Chapter 62: CH 61

Chapter 61 – Reminiscence

My parents passed away in an accident, and with no relatives to take me in, I started living in the orphanage back when I was 8 years old. Being somewhat more mature than the other kids around me, I had a hard time adapting to the environment of the orphanage. None of them were worse off than me anyway. How could they dare to laugh at me?

As if I was pretending to be the protagonist of a tragic drama, I was always alone, rejecting all the brats who tried to get closer to me. I was such a cocky little shit, but there was one person who patiently reached out to me.

“Aren’t you tired of being alone by now? I’ll show you aaaall the fun things out there!”

My first impression of her was that she was an annoying girl.

Her name was Katsuragi Tomoe.

She was fourteen years old, the oldest girl at the orphanage, and she always had a smile on her face. She would try to get me to play with her at every opportunity she got, and I eventually gave in because she was so persistent.

At first, I continued to refuse her, but after she kept on dragging me around against my will, I started to slowly make contact with other people. Before I knew it, I gradually began to open my heart to them. According to the staff of the orphanage, this was a phenomenon known as ‘Tomoe Magic’.

They always said that no matter how tough the kid was, Tomoe could get them to naturally fit in with the others. I couldn’t say anything about it, since I was one of those people who had witnessed her magic at work.

Being by Tomoe’s side always felt warm and comfortable like the sun. As a little form of rebellion, I started calling her a little trickster, but Tomoe didn’t seem to mind.

(TL: Instead of ‘trickster’, the word being used is ‘人たらし – hitotarashi’ which could either mean a scam, con artist and the like, or it could refer to a flirt/player. It usually refers to someone who is a smooth talker who can easily get others to trust them.)

On the contrary, she would always say with a smile on her face in front of the other kids, ‘as long as we can all get along, everything is fine’.

Then one day, a new kid came in.

That was Ryudou Eiichi.

At the time, he had been scrawny and thin, with many scars on his body from the abuse he had endured, completely unlike he was now. Perhaps that was why he didn’t trust people… Rather, he was afraid of people.

Tomoe patiently looked after him, who had been an even more troublesome existence than me. However, Ryudou was obstinate about turning her away. He was far worse than I had ever been, and even the staff members were ready to give up on him.

Just when I thought that Tomoe’s magic might not work this time, a typhoon hit Japan. There were terrifying storms sweeping about outside when Ryudou was discovered to be missing from the orphanage.

At that time, Tomoe ran out of the orphanage alone to look for Ryudou. I couldn’t leave her alone, so I followed after her. Eventually, we found Ryudou.

But at that time, we discovered Ryudou pinned underneath a tree that had been uprooted by the gusting winds. Tomoe immediately rushed out to save him.

In the process of saving Ryudou, Tomoe received an injury on her face. When Ryudou saw this, he finally understood that she was there to protect him, so he hugged her and cried in her arms.

From that on, Ryudou became very attached to Tomoe, as if she were his fawning mother.

Incidentally, he also started to look up to me as his older brother after I came with Tomoe to look for him on the day the typhoon hit. But we were the same age, so I had told him not to call me his older brother.

Rather than a mother, Tomoe always treated us more like an older sister. At times, she would spoil us, but at other times she would scold us as she guided us and showed us how to live.

Since she had saved me from my misfortune and was always by my side, I started to feel a bit attracted to her. And it was the same for Ryudou, too.

""

When we found out that we both had feelings for Tomoe, our relationship turned into a good-hearted rivalry. We would compete over and over to see who could win Tomoe’s heart.

Each time, Tomoe would scold us for fighting though. Then on the same day, we each confessed our feelings to Tomoe.

It was the winter of our first year of high school, around Christmas time. In the end, Tomoe ended up choosing me. Ryudou, who had been rejected, cried bitter tears, but he still gave us his best wishes.

“If it’s you, I can trust you to take care of Tomoe. Make sure you make her happy. Promise?”

Responding to Ryudou’s words, I looked him straight in the eyes and said, “I promise. A man won’t go back on what he says!”

Ryudou was my younger brother, my best friend, and my good rival. That’s why I was honestly happy that he had acknowledged me. Even if Tomoe had chosen him, I was sure that I would have been able to congratulate him and give him my best wishes as well.

That was how much we had acknowledged one another. And I thought… that bond would continue to last forever.

But then―that incident happened.

