Chapter 2: Chapter 2 – My Grandma Goes Topless

AMILYN

What is there beyond life? That's the first question that comes to my mind when I finally regain consciousness. 

My eyelids are heavy, but I'm awake. Or am I?

I'm dead, I'm pretty sure I'm dead. I've been ripped to shreds by a tornado and now I'm dead.

Tentatively, I open my eyes. 

Light, blinding light. It takes some seconds for my eyes to adjust, and I blink a few times before I finally regain my sight. 

I look around me. Green. The ground is littered with moss and small wildflowers in full bloom. A gentle wind blows, carrying the sweet scent of flowers with it. The leaves rustle in the wake of the wind's kiss, accompanied by the soft chirping of birds.

I seem to be in a clearing of some sort, a small, round patch of land surrounded by century-old looking trees that race up to the sky. Their sturdy trunks span about a few feet across, roots crawling downwards like veins. High up above, their canopies span proudly against the sun's blaring light.

Rays of sunlight peek through the trees' crowns, providing both light and warmth, raining down showers of golden glow.

The whole scene is like a painting, a perfect picture. 

Is this it? heaven? 

I don't think I've done good enough in my life to deserve heaven. Well, not that I've done bad enough in my life to deserve hell anyway. I sort of just…went with the flow. But this place doesn't seem like the place for people who simply existed without leaving a mark in their lives, or people who were stupid enough to die via personalized torture tornado. 

So the question is, where am I?

"When there is a question, ask. An answer will never provide itself for minds who fear curiosity," says a voice from behind me.

I know that voice. Kind, warm, a little raspy, but reassuring and comforting. A voice who always tells me to drink my morning cocoa and asks me if I want my toast buttered or not. 

I turn around, and there she is, standing with her hands behind her back as if she's been expecting me. A kind smile is planted on her face, her long white hair cascading down her worn and wrinkled face, down her chest, reaching her waist. She's wearing a white skirt that seems to be a long piece of cloth wrapped around her waist. To my surprise, I realize she isn't wearing a shirt. Her long hair is covering her tatas, so as to spare me from the view.

"Nana! What are you doing here?" I ask, dumbfounded.

"Is that really the question you want to ask?" she says knowingly, still smiling.

"I…wha…" I try to say.

She continues to smile encouragingly, nodding.

She's always been like this, never directly telling me things, always only leading, prodding. Even in death (if we are dead), she doesn't seem to have any plans on being straightforward with me. And by the looks of it, she's been expecting me here. She knows something, somehow. And I know she won't tell until I ask the right question.

I try to think. What is this place? Some sort of afterlife? If so, then am I really dead? Is that the question? 

"Am I…?" I try to start.

"No, not yet. But that may come to pass, depending on what you decide," she replies. 

"What I decide?"

She smiles again.

"I have guided you for nearly sixteen years. The time has come for you to know the truth. You are sixteen today, you have come of age. Oh, look at that. Blue, I always thought you would be white, carefree like the wind. But maybe blue suits you too, deep and unfathomable like the ocean," she says.

She's referring to my hair, I realize. So she's been expecting my hair to change color? It isn't just some sort of prank? And what's this about me turning sixteen? As far as I know, I don't turn sixteen until next month, my finding day, the day nana found me. 

Yes, nana isn't my real grandma. She found me on the roadside when I was just a baby, and has raised me ever since. So we just celebrated my birthday on the day she found me. I never knew my real birthday.

"You have many questions, I know. And as much as I would like to spend the time to have you ask the right ones, we are short in time. The kalagitnaan is not a place for one to dwell in for a long time," she says.

"The what?"

"The kalagitnaan. The in-between. The space between life and death, accessible only to those who have been offered to the gods, to those who may, if they choose to be, become bagani."

She must have read the question mark on my face. Nana beckons me to sit down, and I do so.

"It's not true that I found you on the roadside when you were a baby. The truth is…you were given to me, assigned to me, you might say. I was posted to become your guardian, to raise you until you came of age.

 "I was given to you? You mean I was given away? Did my parents do it? Did they give me away?" I ask, half dumbstruck, half horrified.

"No dear. Oh no, that's far from the truth. Your parents loved you and would never give you away. The truth is far painful than a story of neglectful parents. No, your parents loved you so much that their pleas to save your life was heard by the gods."

