Chapter 36: Chapter 34: I… I can see?

We trained, and we trained some more.

Horse stancing had become much easier, and holding weights laterally while taxing was bearable. I was considering what would happen next, however. Normally, we would have been sparring, but after what had happened, while we had a tacit agreement to put it behind us, the thought of fighting him again was still making me shiver. I knew I couldn’t run, and I knew that he probably wouldn’t kill me. However, even if rationally I knew my life wasn’t at risk, I’d rather not have to fight him again.

This was my emotional side speaking. After all, I couldn’t rest on my laurels; if I wasn’t able to fight anymore because of fear, I might as well stop my whole quest there.

I meditated at the cascade. By meditation, I meant the usual dance. I was bringing my concentration to the inside.

While I wasn’t quite in a trance, I was in a high state of concentration. Guiding my consciousness through my useless mana veins, I was surveying the condition of my body. And I was healthy...

The way I had been battered by the red-eye and the recovery after it had taught me the extent of my regeneration; a healer had been involved. The question was who? I had seen their mana circulation and none of them were light users; none of them should be healers.

The more time passed, the clearer it became that the Galvrungs were truly a bunch of freaks. A dark magic healer? Since when?

Yeah, I should probably push these ideas aside and focus.

These thoughts were nothing but distraction.

Yes, I was afraid.

Yes, I was curious, but it would be foolish to waste the time I had right now. I regained my concentration and reached beyond. I stepped into the zone.

y..e..s

th..at.s... i..t

My solace. In this state, any wary of mine seemed insignificant. If only I could be in this state all the time.

I continued the dance, leaving behind my worries. Impregnating myself with the serene atmosphere of the place, after quite some time had passed, I tried something crazy. If I was in such a state because everything else seemed to phase out, what if I…

I tried phasing out my hearing.

Maybe, if I could somehow cut off my senses, I’d be able to stay in this state longer. After all, there would be nothing to distract me, right? As if it wasn’t there, the boisterous crashing of the water on the rocks, the whistling of the wind in the forest's foliage, and the carefree singing of the birds were muted.

Pure and utter silence.

...

This was disconcerting, in fact too disconcerting, and in fear boom.

I broke out of the trance, covered in cold sweat.

“Hey kid, you’re alright?” Romuald’s voice sounded.

“Y-Yes,” I answered. Waking up and being able to hear him reassured me. Somehow, I knew whatever I was doing wasn’t permanent. I swallowed my saliva and wiped my sweat off, steeling myself for the experiment that was to come.

“Can I have some more time?”

He looked at me with a smile. “Your eyes look interesting, alright give whatever you were doing another shot.”

I looked at him in a daze. I didn’t know what made my actions always so obvious to this pair of brothers.

“What you don’t want to after all?” He said teasing.

“N-no right on it!”

Yea, I’ll think about that some other time.

I calmed myself and emptied my mind and then laid on the ground, to let my body relax. I prepared myself mentally for what was to come. I had realized during these past 2 weeks of training that this state I was trying to enter was extremely sensible to even the slightest detail. If my mindset wasn’t right, or if I was trying to force it, it’d run away like a scared squirrel.

I stood up.

The only, yes, the only thing I could do was diligently do the dance and wait for it to come to me.

[…]

I wasn’t too sure how long I had been there. In this state, my sense of time wasn’t the greatest after all. However, I knew Romuald was being lenient with the time; to be fair, he never forced me out of meditation.

But after quite some time, I re-entered the flow.

no..w

I braced myself and tried again. First, hearing.

It was still as disconcerting. But I shifted focus from the outside world to my mana circuits, using the monotony of circulating my consciousness as a way of calming myself.

n..ext

Was smell. I didn’t expect much, but losing the refreshing smell of the doused earth wafting up to my nose, the grassy fragrance of the leaf and the soothing bouquet of the wild flowers, I almost faltered again. Circulating my consciousness inside to get used to this state was the only thing that kept me from waking up.

n..ext

I continued this series of phasing a sense out, being shocked, circulating my consciousness before proceeding further before my sense of sight was the only remaining sense preventing me from being just a consciousness in a body.

w..ell f..uc.k

This sense was much harder for me to get rid of than the others. After all, while earring, olfaction and touch were important, these eyes of mine that could see mana were my defining feature. The weapon upon which I was staking my future. If something went wrong here and I became blind…

The guilt and shame of being the one to screw my own chances would probably be too big to bear.

