Chapter 26: Chapter TWENTY SIX

The next day soon came to her greatest misfortune. The blonde had been having a particularly hard time sleeping that night, her mind imagining a thousand and one scenarios of how their next encounter might go wrong. Swallowing breakfast had been complicated by her lack of appetite, and she had had trouble concentrating on her reading all morning.

Mia had therefore warned Ethan in the middle of the morning that she had decided to leave her room for a short walk towards the beginning of the afternoon and she was now nervously awaiting his response. She would have liked to postpone this confrontation as much as possible, but it was useless, especially since her anxiety only increased as the day passed.

She had turned the situation around in her head several times and always came to the same conclusion: to remain stubborn would not make her life less complicated. If they could at least maintain friendly relations, the prospect of having him on her heels as soon as she set foot outside the infirmary would no longer seem so off-putting to her.

Yet... The question of her humanity remained a huge point of contention between the two. He had told her that he didn't mind anymore, but she didn't trust his words. Especially since she still had trouble digesting that he could hate humans in the first place. And then there were his little sarcastic remarks that particularly pissed her off. Sooner or later, she was going to have to lay her cards on the table and start this discussion if she wanted to override their current relationship status. Seemed like it was time to lean towards "early".

A small voice in the back of her head also whispered to her that she was terrified of reenacting the picnic scene. If he hadn't stopped her, how far would she have gone? That was a problem she couldn't solve by just talking, which made it even more nerve-wracking. It was also one of the reasons why she had locked herself in her room for so long.

She sighed at the task that was rightfully hers when an answer appeared on the parchment.

"I have class in the early afternoon. Late morning or late afternoon?"

"Class? What do they teach to Vilas?"

"Anthropology this morning. It's supposed to help us develop a network."

Mia had to admit that she had never been interested in the educational planning of the Vilas, especially since Ethan had never broached the subject. She had assumed that they didn't have class since they were there to find their soul mate. Her ignorance about them was hardly surprising, however. Once she had understood this story of bonding, she completely lost interest in the subject. Especially when it involved Ethan.

She hesitated a few minutes on the answer she was going to give him. The end of the afternoon seemed to her to sum up with "endless waiting and perpetual anguish", but the end of the morning made her extremely nervous since she would have to throw herself into the lion's mouth in less than two hours.

Finally, she decided not to answer him immediately, preferring first to relax for a few tens of minutes. She had one book left to read from the pile Lily had brought her earlier in the week, and the distraction seemed perfect right now. She grabbed it and opened the first page to read the summary inside:

"Greya is a Human Union fighter, Kayn is a Vila actively involved in the slaughter of the young woman's congeners. Everything seems to oppose them. However, at the end of a battlefield, they meet and discover that they are soul mates. Cornelian choices will be imposed on them. Can their love transcend the war between their two peoples? 

Inspired by real events."

"Nope, nope, nope," Mia repeated, putting the book down and cursing Lily. "She did it on purpose, I'm sure of it!"

It wasn't that the book didn't sound interesting. She enjoyed a good romance and it seemed like another source of information on those famous wars before the genocide of humans. It was above all that the situation of the protagonists resonated far too much with hers. She wasn't ready to read a love story with characters she could far too easily identify with Ethan and herself.

Neither one nor two, she grabbed her pen and replied to the Vila that as soon as possible suited her perfectly. Without possible distraction, it was better to stop delaying the moment.

The scroll didn't resonate with new words as a result of her message. Mia settled in her bed while waiting since she only had that left to do. Fifteen minutes later, while she was still wondering if he had read her answer, a knock got her out of her thoughts.

He really came to get me that fast? she wondered as waves of stress rippled through her body.

Taking a long breath to catch herself later, Mia opened the door to find that her guess was correct. A slight grimace escaped her. She hadn't expected him to take her at her word.

"You said as soon as possible," he explained, shrugging his shoulders.

"You... True. Let's go," she said, deciding that there was no point in getting into this battle.

Especially with the one coming up in a few minutes.