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I'm left speechless, not sure what to say. I never really thought about my parents. Nana always provided for me enough that I never really lacked any familial love. But now…

"It was a fateful day, that one," nana continues. "You were just a babe, barely a month old. You and your parents were travelling back to Korea when the worst happened. The ship you were riding was caught in a storm. There was nothing to be done. Everyone was helpless. And your parents held on to you as the ship slowly sank. And they prayed, prayed so fervently, not for their lives, but for that of their daughter. They would do anything, anything to save her, to save you. When everything was about to be lost, they prayed that you may be found. And she heard. Anagolay, she heard. She heard the prayer that the lost be found at whatever cost. And so she sent me down to save you, the lost, but at a price, as all answered prayers must come at."

Silence. Nana… or whoever she is, is giving me time to digest what I just heard. So my parents died in a shipwreck. And I was saved by a…

"Who is this Anagolay?" I finally manage to ask.

"A goddess. The goddess of lost things. She was the one who sent me to save you and to keep you safe until you come of age. You see, I am an anito, a nature spirit, and I abide by the command of my mistress. So I took you, took care of you, until today, the day that you must pay the price for that which was lost but was found, for the answered prayer.

 "Nana, what are you talking about? Goddess? Anito? What price?"

"Yes, goddess. They exist. Gods and goddesses and spirits and more. They exist in this world, intertwined with its course. And the price… the price that must be paid…is your life."

"My life? Is that why I'm dead? This goddess wants my life?"

"You're not dead. You are in the in-between, the place of crossroads. Here you will choose. Will you choose to move on and end your life here, or will you accept your destiny and become a bagani, a sworn warrior of the gods?"

I think on it. Goddesses, prices.

"If I die, then that means I get to be with my parents, right?"

"No. You have been marked as an offering to the gods. If you refuse the call, you will have to suffer the conseqences and go to Kasanaan, the afterlife for sinners, for it is a sin to break an oath made with the gods," nana replies.

Afterlife for sinners. That's not really an inviting prospect. I doubt the gods will treat me kindly for breaking some promise. 

"And if I agree to become this…bagani or whatever?"

"You will live, and be trained as a warrior who will be sworn to protect the lives of the innocent and safeguard the peace of the world. You will learn the art of the bagani, warriors, shamans, seers, healers."

"So it's either I die and go to the bad sort of afterlife, or I live and become some sort of….wizard," I paraphrase.

Nana manages to smile at that.

"You are taking this better than most. Many would first deny the existence of the supernatural," she says.

"Well, I did just get attacked by some magic tornado powder, and I see no reason for you to lie to me. Not to mention I don't think you'd be game to give me some far-fetched story while flashing your tatas. Those nips peaking through your hair makes this all pretty convincing," I try to say off-handedly. 

I mean, I'm probably going through information overload. My brain is probably getting deep-fried with all this, so I guess I'll be dealing with the fallback later. 

"So, what do you decide?"

"You mean, am I willing to go to hell or do I want another chance at life?"

"The life of a bagani is not to be taken lightly, Amilyn. It is filled with peril in all sides. You do not know the evil that walks this world, evil only the bagani can subdue. It will not be easy."

"Still better than going to hell and facing the wrath of the gods," I try to sound candid, but the thought of facing whatever is evil out there really is starting to freak me out. Nana isn't doing a good job of pitching this whole bagani thing.

"If you say so."

Nana nods and holds out her palm. From there there manifests a small earthen jug.

"This is water taken from the fruit of the first tree in creation. This will take you back to the world of the living and imbue you with the power to begin your training as a bagani,"

I take the jug, peeking inside. The water looks clear, harmless. Hopefully it doesn't have any torturous side-effect like that mystery pearl earlier. 

"I still haven't given up on the hope that this is all a bizarre dream and I have never seen you topless," I try to joke.

Nana smiles, that same kind, warm, comforting smile. 

So…gods, evil, warriors. My life is about to take a full three sixty. Yep, my brain will definitely go haywire after this acid trip. Well, at least I'll have nana with me. She's my guardian after all. Kinda weird to have an old topless guardian, but I'll take it.

I raise the jug to my lips, taking a gulp of the liquid. It's sweet, savory, and goes down smoothly.

"I want you to know, it has been my great pleasure rasing you. You are a wonderful young woman, Amilyn. I'm sure you will go on to accomplish great things," nana says, the traces of a sad smile on her lips.

"What do you…"

I'm not able to finish my sentence. I fall to the ground, losing consciousness once again.

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