easy stories for the same reason. It satisfies me enough and can even keep me entertained of this shitty, stressful life.

That's why I love stupid stories with dumb edgy overpowered virgin MC and one dimensional characters. Stories with a clear hero and villain are my jamb.

I love them so much, in particular isekai. The more trash, the better.

Or at least that's what I thought...

'My next life as the saint' Is your typical  r-19 otome isekai visual novel with a girl that reincarnates as a saint.

When I bought it, I was expecting an over-powered female protagonist, who would get her revenge against all those powerful men, and fuck them all, in all the senses of the word.

I was expecting, not only a Mary Sue, but the Mary Sue.

Fuck, I was exited.

I couldn't wait to play another shitty ass story with the same black haired male lead who didn't train in his whole life and somehow was the UNIT.

But!

Instead, I got an under powered, depressed girl who couldn't archive anything at all. Moreover, all the characters from the game took every possible moment to remember her how useless she is.

I was pissed!

'Wtf was this?' I thought.

I knew I shouldn't have taken a game with so many good reviews...

Yet, this thing...awoken something in me.

Was it a passion for good storytelling? Maybe it was a taste for iconic characters with gray personalities?

No...that wasn't it...it was...

A fetish.

A fetish for crying people, whether they are boys or girls, I loved to see them cry and suffer. It was hot and sexy (though if they are hot guys, better).

Each time the protagonist NTR one of the Ml, I felt like laughing in his face.

And this have never happened to me.

I don't like NTR. I think you gotta be a weirdo to actually enjoy seeing someone getting cheated.

Yet, in this game, I will do it all the time.

It was fucking funny seeing their faces when all the party got wiped out by the demon lord, because I didn't move at all the whole fight.

Since the game was so well-made and so realistic, the characters actually realize if you are messing with them, so I had to role-play the whole story just to get to that moment and hearing them call me 'traitor!'.

Lmao, even the demon lord was shocked when I killed the Ml from behind.

Beyond the troll routes that I usually take, the standard ending is the protagonist being useless the whole game, which makes impossible to save the world.

I heard that there is a true ending, but I don't care about that one, because it's a happy one.

Seeing all the characters cry and scream for 18 hours of gameplay is the best. Like bro, I never thought I could actually love a well written game, but here we are.

If possible, I would like to experience it in first person... Not in the body of the protagonist but, instead, as a spectator.

If I ask God to reincarnate me in the game, will he do it?

"God, can you please please please reincarnate me into the game as an overpowered character"

"..."

"Please, God, I'm begging you."

"..."

"If you don't, I'm gonna fart hyper loud"

"..."

Well, then I guess I-

Uh-h where I am?

I was about to fart, but then suddenly my environment changed completely. I'm now in a white place with some furniture here and there, overall very plain.

Furthermore, I'm in a baby crib? What the hell happened?? My arms are so small.

Around me, I can see some women in the distance with your typical fantasy maid costumes talking with each other. Two notice that I was watching them, and then headed towards me.

They look like titans, holy they are massive.

Please don't eat me~

"Ssim pu ekaw uoy did?"

Tf did she said? Couldn't understand a word.

Whatever. Where I am?

Don't tell me, did god hear me?

Did I reincarnate?

Fuck yeah! I knew that farting was going to work. Now let's enjoy my new life by starting with...

Mm...What now?

What do protagonist do when they get reborn...should I begin training in secret or something?

Well, let's do that in the meantime, until I become an adult.

***

Booooooring.

You are reading story Archmage? Me? Cool at novel35.com

I have been here for already 1 year l! 1 motherfucking year! Doing nothing at all other than training (maybe it wasn't 1 year. I don't remember).

I hate this place. For some reason, these people don't take me out for a walk or anything.

I just stay here and the only thing I do is shit or sleep.

I don't like this world anymore.

I can't understand anything of what the people here are talking about.

Moreover, the food here sucks.

Like, seriously, I can't believe how much this country lack good food.

For example, there's no hamburgers, or pizza, or fries.

Even the bread is terrible.

Oh, and the milk is sour.

Seriously, wtf is wrong with these people?

I don't even know how can they eat this thing.

If it wasn't for my 'training' I would have gone crazy already.

I mean, I call it 'training' but it's basically ejecting mana into the air or making a form with it.

How do I know how to use it? Idk, but I'm sure that I'm a genius cause all the people around me don't have any mana at all, I can't tell thanks to my magic eyes which I got for no reason.

I don't feel like doing anything else than training.

Training, training, training.

Training, training, training.

Training, training, training.

Again, again, and fucking again.

I'm tired of this, I wanna live!

I wanna explore this world!

I wanna eat something other than bread and milk!

I want to go outside!

Fuck, I really want to go outside! And touch grass!

I never thought I would say this but! I need nature!

I'm so bored!!

Why God? Why did you make my life so boring?

I can't stand this anymore...can we please have a time skip or something!

Pleaseeeee...............

***

I woke up in the usual white room. Laying in my crib as usual. As usual, I rolled over to my side, and just started training as usual. Another usual day I gues-

Wait? Don't tell me!

Is that! No, I can't believe it!?

This cannot be true!?

Is this....?????

A-aah

Another normal day....

As always, I trained, ate bread, and went back to sleep. I don't know how they do it, but the bread keeps getting worse and worse. What a talent they have.

I wonder how long has it's been? 4 years? I guess I'm 5 now.

Now I can talk and walk and do all the thing a normal 5-year-old girl can do. It's not that much of use to me since I can't get out of here and the maids (except for one) are replaced every month, which is insane. Like why?

Why can't I go out, and why are the maids being replaced? It's because I'm ugly?

Well fuck.

What type of standards do these people have, because when I see myself in the mirror I look hella pretty.

Anyway, I guess I'll just train harder. And wait until the main story begins. I assume that I'm in the game world, so I will wait until then while chilling.

I won't train my physique, though, because I don't care about any martial arts or anything. I just want magic cause that's cooler.

By the way, today I stopped hiding myself when I train magic. Now the maids look at me with faces like 'OMG she is so powerful and stuff like that'.

I'm cool, aren't I~?

"Amazing... As expected of the daughter of Belgus-sama! We need to report this!" The nurse that is always with me said.

Belgus, who that? My father? Wait, isn't he from the game?

That ultra rich hot mage which you can get in as partner and that I always NTR? That one?

That bring me memories, that guy has like 18 espouses and still wanted to marry me, I loved to fuck him in both senses. He is an asshole, not that I'm the most indicated person to talk...

So... I'm one of his daughters, huh. Since the bread here suck, I guess I'm not that important.

If I'm not wrong, we are part of the Itakaki family that values strength before all, so my life is already decided isn't it. I'm overpowered after all~

Can't wait for the main story to start, I want to see the protagonist suffer!

Finally, things are starting to get interesting! About damn time.

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