It was the winter of our sophomore year of high school. Strangely enough, on Christmas day. Tomoe was murdered.

—

Three days before Christmas, I was consulting with Ryudou about what gift I should give to Tomoe to commemorate the first anniversary of our relationship. I tried to think about it by myself, but I wasn’t good at giving gifts. At most, I had only ever bought a birthday present for Tomoe. At that time, I had been too embarrassed to ask anyone else for advice.

According to Ryudou, a surprise would be good because it was our anniversary. Ryudou said that women like surprises. I didn’t know if this was true or not, but I fully trusted Ryudou’s advice since he was more popular than me.

""

However, the present didn’t have to be elaborate. He told me that the presentation was the most important part. So as a gift, I decided on a ring, which I bought with the money that I had earned from my part-time job.

All that remained was to decide on how to give it to her. I had already made reservations at a Japanese inn and was ready to go on a trip for two days and one night. Or rather, it was Ryudou who had made all the arrangements.

And then―on Christmas day.

Tomoe, who was already independent and living alone at the time, had agreed to go on the trip beforehand. The two of us took the train, and we had ourselves a good time on our first trip together.

Tomoe was delighted with everything that she saw and ate, and I thought the trip was a great success. We headed to a cove near the inn where we could see the ocean. It was there that I handed her the ring and proclaimed loudly, “Please marry me!”

Or so I planned to.

I was still a kid, and a student at that, so I was legally unable to marry at the time. If others around me had heard about it, they would have probably asked me what I was going on about, but Ryudou encouraged me to be honest about my feelings.

Even if marriage wasn’t possible right away, it was still possible to get engaged. Rather, Tomoe, who had common sense, would surely refuse. But if I were to lower the bar to engagement, he said that she was sure to accept.

As expected or Ryudou, the popular guy. I would never have been able to come up with such a surprise.

And as it turned out, I ended up proposing to Tomoe with the ocean dyed by the sunset in the background as I presented the ring to her.

Turns out that Ryudou was right. Tomoe apologized, saying that she couldn’t accept right now, but that was within expectations. Then, I asked her if she would be my fiancée, and she accepted, also according to Ryudou’s plan.

That day, Tomoe and I were officially engaged. The marriage wasn’t finalized yet, but it was still the best day of my life.

…A-Alright, today is our anniversary after all, and we reserved an inn, so… I-I’m going to do it! Go, me!

Since the time when Tomoe and I started dating, we still hadn’t had sex yet. We had a so-called ‘clean’ relationship.

But on this day, I was planning to finally become an adult man.

I never said it out loud, but Tomoe must have somehow guessed it, because when I gave off the vibe that we were going to do something that night, she didn’t say she was against it. She was surely open to the idea.

As Tomoe and I were leaving the cove and approaching the crosswalk leading to the inn, a car began to approach us. All of a sudden, the car came barreling towards us at a staggering speed.

Even though the light was green, my body froze up for a moment. Then, someone pushed me out of the way.

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I looked in front of me and saw Tomoe gazing at me with both of her hands out in front of her.

―I love you, Saito.

Tomoe said those words with a tearful smile on her face. But in the next moment, the car slammed into her and sent her flying.

“Tomoeeee!!”

Tomoe tumbled violently across the ground. And the car drove away without slowing down at all.

I immediately clambered to my feet and ran to Tomoe. That white one-piece dress which suited her so well was dyed a deep crimson. No matter how many times I called her name, she didn’t respond.

The people nearby who had witnessed the incident immediately called an ambulance. She was taken to the hospital, but the doctors told me that she had died almost instantly and that there was nothing they could do.

Then, Ryudou came running in. After hearing what happened, he grabbed me by the collar and slammed me into the wall.

“Why?! You! Why did she have to die?!” (Ryudou)

“….I’m sorry.” (Kuzuhara)

“…?! D-Don’t…. fuck around… with me…! You bastard, you said that you would protect her! You promised me that you’d make her happy!” (Ryudou)

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” (Kuzuhara)

There was nothing I could do except apologize. I felt so guilty towards Ryudou, who was blaming me through pained sobs… But more than anything, I felt that I was so useless… I just wanted the ground to swallow me up so I could disappear.

Later on, the funeral was held, with the people from the orphanage in attendance. Everyone shed tears and was saddened by the news of Tomoe’s untimely passing. They all told me that it wasn’t my fault.