I circulated my consciousness for an abnormally long time. Until I couldn’t avoid it anymore. It was waking up or pushing forward.

n..ot ru.nn.ing

I am not running. I wouldn’t run away. While my sight was important, for someone like me, against whom the deck was stacked from the start, getting in the habit of running away while a viable way to survive would also mean this world had really won against me. That my last inch of pride had been broken.

h..ere g..oes ..no..thing

Black, the world faded to black. The difference was too jarring, too scary, and I was on the verge of waking up.

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n..o..’

I circulated my consciousness; I steeled my resolve and remained in this state. Seconds passed, and soon enough.. specs of light started appearing.

The words of Ega suddenly reappeared in my mind [Mana particles].

No way. I thought to myself,

w..as..n’t this

And that’s where I woke up. I had lost the focus to maintain this state.

And it’s with cold sweat and a sensory overload that I came back to the real world.

“AAAAH!”

I fell unconscious.
#

Splash

“AAAAAAAAAH WHAT THE WHO THE WHAT!?” I said, startled. I had been thrown into the water, clothes and all. And while this was quite the wake up call, I didn’t welcome it all.

Nearby, Romuald was laughing his ass off.

Note to self: make Romuald pay.

Second note to self: regain senses gradually next time.

Even so, “MWAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“What’s wrong? Did you hit your head?” Romuald said, taken aback.

But I couldn’t care less. “MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Shut it, kid, you’re scaring me.”

“MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

My mana viewing abilities are not linked to my eyes. It’s like a whole other sense... A mana sense!

Looking back, this made perfect sense, after all light that didn’t shine upon anything, and that I could somehow see clearer back in that cave than I could now were good signs that they were not the same, but still.

“MWAHAHAHAHA!”

Nearby, Romuald said with a trembling voice, “Poor soul.”

“He’s been possessed,” and as he said that, he broke character and into a fit of laughter.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out what he was referring to.

“You!” I said, as I couldn’t ignore him anymore. He didn’t wait for me to chase him as he ran away first.

As he ran away, he imitated my humiliating defeat from that day, which, by a fit of fate, eerily resembled what had just happened.

“S-sh-shut up!!” I said, running after him, flustered.

He ran away carelessly, keeping up his charades.

“WAAAAIIIIIITTT!!!”

##

We were now many hours later, at the time where sparring happened.

I was relatively fresh, emerging from my unavoidable sleep session after the massage.

I had found that the dance had impressive effects on my psyche. I was not eager to spar. But dancing helped me put my mind on something else and think.

I think I might get addicted to this.

Today was the last night I’d be spending here. So the last occasion to defeat him. Rationally, this made no sense, besides the forest (of posts) and this highly effective but also situational weapon. I had nothing. The mana circles could have been used, but I had not yet solved the contingency problem and even if I had, there was no way Romuald would fall for it.

But I wouldn’t let myself falter like that. If I was going to lose either way, I’d do my best to not regret it. I’d find out how I could win next time. I couldn’t run away now.

Phew, I guess it’s now.

“So kid, you sure you want to do that? I might be crazy, but I am not stupid. There’s no way you recovered yet.” Romuald said looking both impressed and concerned.

“If it’s about the approval thing, don’t worry, you already got it,” he said.

“Thanks.”

“But it’s not that...”

“I just don’t want to run away again. If I don’t win today, I’ll win some other day!” I said loudly in order to cement my resolution.

“HAHAHAHA! Alright I see, then good.. En garde!”

I breathed deeply. Eyeing the Blossoming Plum Flower Posts and tensed my muscle. Today was the last battle, and I was planning to use everything at my disposal to win.

Yesterday’s beating had a silver lining. I had somewhat gotten used to how to read the mana of a human size opponent.

This was the last fight, and I’d make the most out of it.

As I was breathing, eyes glowing with passion, Romuald yelled the signal.

“FIGHT!”

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