They headed for the edge of the forest in silence, Ethan following Mia as she walked slowly. She was trying somehow to hide her nervousness, but the Vila's silence only reinforced her feeling of unease. They were supposed to walk around, but the blonde's mind just couldn't take in the landscape of flower gardens that the academy territory offered.

Arriving at the tree she had used as a chair back last week, she sat down, taking a deep breath. Ethan quickly imitated her to prevent her from again giving him a belittling order as she had been able to do the last time. Before she decided to speak, he preceded her, visibly more impatient than her.

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"Okay, what is it? Is it because of Sunday? I know very well it wasn't you, no need to worry about that."

She sighed, considering her answer for a moment. Beating around the bush would just prolong his ordeal.

"Listen, I've had a lot of time to think about... all that. I think we should at least try to get along. I know it's not what you expect, but we could be...friends, if not anything else," she offered, grimacing at the word 'friends'.

Even for her, it was evident that the term sounded bad. Ethan's eyebrows shot up to the ceiling and an indignant pout plastered his face. She mentally punched herself, immediately regretting having had the crazy idea to use that particular word. She could already tell by the way the Vila's lapis lazuli eyes darkened that she had just thrown gasoline on a brazier.

"Are you fucking serious? My life is on the line and you want us to be friends? Ignoring me, throwing orders at me, and glaring at me, don't you think it's already complicated for me? Having to watch you, follow you around like a little dog, knowing you're gonna let me die? And you think being friends will make it better?"

"Surely better than now! You talk about yourself, but we're in the same shit, I remind you! It's not easy for me either, but at least I'm trying!" she screamed, annoyance gaining her as well.

"Not easy for you? Are you fucking kidding me? Your friends pamper you and you have a guard dog, what's not easy?! My god, you just have no idea-

Mia jumped to her feet, fists clenched, before cutting him off:

"Then talk! Instead of being sarcastic all the time, explain it to me!"

"Because you let me talk, maybe? Do you think I feel like talking when you're ignoring me or yelling orders at me all the time?" he retorted, standing up as well, shaking with rage.

Mia cringed involuntarily at the Vila's fury. She knew he couldn't technically hurt her, but he was still scary. Still, she wasn't ready to let go. She still had a few questions to ask, and now seemed like a moment like any other.

"Maybe if you didn't hate what I am, it would be better! Why do you hate humans? Because we're inferior? Because we're just little bugs in your eyes?"

Mia's head was starting to spin. Her breathing was erratic with anger and the pheromones the Vila gave off were intoxicating. The dose seemed especially important when he was emotionally gripped.

"Because you are weak! Dozens of Vilas withered away when their human soul mates died in the war! My brother died defending humans! Because you and all your allies got crushed! Do you know what it's like to lose your soul mate for a Vila? It's a long agony of several weeks during which you gradually lose all will to live to end up sinking into madness and letting yourself die! A death you wouldn't even wish on your worst enemy!"

Mia was beginning to ease back into tension as Ethan's words forced their way into her mind. Realization hit her as he breathed heavily after her tirade, washed out.

He is afraid. He is terrified of suffering the same fate.

"But the war is over," she replied gently, "no one is going to try to kill us."

She had said that to reassure him, but she knew it was a lie she didn't believe herself. After the fireball episode and the student's warning in the hall, something told her that she was clearly not immune to further mishaps and that Ethan was right to protect her.

He sighed, relaxing slightly. The time was no longer for howls. He approached until he was only a few centimeters away from the blonde and gently placed his palms on her cheeks.

"You know very well that's not true," he said plaintively, gazing into hers.

She felt like she was drowning, her muscles turning to cotton under his silky touch. Her eyes landed on the Vila's lips, regardless of her mind which was slowly beginning to panic at the thought of no longer having control over her body. Ethan brought his head closer, unconsciously responding to the young woman's call.

Mia looked up to give him a pleading look when their lips were only millimeters apart. She wasn't ready for their relationship to evolve in that direction yet. Not today, not after what she had just learned. She needed to take a step back, to think about all this.

Ethan quickly understood her silent complaint and took two steps away with a sigh.

"Let's go back," he suggested, running his hand through his hair, resigned.

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