Even though they were saying that out of consideration for me so I wouldn’t be so sad, I found myself… wishing that they would blame me. That they would say that she died because of me… just like Ryudou did.

Ryudou didn’t show up at the funeral. That person who killed Tomoe was never caught and was still on the run to this day.

From that day on, Ryudou became more and more violent. That image of being a model student and a popular individual crumbled, and bad rumors began to spread here and there. He dropped out of school and started to show signs of being involved with delinquents and yakuza.

I thought that it was my fault that Ryudou had become like that, so I tried to stop him. However, Ryudou turned me away, and instead… he began to act violently against me and the people of the orphanage.

He even used his subordinates to that end so he wouldn’t get his own hands dirty. It was fine if it was just towards me, but I couldn’t accept that he was acting that way towards the people around me. I was completely repulsed by his behavior and clashed with him over and over again. Then one day, Ryudou contacted me directly out of the blue.

Normally, I would have thought it was a trap, but this time was different.

“…Do you want to avenge Tomoe’s death?”

Over the phone, his voice sounded more serious than ever. As it turned out, Ryudou had been looking for the person who had committed the hit and run and killed Tomoe ever since. And he finally found that person.

So far, Ryudou had never lied when it came to Tomoe. When it came to her, he had always been sincere. That just went to show how much Ryudou respected… and loved Tomoe.

“I’m going to kill him. I’m going to show hell to that fiend who took her from me.”

With that, he hung up the phone. I immediately got a hold of one of his subordinates and forced them to tell me where he was headed.

I rushed to the place, but everything was already over. I arrived at some office in a multi-complex building, where I found several people lying on the floor.

One of them was a man, who was bleeding all over. Ryudou was standing over him, holding a bloodstained knife.

“….Yo. You’re late, Kuzuhara.” (Ryudou)

…By this point, he no longer called me by my first name. And neither did I call him the same.

“Ryudou, you…!” (Kuzuhara)

“Kukuku, at last… It took me an entire year. And now… she can finally rest in peace,” Ryudou said with a look of ecstasy on his face. The deviant expression on his face made it look as if he was possessed by a demon, sending a shiver down my spine.

“And one more thing. I’m going to make sure you bear your sin too, Kuzuhara.” (Ryudou)

“What the hell are you talking about?” (Kuzuhara)

“Gouzou Akuma, 45 years old. He’s the culprit who ran over your girlfriend, Katsuragi Tomoe, one year ago. You committed the crime out of hatred for the culprit. Is that right?” (Detective)

I froze, completely speechless. It wasn’t a surprise that this person was the real culprit. But what was unfathomable to me was why he was making it sound as if I had killed that man.

Of course, I rebutted, saying that I didn’t do it.

However…

“Everyone who was there said that they saw you kill Akuma.” (Detective)

…What?

‘Everyone who was there’ meant that among those who had been lying collapsed on the floor, there were still some alive. And without a doubt, those people were from Akuma’s office.

They had to have seen Ryudou kill him with their own eyes. Even if they were knocked unconscious immediately and didn’t see the murder happen, they must have understood that it was Ryudou, who appeared at the scene. So why did they say it was me? Did they say that to cover for Ryudou?

No, this is Ryudou we’re talking about here. Did he threaten them?

“Akuma was involved in many illegal business transactions and had ties to gangster organizations. He had also served time in prison in the past. It must have been traumatic for your girlfriend to have been killed like that. But… a murderer is still a murderer.” (Detective)

No. I didn’t kill him.

But those people who seemed to be Akuma’s buddies had sold me out. Even if those people had been threatened by Ryudou, would they try to protect the person who had killed their head?

…Then, I suddenly remembered that someone had made me lose consciousness.

What if the people who were there were pawns that Ryudou had prepared from the beginning?

They pretended to be knocked out, then they got up at the right moment to deliver a blow to my head. It made sense. Besides…

“And one more thing. I’m going to make sure you bear your sin too, Kuzuhara.”

The phrase that Ryudou uttered at the time flashed through my mind.

“…I see. So this is what you meant, Ryudou.” (Kuzuhara)

“Huh? Did you say something?” the detective asked upon hearing my muttering, tilting his head.

I looked the detective straight in the eye and answered.

“―That’s right. I… killed him.” (Kuzuhara)

And just like that, I was sentenced to five years in juvenile prison for a crime that I did not commit.

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